


With the Truth in Our Hands

by AilisCeana



Series: The Hours in Between [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Brotherly Angst, F/M, Lots of spoilers for the secret ends, Slight Canon Divergence, but MC is a lot more involved, it basically is the secret end, reliving the secret ends, spoilers for 707's route and basically the whole game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 110,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9491168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AilisCeana/pseuds/AilisCeana
Summary: MC and Seven set out to find Saeran together. They now know most of truth, but it won't be so easy to get their happy end. Following the secret ends and exploring the moments in between the novel modes.  Sequel to the Hours in Between, but can be read alone.Slight Canon divergence where MC is more involved in what happens. Lots of spoilers, angst, and fluff.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And, guess who is back! I know a lot of you were looking forward to his fic, so I want to thank you for your interest and sweet messages. For those of you who are new here, this fic is the sequel to my other fic "The Hours In Between." While this can be read alone, I recommend you read the other to pick up on the small inside jokes/references. So, here's chapter 1 to start out nice and easy. Hope you enjoy!~

It was warmer than it had been in quite awhile. Saeyoung relished in the breeze that whipped his hair back as he sped down the open road. The salty air from the seaside mingled with the sweet remnants of breakfast on his taste buds. If the unsettling knot in his stomach were to disappear, then he might feel as if he were on a holiday.

"Saeyoung, it says it picked up another trace."

MC's sweet voice carried over the wind to his ears. She had gotten into the habit of using his real name now…but no matter how many times she said it, his heart flipped in his chest at each syllable. Just the fact of having her there made him dizzy. Sometimes, he still wondered if it was real. Sometimes, he found himself reaching out for her, just to make sure she was actually there. They were really searching for his brother together. This was his new reality.

With a soft sigh, he pulled the car off the road. It was still fairly early in the morning, and the road was mostly abandoned anyway. He took the computer from her lap and stepped out of the car. "You can stretch your legs if you want," he said. "I'll need some time to analyze this."

Unsurprisingly, she took his offer. He glanced up at her every few seconds as he ran his program. Since the days in Rika's apartment, she had less of a tendency to wander off, but watching her had been a habit he had developed when he guarded her through the CCTV.

"He's close-by," Saeyoung said. "That means Vanderwood took my message seriously. He's coming towards the meeting place."

MC joined his side, leaning slightly against the car. She peered over his shoulder to see the traces that marked their own route and Vanderwood's route. "They won't be coming alone, will they?"

He chewed on his bottom lip. "No," he replied. "If we're lucky, my boss will keep his distance. But…I doubt it."

"How high up the ladder were you in the agency?" she asked.

He gave a small shrug. If he was being honest, he ticked off a lot of people when he joined the agency, simply because he managed to get in without conditioning and without the years of training the others went through. He had a lot of enemies probably volunteering for the chance to kill him.

Her eyes searched his face, but he tried not to let his fear show. He forced a smile and set the computer down to continue its diagnostics. "You should enjoy the view while we're here," he said, casually throwing an arm around her shoulder. "We'll be moving again in a few minutes."

She leaned into him, her arms snaking around his middle. "When this is all over," she muttered. "We should come back."

"Oh, but I might get sunburned," Saeyoung whined. "Or get a weird tan. See my hair? I'll look like a tomato or a potato with ketchup."

He felt her vibrate against him as she laughed silently. "Bring sunscreen," she said.

"Honey, you're so cruel," he gasped.

"It'll be fun," she went on. "The water will be warm by then. We don't even have to go deep. We'll just walk along it. As long as you don't decide to push me in, you'll stay alive."

It was his turn to laugh. They fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments before his computer once again alerted him of another trace from Vanderwood. He made the adjustments to the route quickly. His old comrade was predictable as ever…which was why Saeyoung prayed he would take the offer.

He and MC returned to their respective sides of the car. He started the car. "This should be our last long drive," he said. "They're very close now."

"We'll need a plan," MC pointed out.

He nodded. His eyes fell onto the glove compartment. "MC," he hesitated. He pointed to the compartment with a jerk of his chin. "Open it."

She gave him an odd look but obeyed. She froze for a few moments before she reached out with trembling fingers. She didn't pull the gun out of its place, but Saeyoung knew she understood what he meant. "Take it out," he instructed, while he reached underneath this seat. He pulled out a pack of extra bullets.

MC barely lifted the weapon, holding it in between her fingers as if it were a poisonous object. He took it from her and loaded it. He grabbed her wrist and placed the handle firmly in her open palm.

"S-Saeyoung, I can't," she said with a nervous chuckle. "Besides, you'll be there and—"

"I might not be," he interrupted. "If anything happens, I want you to use it."

"Nothing is going to happen," she said. She tried pulling away, but he kept his grip.

"MC, this isn't just Vanderwood," Saeyoung said, looking her straight in the eye. "This is the agency. They won't have mercy like you might. So, please…"

She clenched her teeth. "I can't. I could never shoot someone."

With an exasperated sigh, he grabbed her shoulders. "MC, please understand. I don't care what happens to me as long as you're safe. I need-" he shut his eyes, his emotions suddenly welling up inside him. He took a few moments to steady himself before once again looking her in the eyes. "I need to always know you're alive. Even if we're separated, I can find you. But I need you alive."

She hit his shoulder hard. "And you think I don't need you, dummy?" she snapped, her voice wavering. She hit him again, and Saeyoung had to resist the urge to pull her out of her seat and into his arms. She was usually calm and collected. He knew he pushed her limits when she grew passionate. "If you think I would just leave you behind, you're—you're—"

He pressed his lips her forehead. "MC," he mumbled against her skin. "For me. Promise if anything happens, you'll use it."

He waited, listening to her sharp breaths. Finally, she pushed herself away and nodded. She slipped the gun in between her seat and armrest. Then, she turned her whole body so that she was facing him. "But if anything happens, Saeyoung Choi, I will use the gun to get to you. So don't you dare pull any heroics on me."

He gave her a soft smile. "Yes, ma'am," he saluted before pulling the car back onto the road.

As they continued driving, Saeyoung gave her the details of what would most likely occur. She listened patiently, asking questions here and there. When he was done, he glanced over at her. Her brows were furrowed, and she chewed on her already worn-down bottom lip. "What's worrying you?"

MC inhaled sharply and leaned back in her seat. "I have an idea. I think it'll work."

Saeyoung scratched his cheek. He couldn't deny she was a good strategist. She was the one who found the seaside route in the first place…one he had missed completely in his research. Besides that, she could predict people better than him. "Yeah? What is it?"

She let out a dry laugh. "You're not going to like it."

"Oh, gosh," he groaned. He had a feeling that she intended to get way more involved than he would've liked. But, more likely than not, it would be better than anything he could come up with. So, he resigned himself to her brilliance and their attempt at a new beginning.

"Okay, what's your plan?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC and Saeyoung carry out the plan. Things get better and worse simultaneously. Following the events of Secret end ep 1, part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twooo is here~ Disclaimer...Some of the dialogue is straight from the Secret Ends. The events in this chapter were ones that I thought MC should've been WAY more active in, so this is my take on it. I might do this with a few other events as well, in parts where I thought MC might be more involved. I hope you like it...Let me know what you think. Vanderwood lovers, especially...this is for you <3 (Since we got no interaction with him in the game :( )Enjoy~

"Go to the car with me."

These were the words that sealed her fate…the words that confirmed her involvement with Saeyoung and his brother.

As soon as the sentence left her mouth, MC could sense the tension from the hacker beside her, despite it being part of the plan. She had suggested she be the one to lead Vanderwood away. It made sense, and it was the only way to convince Vanderwood to go to the car while simultaneously keeping Saeran safe.

"MC, are you sure?" Saeyoung said. He was acting, she knew. Still, she could tell he didn't like it. He protested to the plan initially, and knowing him, he'd try to flip it around.

He shook his head. "No, I'll just go," he said. So predictable.

"No," MC and Vanderwood said at the same time.

The latter cleared his throat. "I'll take her," he said. He turned to Saeyoung, and for a moment, MC could've sworn his expression softened. "You know what'll happen if you do something, right?"

"Of course," Saeyoung bit out.

"I told you not to get involved with her," Vanderwood said in a low voice. "If anything happens, it's your fault."

"If anything happens, Vanderwood," Saeyoung said, his voice so cold and solemn that the older man raised his brows in shock. "If you do something to her, I'm going to blow this whole place up." He tilted his head and once again gave a cheery smile. "Got it?"

Vanderwood let out a mirthless chuckle. "Are you threatening me? What…did you bring a bomb or something?"

MC snorted at the irony. Just a few weeks ago, they had left behind a bomb in the apartment and abandoned whatever weapons Saeyoung kept at his house. The only thing keeping them safe was a bunch of information and one single gun.

The red head spread out his jacket to reveal the inside. He lifted his shirt to show his belt. "As you can see, I have nothing on me. I don't have anything to hide, so just hurry," he said.

Saeran seemed to mutter something to Vanderwood. Meanwhile, Saeyoung turned to MC. She knew he couldn't be overly affectionate due to the agents who might be watching. They came together in a car, but so far, no one but potentially Vanderwood and Saeran knew of their attachment. "Be careful," he mouthed.

MC gave a small nod. She feared her shaking fingers might cause Saeyoung to change the plan, so she quickly snatched the keys from his hands and stuffed her own into her pockets.

"Then, let's go, lady," Vanderwood sighed.

She gave one last affirmative glance towards Saeyoung before heading to the car with the tall man. It was strange actually seeing Vanderwood face to face. Her boyfriend had only been able to give her some small descriptions about him, just for the sake of their mission. But, she could see the same sadness in the man's eyes as she saw in Saeyoung's. Well…at least, the sadness that was there before they set out on this path to get Saeran.

"No offense," Vanderwood muttered. "But are you stupid or something?"

MC raised a brow. "Don't let Sae—Seven hear you say that."

"I'm serious," he said. "You do realize, I suppose, the gravity of the situation. What it means to be with a hacker like him?"

She scoffed. If only he knew how many times Saeyoung made it so very clear. Over and over again, he pushed her away for those very reasons. But MC was stubborn…both a strength and a weakness. Those days at the apartment were torturous…they felt like so long ago. "And how do you know I'm not a dangerous woman myself, Agent Vanderwood?" she challenged.

If she was being honest with herself, she probably couldn't hurt a fly. Saeyoung had showed her some things for self defense…and how to shoot a gun, in case anything happened. But other than that, she was just a normal girl who happened to get herself into an abnormal situation. Still, she could use her words wisely. Jumin had told her it was one of the reasons she could gather guests so quickly. It was something he told her to use if she needed to…a piece of advice she was all too happy to accept.

"I don't," he returned. "But I still think my agency is a bit more dangerous."

Not as dangerous as Saeyoung apparently, MC thought wryly.

Vanderwood scrunched his nose when the car came into view in front of them. It wasn't parked very far away…Saeyoung needed it to reach the com device tucked into his shirt. Still, it was a good distance.

"You know, I secretly hoped I would never have to see that car again," Vanderwood said. To MC's surprise, there wasn't malice in his voice…but sadness. Was he actually hoping Saeyoung would've escaped successfully?

"Why not?" she cooed. "It's such a pretty car!"

Vanderwood glanced askance at her. "She's just a female version of him, isn't she? God help me."

MC waited until they were right next to the car to unlock it. She gestured to the driver's side, pointing to the small pile of hard drives. "There," she said, nonchalantly before opening the passenger side door.

"What are you doing?" Vanderwood frowned, hesitantly crossing over to the other side of the car.

"What are you afraid of?" MC shrugged, slipping sideways into the seat. Of course, he didn't know of the gun tucked in between the seats. "I can't drive from this side and I'm leaving the door open."

The agent only shook his head before opening the car door and filing through the drives one by one. After several long minutes, Vanderwood crossed his arms and stood straight. "This seems to be everything," he muttered. His eyes shifted back to the pile and confusion clouded his features. "But still…how can I trust him?"

That was her cue. "It's a bit quiet, isn't it?" she sighed. She reached for the radio as he started the process to delete the data. She switched it on.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Vanderwood said. His scowl morphed into a bitter smile. "I should've known. He has some funny device implanted in the car, right?"

MC only grinned, waiting for Saeyoung's voice to come out of the speakers. "Vanderwood, it's me. Agent 707."

Vanderwood shot her a frantic look. "Why is his voice coming out of the radio!"

MC wiggled her fingers. "Magic," she whispered.

He obviously didn't appreciate the joke, but MC couldn't help it. Saeyoung was right when he said the older agent was fun to tease…when he wasn't threatening anyone with a taser, that was.

"You won't be laughing if I—" he began, but Saeyoung's voice interrupted.

"Don't even think about holding the person next to you hostage. If you even touch her, I will make sure you disappear from the face of this earth. So watch it. I'm serious."

The tone of his voice even sent chills down MC's back. Over the past few weeks, she had seen many sides of him. It was nice being able to learn the depth of his character. Now, she was seeing for the first time how protective he was of her. It was touching…and comforting. Despite the fact that her very life could be ended by the gun which she knew was tucked in Vanderwood's belt, she felt completely safe.

The agent once again met her eyes, but he did not look angry. He wore a blank expression, as if he'd been through this before. "This was all part of your plan, wasn't it?" he asked.

"I told you I'm a dangerous woman," she said. "If you would, please check the hard drives once again…just to look busy."

He swore under his breath before looking back at the radio. With a sigh, he obeyed her orders. Saeyoung waited a few more seconds before speaking again. MC stayed silent, letting him convince the agent beside her in a way only a comrade could. Meanwhile, she pulled out the identification forms from the glove compartment and handed them to Vanderwood when prompted.

"You hacked into the national registry?" the man breathed. His fingers shakily ran over the papers. "Are you insane?"

"He is," MC sighed. She still wasn't too thrilled with that when he told her. It was dangerous…beyond dangerous…but he was determined to get Vanderwood out of the agency.

Saeyoung chuckled. "Now listen. I've left the person most important to me in your hands. This is the only chance for you to live." His voice softened. "The Vanderwood I know wouldn't refuse this. If you understand, tell your boss everything is okay, and then drive towards me...Then, see you later."

Vanderwood swore, looking back towards where Saeyoung and Saeran were waiting. He turned to MC. "I'm sorry to say, but even if I did accept, they'd shoot and kill us before we even get there."

MC released a breath she didn't know she was holding. That meant he was leaning towards their side. "The car's bulletproof," she informed. "So, hurry and make the decision before your boss suspects something."

He swore a few more times under his breath before staring back at the forms in his hands.

She cleared her throat, catching his attention. "You know," she said. "It was Saeyoung's idea to get you out. He said something about owing you after all these years. He won't say it…but, I think he considers you a friend."

She wasn't manipulating any words. It was true. Before they had even made a plan, Saeyoung insisted they get the papers to Vanderwood somehow. MC figured to incorporate it into their escape.

Vanderwood stared at her as if she had five heads. "Friend?" he barely whispered. "Agents don't have friends."

"They aren't supposed to get close to anyone either, and yet here I am," she said, gesturing to herself. "Saeyoung likes to break the rules when it comes to the people he cares for, if you haven't noticed."

His attention returned to the papers, clutching them more tightly. He shut his eyes and exhaled sharply before pulling out his communication device. MC slowly brought her legs into the car while he made up an excuse for his boss. Her heart was racing, despite everything going to plan.

She found her fingers reaching in between the seats, feeling for the cool handle of the gun.

"He must be planning something. Hold the woman hostage and approach him, over."

The words from Vanderwood's intercom made MC's blood run cold. She turned her gaze to Vanderwood while slowly getting a better grip on the handle. She wasn't too keen on the thought of having to use it. In fact, it made her sick to her stomach…but Saeyoung made her promise.

"Yes, sir," Vanderwood replied, pulling out his gun and lifting it ostensibly. MC tensed, her finger now positioned over the trigger. The agent switched off the device. He carefully dumped the hard drives at her feet. "Just play along, got it?"

MC nodded, slowly releasing the gun. He was joining them. Saeyoung was right. On Vanderwood's signal, they both shut the doors of the car. He tossed his gun on her lap and started the engine.

The next moments were long and short all at once. Vanderwood raced forward, his boss's angry protests blaring through his com device. It wasn't until he threatened to shoot did Vanderwood stop the car, but it was too late then.

MC's first instinct was to find Saeyoung. She was relieved to see him well, but slightly annoyed to see him dragging Saeran to the driver's side. "What the heck happened!"

He glanced at her briefly as if to check if she was harmed. He opened the door. "Vanderwood! Take him in! Hurry!"

"Why is he unconscious?" Vanderwood asked, although he managed to get a grip of Saeran's arms.

"Saeyoung, get in the car!" MC shouted.

Of course, he ignored her, making sure his brother got into backseat. MC's heart threatened to leap out her throat. Her eyes scanned the forested area behind them. The sharp outlines of guns and black figures began to appear. "Saeyoung, hurry," she pleaded.

It was too late. Gun shots rang out, pinging against the car. MC covered her face with her arms, praying that they would stop. Her stomach twisted when Saeyoung let out a sharp cry.

"Get him in!" he yelled at Vanderwood. The guns ceased fire.

"I'm trying!" the older man returned evenly. He turned to MC. "Hey, lady, drive."

"What—"

"Do it!"

Vanderwood stepped out of the car briefly before picking up Saeran as if he weighed nothing. He climbed into the backseat at an impressive speed, keeping his head away from the windows. MC climbed over the arm rests and cup holders and into the driver's seat. She fumbled for the ignition and restarted the car. Saeyoung had always done the driving, so she wasn't accustomed to it at all.

Speaking of the red head in question, Saeyoung was still gaping at Saeran in the back seat. "Get in!" MC yelled, grabbing at his shirt. He blinked, snapping out of his dazed stupor before getting into the other side of the car.

"Are you okay?" she breathed, clutching at his hoodie, afraid to see any red.

He grabbed the top of her head and gently pushed it down. "Keep your head down, MC," he said. "And make sure—"

"Worry about your own life!" Vanderwood snapped. "And close the door!"

Saeyoung jumped. MC didn't fail to notice he closed it with his left hand. "Saeyoung," she began.

"Not now," he said through gritted teeth. "Just floor it!"

MC swore he and his unwillingness to care for himself would be the death of her. Still, she did as she was told and slammed her foot onto the gas pedal. Thankfully, her driving skills hadn't gotten rusty since this whole debacle happened.

Gun shots hit the back of vehicle as they drove. It was surreal, really. But they had done it…they had saved Saeran.

She should've kept her eyes on the road, but she couldn't help glancing sideways at her boyfriend who was clutching his arm.

Yes, they had saved Saeran….but she was sure this was just the beginning—not the end-of their troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...did you like this concept of "retelling" some areas of the secret ends? Let me know! I'll still be filling in the moments in between, but I'm thinking of doing this style intermittently throughout the story if you you all like it. As always, thank you for reading! I'll be updating near the end of this week, so look forward to it. I will be responding to reviews/PM's/comments if you send any as they come in! Have a wonderful evening~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung is in worse shape than he thought, and Vanderwood makes some amusing misunderstandings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday~ Hope this chapter is a good kick-off for your weekend:) This one is another in-between scene. Hope you enjoy!

There were two things that Saeyoung was acutely aware of despite his arm searing with hot pain. Firstly, MC was a far better driver than he expected. Secondly, Vanderwood really needed to stop screaming out directions that drilled into his already aching head.

After nearly an hour of driving, Saeyoung could barely hold his concentration. Maybe he should just let Vanderwood and MC deal with this part…

"Pull into that warehouse, and park the car!"

Or maybe not. He twisted around to face Vanderwood, ignoring his body's screaming protests. "Are you insane? We'll get caught!"

His ex-handler ignored him and placed a hand on MC's shoulder. "Do as I say or we won't have a chance."

MC bit her lip. "Sorry, Saeyoung," she muttered before making the sharp turn. He wanted to argue, but he remembered too late that he had opted to not wear a seatbelt. He was an idiot. The turn sent him flying into the door, sending waves of fresh fire through his side. One moment he was seeing trees, and the next they were inside an abandoned garage.

"What the…" he breathed. He couldn't focus very well at all. Everything was blurry, but he could catch snippets of sound. The sound of metal clanging…panicked voices…what smelled like gasoline? How did he end up on a cement floor?

"Saeyoung, honey….honey, look at me…Stay awake…"

A soft voice gently cut through his scattered thoughts. Right. MC was there. He kept blinking, finally getting his mind to focus. He reached out for the blurred face in front of him, only to have a hand swat away his own.

"Don't touch me like that, you weirdo," Vanderwood snapped.

Panic rushed through him as his vision still didn't clear. Another figure came into view before placing his glasses on his face. He could now see much clearly, although his pride was somewhat wounded. He let his head fall backwards against what he assumed was his car. "Ah," he choked. "Sorry, Miss."

MC shoved Vanderwood aside and clutched his face, twisting it one way and another. "Did you hit your head? You passed out," she said. "And back there, I heard gun shots and then you—oh gosh, did it hit your back?"

He gently pushed her away. "You're making me dizzy," he muttered. That was an excuse really. He used his grip on her to keep her still while he scanned her. "Are you hurt anywhere? Did anyone harm you—"

His words trailed off when the color drained from her face all at once.

"Oh…my…" she breathed, her eyes planted his arm. Out of instinct, he clutched at it. Bile rose to his throat when he felt something hot and sticky. He followed her gaze. Blood was seeping through his sweatshirt and dripping through his fingers.

"That's not good," he mumbled. He figured he had been caught by the bullet when he felt pain…but he was bleeding…a lot.

"Vanderwood," MC called. The older man appeared from behind a set of old rusty lockers. His arms cradled some cheap tools. He rushed towards them. The tools hit the ground beside the car with a clatter so loud, Saeyoung winced.

"We don't have time," Saeyoung choked out when Vanderwood retrieved a first aid kit from the back seat.

"Do you want to bleed out all over the floor?" he growled. He roughly pulled Saeyoung's hand away from the wound. "Hey, lady. Help him get the sweatshirt off."

MC did as she was told, gently tugging on the sleeve on his bad arm to spare him any pain. Even through his pain induced sluggishness, he could see how drastically pale she had become.

Vanderwood hurriedly pulled out some bandages, gauze, and a bottle of some kind. "We only have ten, maybe fifteen minutes," he said. "The bullet just grazed him, but he's right. We don't have time. Clean it up as best you can."

MC gaped at him as he gathered more tools of the ground. "What? Me? What are you going to do?"

Vanderwood lay on his back and shimmied under the car. "I placed a tracker on all of Seven's cars. I need to get it off since the agency can use it."

Saeyoung frowned. "H-hey," he forced. "Don't damage my baby."

"You have bullet holes on the hood!"

"Yeah, but those are cool," he whined. "Not your grimy fingers."

MC knelt in front of him, pouring some of the contents of the bottle onto a napkin. "I think you have other things to worry about, Saeyoung."

"I'm fine," he said, trying his best to grin.

"Say that when your blood isn't all over my hands," she replied through gritted teeth. He hissed when she placed the cloth over his wound. Hot pain shot through his shoulder. Not good….

He looked up, his eyes falling on the large crack on the windshield. A sick feeling twisted in his stomach. He turned to MC, grabbing her shoulder and pushing her back. "You never answered me. Are you hurt at all? Did any of the bullets hit you?"

She stared at him, her eyes sparkling with a mix of exasperation and disbelief. "You are insane," she said with a strangled laugh. She pulled out the bandages and began wrapping his arm. "You're the one with a bullet wound."

"I already told you that I don't care what happens to me," he said, shaking his head. "As long as—"

He was interrupted when she grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him towards her. He had no choice but to look her dead in the eye. "I care what happens to you, you idiot," she said, her voice low but tense. She tightened her grip on his shirt, causing them to come nose to nose. They had been this close before…closer, technically. But he didn't feel his stomach flip or his face grow hot. What he felt was more intense. It was as if all of her emotions were being transferred straight into him through some sort of invisible connection. And boy, it didn't feel good.

"I care if you die," she went on. "If you get captured, if you go missing—I care! Got it? If anything happens to you, Saeyoung-" Her voice caught on the last syllable of his name. He brushed her arm with his fingers. Was it possible for someone to worry for him this much?

"MC, I—"

She let him go abruptly, his back hitting the car with a soft thud. He watched her bandage his arm up in stunned silence. She tore off the extra piece and placed it back into the first aid kit. "What in the world were you even doing?" she sighed, running a hand through her hair.

He blinked a few times, awakening himself out of the daze. "I—er—" he began, not able to meet her gaze. "I just heard gunshots, and all I could think of was to cover Saeran."

His eyes went wide. Saeran…of course. He tried to push himself up to stand, but MC shoved back down onto the cold cement. "He's fine," she said, reading his mind. "He's unconscious."

Saeyoung rubbed the back of his neck. He felt somewhat guilty about that, but he couldn't help it. He clenched his jaw, his brother's harsh words coming back to mind. He cut short the replay of the moment that threatened to resurface. "I knocked him out," he explained. "He'll wake up in a few hours."

MC shut the first aid kit and pushed it aside. There was a tense silence between them for the next few seconds before she burst. "You know you can't protect us if you're dead, right?"

Saeyoung sighed, reaching for her hand. Her emotions were a natural response to seeing her boyfriend get shot, he supposed. Still, he hated when she got like this. It was like he had to stand back and watch someone tear her heart in two. "MC, I don't plan to die. Not now."

She groaned, rubbing her eyes. "I know…I know. I'm sorry. I just—Please be careful, Saeyoung. For my sake."

"Okay," he agreed, pressing a kiss to her hand. "I promise."

She exhaled shakily before her head fell forward onto his chest. He slowly brought his good hand to her hair. Warmth radiated from her body like a heater. "Are you…okay?" he asked.

"Sorry," she replied. Her voice was distant and tired. Her hands clutched onto his shirt as she curled against him. "The adrenaline just drained from me."

"Are you able to drive again?" he said.

She gave an ambiguous grunt in reply. Vanderwood slid back out from underneath the vehicle and started filing through the tools. "She's going to have to be able," he said. "One of us is wounded, one of us is unconscious, and I need to keep track of the agency on your laptop. I still have access to their scanners until they kick me out."

"I'll be fine," MC said, this time her voice coming out much stronger, although she still leaned against him. Saeyoung never doubted her ability, but her condition worried him. Since they first decided to rescue Saeran together, he saw her breaking. When she first joined the RFA, she was bright and smiling, even when things were rough. Day by day, he watched the small cracks grow into deep faults. When she thought he wasn't looking, he saw it. Worry written plainly on her forehead, dimming the sparkle in her eyes. She slept less, and grew a little thinner. He would never tell her, as she should probably smack him and tell him that she would be fine and wasn't going anywhere. That didn't mean he had to like it.

Saeyoung turned to Vanderwood whose upper body had once again disappeared. "What's taking you so long?" he said. "A tracker isn't that difficult to—Are you taking apart my car? Why is that part there and not attached to the vehicle!"

MC tightened her grip on his shirt, pulling him back before he could see what the other man was doing. Vanderwood only snorted. "Trust me, if I could slap my past self right now, I would. Why'd I make it so fricking difficult?"

The red-head huffed. "This wouldn't have been a problem if you would've trusted me."

Vanderwood curled sideways so his head was peering up at Saeyoung. "I put this here because you have a tendency to pull stupid stunts," he said before disappearing underneath the car again. The younger man couldn't deny it. "I just never expected you to do something as stupid as eloping."

Saeyoung raised his brows at Vanderwood's misunderstanding of the situation. He and MC exchanged amused glances before breaking out into a fit of giggles. Sure, he had every intention of marrying MC once things steadied…if she would have him. But, there would still be some time before that.

"Are you seriously laughing now?" Vanderwood scolded.

That only made it worse. Maybe it wasn't that funny, but under the circumstances, the suggestion made Saeyoung feel like his whole life had been turned into a K-Drama.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss," Saeyoung said. "But, you know, MC and I would love your blessing now."

Both of them erupted in laughter when Vanderwood kicked his leg in annoyance. Saeyoung peered down at MC, happy to see some of the burden on her shoulders alleviate.

She cleared her throat in a poor attempt to stop shaking in her amusement. "So, where's our next destination?"

Saeyoung chewed on his lip and pulled out his phone. He opened his map and took in the possible routes from their present location. A road nearby looked especially familiar. MC joined him, peering over his shoulder.

He followed the path part of the way until he finally recalled where it led. He shut the phone and replaced it in his pocket. "I think I got it."

MC nodded, obviously remembering it as well. "You read my mind actually," she said. "I just didn't realize it was so close by. It should take us a few hours."

"Hey!" Vanderwood slid back and propped himself up on one elbow to face them. Oil and dirt now lined his cheeks making him less ominous than his usually pristine appearance. "Rule number one-No mind reading. Okay? Now, what's this place?"

"The cabin," the couple replied simultaneously.

"It's a few hours down the road," Saeyoung explained. "It's been abandoned for over a year. We stayed there awhile ago. We wouldn't stay long, but at least a night to gather ourselves and plan the next steps."

Vanderwood looked down onto the ground, his eyes calculating. After a few moments of silence, he sighed and got back to his work . "Fine, we have no choice."

Saeyoung nodded. He turned to MC. "I showed you how to check the CCTV, right?"

"Yeah, but—"

He cupped her cheek. "Unfortunately, I can't type right now. I still have the place logged in the system. Just find it and check for the past few weeks since we left. I'll worry about readjusting the cameras later."

"Your computer is dead," Vanderwood said. "Your back-up battery pack got shot in the commotion when we were getting Saeran inside. You'll need a power outlet."

MC pushed herself to her feet. Saeyoung was now suddenly aware of the chill from the few broken windows…and his lack of a sweatshirt. "Over there," MC said, pointing to the other side of the garage.

"I'll come—"

"No need," Vanderwood interrupted. "You can watch her from your current position. It's not as if there's anyone here. You're the one who shouldn't be moving around."

"He's right," she replied, already retrieving his bag from the backseat.

Saeyoung pursed his lips. MC was enough to try to convince, but now she and Vanderwood were teaming up on him? He didn't have a chance. "At least take the gun."

Vanderwood groaned, reached into his belt, and held up his own pistol. "Take it before he complains the whole time."

MC chuckled and gratefully accepted the weapon. With one last reassuring glance to Saeyoung, she hurried away to the other side of the building. She really wasn't that far, but he still didn't feel good about having her farther than arm's length. He didn't even like the whole plan where she went with Vanderwood alone. He was always terrified that she would disappear into thin air, and he would be alone again. That's one reality he couldn't handle.

His thoughts were interrupted by Vanderwood's cry of triumph. He emerged from underneath the car, a small box with wires sticking every which way in his hand. He easily replaced the few car parts into place before sitting next to Saeyoung.

He offered the small box to him. "Do you need to throw something?"

"No," Saeyoung replied, returning his attention to MC.

Vanderwood sighed, propping his leg up and resting his arm across his knee. He threw the tracker on the ground and crushed it underneath his boot. "This is insane," he laughed. "What am I even doing here?"

"You're here because you, too, realized the hell hole we were living in was no longer bearable."

Vanderwood grunted before pulling out his box of cigarettes. He lit one, the smoke drifting into Saeyoung's lungs. He reached over and snatched it from his ex-supervisor's mouth and threw it as far as he could away from them.

"You said you didn't need to throw anything!" Vanderwood growled.

Saeyoung didn't answer. He wasn't angry…annoyed, maybe, since he had a feeling the older man would be siding with MC a lot more now and forcing him to let her go every once in awhile. Did they make some sort of secret pact while he was unconscious? More than that, he hated the smell of cigarette smoke. And right now, he needed to focus without a bunch of unwelcomed coughing fits getting in the way.

"So," Vanderwood began after a few moments of silence passed. "That's the same girl?"

Saeyoung's cheeks burned, remembering that Vanderwood was more perceptive to his feelings than he was himself just a few weeks ago. "Yeah…"

"What happened, exactly?" Vanderwood said.

The young hacker bounced his legs a bit, trying to get circulation flowing through them. "A lot," he said. An understatement really. "Why are you suddenly interested?"

Vanderwood's gloved fingers tapped against his knee rhythmically. Saeyoung recognized the anxious movements from years of knowing his partner. He was uncomfortable…awkward. He only made that movement around their clients or their boss. But why was he like that with him now?

"Because you've changed, Agent 707."

The statement shocked Saeyoung enough that he turned his head away from MC for a moment to look at Vanderwood. In those few seconds, a soft expression replaced his hard one…a smile rested on his lips instead of scowl. Then a hand gripped the top of his head and twisted it back onto MC.

"Don't look at me like that, and keep an eye on your wife," Vanderwood said, that familiar edge returning to his voice.

Saeyoung smirked, but didn't bother correcting him. He let his head rest against the car door. Vanderwood went on, "I just mean, you seem a bit calmer than before. I almost thought you were returning back to the time when I first met you."

"You're right, Agent Vanderwood," he said. "I have changed. But I'm not that person…and I'm not 707 anymore either."

"Then who exactly are you?" Vanderwood snorted. "Actually, nevermind. If you're having some sort of identity crisis, I don't want to sign up as your therapist. You talk enough as it is."

Saeyoung couldn't help the smile that tugged on his lips. He hated being an agent and doing filthy deeds on behalf of a cruel organization. But…admittedly, he'd missed the banter between him and Vanderwood. He was the only person, besides MC and V, that managed to keep him level-headed.

The older man stood when MC began packing up the equipment. He stepped over Saeyoung before reaching down to help him to his feet. "I just hope nothing happens to her," he said, low enough so only Saeyoung could hear. "It would be a shame."

His words struck a sore spot within Saeyoung. He wasn't wrong. If anything, MC shouldn't be here at all. If he had succeeded in stopping Saeran and finishing the work for the agency, MC would be at Rika's apartment right now, probably sending "thank you" emails to guests that had attended the party. Saeyoung would probably be sending jokes in the messenger to hide the fact that he hadn't been sleeping or eating well. Saeran would still be stuck at Magenta.

Doubts filled Saeyoung's mind constantly on whether or not this was the right thing. But every time he saw her, somehow they fizzled into oblivion. She wanted to be by his side…she wanted to help him. They worked the best when together, and that was a truth he had long since accepted. "Nothing will happen," he said with a small smile. "Not while I'm still breathing."

"Everything's clear," MC said, handing the laptop to Vanderwood.

Saeyoung nodded. "Good. Vanderwood can hack into the agency's scanner as long as he can without being detected. That should give us an advantage."

"I'll need directions too, Vanderwood," MC said. "Saeyoung, sit in the backseat—and put a belt on!"

He grabbed her arm before she walked to the driver's side. "Be careful," he whispered.

"You be more careful," she responded. She jabbed his chest with her finger. "I'm serious. If you die, I'll kill you."

He chuckled, pecking her forehead quickly before climbing into the backseat. The sight of Saeran sprawled out against the seats took him off guard for a moment. He shifted his head onto his lap, so they both could remain somewhat comfortable. His twin stirred underneath his touch. For the first time since they reunited, he wasn't scowling or wearing that strange, empty smile. When he was sleeping, he didn't seem too different than when they were kids. He still stuck out his bottom lip ever so slightly, and his eyes would twitch every so often, indicating that he was dreaming.

"Ready?" MC called from the front seat.

As she pulled the car out of the garage, Saeyoung mumbled a few quick prayers under his breath. He patted Saeran's head. "This is only a step towards a better life, Saeran," he muttered. "I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Saeyoung ever correct Vanderwood? Nah, probs not. Anyway, hope you liked this one. Next chapter MIGHT be up before the weekend, but since I'm still in the process of writing it, I can't give any promises:( If I don't, I hope a hundred tiny, chibi Saerans give you ice cream. (What am i even saying? I apologize. I need coffee lol). As always, I love to hear from you, and I'll be answering messages all through out the week. Bye-bye~


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung and Vanderwood are hesitant bros, and Saearan and MC have a little moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Surprise! I'm updating a day earlier this week, because I haven't been feeling well so I had some extra time. Like ch. 2, some of the dialogue is taken straight from the secret ends, give or take a few changes. So disclaimer there. Anywho, hope you enjoy!~

MC was sure she thanked God for Vanderwood at least a hundred times since they arrived at the cabin. He somehow managed to keep Saeyoung seated on the couch while he and MC unpacked the car. He even got the fireplace going without one peep from the young hacker's mouth.

She poured the boiling water into three different ramen noodle cups. It wasn't much of a dinner, but they only had whatever she and Saeyoung had stocked up on during their tiny road trip. She covered them before quietly making her way to where Vanderwood and Saeyoung were discussing their next move.

It was slightly odd seeing them so casual on the couch. Saeyoung had discarded his hoodie and red shirt, wearing only his black tank top. His arm was wrapped with fresh bandages, courtesy of Vanderwood—at least, MC assumed. Meanwhile, the older man wasn't wearing his usual cape-like blazer, and was now donning a loose purple button up. Also, he was less grumpy looking when his hair was tied back into a pony tail.

Both sat on opposite ends, their legs stretched out in front of them. They looked more like old pals than two coworkers. In fact, it would have seemed that way to MC if she hadn't witnessed firsthand their constant bickering during the car trip.

She realized she had been staring blankly at them both when Saeyoung caught her gaze. "What're you looking at?" he asked, though she didn't miss the teasing undertones.

"Nothing," she stammered, suppressing the growing heat in her face. He opened his mouth, most likely to provoke her further, but was interrupted.

"We should leave within the hour," Vanderwood sighed, pulling out Saeyoung's laptop as well as his own from a bag on the floor. He booted them up, opening the scanner to the agency's GPS system and showing it to MC and Saeyoung. "They've split up since we destroyed the tracking device, but it's only a matter of time until they find their way here."

"No," Saeyoung shook his head."We have to stall a bit more here. If we move, the agency will definitely find us."

"True," MC added. "They're expecting us to jump from place to place, right? So it's better if we throw them off a bit."

Vanderwood yanked off his gloves and threw them aside. "But should we take that risk?" he said. He turned to Saeyoung. "Even better, just spread info about the agency online. Let them self-destruct."

Saeyoung cringed, sucking air between his teeth. He ran his good hand through his hair, tugging on the ends. "No," he said finitely. "Then everyone in the agency including the innocent ones will be sacrificed."

"If you damage your shoulders for good with all this running around, you'll never be able to type again! Since when did you care about them anyway?" Vanderwood barked.

MC pursed her lips. More likely, Saeyoung has always cared about them…the innocent ones anyway. He had explained a very little bit to her about how the agency worked…who was involved…how some of his actions could affect them. Really, the information gathered was just blackmail. He had no intention of hurting anyone—he never had, despite his tendency to act indifferent.

"I'm keeping the info," Saeyoung said. His eyes drifted down to his arm, cradled at his side. "Besides, I can go see a doctor once we're safe."

Vanderwood groaned, shooting an exasperated look at MC for help. "I can't believe you right now."

"Well…" Saeyoung let out a cheery laugh. "Now I have two people to protect. I'm not going to do anything rash."

"How can you laugh right now?" Vanderwood deadpanned. There was a brief silence where his fingers hovered over his keyboard. His eyes plastered themselves onto the screen. "And I guess I don't count in those two."

MC raised an eyebrow. She hadn't missed the tinge of disappointment behind his words. Was Saeyoung not the only hacker who had a mask?

Saeyoung cleared his throat. "Actually…I never said it, but thank you for deciding to get us out, Vanderwood. We'd all have been dead without you."

The older man clenched his jaw, tensing when MC placed a hand on his shoulder. "And if you hadn't gotten the tracker off, our attempts to escape would've failed as well. Thank you."

Vanderwood exhaled sharply before pulling out the identification forms from earlier. "No need to thank me," he said. "I didn't do it for you. I trust the ID is real."

"Of course," Saeyoung said, his soft expression being replaced with an offended scowl. "Who do you think I am?"

MC rolled her eyes. "What is it with you guys and emotions?" She realized she had said it out loud when both Vanderwood and Saeyoung gave her confused looks.

She only waved her hand dismissively. Saeyoung's eyes hardened when he turned back to Vanderwood. "I'll just tell you the code, so type it for me."

MC assumed they had decided to hack into the agency. Figuring it wasn't an area where she could lend her services, she returned back into the kitchen to fetch their "dinner." Setting a pair of chopsticks in each, she somehow managed to get all three cups into the living room, only tripping once in the process. She placed the cups beside them as Saeyoung rambled on some code. A hand grabbed her wrist, and he took a short breath to kiss her on the cheek—not without an annoyed groan from Vanderwood-before spouting out more code without even a break in concentration.

With a small smile, she moved to the chair closest to where Saeran was placed. Since he was mostly sheltered and unconscious during the ride, she was sure he didn't have any wounds. Still, he seemed uncomfortable with his jacket half falling off his shoulder. She grabbed a blanket and draped it over him. Only…that must've disturbed him.

His eyelids slowly fluttered open. His mint eyes met hers, and she could see the confusion unfurl in his features. She held her breath as she watched, wondering if he would just go back to sleep. But he didn't. His brows furrowed, and he clutched his head. "Where…" he breathed.

"He's awake," MC announced, catching the attention of the other two.

"Saeran," Saeyoung called. Forgetting his arm, he tried to lean forward. He hissed and gripped the edge of the bandage.

Vanderwood placed a hand over his chest and pushed him back into the couch. "I get that it's an emotional reunion, but don't strain yourself."

Saeran turned to MC. "Where am I?"

"Safe," she replied. It was best if he didn't know exactly where he was yet. While Saeyoung must've been relieved to have his brother back, she knew it wasn't going to be the easiest of times trying to get him to stay with them. At least until the truth was cleared up.

"You wake up and find you're rescued," Vanderwood said. "So lucky, no?"

Saeran's eyes fell on Vanderwood and Saeyoung behind her. "Why are they together? What happened?"

The last question seemed to be directed more at Vanderwood than her. When did they get so chummy?

"Oh…I betrayed the agency and ran away with your brother and sister-in-law. We're still on the run."

"Sister-in-law?" the twins burst at the same time. Saeyoung seemed pleased, while Saeran turned to MC with an almost betrayed expression.

"You turned out even more useless than I thought," he sneered.

"I was never yours to use, Saeran," she replied calmly. He obviously didn't appreciate the answer, letting out an annoyed huff.

He targeted his glare towards Vanderwood and Saeyoung before scanning the cabin frantically. "Where are my things?"

"Probably with the agency," Vanderwood replied nonchalantly, continuing to type away at the keyboard. He glanced up at Saeyoung, still stretched out across from him. "What was that last bit—hey, are you crying?"

MC let out a frustrated groan and pinched the bridge of her nose. Gosh, he could be too blunt sometimes. Saeyoung rubbed his eyes on his arm, turning a bit red.

Vanderwood awkwardly cleared his throat, thankfully realizing his mistake. "But…I talked with the kid a bit when I kidnapped him. He's seriously furious with you. What the hell did you guys fight about? He seemed to think of you as his arch enemy."

MC let out a strained chuckle. It seemed as if both Choi brothers could be dramatic at times. Saeyoung kept staring at his twin as if unsure if he were really there or not. "There was a misunderstanding," he said, though his voice was distant.

Saeran snorted, opting to stand up. MC grabbed his arm when he began teetering sideways. "Take it easy, will you?" she said. "The drugs haven't worn off yet."

He roughly yanked his arm away. "My computer…" he mumbled, his bleary eyes darting all over the place. "It isn't here."

MC narrowed her eyes. She doubted he was going to help them so readily. "Why?" she said. "What do you want to do?"

He turned to her, his lips curling into a snarl. "What do you think I want to do?"

"Saeran," Saeyoung's voice interjected before his brother could say more. "Can we talk?"

"I have nothing to say to you."

MC inwardly winced watching Saeyoung's face fall. A single tear rolled down his cheek as his brother's name left his lips in barely a whisper.

Saeran stumbled forward a few steps. "Hey kidnapper, I feel like I'm suffocating. I need some fresh air."

"Go ahead," Saeyoung said, surprising even MC.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she spluttered, sending an apologetic glance towards Saeran. He was too absorbed in his own thoughts to respond to her…implied accusations.

"Agreed," Vanderwood said. "What if he runs away?"

"Even he goes out, he won't be able to do anything," Saeyoung argued. He turned to Saeran. "Right?"

The younger twin gave no answer. With reluctance, Vanderwood agreed, giving him a few subtle threats about the satellite outside and a cigarette before Saeran rushed out. MC couldn't quell the uneasiness settling in her stomach.

"I don't think we should've done that," she said once the door had shut.

"He's fine," Saeyoung replied.

Feeling slightly annoyed at his dismissive tone—which she knew was just a cover up for his hurt- but not knowing how to deal with it at the moment, she returned to her untouched noodles left on the small corner table. She tuned out Vanderwood and Saeyoung once more, pushing around her food with her chopsticks.

Her stomach curdled at the thought of eating, even if she hadn't eaten since breakfast. She set the food aside and leaned back on the chair. Her eyes fell on Saeran who was leaning casually against one of the posts, blowing smoke from his mouth. He probably hadn't eaten at all for the past day or longer.

With a soft sigh, she stood and grabbed her sweatshirt. Keeping a careful eye on Vanderwood and Saeyoung, she quietly took the noodles and slipped outside. She knew her boyfriend would check on her in about ten minutes, but that should be enough time to at least clear her head. She agreed with Saeran…it was slightly suffocating inside at the moment.

She cautiously released the doorknob after the backdoor closed so as to not make a sound.

"You're sneaky for someone who boldly barged into a stranger's apartment."

The sudden voice made her jump, spilling a bit of the hot broth on her hand. Biting back a swear, she wiped the liquid on her legs. She offered the noodles to Saeran. "You're probably starving," she said.

"I'm not hungry," he said, his turquoise eyes shifting to the open forest. Gosh, he sounded just like Saeyoung. Lucky for her, and unlucky for Saeran, she already had experience with a Choi refusing to accept meals.

"I didn't say you were," she retorted. "I said you were probably starving. I bet the agency didn't exactly feed you well—or you just refused the food. So, please eat before I force this food down your throat."

Her boldness surprised even herself. It seemed like the past few weeks had put her more on edge. She was embarrassed by her outburst, but she didn't take it back. Saeran hesitantly reached out for the cup, letting the remains of his cigarette slip from his fingers onto the dirt. "So, the kitten has claws."

She rolled her eyes and leaned on the post across from him. "We just got you back. Wouldn't want you fainting on the way out."

Her conjectures were correct, and after a few hesitant bites, Saeran was practically inhaling the food. She took the opportunity to observe him while he was unguarded.

What she knew from Saeyoung was that Saeran was kind once…sweet, innocent, and trusting. If she was being honest, it was hard to believe him after all their encounters with the younger twin so far. But now, his mask was dropped revealing a scared young man. His face was hard, maybe. His lips constantly wearing a scowl. But his eyes….there was still some innocence behind the cold stares.

He physically flinched when he reached the bottom of the cup. He wiped his lips on the edge of his sleeve and set the empty container by his feet. "Thanks," he mumbled.

MC blinked, and he tilted his head, that hallow smile taking its place on his lips. "What? Did you not think I had simple manners?"

"Sorry," she said. "I suppose we just don't have a good history."

"No?" he said. He clicked his tongue. "I don't know. I thought we hit it off pretty well when we first chatted. Remember? I had darker hair in the picture I sent you."

His wink sent chills down her spine. There was no warmth in the gesture. She crossed her arms, shifting her weight on her feet. She remembered that photo. For some reason, the boy with dark hair and green eyes seemed to validate the whole story enough for her to go to Rika's apartment.

The next few minutes were long and awkward. He seemed to be studying her, absorbing her every feature as if calculating his next move. To be fair, she had done the same to him, so she said nothing. Still, he was one of the reasons why she was pulled into the whole mess. He had very nearly kidnapped her. Why could she never be cautious when it came to him?

"So," Saeran sighed. For once, his voice sounded normal and not eerily high-pitched. "I'm kidnapped by his agency, and that traitor decides to run off and marry you. Though, I'm not surprised. He's abandoned me before."

MC exhaled slowly, something akin to a laugh escaping in the process. "We're not married, Saeran."

"What?" he said.

She raised both hands. "See. No ring. Not even engaged!" she shot him a soft smile. "Saeyoung wouldn't leave you behind to further his own life. I wouldn't ask him to."

Saeran ruffled his hair. Confusion clouded his darting eyes as he tried to look anywhere but at her. "No? He's done it before. He has how many cars? And friends—and he's obviously brainwashed you. If it wasn't for my savior, I would probably be a starved corpse in some back ally."

He grew angrier with every word until his breaths came out ragged, and he grasped his chest. MC watched in silence as he tried to pull himself together, muttering things under his breath and taking deep breaths.

"There's been a huge mistake, Saeran," she said finally, when she was sure he was calm. "But you need to talk to him. Just give him a chance."

He threw his head back, a gravelly chuckle bubbling from his throat. "I don't make the same mistake twice. Trusting him…waiting for him…that was a mistake."

A gust of wind blew hard against the cabin. MC pulled her sweatshirt tighter around her shivering frame. Saeran tried to do the same but seemed to refuse to cover up his tattoo. Without thinking, she reached out and pulled his jacket over his shoulder.

He stepped back at her touch, only finding his back hitting the wooden pole behind him. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Why are you here anyway? I thought you would've left by now."

MC nodded. "Any sane person would," she admitted. "But I'm not sane. If I were, I would've deleted your messages from the start."

"Hmm," he said. "When I chose you, you didn't seem like the loyal type."

MC shoved her fingers in her pocket. She propped her foot on the pole and leaned back, trying to appear more casual than she felt. So, he did choose her. Much like what Saeyoung did when she first entered the chat, Saeran probably looked through her records, did a thorough background check, studied her personality. Even now, the way he was staring at her made her feel exposed and vulnerable. What was worse…she didn't even know how much he knew. "Why did you choose me?" she asked. She said it so quietly, she didn't think he heard.

"You were alone," he shrugged, his eyes tracing the stars glittering above them. "It didn't matter if you had friends…I could see that you were alone. Aren't we all, in the end?"

MC swallowed, denying it in her head, but knowing he was absolutely right. She had nothing left to lose. That's why she stayed in the apartment with a bomb. That's why she fought so tirelessly for Saeyoung. That's why she was standing in front of someone who nearly kidnapped her a few weeks before.

"Oh?" she finally choked out. She clenched her fingers together in a fist. "But you weren't any different right? You would have used me to infiltrate the RFA and then left?"

He didn't reply. MC let out a shaky breath. This was a bad idea. Saeran didn't know her…she didn't know him. The only thing they had in common was Saeyoung, and he wasn't here. She couldn't reach him alone.

She rubbed her eyes, suddenly feeling very tired from the day's trip, and made a step towards the door. A hand shot out past her, blocking her way. Her heart slammed against her ribs as the thought that he might try to kidnap her again passed through her mind.

"I wouldn't have left," Saeran said with conviction. "I don't leave people. I would've taken you to Paradise. In fact, I still can if you want. I'm not Saeyoung. I'm a much better person than him."

His voice was low, in a whisper, but it didn't mask the acidity behind each word spoken about his brother. He said his name as if it were a curse.

MC took a deep breath and faced him. No matter how much her hands were shaking, she would meet his gaze. "Saeran…" she began. Her words died on her tongue when she saw his tears threatening to fall. His breathing became shallow once more, and there was a desperation behind those mint eyes that clawed at her chest.

He was screaming for help.

It was in that moment that MC realized she was falling in love with him. Not in the way she fell for Saeyoung. Her affections towards Saeran weren't that of a lover. But rather…a brother. She had accepted him as soon as she accepted Saeyoung. It was more of an obligation and sense of duty. But now…she tied herself to him, promising to do what she could to help save him. In that moment, he was no longer her lover's brother…he was her family. Could she reach him? She didn't know…but she was going to try.

He let his hand fall to his side and took a step back from her at the same moment the door swung open, revealing Saeyoung cradling his arm against his chest. His eyes briefly met Saeran's before shifting to MC. "Why did you leave?" he asked, his usual protectiveness creating the familiar sharpness of tongue.

She tore her eyes from Saeran and shot him a smile. "I was just getting some air and making sure Saeran ate."

Saeyoung eyed the empty cup in her hand. He didn't say anything, but she could tell he was relieved his brother had accepted it. "Ah, that's good," he said. "But you should get inside now. It's not safe to be out for too long—and it's cold."

"I won't argue with you there," MC replied, stepping inside.

Saeyoung turned to his brother. "You too, Saeran?"

The white-haired boy gritted his teeth and pushed past him. Saeyoung's eyes watched him, even as he plopped sulkily on the couch in the corner. He turned to MC. "Did he—um—talk?"

She bit her lip. She knew the fact would pain Saeyoung. He had been trying to speak to his brother over and over…and yet, Saeran had spoken to her more than once, and even Vanderwood had spoken to him. Her denial was on the edge of her lips. She didn't want to hurt him. She couldn't.

But he had been lied to all his life, hadn't he? She couldn't betray that trust…even over something so small. "Y-yeah," she admitted. "A little. But, I couldn't convince him. I'm sorry."

Saeyoung's eyes met hers. How long would that sadness linger there? She wished he could be happy for once…truly happy. He sighed and chuckled softly. "I suppose it'll take time," he said.

MC nodded, giving his hand a small squeeze.

"We need to stay inside from now on," Saeyoung said. "We'll leave tomorrow morning, but we all need sleep."

"How about keeping watch?" MC asked.

"Vanderwood is setting up alarms outside now," he explained. He gripped her arm with his good hand. "You look tired."

She couldn't deny it. "Yeah," she forced. "Maybe I should get some sleep."

He nodded, turning towards the kitchen. MC grabbed his wrist, pulling him closer. "And Saeyoung," she said so only he could hear. "You'll get to your brother soon."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah?" he said, disbelief tainting his voice and betraying his doubts. "Why do you think so?"

"Because you're family," she shrugged. "He'll realize it sooner or later. You need each other."

He didn't reply. MC wasn't sure if it was because he didn't trust his own voice at the moment or if he just had nothing to say. She could see the battle within him written clearly on his face. He was still struggling with guilt and hurt, and it would take more than a few encouraging words to heal that. She knew that.

But now…now she had seen both of the twins in their rawest forms. And she already made her decision. She was resolved to help them—no matter the cost to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Saeyoung...c'mon Saeran, be niceeee. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thank you so much for reading. As always, love to hear from everyone. See you very soon~
> 
> OH! Tiny promo: Two friends of mine have recently opened a tumblr for their cute lil Mystic Messenger comics. They've offered to do a few fluffy scenes from this series sometime soon (so sweet of them), so if you want to check them out, you can see their tumblr at this username: hobi-buddha-buns


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins have a rough night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday, everyone~ Hope you've had a wonderful week and a good Valentine's Day! I still haven't recovered from the DLC...hehehe. Anyway, here's some feels-I mean a new chapter for you. Enjoy~
> 
> Trigger Warning: Themes of child abuse, panic attacks, and post trauma stress are within this chapter. If you think these might trigger you, please proceed accordingly. I'm not sure the level of it is that high, but I would rather be safe than sorry for readers who might get triggered by it. :)

It was a rough battle for Saeyoung to push against his own mind and fight against the blurred, fevered dreams. He finally won, surging into consciousness, but he wasn't thrilled at the reason for his waking. He blinked a few times, forcing his mind to focus and his eyes to adjust to the dim light. He could barely see, but there was no mistaking the screams that hammered into his brain.

"S-Saeran," he mumbled. It was night. Right…Their mother was out, getting drunk, and Saeran was tied up to the chair. He could just untie him for a few hours, right? Why did his arm hurt? Oh…his mother had beaten him earlier for giving Saeran food. He hadn't eaten all day though…poor Saeran.

He pushed off his blanket. "Saeran, please don't cry. I'll help."

The shouting didn't stop. In fact, there were more voices joining in now. A deep voice…and a woman's voice. Oh, no…was his mother home? No…the woman calling his name sounded kind. Not harsh. But Saeyoung couldn't think of that now. He had to free Saeran before their mother returned.

He could make out his twin's blurred figure in the darkness. He reached out the hand that didn't hurt and touched his brother's arm. He found himself forcefully shoved backwards onto the floor. Pain shot up his shoulder, snapping something in his brain.

Now very lucid, Saeyoung had realized his mistake.

"Get away from me!" Saeran shouted. "You—you—get away from me!"

The cabin—not home. Saeran…was pushing him away. Tears were rushing down his brother's face at an alarming speed, and the yelling continued. There was so much terror in his eyes…a look normally reserved for their mother. Did he think Saeyoung was going to hurt him?

He gritted his teeth, aware of Vanderwood pulling him up to his feet, but fighting against him all the same. He pushed the older man aside, stumbling towards Saeran.

"Saeran, it's me," he said. "It's Saeyoung! I-I'm here to help you."

His twin grasped his white hair in his thin fingers, curling into a fetal position on the ground. "N-no, you're not. No, he's not. Saeyoung abandoned me. Saeyoung doesn't care about me. He's the traitor."

He muttered it several times, almost chanting. Then, he shut his eyes, gripped his head, and screamed. For a few moments, Saeyoung was speechless.

"Saeran, w-what's wrong?" he finally asked, forcing his voice to remain steady, no matter how much panic surged through ever fiber of his body. It was difficult to speak over his brother's crazed shouting, but he had to get through to him. "Just tell me! I can—"

He placed a hand on Saeran's arm, and he escalated in volume and hysterics. He was barely taking breaths; Saeyoung feared he would turn blue soon. He quickly withdrew his touch. Was Saeran in pain? Had he been wounded earlier? Was there some other form of torture he was going through?

A lump formed in Saeyoung's throat. Confusion mixed with panic did not bode well, and in his brain, everything was chaos. His tongue fell back into his old mantra from childhood, speaking words of courage and happier days. They fell on deaf ears as Saeran denied every syllable with vehement curses. Nothing he used to say worked.

"MC, get Seven away from him!" Vanderwood called, trying to force the boys apart.

Saeyoung was faintly aware of MC's hand on his arm, pulling him back. "N-no," he stammered, unsure if he was heard over his brother's shrieks. He cursed his inability to use one arm. It made him defenseless against MC, pushing him to the kitchen.

Once he was free of her grasp, he charged himself towards the living room. She blocked his way out. "Saeyoung, don't—"

He tried stepping past her, but she placed a hand on his chest and shoved him back. "Let me through!" he snapped.

"I can't," she said. Her eyes sparkled in determination, and he knew it would be a fight. He still needed to try.

"He's—he's—" The truth of the matter was that Saeyoung wasn't sure what was wrong with Saeran. But those cries were shredding his heart to pieces. "I need to help him."

MC held him at bay, restricting his access every time he tried to make an escape. Anger and frustration continued to build within him at every failed attempt. He just needed to see what was going on.

"Vanderwood is taking care of it. Just calm down, Saeyoung!"

"No, I need to help him."

Hot tears spilled over onto his face as he kept insisting to see Saeran. He wasn't even sure what was spewing out of his mouth anymore. Soon enough, his earnest pleas were melding together with Saeran's howls. Desperation clawed at his brain, and his voice was growing hoarser by the moment. Why wouldn't they let him through?

"Saeyoung, stop it!" MC said, finally cracking and raising her voice.

"No!" he shouted. "He's my brother. _My_ brother! I'm supposed to help him! Why is Vanderwood taking care of him?"

He didn't care how bitter he sounded. He was. Jealousy interlaced with disappointment inside his chest. MC had spoken to him too. Saeran opened up to her within a moment, whereas he would barely speak a sentence to Saeyoung who had tirelessly worked for a better life for him. He was trying.

"It's not fair," he spat out, surprised when his voice faltered.

He was trembling so badly now, his legs wobbled beneath him. MC slowly guided him backwards until his back hit the wall. She pushed down on his shoulders, effectively causing him to slide to the floor.

"Let me through," he choked, leaning forward.

"No," she said firmly, trying to meet his eyes. She was only a whirl of colors anyway. Saeyoung was glad, because it gave him the willpower to keep fighting. If he would've been able to see her…he wouldn't have been able to refuse.

"I don't care what you say—what Vanderwood says—he's my brother and something is wrong and—mmf!"

His words were abruptly cut off when MC crashed her lips onto his.

For a few intense heartbeats, everything was in discord. His mind…his emotions…all of it in disarray. Then the smell of lavender and vanilla reached his nose, and everything stopped. His brain reset, bringing him back to his senses. His thoughts streamed in a linear fashion once more.

"Calm down," she mumbled against his lips. "He's going to be okay. Just breathe."

When she pulled away, Saeyoung exhaled slowly. MC's brought his knuckles to her lips. "Hey, it's okay," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he rasped, suddenly ashamed of all of his thoughts. He yanked his hand out of hers and rubbed his face. It was still damp…from sweat or tears, he wasn't sure.

Saeran had stopped shouting, but his quiet sobs could still be heard from the adjacent room. Saeyoung ground his teeth together, forcing himself to remain calm. He kept his hand covered over his face.

"I made him worse, didn't I?" he asked when the crying had finally stopped.

MC's silence was enough of an answer. But, he wanted to hear it. It would break him, but he deserved it, didn't he? Saeran was right. He left….he knew better, but he still left. How could he be so selfish now? He deserved to be hated.

"I did, didn't I?" he repeated. No…they made each other worse. Saeyoung hadn't dreamt of his past in almost five years. Did they unlock that torturous part of each other?

"Saeyoung," MC said, gently taking his hand once again. She inhaled, as if preparing to say something, but they were interrupted when the light flooded the kitchen.

Vanderwood loomed over them, holding Saeyoung's glasses out to him. The latter gratefully took it, placing it over his now swollen eyes. His face heated under the older man's gaze. He and Vanderwood had been through a lot…but he never showed his emotional side. Emotions were discouraged anyway, but still…Saeyoung felt odd that he was there.

"He'll be fine," Vanderwood informed. "He fell back asleep."

"What happened, exactly?" MC asked.

The ex-agent sighed, leaning back onto the counter. "He was abused as a child, no? Someone doesn't get over that easily. I suspect he's going through withdrawals of some kind as well. Medicine…drugs…something. He had a few of those spells while the agency held him hostage."

Saeyoung furrowed his brows. "What?" he managed to say, despite his throat being scraped raw from his outburst. "B-before?"

Vanderwood nodded solemnly. "Yeah. But not as bad."

"How'd you know how to calm him down?"

Saeyoung knew his envy was seeping into his words, but he had no energy to feel any remorse. Vanderwood's gaze drifted to him, meeting him directly in the eyes. "I have some prior experience," he said.

He was confused for a moment. MC turned to him, her eyes wide. Was Vanderwood implying…? Saeyoung's mouth fell open. "Wh-what?" he breathed. "I used to—I don't—"

"You wouldn't remember," he said abruptly. "It was only in the first year of you joining the agency. I remember one of the other handlers explaining that there was a kid who got abused once that showed the same symptoms. They reconditioned him, and that was the end. I recognized the same signs in you."

"But I was never reconditioned," Saeyoung said.

"I know."

The older man cleared his throat after a few tense moments of Saeyoung gaping at him. " I'll double check the perimeters in case anyone heard the commotion. Maybe get in a quick smoke."

The air was thick with silence. Saeyoung was trying to wrap his mind around what Vanderwood had just revealed. He knew he had struggled with sleeping in those early days…his sleep schedule had always revolved around his mother's shenanigans. Still…he never remembered Vanderwood being there when he had night terrors or panic attacks. He always assumed he went through it alone, imagining that calm voice in his desperation to sleep.

More so…he never told the agency. The process of reconditioning was painful; Saeyoung had heard horror stories. Mental training and reconditioning was necessary to any agent who showed weakness. Vanderwood was the one who saved him from it? But why?

MC's gentle touch jolted him out of his spiral of thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"I…" Saeyoung began. He took a few breaths, letting his back hit the wall once again.

"Do you need some time alone?" she asked, hesitancy lacing her words.

"No," he replied emphatically. He reached out for her hand. Instead of taking it, she ducked into the inside of his arm and curled against his side. One of her arms snaked across his chest as she laid her head on his shoulder.

She was cool against his burning skin…the ice to his fire, essentially. His fingers tapped against her arm…an old habit from hacking. He used to do it when his mind was stuck on a problem. Ha…he would take a computer problem over this any day.

"What are you thinking?" MC asked, breaking the silence.

He wasn't sure himself. His brain was a bit scattered, shaken by Saeran's outbreak and Vanderwood's confession. To add on to it, his arm was throbbing due to the whole commotion. His mind wandered back to Saeran, and the whole scene replayed in his head a dozen times before he finally spoke.

"Did you see the way Saeran looked at me?" Saeyoung said. He didn't think he would ever be able to get that image out of his head. He could bear it if he had met his brother's eyes and seen anger…frustration…even hate. But fear?

"He wasn't in his right mind at the time," MC said, squeezing him a bit tighter.

"You were right before, I think," he said, his voice sounding empty and distant even to himself. "He doesn't hate me. He's scared of me. He's putting me in the same category as…her."

MC suddenly bolted upwards, her eyes glaring. "Stop it."

Her words were not the ones he expected. He barely has the energy to scoff. "Stop what?"

"Don't you dare, Saeyoung," she said, her voice growing both tense and softer. "You're not your mother. You didn't hurt him intentionally, and more than that, you were lied to. You did all this to help him."

"Will it be enough for him?" he sighed, his eyes drifting to the wall.

MC grabbed his chin and brought his face back to hers. "There is bullet wound in your arm right now as a testament of how much you care. Of how much you are trying to fix this mess that was never your fault to begin with."

Saeyoung's lips parted in a dazed silence for a few moments before curling into a half-hearted smile. He had doubts…about himself and the whole situation. But MC always seemed to be able to ground him when his thoughts wandered too far. "Thank you," he mumbled.

For a few moments, they stared into each other's eyes, as if searching for the strength neither one of them could provide in words. Saeyoung had always seen these sorts of things in movies, and the characters would always describe it as time slowing down and their worries melting away into their fantasies. That wasn't true. Time was ticking, and he was aware of it. And the world was not turning into a beautiful story…it was still harsh and cruel and very much a part of their narrative. But just having her there, peering into the depths of him and accepting everything—the good and the flawed—it made it bearable.

"MC," he began, his eyes wandered to the floor. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" she asked before letting out a tiny yawn. He gently tugged on her arm so she was once again resting against his side. He let his fingers comb through her soft locks.

"You reach people," he explained. "You reach them deeply."

"I do?" she said groggily, a small giggle escaping her lips. She grew so silent, he thought she had fallen asleep. Then she sighed and nuzzled her face against his chest. "I think you just can't give up. It' simple, but I think after awhile people doubt whether or not their efforts are doing anything, because they don't see how far they're reaching. Then they quit. I always thought it would be really sad if I had quit when I was just about to break through to them."

Saeyoung hummed, a contented smile resting on his lips. "When did you get so wise?"

"I've always been this wise," she retorted. "It didn't come up in the background check?"

He let out a strangled laugh. He sat there until her breathing slowed and her temperature rose. He nudged her softly with his shoulder. "As much as I would love to carry you, I can't. So get back to the couch before we're both stuck on the floor all night."

"But you're comfy," she replied, clutching tighter to his shirt.

Saeyoung barely had time to think of a comeback when a flash of white and red ran past them into the bathroom. He winced as Saeran violently wretched out whatever he had eaten that day. He had a tendency to do the same after a particularly bad nightmare.

At this point, MC had gotten up too, though not completely cognizant. "Is he okay?" she frowned.

Saeyoung chewed on his bottom lip, his attention completely stuck on the closed bathroom door. Saeran seemed so thin, and he probably hadn't eaten much. What in the world was he throwing up?

"Just go back to sleep," Saeyoung said, turning to MC. "I can handle this."

Her eyes narrowed as she shot him a skeptical glance. "Be careful."

"You'll be right there if anything happens," he placated. She reluctantly stood and made her way back to the couch. Meanwhile, Saeyoung found his backpack amongst their mostly packed equipment. Careful not to wake Vanderwood, who had returned at some point in the past few minutes, he retrieved a few pieces of ginger candy and a water bottle from the front pouch. He returned to the kitchen and waited.

His heart was racing, and adrenaline was rushing through his limbs. He was unsure if this was the right thing to do. What if Saeran had another fit? No…MC was right. He had to keep trying. It seemed like hours later when Saeran emerged. He stumbled forward in a dazed fashion, leaning on the counter for stability.

"You okay?" Saeyoung asked, making his presence known.

His brother recoiled at the sudden voice. He recovered quickly, redirecting his glare towards Saeyoung. The latter fought back the ache that threatened to resurface. Instead, he gestured to the candy he placed on the counter. No doubt Saeran didn't want to touch him…so he would approach him slowly…gradually.

The younger twin reached with shaky fingers and snatched one. Saeyoung impressed even himself when he remained composed despite the small feeling of victory rushing through his veins. Saeran worked at removing the wrapper.

"Ginger always worked for me when I used to have nightmares that bad," Saeyoung said. "I thought it might help."

Saeran's hands froze for a few moments. He opened his mouth and inhaled, and for a hopeful second, Saeyoung thought he would speak. But the moment never came. He finished unwrapping the candy and popped it in his mouth.

"Y-you should really get some water too," Saeyoung said, taking a step forward in his eagerness. His confidence was plummeting drastically at every one of Saeran's emotionless stares.

His twin stood in place, his hand still resting on the counter. It wasn't until his fingers drummed against the surface did Saeyoung realize he was accepting the advice. He fumbled around for the bottle and held it out to him. His face grew warm when he noticed it was unopened. He held it out to his brother.

"Sorry, I can't open it," he mumbled, jerking his chin towards the bandages on his arm. Saeran yanked it from his hands and twisted it open.

"Useless," he muttered. After a few sips, he recapped it and slid it back to him. before walking back to his spot in the living room. His gait was more stable this time.

Saeyoung stretched out his stiff fingers and exhaled slowly. That went….okay. His heart rate steadied after the comforting thought, and weariness crashed over him. He was barely aware of himself as he trudged into the living room, pressing one last kiss to MC's cheek and casting one last glance at his brother curled up in the corner.

He lay down on the opposite side of the couch, pulling the blankets over his legs. It took him a few seconds to recap the ordeal. He began to doubt that it actually happened. He was sure he would wake up in a second. His brother hadn't actually spoken to him…but it was a start.

As sleep began to overtake him, he continued to think through the events of the night. His brother turned hot and cold within a few minutes. Maybe he was just reading him wrong. Maybe he should be more hopeful. The hard part was over, right? Saeyoung should have been ecstatic. So, why did something feel terribly off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnd that's a wrap for this week. :) Hope you all are well, eating three meals a day, taking your vitamins, and getting lots of rest. As always, feel free to leave a comment to share your thoughts or initiate a chat. I will be responding to you throughout the week. :) See you soon~


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything seems fine...and then it really isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating late, I knowwww. I'm sorry! My schedule was a bit messed up this week, and besides that, this chapter nearly ripped out my soul. I had 80% of it written on Thursday night, but...it just didn't feel right for some reason. So, I tried rewriting it like four times, until I finally just decided it would be more appropriate from Saeyoung's POV. MC will get a few back to back chapters in the future, so it'll even out...but the events of this chapter...just felt more crucial for Saeyoung than her. Anyway, I'll shut up now. I hope you agree with my decision...Enjoy!

Saeyoung never had the luxury of sleeping long, so it was no big deal when Vanderwood woke him shortly after dawn to continue hacking into the agency. The job would have been easier if he could type, but since he had to dictate his part of the job to Vanderwood, it was taking longer than he would have liked. Already, they had been at it for two hours with something he could have finished in less than one.

Vanderwood once again scolded him for going too fast. Saeyoung rolled his eyes and waited for the man to type. He rested the side of his head on the couch. His eyes fell on a huge bundle of blankets across from him. Vanderwood insisted that it had gotten colder when the fire went out and neither MC nor Saeran could get sick. It would hinder them, he had said.

While Saeran had shoved them off immediately before retreating to one corner of the cabin, MC was still unaware. Rather than fight his ex-supervisor, Saeyoung tugged one of the blankets off while Vanderwood's head was turned.

He shoved his bangs out of his face and sighed. "Vanderwood, you're still not done?"

"Shut up and let me work," the man hissed.

When Saeyoung glanced back at the bundle, he was met with a pair of bleary eyes and disheveled hair. He bit his lip in an attempt not to laugh. "You're awake."

She unceremoniously shoved the blankets to the floor. "I know I get annoying, babe, but were you trying to kill me?"

He clicked his tongue. "That was Vanderwood. He gave me this whole lecture on how you were cold and needed to be covered, and how I didn't know a thing about protecting a woman. I told him you'd hate it."

He twisted his face into a silly scowl, trying to imitate the ex-agent who had begun his reasoning with feigned annoyance. MC's mouth curled into a sleepy smile. "I appreciate the gesture, but I don't think more than two blankets are necessary on normal occasions," she said. "Anyway, is Vanderwood implying he has experience in protecting women?"

"Oh!" Saeyoung gasped. "Plot twist. Can we unlock Vanderwood's dark and secret past?"

MC shook her head and sighed. "I don't think you have enough of his likeability points, Saeyoung."

"What a tragedy! His route would've been interesting."

Vanderwood cleared his throat, casting them a glance askance. "If you two are finished, please get ready to move when we need to."

MC chuckled before excusing herself. Saeyoung watched her go before grabbing his cup of coffee and attempting to swallow the bitter drink. He hated coffee really. He preferred the sweet taste of Ph.D. Pepper. But, he needed extra caffeine to snap him into his senses after last night's ordeal.

The memory brought his attention to his brother. Saeran sat in the corner, his arm propped on his knee. The cup of coffee Saeyoung had given him sat untouched near his leg. He wasn't sure whether it was because his brother also hated coffee or because he seemed to refuse almost anything he offered. Saeran barely met his eyes before fixing his own on the door. The intensity in his stare created an uneasy knot in Saeyoung's stomach. Was he going to try to make a run for it?

He realized with increasing guilt that he didn't even know whether Saeran knew how to drive. He assumed not, since the boy hadn't made an aim for the car yet. Rather, the fact that Saeran hadn't made any attempts to escape simultaneously filled him with hope and suspicion.

Vanderwood snapped his fingers, jolting Saeyoung's focus back to the matter at hand. "Hey, I found the archives," he said. "It looks like they're onto us and updating the security soon."

Saeyoung nodded, committing a few of the numbers on the screen to memory. "Retrieve the exact times. We'll move out while their server is down. I'll make sure MC is ready."

He didn't give the man a chance to say more. He pushed his laptop to the side and stood from the couch. MC had apparently retreated into the kitchen once she had changed. She stared blankly into her cup of instant coffee. She held a pastry to her lips, but seemed to have only taken a bite.

His chest tightened when she put the pastry down and rubbed a hand over her weary face. He hesitantly stepped behind her. His good arm slid around her waist. She stiffened until he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"We're going to leave soon," he said, pressing a light kiss to her shoulder.

MC nodded, nibbling at her pastry before offering him a bite. He accepted, glad to rid his mouth of the aftertaste of coffee.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

He gave her an ambiguous grunt before he buried his face in the crook of her neck. She seemed to be leaning against him more than usual. Normally, he held her delicately, scared that she might shatter like glass under his destructive fingers. But today, he held her frame a little tighter. He could practically feel the exhaustion rolling off her in waves.

Her fingers feathered through his hair when he didn't answer, pulling out a few tangles in the process. Saeyoung let out a heavy sigh and shut his eyes. His lack of sleep was catching up to him as well. "It's almost over," he mumbled, to himself as well as to her.

To his dismay, she pulled herself back to face him. "And your arm?" she said.

He frowned when he found she was pulling his sleeve up to inspect it. For a moment, he swore he didn't even feel her fingers.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head, attempting to wiggle his fingers. A twinge of apprehension twisted in his gut when a few fingers stiffened against his will. "Nothing," he lied. "Just a bit sore from not moving them."

She didn't seem to buy it. "I'm texting Jumin as soon as we're in the clear. You need to go to the hospital. But for now, take some pain killers before we leave—especially if we end up on a bumpy road."

He didn't disagree and left to obey before she questioned him further. He rummaged through their bags, procuring the meds and taking them. More than for the pain, he hoped they might calm his jittery nerves. Something was making him restless and eager to leave the place sooner than later.

He helped Vanderwood and MC as much as he could with cleaning and packing. But in the end, they forced him to wait by the door. With his arm throbbing as it was, he didn't protest for long.

At last, MC joined him, placing one last bag of equipment in the pile. Saeyoung scanned around the cabin, checking for anything left behind. It seemed that Vanderwood had put away all the blankets back to wherever in the world he found them. There was no trace of any dishes or water bottles. The cabin looked as abandoned as they found it, save for a few streaks on the furniture where the dust had come off. The agency might be suspicious if they inspected the place, but they would probably be more concerned about their moving targets.

Saeyoung gently pulled on his hoodie. "Do you have all your things?" he asked.

MC bit her lip and patted down her pockets. "Yeah," she replied, hesitating for a moment. "But I don't feel so good about this."

Saeyoung tensed. He lowered his voice. "About what?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just have this bad feeling."

He held a breath before slowly exhaling from his mouth. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. "That's not good, because neither do I," he muttered.

"Neither do I!" the small cat robot chirped from near one of their bags.

MC and Saeyoung exchanged uneasy glances. He crouched down to the robot cat. He had nearly forgotten that it was on while they were fleeing. "Then, I should check my weapons again," he said, picking up Meowy. "Robot cat, switch to battery saving mode."

He handed MC the robot while he continued to search through their things. He double-checked that his favorite pistol was loaded. He placed it and Vanderwood's preferred gun at the top.

"I assume you two have a plan?" MC asked.

Vanderwood joined them, tapping around on his electronic pad. Saeyoung stood, leaning back against the couch. "Yeah, we found some logs. The agency is tracking us like crazy. And they're upgrading their whole security system, as we found out this morning. The next update starts in one hour sharp and lasts for two hours sharp, right?"

Vanderwood nodded. "Right. I checked, and found it was signed by the chief-so it's real."

Saeyoung turned to MC. "Meanwhile, we're going to get out of here and go to Jumin."

"Okay," Vanderwood said, slipping the device back into the bag. "So, with the way she drives, we have to leave…around twenty eight minutes from now. We'll definitely make it by then—if not earlier."

Saeyoung smirked slightly when MC made an exasperated noise. He couldn't help the pride that welled in his chest. MC might have been almost as crazy as he was on the road. How she learned to drive like that…He wasn't sure he wanted to know, but it was a skill that had come in handy. Also, he would be lying if he said he didn't find it mildly attractive.

MC shifted her focus to Saeran who was still sitting in the corner, despite knowing they were leaving. "He hasn't said anything all morning?"

"No," Vanderwood replied. "He doesn't seem too willing. Are you sure we just can't take him with us?"

Saeyoung didn't miss Vanderwood's implications—or the emphasis on the word "take." The red-head glared. "I don't want to drug my brother again."

"He'll come," MC added. She touched his shoulder. "You just need to talk to him. You can't explain everything now, but…he can't stay here alone."

His gaze softened when he glanced at his brother. MC was optimistic as always, but her words didn't energize him now. The surge of confidence he had the night before had been lost in the time that past. Talking to Saeran was like speaking to a broken robot. The input was received, but the output was unresponsive. "I…don't know how to approach him right now."

Vanderwood scoffed. "I wouldn't even want to talk to him if I were you. You both are strange. No wonder you're brothers."

Because Saeyoung deserved to be ignored. He had no right to be spoken to…but he was so desperate to mend things. His feet seemed to think for themselves as they dragged along the ground towards his twin. He stopped a few feet away, making sure to keep a good distance between them. "Saeran," he began, his hands finding their way into his pockets. His mind scrambled for something natural. Not that it mattered. Their time was running out. "A-are you hurt anywhere?"

"Just leave me alone," came the dismissive reply.

Saeyoung's gaze fell to the ground. "I know you're misunderstanding things about me. Someday, you'll know the truth…You'll know that it was V and not me all along—"

Saeran interrupted with mirthless laugh. "You always like to give excuses so you're never the one to blame."

"Guess he's answering now," Vanderwood said.

Was that what Saeran thought? Finding his voice, Saeyoung set his shoulders and looked up at his brother. "I would have never left you if I knew this would happen…Never."

He was met with a blank stare. Words continued to fumble out of his mouth. Why did he always need to fill the silence between them? Knowing none of them worked, Saeyoung sighed. "I know we can go back to how we were," he said finally. "We got through so many things by relying on each other."

Apparently those were the wrong words. Saeran's emotionless features contorted into anger. "I don't want to hear anymore," he said through gritted teeth. "Just shut up!"

Saeyoung flinched when Saeran jumped to his feet. He grimaced when a spasm jolted through his arm. MC rushed forward, obviously creating a barrier between them. "Is your arm okay? It's not bleeding, but you should get out of here and go to the hospital."

He couldn't even deny it at that point. Just as he was about to apologize to Saeran, someone knocked at the door. There was a moment of thick silence as if none of them actually believed they heard it. Then there was another set of knocks.

"Wh-what?" Vanderwood gasped, crouching to the ground. "You said this place was abandoned."

"It was," MC replied. Saeyoung grabbed her wrist, tugging her down with him as he retreated behind the couch. Vanderwood crept forward closer to the window.

"It must be someone from the agency," he said. "I can't get a good look though."

"We'll have to run," Saeyoung said. "First get a weapon. MC, stay behind me."

Instinctually, he grabbed his gun with his right hand. He gritted his teeth, realizing his mistake. MC snatched the weapon from the ground.

"Watch your arm!" she hissed. He gave an apologetic glance before refusing it when she offered it to him.

"Use it," he said, facing away from her. He already knew what her response would be. Not only was this life new to her, it was against her very nature. She was bright, caring, compassionate. The idea of shooting someone…hurting them…he knew it would rip her to shreds if she lived it too long. He would make sure it wouldn't come to that, but she had to think of her safety right now. He found another gun in their small stash and kept it low at his side.

"Should I just start shooting?" Vanderwood asked, taking cover under the window.

"No!" Saeyoung burst. "We can't have anyone die here. We only shoot if they threaten us."

His eyes remained plastered on the door, but he could still hear MC call to Saeran who seemed to have left his corner and joined them. "Duck," she whispered. "They might see you."

"You still have a chance to accept my offer, princess," his brother replied. Saeyoung's brows furrowed at the statement…and more so, the cunning voice behind it.

Dread pooled in the pit of his stomach. He turned to view what was happening. MC was clutching the hem of Saeran's jacket. Her eyes were wide, and her lips parted slightly. "Saeran, no," she breathed.

He stepped over her, purposely shoving Saeyoung back against the couch as he passed by. "Move over."

"Saeran, what are you doing?" Saeyoung snapped, trying to grab him. He evaded his grasp and continued towards the door. No…no, it couldn't be. Not when they had made it this far.

"Back off, traitors," Saeran growled.

MC 's fingers curled around the fabric of Saeyoung's jacket. "Y-you know that bad feeling," she said, her voice low and wavering.

His chest caved as his breath left him in one incredulous sigh. He knew what was happening…he was witnessing it, but he couldn't wrap his mind around it. In the midst of his hurtling thoughts, he prayed this was just some nightmare. He would wake up soon, right? But the throbbing in his arm and MC's trembling hand anchored him in reality. He was an idiot to think Saeran would agree to come with him so readily. He should have been more cautious.

His head slowly turned back to Saeran who had now opened the door. The white haired boy leaned against the doorpost. "You're just in time."

His smug expression vanished within an instant when someone else entered the cabin. "What…what are you doing here?"

The door creaked open farther revealing a tall man in his mid-twenties with mint hair and sunglasses shielding his eyes despite the gloomy weather. Saeyoung's heart sunk. His limbs crumpled from the shock, causing him to stumble backwards into MC.

V tilted his head at the noise. His focus seemed to be past them rather than on them. "Saeyoung," he said. His voice was soft and comforting, just like the times he would stop by Saeyoung's bunker for his occasional visits. "And I assume MC is here as well."

Saeran interrupted before Saeyoung could say anything-not that his mind was working well enough to speak. "Where is the savior?" He stepped in front of V and clutched his blazer is his fist. "Why are you here?"

When the man gave no answer, Saeyoung rose to his feet, his anger racing through his blood. He couldn't tear his eyes from V. "Saeran, what is happening?" he repeated. He prayed his brother might deny his involvement. Maybe this was just a whole misunderstanding.

"I think your brother told his team that we're here," Vanderwood said.

"But why is he here?" Saeyoung burst, pointing at V. He had hoped never to see the man again. He thought it bad enough that he had lied about his brother and doubted him at the worst possible moment. But Saeyoung had thought it had been the end. He had quit the RFA and went on his way. Why…why was he actively seeking them? Why couldn't he disappear instead of further tainting Saeyoung's image of him?

Vanderwood was pestering him with questions, but all he could think about was contacting someone….anyone for help. He slipped his hand in his pocket, searching for his phone. Of course it would be in his right pocket. His fingers seemed to disconnect from his brain, and he had difficulty gripping it. He let out a grunt when pain surged through his hand. His gun clattered against the wood floor.

He dropped his arm to his side when V stepped towards him, grasping his shoulder. "Saeyoung, are you hurt?"

A hand jutted out, pressing against V's chest and pushing him back. "None of your business," MC replied. "Why are you here, V?"

Saeyoung was about to push her behind him again. If everything else went wrong, she at least had to leave the place unscathed. He'd trade himself in if needed. Then, he felt something slide into his pocket. She had caught onto his plan. Her fingers enclosed around his phone and pulled it out.

V pressed against her hand. "Are you injured? Did you get shot?"

Saeyoung hated the sincerity behind each word. It dredged up an unwelcomed ache within his chest. His emotions and his sense of logic engaged in a battle within his brain, distorting his ability to concentrate. The friend and mentor of his memories and the man who had betrayed him were beginning to blur together.

"Shut up, and tell me why you're here!" he shouted, unable to steady his voice.

The kindness in V's expression hardened. "I came here to take you all," he said. "The savior sent me. I'll lead you all to Magenta. I've received orders to bring you into Mint Eye."

"Mint Eye," MC echoed. "So, when we ran into you that day...You were with them."

V remained silent, but bowed his head.

Saeyoung swore under his breath. Of course…V was the one who gave him clues about the hacker. MC…Unknown…all of it was just a ploy to pull them into this cult.

"Hey," Vanderwood snapped. "What the hell is going on? That religious cult has us now?"

Before he could say anything, Saeran interfered with another outburst about the "savior." Saeyoung shook his head. He had to take advantage of the sudden interference. He pulled MC behind him and slowly backed away from the others. She had his phone. Now he just needed to get into the messenger without being seen.

When they were a good distance away, Saeyoung yanked MC into his arms, appearing to embrace her. He made sure his back was facing the Saeran and V.

"Saeyoung, what're you—" MC began, irritation lacing her voice.

"Shh," he said close to her ear. "Give me the phone, and keep an eye out. Please."

She nodded against him. He felt a weight in his left pocket. He slipped it out before cradling MC while he logged into messenger. Dang it. Why was it taking so long to load?

"Are you afraid?" he said softly. Her body shuddering against his was enough of an answer.

"Yeah," she choked. "But I trust you."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. If she was harmed in any way, he'd make sure he'd spend the rest of his short life paying for it. "You must be an angel," he replied.

Finally, he managed to get the messenger open. They said they were taking them to Mint Eye…Magenta…that castle in the mountains. It had been weeks since he'd been there last, but he knew the coordinates by heart. Jumin could find them.

"Saeyoung, they're coming," MC said, her hands gripping his shirt.

He swore under his breath as his right thumb froze completely. He tried finishing the coordinates with his other hand, but his fingers kept slipping. "My arm isn't listening to me," he grumbled.

"Let go of everything in your hands, or else we will attack!" came an unfamiliar voice. So, they had back up.

Saeyoung let the phone slide from his hands to the ground. He pressed a kiss to MC's temple before taking a step back. She was pale and her bottom lip quivered. Still, she was brave to offer him a smile, even in this mess. He couldn't help the watery chuckle that escaped his own throat. "We'll get out of this, okay?" he said, caressing her cheek.

She nodded. "Yeah," she said. "The same way we always do, right?"

MC suddenly grabbed his good hand, placing it on her waist. "Together."

He furrowed his brows in confusion until he felt the outline of a familiar handle from underneath her oversized sweatshirt. He discreetly glanced down to the floor…his gun wasn't there. Maybe…the disciples would just assume the only weapons were the ones on the ground and in their stash. Saeyoung prayed to God that they would be so ignorant.

"MC, you're amazing, you know that?" he breathed.

"I think I picked it up from you," she said, a laugh barely leaving her lips. MC stumbled away from him when other Mint Eye disciples charged into the cabin. They stood at a distance, stiff and dead-eyed.

Saeran crossed his arms and met Saeyoung's eyes. For a moment, the older twin thought he saw a glimmer of remorse, but in the present situation, it was difficult to believe. Saeran wasn't the same person…he knew that. But that knowledge did nothing to ease the pain of the betrayal. It hurt beyond words.

The white-haired boy lifted his chin, his lips twitching downwards in a scowl. "Arrest them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit more action-y than the others. Still, I hope you liked it. :)
> 
> Hopefully, my schedule evens out again this week. If all goes well, I will see you Friday. As always, I really enjoy hearing from you guys, and I love when you all engage in small discussions! Honestly, it fuels my inspiration. You guys are amazing :) Thanks for reading, and I'll see you soon~


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three are captured, Saeyoung is worse, and MC is in for a shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh, an update as per schedule~ Yayyy! Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. It deviates from the secret endings, but overlaps in some areas.

If MC wasn't facing possible death, she might have laughed at her situation. Here she was being arrested by a religious cult because she accepted to join a seemingly harmless charity organization after downloading a seemingly harmless app. But with several guns pointed at her and her companions, she couldn't find any of her humor at the moment.

The gun, which was so light in her hands when Saeyoung handed it to her, was now a heavy weight at her side. She felt transparent. Even if they showed no indication of it, it seemed as if the disciples knew exactly what she'd done and could see right through her. But surely not, right? They were a cult…not a police organization. They might not think to double check them for hidden weapons. At least that's what she was banking on.

Saeran had given his orders to arrest them all. The disciples took a step forward, eerily in exact synchronization. V lifted a hand before they went any further. "I'll take the injured one myself."

The white-haired boy frowned. "Don't think about doing anything else, V," he snapped. "It's enough that you're here. Just get back."

"I said I'll take him," V returned evenly. A shiver went down MC's spine. The man had always seemed so kind and gentle in the chat room. Even the little she heard him speak, he was mild. But there was such vehemence behind his words just now. Why was he so eager to take Saeyoung?

None of the other disciples fought against V. They let him grab Saeyoung himself. The red head let out a cry of pain when V pulled his arms behind his back. Vanderwood roughly shoved his hand off his right arm. "Be gentle! He's hurt."

Remorse flickered across V's features. "Don't forgive me," he said to Saeyoung. "No matter what I do…please remain as Luciel."

MC's stomach sank when Saeyoung didn't reply. His face was growing pale, and pain was carved into his expression. She stepped forward, but froze when she heard the click of a hammer from the pistol aimed at her.

Saeyoung glanced at her briefly, his eyes struggling to focus. He fought against V, but to no avail. He was too weak. "Don't…" he breathed. "Don't say that now. I'm going to curse you forever. And my name is Saeyoung…not Luciel and not 707. I don't need the names you forced on me."

He turned his head to look at MC. "I'm so sorry," he rasped. "I'm going to find a way to get us out."

Saeran let out a sharp cry that melted into a laugh. "I don't know what you plan on doing with that arm!"

MC winced when the younger twin reached out grabbed Saeyoung's arm directly, squeezing it under his fingers. A scream wrenched from his throat. MC covered her mouth with her hands, half in an attempt to keep down her meager breakfast and half to stop herself from shouting his name. Saeran continued to laugh. "Feel that? I'll give you more pain at Magenta. I've waited for this for a very long time. Finally, all my efforts are coming to light."

He once again applied pressure to Saeyoung's arm. Vanderwood had tried to intervene, but was promptly detained by nearby disciples. MC's legs wobbled underneath her. A lump formed in her throat seeing agony distort Saeyoung's face. She could only take so much.

"Saeran, stop!"

The words left her lips faster than she could check herself. Saeyoung slouched sideways after the sudden release. If it weren't for V, he would've collapsed onto the ground. "M-MC, don't," he said in barely a whisper.

It was too late. She caught Saeran's attention, and he sauntered towards her. His boots fell with heavy thuds against the wood floor, each one matching her thudding heartbeat. His cold fingers slipped under her jaw. To her surprise, his touch was gentle. He tugged her face forward, causing her to take a step closer.

"Don't worry, MC," he said, his lips twitching upwards. It was the first time he actually said her name. His tone was warm…but empty. "Once you see the light, you'll realize he deserves every ounce of pain he gets."

"That's not true," MC forced. Her throat went dry, but she swallowed, attempting to press on. "Just let us go, Saeran. W-we can help you."

Wrong choice of words. His jaw clenched and his fingers pressed harder against her skin. "I don't need help. There's nothing wrong with me," he growled. Anger coursed through his eyes as he once again yanked her towards him. "And don't think I can't see what you're hiding, princess."

MC resisted the urge to check for the gun and pressed her hands to her side. Her gaze focused on his face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play coy," he said. His hand slid to her hip. She squeezed her eyes shut, expecting the pressure on her right side to be removed, and then—she wasn't sure. Pain? Unconsciousness? Death?

Instead, his fingers slipped into her pocket, retrieving her cell phone. She watched in a daze as he reached down and picked up Saeyoung's phone off the ground. "Your little RFA friends can't help you now."

He retrieved a phone out of his own pocket, which MC now recognized as Vanderwood's recently missing phone, and handed all three to a nearby disciple who dumped them into a bag along with the other guns. Still, he didn't move away from her. "I should just take you to Paradise myself—seeing how much Luciel is tortured with fear right now," he said. He glanced sideways at Saeyoung who was indeed intently following his every move. A small vein on his neck twitched in anger or worry—MC couldn't tell.

"Saeran, it's enough," he said, his voice hoarse. "You can do what you want with me. Just let her be."

"Oh, but I love seeing you so broken," Saeran said. "If I can make you feel half of the pain I suffered, I will be happy. If that involves her…" His voice drifted off , and he grazed her cheek softly with his hand. MC jerked her head away. The memories of torment etched into his features the day before sent waves of frustration through her. Were they real? Or was she stupidly naïve when it came to him?

"Saeran, let's go," V's deep voice cut through the tension in the air. "The savior will want to see her as well."

At the mention of this "savior", Saeran flinched. He stepped away from her and towards the door. MC heard a sigh of relief from Saeyoung. Before she even had a chance to check on him, someone stepped behind her and placed a gag over her mouth and tied her wrists behind her.

All three of them were shoved towards the door. Vanderwood was pushed out first, wrestling against his captors, but there were too many of them. V seemed to be supporting Saeyoung more than leading him out. Saeran stopped them near the door before leaning close and whispering something into his brother's ear. MC didn't catch it, but it brought a look of horror on Saeyoung's face.

Outside, a large, white truck along and one or two smaller cars crowded the area. Vanderwood, Saeyoung, and MC were roughly thrown into the back of the truck before being half dragged to the back where they were lined up on the floor. MC was sandwiched between the two of them, though she didn't miss how they protectively leaned against her on each side.

V climbed in after them. "No need for more back up," he told the other disciples. "Continue checking the place in case for anything suspicious and report back to Magenta in an hour."

"But the savior—"

"I'll deal with the savior," V said. The disciples argued no more and shut the two large doors. The only light in the dingy vehicle was that coming from a small thatch on the roof. It took a few moments for MC's eyes to adjust. She realized V was stumbling towards them.

His foot hit the edge of MC's shoe, and he slowly lowered himself to his knees. His fingers clumsily ran over MC's hair and eyes. She let out a few grunts and attempted to squirm away from him. Saeyoung pressed his boot against V's knee, ready to bash him backwards.

The older man patted Saeyoung's leg. "I'm not going to hurt her," he said. His other hand found the cloth around her mouth and tugged it down. He did the same for Vanderwood and Saeyoung. "I'm sorry, but this is the most I can do. Even if you try to plot an escape, it's no use. You're wounded and outnumbered. Please, just cooperate for now."

There was no threat behind his words. The gentleness confused MC's emotions, making her doubt her own resent towards him for the whole betrayal.

"Just get away from us," Saeyoung spat.

V's lips parted, as if he were going to respond, but instead he stood and sat on a rusty old chair on the opposite side. He leaned back and crossed his arms, his focus on the wall behind them rather than on them. The floor rumbled beneath them, jerking upwards here and there-a sign of moving.

MC tried wriggling off the ropes, but that only resulted in a sore wrist. Something brushed down on her shoulder. She thought it was V until she saw Vanderwood hovering over her, a finger pressed to his lips. He hurriedly untied her hands before moving onto Saeyoung. The latter didn't even react to the older man's escape. They'd done this before, MC thought.

The second his bonds were undone, Saeyoung was cupping MC's face in his hands, his thumb brushing against the skin under her jaw. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he said quietly enough that V wouldn't hear him over the noise of the truck. …although MC had a suspicion V was more aware of them than he let on.

"I'm fine," she answered. "Watch your arm."

"I'll be okay once we get out of here," he said abruptly.

"We can't jump out of a moving car," Vanderwood hissed. "Especially not in your state. You'll never make it."

Saeyoung huffed, rubbing his temple with one hand. "Then…"

MC flinched when his hand slid under the hem of her shirt, retrieving the weapon. She stared in disbelief, not trusting her own voice. Was he planning on shooting…? Her eyes drifted towards V.

As if reading her mind, he shook his head. "I'm not using it on him," he mumbled. He turned to Vanderwood, placing it into the man's gloved hand. "Put it here."

He yanked off one side of his shirt-enough to reveal the bandage that went up his entire arm. Vanderwood exhaled sharply, his eyes shifting to the side. He didn't seem thrilled at the suggestion.

"Saeyoung, no," MC said firmly.

"I'm not putting you in danger by having you hold onto it," he said. "They might do another weapon's check when we get there. They won't touch my arm if I act like I'm in more pain than I am."

Having made his decision, Vanderwood began undoing the wrapping on the young hacker's arm. A sliver of open flesh peeked out from the bottom half of the bandage. MC turned her face away as they secured the weapon underneath the white cloth. "But," she finally stammered. "You might end up bleeding again like that."

"She's right," Vanderwood said. "But I think he'll be fine if we find a way out fast."

MC helped him put his hoodie back on. She gripped the collar and observed him. His eyes were fixed on his hands, but she could tell his mind wasn't there. He had that same expression on his face since Saeran whispered something to him.

"Hey," she called, his head jerking up in attention. "What's wrong?"

Vanderwood gave a mirthless laugh. "I would say a whole lot of things."

"That's true," Saeyoung added, though he withheld his usual humor. "I'm sorry…for dragging you into this."

MC brushed a few strands of hair from his eyes. "I came into this willingly, remember?"

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this."

She shrugged. "Crap like this happens. What are you going to do?"

Vanderwood raised his brows. "You're overly positive, lady."

She forced a smile, though she was glad her façade had worked on at least one person among them. She was terrified. So terrified that she very almost felt numb to everything going on. She returned her attention to Saeyoung. "What did Saeran say to you back there?" she said. She cleared her throat, realizing her bluntness. "I mean, if you want to—"

"He said he'd send me to the same place as our mother," he said. He raked his fingers through his hair and exhaled shakily.

"And where's that?" MC ventured, though she had an idea from his reaction.

"Hell, I hope."

The answer was uncharacteristically vicious for the usually kind hacker. She squeezed his hand gently. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know your mother died."

"I knew she was dead. I don't care about that. I just didn't know Saeran was the one who—" he bit down on his tongue before wearily rubbing his eyes. "I just wish I knew what happened. I know it's not Saeran…not the real Saeran."

MC swallowed, unable to think of any words to comfort him. Instead, she pressed her lips to his forehead, hoping it would affect him in the slightest. The heat of his skin didn't escape her notice. She prayed he would hold on enough to get to a hospital.

"MC," he whispered hoarsely. "Can you do me a favor?"

She nodded.

"Tell me he's going to be okay. I think…Anything you say seems to fill me with hope."

MC took a deep breath, a chuckle escaping her throat. How he managed think of others in the midst of his own pain and suffering was a mystery to her. He often told her that she was an angel in his dark world, but honestly, he was the angelic one. He was thrown into a hard life full of trials from the beginning, and yet somehow he constantly worried for those around him. "He's going to be okay," she obliged. "One day, Saeran will understand the truth and it'll be okay."

She wasn't even sure if she believed her own words, but just seeing his face brighten ever so slightly made her wish it to be true from the bottom of her heart.

Saeyoung smiled. "Thank you. If you say so…and maybe if I keep praying…it has to come true."

The truck hit another bump, throwing her back against the wall. Saeyoung's arm wrapped around her waist, both steadying her and pulling her close. The warmth of his touch soothed her frayed nerves, clearing any irrational scenarios bombarding her mind. Vanderwood's head hit the back of the truck with a soft thud. "While all these moments are touching, prayers and well-wishing won't help the situation."

"Don't you believe in God, Vanderwood?" Saeyoung said. The ghost of a smile that appeared on Vanderwood's lips made MC wonder if it was some sort of inside joke between them.

"Instead, should we all confess our feelings towards each other?" she added, attempting to lighten the mood.

Vanderwood rolled his eyes. "I'd rather take a prayer circle."

MC and Saeyoung laughed, both casting fond glances towards the disgruntled man. Saeyoung stretched his arm across MC's shoulders to grip Vanderwood's arm. "I'm sorry for getting you into this mess. It wasn't my intention."

"I know," Vanderwood said. "But after we get out of this, I'll consider us even."

"Deal."

The ride continued on in silence. V was right in saying they couldn't escape now. They'd wait until a better moment to get away safely and whole. It felt like an eternity later that the truck came to a halt.

V stood and returned to them. "I'd put the ropes and gags back on if I were you."

None of them questioned how he knew. MC assumed he was being merciful, knowing he had done more than betrayed them at this point. Besides that, Mint Eye was larger than they had originally believed, leaving them at a great disadvantage. MC wrapped her own wrists with the rope tight enough to appear bound, but loose enough to slip off.

The doors burst open. MC squinted from the harsh light of the sun. Other disciples flooded into the truck, two securing each of them. They pushed MC forward and out onto a familiar grassy lawn. A castle with green domes stood tall in the midst of wild grass and cobblestone. She had hoped never to see this place again after she and Saeyoung had escaped weeks ago.

She tried twisting her head to catch sight of Saeyoung or Vanderwood, but the disciples were pushing her into the castle first and neither of them seemed to be outside the truck yet. In a fit of panic, she dug her heels into the gravel and leaned back against her guards. But, they were taller and stronger than her and simply dragged her along.

They brought her through the front door, leading her down a dark hall lined with purple carpets and burgundy walls. They opened two double doors and tossed her inside haphazardly. Her hands were still tied, so she couldn't catch her own fall and toppled to the ground. Her cheek burned from scraping against the cold marble. Pushing herself onto her knees, she looked up at a woman sitting on a purple, cushioned chair underneath an extravagant canopy. MC's eyes widened as she recognized those green eyes. Her mind spun.

Nearby disciples removed her gag. "You're…" MC began, unable to get the name out of her mouth.

"So, you've been my replacement all this time," the woman said, her voice lifeless and void. Her vacant eyes bore into MC's, causing her to shudder.

She couldn't understand what was going on. It couldn't be right. What was that woman doing here? More importantly…why wasn't she dead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And things continue to get worse...Poor kiddos. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter~ Let me know what you think, as I always love hearing from you! Thank you for coming back and reading this fic. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The companions are separated, and Saeyoung comes face to face with the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo~ Hope everyone had a good week. Here is le next chapter;) I really hope you like it!~

The moment MC left his sight, Saeyoung had tried to go after her. But that only resulted in the current situation where three guards had him pinned against the back of the truck. His muffled screams fell on deaf ears, and his voice was growing hoarse.

It had all happened so fast. Saeyoung thought they would all be escorted away when the guards began to crowd them. But then Saeran appeared outside the truck and whispered something to V, and MC was taken while he and Vanderwood remained in the truck.

"Saeyoung, please calm down!" V shouted above his protests.

Saeyoung jerked his head, effectively causing the gag to fall from his mouth. "I'll calm down when you tell me where your people took my girlfriend, you son of a—"

His curse was abruptly cut off when one of the disciples squeezed his arm to hold him back. The burning pain seared through his hand, but Saeyoung bit down his urge to scream. His breathing came out in heavy, labored pants. "Bring her back, V," he said, his voice dangerously low. "I'm serious."

V took a few steps forward, his hand outstretched. It pressed against Saeyoung's shoulder. "I promise you she won't be harmed."

"Just like you promised me you'd take care of Saeran?" he spat.

Saeyoung should have felt satisfied at the guilt overtaking the older man's features. Instead, his chest twinged. The remnants of strained trust and shattered hope in V completely vanished.

"You can let him go," V said. The disciples hesitated, but slowly yielded.

Saeyoung's fingers balled into a fist. His arm tensed, ready to throw a blow at V before making a run for it, but a steady hand pushed down on his shoulder. Vanderwood pulled him back. "Calm down, Seven," he said. "We won't find her like this, and you'll only harm yourself."

He was right. Releasing a few quivery breaths, Saeyoung let his shoulders droop. He returned his attention to V. "Why do you want MC? What does she have anything to do with this?"

V wiped his hands on his blazer. "I didn't want her involved in this, Saeyoung. I promise you, it wasn't my intention."

"Stop giving excuses and just tell me why we're here!"

If V was planning to give an answer, he showed no sign of it. His lips pressed into a thin line as he turned his head away. The thud of boots against metal sounded near the open doors of the truck. Saeyoung caught a flash of a familiar red shirt in the corner of his eye.

A fresh wave of emotions crashed over him. "Saeran," he began.

His brother was surprisingly silent. Calmly, he stepped over the abandoned ropes on the truck floor. He eyed Saeyoung carefully, as if expecting him to pounce. The latter took a step forward, but when Saeran flinched, he froze in place and raised his good arm in surrender. "What are we doing here?" he asked, trying to keep his voice stable.

Saeran's jaw clenched. "To meet your end," he replied. He glanced warily at Vanderwood. "What will happen to your assistant is up to the savior."

Saeyoung quelled the dread surfacing in his mind. At one time, not too long ago, he would've welcomed the early end to his miserable life. But now…he had two people to live for. More than that, he didn't want to die by his brother's hand, even if he probably deserved it. "And MC?"

A ghost of a smile hung on Saeran's lips. "It's torturing you, isn't it? Not knowing where she is…what's happening to her? And to think, it hasn't even been long."

Saeyoung's hand darted out before he could process his actions. It seized the collar of Saeran's shirt, pulling him towards him so they were face to face. The guards all took a step forward, but backed down when Saeran gave a dismissive wave. Obviously, he didn't think Saeyoung a threat.

He wasn't—not at the moment. Not only was he wounded, but he could never bring himself to hurt Saeran physically. Not after everything their mother did to him. Saeran knew this.

"Yes," he answered, his throat constricting. "You want the truth, Saeran? Then, yes, it's tearing me apart."

The younger twin's lip twitched as if he wanted to speak, but nothing but his erratic breathing followed. His mint eyes searched amber ones, and something akin to confusion clouded them. Discomfort trickled down Saeyoung's neck. He hadn't looked at Saeran's face for years. Not truly. Now he stared right at him and saw the pain and loneliness masked by gelid glares; the remorse festering within himself for years resurfaced.

Then, he saw something that made him dare to hope-a struggle. Perhaps it was a hallucination, originating from a desperation to redeem Saeran, or maybe it was due to the connection between twins. Still, Saeyoung clutched to that belief. Somewhere hidden inside the man in front of him, behind the empty smirk and veil of cruelty…a scared child searching for some warmth in his frigid, sheltered life still remained.

"What did they do to you, Saeran?" The question barely came out as a whisper.

Panic flashed in his countenance. His brother's cold, clammy fingers gripped Saeyoung's wrist and wrenched it away. He stumbled back a few paces. "That woman is fortunate," Saeran choked. "She will meet the savior first, and it will be determined whether or not she can join us. Then she won't care about you anymore."

"Saeran, don't-" Saeyoung said, his voice catching. He paused a moment, recollecting his wits. Emotions should fuel him, not blind him. "Don't involve her just to get to me."

He let out a shrill laugh—a stark contrast to the low voice he spoke with moments ago. The observation disturbed Saeyoung. Saeran was cool and collected one moment, and then hysterical and cruel the next. It wasn't like him. It couldn't have been.

"My purpose in life isn't only to destroy you," Saeran replied. "That is only a step to my happiness. After the woman joins me, I'll be another step closer to Paradise! The savior will praise my endeavors, and I will be rewarded."

Saeyoung couldn't bring himself to speak. His mind couldn't comprehend any of the words, no matter how much he tried. Or maybe his wound was starting to get to him. He was shaken from his stupor when the guards started moving forward to once again detain them.

Remembering the weapon tucked into his bandage, he waited until one of them gripped his wrist. It did nothing to worsen the already excruciating wound, but he still let his legs crumple beneath him, giving a small cry for emphasis.

Thankfully, Vanderwood understood the message. He pushed past the others, swinging Saeyoung's good arm over his shoulder. "He's in bad shape. Keep us surrounded all you want, but let me at least help him walk."

Saeran wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Fine. Just don't think about doing anything rash."

Saeyoung did his best to put on a convincing show. He allowed Vanderwood to take most of his weight as they clambered out of the truck and began down the cobbled path. He was glad that his acting had persuaded their captors enough to walk slow. Saeyoung took the opportunity to memorize the layout of the front. While he and MC had infiltrated the place before, they had come from the back entrance.

His attention snapped to the double doors which creaked open as they drew closer. Saeran took the lead, charging past V in the front. He led them down a long hall into an open room. Disciples lined the sides of it, their dead eyes following the group. It sent a chill down Saeyoung's spine. He saw nothing in front of him but the guards blocking their way. It wasn't until they reached the end of the room did they retreat to the corner.

He wished they hadn't.

"No…" he breathed. "N-no, it can't be."

His eyes fixated on the woman seated before him. Saeyoung's heart plummeted into his stomach when Saeran called her "savior" and bowed deeply. There was no way it could be Rika. She was kind, beautiful, sweet, and loving. The woman towering over them on her dais was more of a spectre than a human with her vacant eyes and taut mouth.

"Rika," the name spilled from his mouth. "Y-you're alive? What…Why is Saeran calling you savior? Why are you sitting there?"

"I have no idea what's going on," Vanderwood muttered. "But look to your left."

Saeyoung tore his eyes from Rika, following the ex-agent's instructions. Relief swam over him, drowning his initial shock. MC stood in the corner, her hands still bound by ropes as well as a gag over her mouth. Still, she seemed unharmed. She was attempting to elbow one of her captors until her eyes met his. He wanted nothing more but to charge over to her at that moment, but with so many potentially armed people present, he knew it would be unwise. She immediately calmed at the sight of him and gave him a small nod.

He returned his attention to Rika when she let out a cool sigh. "I heard there were people tracing us, Saeran. What happened?"

"The agency Luciel and his assistant worked for was chasing us. But we took care of it."

Vanderwood tensed, sending a sharp glare at Saeran. "What did you do!"

"No need to know," the twin replied without sparing a glance.

"He probably spread the info I hacked or handed it to someone else," Saeyoung added. The ground beneath him tilted suddenly…or rather his brain made him believe so.

Vanderwood swore under his breath, lifting Saeyoung up before he hit the ground. "You're bleeding again."

Sure enough, his sleeve darkened with hot, sticky blood. The bandages were coming loose. There was no need to act anymore. He forced down the pain and brought his gaze to Rika. "V told us that you committed suicide," he said. "Did you know that?"

He stared at her lips, praying that the words that would proceed would somehow connect the gaping holes that kept his life from making sense. So many questions battered his brain as he waited with bated breath.

The answers never came. She stared over his head. "This is all very exhausting. Saeran, you take care of them."

So, she was the one who…

"Rika, what did you do to Saeran?" he rasped. Despite the chaotic torrent of confusion in his muddled brain, one thing was becoming increasingly clear. V…Rika…neither of them were the kind souls who had helped him. Both of them used Saeyoung and Saeran for…for what? This cult? Something far worse? He didn't even know. But he wanted answers.

Again, she didn't even look him in the face. She stood, her spotless white robes billowing to the ground. She turned and disappeared behind the tapestry. "Don't go—wait!" Saeyoung called.

"She won't answer, so just take care of yourself," Vanderwood said. "Can you stand?"

Saeran was too preoccupied speaking to V to notice anything they were doing. So, Saeyoung pried himself from Vanderwood and attempted to walk a few steps. Immediately, he sought out MC. The guards seemed locked in a trance, since she managed to untangle her own ropes and pull off the gag without any of them making a move. Her bonds dropped to the ground, and she rushed forward to him.

Saeyoung stretched out a hand, anticipation prickling through his arms and legs. As long as she was okay, it would be fine.

"What are you doing!" Saeran's voice snapped his attention away from MC for half a moment.

When he looked back, the other disciples had blocked her way.

"N-no," she called, trying to push past them. "Please, just let me—"

"Get her back, and take them in," Saeran ordered.

Saeyoung had barely managed to brush her hand in an attempt to pull her away when his arms were jerked behind his back. "What are you doing to her? Just let her go!"

Saeran crossed his arms. "The savior wishes to speak with her separately."

The young hacker opened his mouth to protest when MC spoke, "Saeyoung…I'll be okay."

He shook his head. "I'm not going to let them do anything to you," he said, before turning back to Saeran. "What need do you have of her? Take me instead. Please!"

"Saeyoung," she called. A smile hung on her lips despite the few tears that slipped down her cheeks. "I'll be fine. Please, take care of yourself."

Before he could even call her name again, he was forcefully led out of the room. He could hardly think straight as they climbed down several flights of stairs into some underground dungeon. How places like this still existed was a mystery to him.

They were finally tossed into a dirty cell. After locking them in, a few disciples lingered near the entrance. Saeyoung could see batons at their side as well as outlines of a gun underneath their robes.

They were trapped, and MC was…God knows where they were taking her.

"This isn't happening," he muttered. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at his red waves in frustration. "Someone tell me this isn't happening."

His leg swung out, kicking the bars with as much force as he could manage. They rattled upon impact, but still stood firmly in place. Meanwhile, having lost so much blood, Saeyoung was the one tumbling to the ground.

"Hey, watch it!" Vanderwood scolded, crouching beside him. "Calm down."

"You can't tell me to calm down when MC is—"

"Panicking down here isn't helping her!" Vanderwood returned. "You heard her. You need to take care of yourself."

A slew of curses flew from Saeyoung's mouth before he attempted gathering his frantic thoughts. His fingers clutched at the cross around his neck. What was MC thinking? He prayed she had no intention of sacrificing herself to buy them time. If she did…he would never forgive himself for letting her close to him in the first place.

He pushed himself to his knees, pressing his forehead onto the bars. He just wanted to save Saeran…how had this mess happened? The cool metal alleviated some of the anxiety, helping him compose himself. His bubbling anger now simmered underneath his skin. He wouldn't give up now. He would get MC and Saeran in any way possible…even if the cost was his own life.

He scanned the area. There were only two guards…easy enough to deal with, if need be.

"Vanderwood, I'm giving her an hour," he spoke quietly.

"For what?"

"She's smart," he replied, looking over at his ex-handler. "Knowing her, she'll come looking for us if she escapes. If she's not back within one hour, I'm using it."

Vanderwood's gaze warily shifted to Saeyoung's bleeding arm, where their only weapon was secured. The older man knew he never had a stomach for killing anyone…that's why he made sure his aim was so sharp. Wound, never kill. That was his motto. That didn't mean Saeyoung couldn't wreak havoc if necessary.

Vanderwood gave a small nod before falling back on his rear. He let out a long sigh, patting Saeyoung's knee. "You know, kid, you get quite scary when you're protective like this. Somehow, it's touching. "

Saeyoung exhaled sharply. "I'll be scarier if anything happens to MC."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where is MC? What's up with Saeran? Hmm...guess you'll have to stay tuned. :)
> 
> This chapter and (most likely) the next is probably where the plot itself diverges from canon the most. It makes MC a bit more thrown into the fire due to her own involvement, and not just standing there. What do you think? Like it...dislike it (Hopefully not :0)? Let me know, as always:) Thank you so much for reading and sticking with this story so far!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC comes face to face with Rika, and maybe gets a little beat up on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all had a wonderful week! Thank you all for your lovely feedback. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter:)

MC hated the tears that wouldn't stop streaming down her cheeks. This was not the time to be emotional, and yet here she was. She would be lying if she said she wasn't terrified. But, it was for Saeyoung. They might be separated now, but she desperately hoped he would take care of himself and come back to her alive. From what Saeran had said, they had no intention of killing her…not yet. She could buy some time or find a way out if she was smart.

The guards who separated her from Saeyoung yanked her towards the dais. She knew escape would most likely be a luxury, but she still struggled against them; at least, they would know she wouldn't be taken easily.

They drew back the curtains, revealing an opening to a small room behind. It was carpeted similarly as the main room, but it had no windows. MC nearly fell over as they roughly shoved her onto a metal chair in the center and tied her to it...not without a few attempts of her own to flee. "Please cooperate," one of the disciples deadpanned. "The savior will grace you with her presence soon."

MC swallowed, goose bumps travelling down her arm. She winced when something pinched the exposed skin of her shoulder. The disciples stepped in front of her and bowed slightly. "May you join us as a sister in Paradise."

MC's mouth went dry as her eyes fell upon the syringe in one of their hands. They turned and made their way to the exit. "Wait! What the heck did you give me!"

It was too late. She was alone.

Trying not to imagine herself soon becoming a zombie like them, she wriggled her wrists and ankles. She ignored the sting of the coarse ropes grating against her flesh while she scoped her surroundings. There was not much in the room, except empty tables and chairs. The image of a green eye was sewn into the tapestry lining the walls, and MC half wondered if they were watching her.

"Please do not fight," a sickeningly sweet voice drifted from the opening behind the curtains.

Rika glided across the floor in graceful motions. MC was mesmerized at how she seemed to glow, even if her facial expressions were either solemn or cheery. "What do you want with me?" she asked. Her voice wavered against her will.

Rika stood in front of her and bent over slightly. Her green eyes examined MC's. "Oh," she gasped. "You were crying?"

Her tiny finger touched MC's cheeks, brushing away the moisture that remained. The gesture was anything but comforting. "What do you want?" MC repeated. "And what did your people give me?"

Rika tilted her head. Up close, MC could see why most of the RFA practically adored her. Not only was she beautiful, but there was something in her face that exuded innocence and sweetness. Perhaps, if MC hadn't been tied to a chair or seen Saeyoung's story first-hand, she too might have been enraptured in this spell. "It seems that Saeran believed you to be the one to take my place for a little while. How did you like the RFA?"

MC pressed her lips together.

"You did well," Rika said, standing straight. She walked over to the table and retrieved what appeared to be candlesticks and a matchbox from underneath. "I'm sorry that Saeyoung caused distress over it."

"He did no such thing," MC snapped before she could stop herself. Rika's laugh fluttered through the air. Musical…sweet…happy…

"Don't worry," the woman said. "The RFA will join us soon. Everyone will be happy."

She lit two candles before returning to MC. Her hand brushed her bangs from her eyes. "You remind me of myself, really," she sighed. "You've managed to help people…like Jumin. How is he? He's so often stuck in his own world, it's difficult for him to make friends. And Zen…he acts so strong, and yet he's so insecure."

Again, she giggled, the sound crawling under MC's skin. The sweet smell of spices floated through the room. Rika tilted her chin up with her fingers so they were once again looking eye to eye. "But you can't help all of them, can you?" she said. "No matter how much you try, they still have pain…scars…and that hurts, doesn't it? You feel useless."

MC furrowed her brows, more disturbed that Rika spoke truth for once. She remembered the feeling of helplessness when Saeyoung was protecting her in the apartment…how worthless she thought herself, having few skills besides talking with people. That feeling…that's why she was here, wasn't it?

Rika let go of her face and stood tall, that smile never leaving her lips. "Tell me…MC…do you want to be in a place where you can make everyone happy?"

"That's impossible," MC replied with a snort.

The older woman's eyes crinkled. "Oh? You sound like someone else I know," she said. "But it's not impossible. That's what Mint Eye is all about. Eternal happiness. Don't you want to join that? You can help everyone."

Her words dripped with honey. The conviction behind them made MC doubt her own inhibitions. Maybe… it could be possible… maybe this place was good. She could actually help the RFA more than just planning a silly party. And the twins…

Saeran's screams of pain from just the night before rang in her brain. She remembered the sadness that was always interlaced in Saeyoung's gaze. She shook her head. What was wrong with her brain?

"Happiness?" she echoed. Her tongue grew heavier in her mouth, but she managed to press on. "Is happiness tearing two brothers apart and pitting them against each other?"

The smile on Rika's lips faltered. "I assume you speak of Saeyoung and Saeran. It was not my fault that Saeyoung abandoned his brother."

"He didn't—" MC began. A sudden wave of exhaustion slammed into her. Her limbs became weak and her heart rate slowed considerably. The fragrant spices from the candle were more sickening and suffocating than before. They irritated the dull ache at the base of her skull.

Again, Rika's cold hands cupped MC's chin. "Don't worry, dear. You'll see the truth soon."

MC highly doubted that, but her energy was drastically waning. She blinked a few times, willing her mind to focus. Whatever they gave her was taking hold…and fast.

Rika opened her mouth to say more, but was interrupted when the curtains were drawn back, revealing a disgruntled Saeran.

"Savior!" he called.

A glint of annoyance flashed in her eyes, but it was masked with a smile. "I'm busy right now," she told him. "Let's talk later."

Saeran ignored her and charged into the room. "Why are you keeping V alive? You hated him so much...He's the cause of all of this! I cannot understand why he deserves to be close to you!"

"I only have to test something. Don't think too deeply about it," she said, finally turning to face him. She took him by the arm and attempted leading him towards the curtain. Saeran continued to speak to her, his words more desperate and frenzied than MC had heard so far.

It would seem that V wasn't as welcomed at Mint Eye as they thought. While MC was intrigued by the supposed schism, she didn't have enough energy to focus on their conversation and get free. She tuned them out and tested her restraints once more while their backs were turned. She summoned all the strength she could to twist her wrist out of the tight binds. She knew she was probably cutting through skin at this point, but she had to persevere. Saeyoung…she had to get to him before…well, whatever Rika had planned.

She managed to loosen one loop and wriggle it up the side of her thumb. The success made her too eager. She let the rope slip over too quickly, and it trapped her thumb and wrist at an odd angle. MC bit her lip before her sharp cry escaped. Saeran glanced in her direction, but he seemed more intrigued with Rika.

MC shut her eyes, trying not to think of the increasing pain coursing through her hand. It didn't help that her mind was getting foggier by the second, making it difficult to concentrate. After awhile, the throbbing wasn't much of a problem, but she knew her fingers weren't supposed to bend that way.

So, she kept trying. Perhaps it was the drugs that made her so persistent, or maybe worry was making her desperate. But, her stamina trickled away with every endeavor.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

Saeran's sharp voice cut through her addled brain. He towered over her. She glanced around, but Rika was nowhere to be seen. "Where…" she breathed.

"She had business to attend to. And, don't think I can't see you trying to escape," he said before his gaze softened. He patted her head. "Our everlasting party will be soon. Be patient, and you too will be free from pain."

"Saeran, please….please untie me," she had to tear the words from her throat.

They slurred together, and she wasn't sure if he understood. She wasn't sure when she started crying…or why…but the warmth of her tears and the dull pain in her hand were the only things she knew she felt. "Please…it's stuck…"

Saeran's mint eyes shifted towards the one of the tapestries. "You're only imagining it," he said. "Most likely from the sedatives."

She furrowed her brows. Of course…that must have been the shot. "No—please, my hand."

He hesitated a few moments longer before walking behind her. She shut her eyes, expecting some escalated pain. Instead, the weight of the ropes fell. She shakily brought her left hand in front of her. Her wrist and thumb were swollen and black and blue. She found there was only pain when she twitched her fingers…thanks to the drugs, she supposed.

Saeran knelt in front of her, grabbing her arm. His eyes examined the bruise, and he huffed. "What did you do to yourself?" he muttered. He gingerly touched the area. The anger in his eyes had completely disappeared, replaced by something akin to compassion. MC promised herself not to forget it. This was the real Saeran…no matter what he had done. When he caught her gaping, he abruptly dropped her hand in her lap. "This is why you should just cooperate. It hurts more to escape when you're tied up."

The statement was said so casually, but it caused MC's chest to ache. He was speaking from experience.

Saeran pursed his lips and stared at her intently. He did so similarly, just the day before, though she wasn't sure why he seemed to look at her like that. Still, MC held his gaze. She found her eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment. She forced them open.

"The sedatives are hitting strongly now," he sighed. He reached down to her legs and untied the bonds around her ankles. "You won't be able to run if you wanted."

MC grabbed his jacket before he could stand. He obviously obliged her, as her fingers had no strength to hold him in place. "Saeyoung…w-where did you take him?"

He scoffed. "Shouldn't you be worrying about yourself right now?"

"Don't hurt him," she said. Her brain couldn't form complex sentences, but she had to try to get her thoughts across. "You'll regret… Don't-"

Fatigue hit her worse than before. She slumped forward, but Saeran caught her before she slid to the ground. He pushed her back so she was supported by the chair. When he stood, something clattered to ground from his pocket.

MC rolled her head to the side to view it. It was a phone, although its appearance was beaten and bruised with a strange bulb on the top. To think that help was one phone call away. Maybe this was her chance.

The rustling of the curtains diverted both of their attentions. MC's vision wasn't focusing at that distance, but she could see a whirl of mint hair. V took a few hesitant steps, his arms outstretched. "Rika?"

"She's not here," Saeran snapped. "Leave her be."

V stilled, his arms falling to his side. "She called for me."

"Then wait for her," came the terse reply.

As V formulated his answer, MC used her last bit of energy. She pushed herself off the chair and onto the ground. She fell on her bruised hand, which sent shocks of pain through her arm, but for once she welcomed it. It cleared some of her mind's haze. She reached out for the phone, her fingers just brushing them. Saeran kicked it away before she could grasp it.

"Nice try," he sneered.

Saeran's arm wrapped around her waist and hoisted her to her feet. He was right when he said it was futile to escape. Her legs wobbled beneath her, giving in under her weight. He lowered her back into the chair, using his hand to steady her before he let go.

"MC?" V called. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

She would've replied if she could, but her tongue had completely lost its use now.

"She won't be able to speak for awhile," Saeran said. Although the way he watched her, he seemed to doubt it himself.

V drew closer, but stopped within a few feet of MC. "Why isn't she with the others?"

MC's heart leapt to her throat. With the others…That meant they were still in this building-most likely unharmed for now.

"Because the savior wanted to speak with her."

"But, now?"

Saeran clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. "Why are you suddenly interested in where she goes? You shouldn't even be here, being useless as you are."

V didn't respond to him, but turned to MC. "I'm sorry. I didn't think they would do this to you."

If MC could speak, she would've protested. She didn't care what happened to her at this point. She just wanted to find Saeyoung and Vanderwood.

"Although," Saeran mused. His lips curled into a devilish grin. "It would be fun to see Luciel's reaction to see you returned, only to be in this state."

Did she really look that bad?

MC half expected V to disapprove, but the man was silent. When Saeran slid one arm under her knees and another cradling her back, she wished she could thank him. Did he know how to provoke the younger boy? Was he doing them a favor, or was it just some demented ploy to get Rika's approval?

She brushed the thoughts from her mind, throwing all her effort into memorizing the halls Saeran carried her. It wasn't much use. Her vision was mostly swimming colors, and her headache had grown worse.

A few times on the trip, she blanked out, remembering nothing when she opened her eyes once more. Of course…she tried her best to find a way out, and now she was nothing more than a plot device used to torture Saeyoung instead of help him. Maybe Rika was right...Was she useless after all?

When she awoke out of one of her spells, she could hear the creak of metal against metal. She was faintly aware of voices and the smell of a damp basement. A swirl of red and yellow swam in front of her eyes. But there was no mistaking the familiar warmth of the arms underneath her.

"Saeyoung?" she said. Or at least, she thought she said. "I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to research a lot about sedatives for this chapter, so let's hope no one goes through my browser history without context...lolol. Hope you enjoyed this little divergence. Rika was interesting to write, as is Saeran. As always, let me know what you think;) Thanks, guys! Have a good weekend~


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcomed reunions...some rest and refocusing...less welcomed reunions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Am I late to update or what? Sorry guys...the week was busy, and something health related came up over the weekend so I wasn't in a condition to finish the chapter until late. Anywho, hope you enjoy it! :)

Thirty five minutes. It had been thirty five minutes that they'd been locked into this cell if Vanderwood's cracked watch was correct.

Saeyoung's eyes burned, but he continued to stare at the corridor opening. His hand clutched the cross at his neck. He'd been praying under his breath for a miracle. That somehow MC would walk through that opening with a way to get them all out.

Even better, just have all of this be a dream...a delusion...he didn't care. Something other than reality.

"Hey, your bleeding is getting worse," Vanderwood pointed out from the other side of the cell, breaking his concentration.

Saeyoung barely spared a glance at his own arm. His shirt was already soaked with blood, and he couldn't remember what not having pain there felt like anymore. He returned to his vigil. "I'll deal with it later."

"I know you're worried and all, but I really don't want to see your dead body here. It'll ruin my life."

Saeyoung started at the statement. It was spoken so softly…almost brotherly, if he dared to imagine it. He raised a brow and turned to his ex-handler. The latter didn't look at him but busied himself with a small string on his jacket. "I'm fine," Saeyoung replied. "I can get through it. I have someone to protect after all."

The nagging thought that MC might not need protecting if she were already dead weighed down on his chest. No…he had to resist entertaining such doubts, or he was going to do something rash.

Twenty more minutes. That's all he was giving them before all chaos broke loose. With each passing second, the weight of gun on his arm increased, albeit he wasn't sure if it was because he was getting weaker.

"Hey," Vanderwood said, pushing himself to his feet. "I think I see someone coming."

Saeyoung's heart leapt when echoing footsteps confirmed the statement. His body seemed to move on its own as he stumbled towards the bars and pressed his face against them. He wasn't sure what he was expecting. Maybe MC waltzing down the stairs with her usual positive, playfulness. Or maybe even Jumin who might have managed to locate them with the given half of the coordinates. Either would be a miracle.

He certainly wasn't expecting the cheerful humming. "Luciel," Saeran sang, his voice wavering here and there from suppressed laughter. "I have a surprise for you!"

Saeyoung held his breath. His heartbeat quickened with every inch his brother's shadow grew closer. Finally he appeared in the doorway holding a motionless form in his arms. Saeyoung's heart plummeted when he recognized it as MC.

"N-no," he murmured. He blinked several times, hoping that something would change somehow, but it didn't. He leaned further against the bars, ignoring his shoulder's protest. "What happened?"

Saeran chuckled and sauntered forward. He stayed several paces away from the cell.

"I've brought you Sleeping Beauty," he smiled.

Saeyoung reached a hand through the bars in an attempt to touch her. Sleeping? She was alive, right? Oh, God, she had to be. "What did you do to her?" he growled.

"Oh, I didn't do this," Saeran replied. "The princess just pricked her own finger. That's all."

He seemed very pleased with his riddle, but Saeyoung was not amused. For the first time since their reunion, irritation towards Saeran prickled under his skin. He gritted his teeth. "This isn't a joke," he said.

Saeran threw his head back in laughter. "You should really see your face right now. Do you honestly care for her that much?"

Saeyoung shifted his gaze from MC to Saeran. His brother knew the answer. He knew very well, and that's why MC was unconscious in his arms. "Please, you have me. Just let her go at least."

"And have her snitch?" Saeran scoffed. "If you didn't want her harmed, you should've warned her that everything you touch only ends in suffering."

Saeyoung deflated. Not because the words were hurtful, but because they were true. He had told everyone that before…didn't he? Dread pooled in his stomach as he once again looked at MC. Her pointer finger twitched ever so slightly-a sign she was alive. But, she shouldn't have been harmed at all. That wasn't Saeyoung's plan.

After deeming his "fun" over, Saeran gestured the guards for the key.

"Back away if you want her," he ordered. "Or else I'll just take her straight back and begin the purification process."

Saeyoung's throat constricted at the mention of "purification." He didn't want to know what it entailed, so he obeyed, walking backwards until he hit the wall. His eyes remained fixed on MC's far too pale face. Saeran glanced between Saeyoung and Vanderwood a few times before setting MC's feet on the ground and opening the cell.

He lost his grip of her—or simply let her go—and she started collapsing. Saeyoung jumped forward, using his good arm to break her fall as she slumped against his chest. In the midst of it, Vanderwood had also lunged forward, his hand reaching for the cell door. A smart move, but, Saeran was too quick and swung it shut before his fingers could get a grasp. Vanderwood swore as the younger twin let out a triumphant chuckle.

Saeyoung shifted MC in his arms as he lowered her to the ground. Resting her head on his lap, he inspected her body for injuries, trying not to think of the various tortures any one from Mint Eye could have done in half an hour. His thumb hovered over the raw skin on her wrists. "Wait!" he called when Saeran began walking away. "What did you do to her?"

His brother's face contorted. "I told you it wasn't me, you idiot."

"Then what did the others do?" he said. He was acutely aware at his temper and aggravated tone, but his nerves were beyond chafed…besides that, Saeran wasn't completely innocent. He knew what he was doing bringing MC to them in this condition. It was to throw Saeyoung off the edge mentally…and at this rate, it was working. "How did she get these cuts and bruises?"

"She wouldn't have if she wasn't so concerned about getting to you," Saeran crossed his arms. "Don't you see how harmful you are?"

Saeyoung shut his eyes and released a shaky breath. When he met Saeran's gaze once more, he softened his expression. "Saeran—"

"Don't," the twin snapped. He glanced at MC one last time before disappearing down the corridor.

Saeyoung sighed and turned his attention back to the girl in his arms. He tugged at the sleeve on her left wrist, wincing at the raw skin. Besides that, the black and blue bruise near her wrist and travelling up her hand was telling of a potential sprain. Her pulse was slow, but not deathly so. "I…I think they just gave her sedatives or something," he said.

Vanderwood huffed from his place by the cell door. He was still angrily brooding at the exit. "So, are both you and your twin destined to give me trouble?"

Saeyoung would've thrown something if he could. "Is that what's important right now!"

The older man clicked his tongue and knelt beside him. "Here, let her sit against the wall to get her blood flowing. If you're right, then she'll wake up soon."

He scooped MC in his arms, since Saeyoung couldn't, and set her near the back so she was sitting up. Meanwhile, the red head searched her for any other major injuries. Thankfully, there were none, but he hated that she had been hurt at all. The drugs couldn't have been strong, as she managed to mutter some unintelligible phrases here and there. After a few minutes of her unresponsiveness, Vanderwood dismissed himself to the other side of cell, keeping watch for anyone else.

Saeyoung wiped the sheen of sweat from his brow and sat next to MC. Despite the adrenaline from his panic, his body wasn't keeping up. It was too warm, and even his thin jacket was stifling at the moment. His eyes stung from exhaustion, but he resisted the urge to close them. He took MC's hand in his own, afraid she might disappear if he let go again. He absentmindedly traced the lines in her palm with his finger.

"You stupid, stupid girl," he said quietly. "Always worrying about other people. What were you even thinking letting them take you away?"

He turned to look at her, but she had no response except the fluttering of her eyelashes. He let his head fall back against the wall. Saeran's words began to settle in his mind. Poison…was that what he was? Did he seep into people's minds until they trusted him? Then…they got hurt while he continued to live life. Thoughts laced with regret and guilt resurfaced inside of him. He glanced around at the dreary walls and rusted metal. Had he been foolish to hope for happiness all this time?

"Maybe I should've let you leave that apartment alone after all," he said. "The chances of Saeran kidnapping you was slim anyway. I think I was being selfish then. You just get more hurt with me, right? Even now…I'm so weak and useless to you."

"If you …say something like that again, Saeyoung, I swear…I swear I'm going to trash one of your cars."

His eyes widened at the breathless voice. He jolted up to look at MC. Her half-lidded eyes sparkled even in the dim light. Relief swam over him. Forgetting his arm completely, he crushed her against his chest. She weakly returned the embrace, burying her face in his neck. His arm was searing, but he didn't dare let go, needing the physical affirmation that she was there.

"If I had more energy, you know I would hit you for talking like that about yourself again," she said.

"We were separated in a place where people could potentially kill us and that's what you want to say to me?"

"You scolded me first!" she protested. She grew silent a few moments. "Besides that, if anyone is useless around here, it's me."

He pulled her back, surprised when he saw tears on her cheeks. He brushed them away with this thumb. "What the heck are you talking about?"

"I was trying to find a way out," she explained. "I…I couldn't do anything. They tied me up, and I couldn't escape. I tried to get something to escape, but…I guess I just ended back captured. If it were you or Vanderwood, you probably could've gotten out of this situation easily. I…I'm sorry."

He squinted his eyes, his brain not processing what she had said. "That's what you were trying to do?"

She nodded sheepishly. He laughed in disbelief. He wouldn't say that the feat was exactly the smartest idea in a place like this, but she was brave and selfless.

"Hey, look at me," he said, his tone firm. He cupped her chin and tilted her head up to meet his eyes when she didn't comply. "Three things. First of all, you're not useless. Most normal people don't know how to escape being tied up—especially when drugged up. Besides, I really hope you're never in this situation again, so the information would be irrelevant, got it? Secondly, don't ever scare me like that again. I don't care if you have to claw at someone's face—just don't let yourself get separated. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah," she said, though he could still see traces of guilt in her eyes. "And the third thing?"

"Did I say three? Oh, right. Just this," he said before kissing her full on the mouth. She let out a muffled yelp of surprise before returning it with equal desperation, her fingers weakly curling around his shirt in an attempt to pull him closer.

Vanderwood's cry of disgust made the couple jump apart, flushed and breathless. "This isn't the time!" he exasperated.

"Sorry," Saeyoung muttered. He was right, but the young hacker couldn't help himself. He was caught up in the moment. Besides that, being apart in a place like this made their dangerous reality all the more definite.

He remembered MC's bruised hand and gently picked it up. "Where are you hurt? What happened up there?"

She took a deep breath, probably in attempt to shake off her sluggishness. "Nothing important. Just some trouble with the ropes before Saeran brought me here. It probably looks worse than it is. I'm more worried about you…"

Her voice trailed off as her gaze drifted to his arm. He knew there was no sense in hiding it now. "I'll be fine for now," he said. He patted the top of her head. "Now that you're here, we can search for a way out."

MC bit her lip. "I wish I could remember the way we came, but…"

"Not your fault," Saeyoung said before she started giving him that face again. "Um, do you have a knife on you? Or something sharp like a hair pin?"

She slipped a finger in her pocket and retrieved a hair tie. "This is all I have."

Saeyoung pouted and retrieved another one from his pocket. "That's all Vanderwood had too."

"If we had a razor, we could make a saw," she suggested.

Saeyoung fell back against the wall, using it for support. The adrenaline that fueled him for the past hour was now trickling away. "We have nothing."

MC's shoulders slouched, and disappointment flashed across her features. He rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry," he said. "I'll get us out of here, even if I have to give up everything."

"That better not include your own life, Saeyoung," she said quietly.

"And if it does?" he replied. He tugged on the two bands with his fingers.

She let out a shaky sigh. "Well, that would suck. What about our future?"

A smile tugged on his lips. "Our future?"

MC's head fell sideways on his shoulder. "Yep. Can't get married in a space station without you, can I? And what about starting that family you talked about?"

Heat crept into his cheeks at the thought. He hadn't exactly been thinking when he mentioned that weeks ago. Sometimes, his imagination got ahead of him and things slipped out. He tugged at his collar that seemed to get tighter by the minute. "Oh—er—subject change! Did Vanderwood just say something? We should-"

"Saeyoung," she said, her voice quiet and small, yet demanding his full attention. She looked up at him with such fire in her eyes, he was sure he would burst into flames any second. "I know it seems impossible right now, but…I still want to believe in a future for us. Both of us. Where we rescue Saeran, get married, live in a nice house, maybe even have Vanderwood visit on the weekends. "

Saeyoung snickered, and she grinned. "Yeah," he said. "I want to believe it too. So…will you trust me, then?"

"I always do."

"No," he said. "Trust me when I say I'll always come back for you. Somehow, no matter the circumstance, I will fight everything in my path to get to you."

MC chewed on her bottom lip, a few tears brimming her eyes. "You promise?" she choked.

"Yes," he said, bringing her hand to his lips. "I promise you'll get that future, even if it takes a lifetime."

Vanderwood scooted closer to them, pausing when he saw their position. "Sorry to interrupt this touching moment when our lives are at stake, but one of those disciples just came down the stairs and whispered something to our guards. I think they just got new orders."

Saeyoung stood to his feet. MC tried to follow suit, but apparently her legs weren't working quite yet. He helped her hobble over to the bars. "Do you think they're going to take me back?" she asked, eyeing the stairs warily.

"Nope," Saeyoung said, instinctively pulling her closer. "Not going to let them."

"Maybe I can—"

"MC, no," he said. "We're not splitting up again."

Vanderwood crossed his arms. "What do they even do here? I hate not knowing what's going on."

"You and me both," Saeyoung muttered. It seemed like the RFA was buried in more secrets than he could have possibly imagined. So many questions swirled around in his head, begging to be answered. The only problem was that V and Rika were probably the only two who held the truth, and both turned out to be liars.

The three watched the exit for what seemed like hours to Saeyoung. His brain was beginning to grow hazy again. He blinked a few times in order to refocus, but it didn't help. Suddenly, the floor spun underneath him, causing him to stumble to the ground. He dragged MC with him since she couldn't stand on her own yet either.

"Saeyoung, what happened?"

He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I…" his words trailed off as fatigue hit him.

She rolled up his sleeve, her face growing pale. "You're bleeding again."

Vanderwood swore as he helped Saeyoung move against the wall once more. "The bandages are soaked. I can't really do much more."

MC somehow managed to crawl over to him. She touched his cheek. "He's burning up too."

Saeyoung tried to protest, but he couldn't find it in him to speak. He would need to conserve energy if they were to make it out alive.

"He needs to rest for now," Vanderwood said. "I hate doing this, but we have no choice but to wait here for now until we can make contact with one of your friends."

Saeyoung nodded, no longer able to fight against the call of sleep. He dived in and out of it several times before the sound of boots thudding against stone roused him.

"What the hell is going on? Seriously!" Vanderwood said. He was gaping at the open doorway.

MC seemed to regain some of her strength as she was now standing on her own by the bars. Her left hand hung at her side while the other clutched to the metal. She too was staring at the entrance way. She didn't seem as surprised as Vanderwood, but she her posture was more rigid.

"What…" Saeyoung began, blinking away his drowsiness.

MC turned to him, her eyes glittering in pity or sympathy—he couldn't tell. "You're not going to like this."

"And this has been a picnic so far," he retorted. Testing out his limbs, he clambered to his feet. He dragged himself over to the bars to observe what was happening. It took a few moments before shadows even appeared along with what seemed like another prisoner. He recognized the man immediately.

Saeyoung let out a bitter laugh as they drew closer. Of course….it had to be V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess this was the small fluff before the storm.;) Our favorite couple is reunited, but are things better or worse? Hmmmm. As always, I love to hear your comments and thoughts throughout the week:) Hope you have a wonderful week and I will see you soon~


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC and Saeyoung have a few questions. Some mysteries get solved...some don't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ Hope everyone had a good week:) Here's an update for you, technically a day late, but I haven't gone to bed yet, so it doesn't count;) Thank you for all your kind comments and for understanding about last week! Hope you enjoy this chapter.

MC staggered back when Saeyoung tugged on her arm. He pulled her away from the door as they watched V get tossed to the ground like a tattered doll rather than a human being. It was a wonder he didn't fight at all. He coughed when a cloud of dust blew into his face.

Vanderwood inched towards the couple. "Isn't he on the queen bee's side? Why is he here?"

Saeyoung gave a scoff, but didn't reply. MC chewed on her bottom lip and watched as V brought himself into a sitting position. He seemed worse than he had been before, as if he had suddenly been given the job of Atlas.

She understood the implications of what V did. She had seen firsthand how it affected Saeran…Saeyoung…the entirety of the RFA. But she couldn't help the pity that welled in her chest as she watched him struggle to get a footing.

She stepped forward, ignoring Saeyoung's admonitions, and grabbed onto his arm. Her wrist felt a twinge of pain at the effort, but she pushed through to help him to his feet.

"Thank you, MC," he muttered, giving her a small smile.

"How did you know—"

"I'm not completely blind yet," he said. He scanned the area until he spotted Saeyoung and Vanderwood standing nearby."Saeyoung, how is your injury?"

Vanderwood muttered something to the younger man as V stretched his arms forward. His fingers brushed against Saeyoung's hoodie. "Here you are."

Saeyoung stared at his hand for a long while, a battle raging behind his eyes. The movement was delayed, but he yanked himself away. "Don't touch me," he snapped, pushing V back with his good arm. "Why are you here?"

"I thought you were with Rika," MC questioned. Her memories were mostly hazy now, due to the sedatives, but she did remember that much. He averted his gaze from her.

V's hand dug around in his pocket before he procured a phone. "Here," he said, holding it out to no one in particular. "Use it to call Jumin."

"Oh! Is that a phone?" Vanderwood exclaimed. "You stole it? Nice! We can finally—"

"Be careful," Saeyoung interrupted. "Anything coming from him could be used to spy on us."

MC narrowed her eyes at the object. Something about the round bulb at the top resonated in her mind. She tapped the top of her head a few times before it came to her. "Isn't that Saeran's phone? It fell out of his pocket when he was helping me."

Saeyoung lifted his eyes from the ground to look at V. "Is this bugged? Is that why you brought it here?"

"Saeyoung, no," V said. The urgency in his voice grew as he once again held out the device. "This phone was mine. I had lost it weeks ago, soon after I resigned from the RFA. It seemed Saeran had picked it up."

None of them made a move for the phone. V swallowed and shifted it in his hands. MC observed his growing discomfort. He was placed in an awkward position…there was no way he would've volunteered for something like this. To her surprise, his fingers grasped the edge of her sleeve. "I suppose I should apologize to you, MC. I recognized it when he kicked it away…after you fell on the floor. I'm sorry, but I had to use you as a distraction to get it back."

So, that's why he suggested she be brought here? MC was unsure if she felt exploited or glad that she ended up being useful in her discombobulated state. The latter had yet to be determined.

Neither Vanderwood nor Saeyoung went for the device, as if V had coated it in poison or something. While she was still wary, MC was a tad exasperated at their behavior. They had little choice now. She took the phone from the older man's hands. She tapped the screen, but it was turned off—most likely to conserve energy. "What's this bulb on the top for?"

"Bulb?" Saeyoung muttered. He abruptly snatched the phone out of her hand and examined it. "This is…the phone you gave me before. This is supposed to blink red if it's bugged. The sensors can't catch it."

Vanderwood's cry of delight momentarily dispelled the gloominess in the air.

"Right," MC said. "You can send the coordinates to Jumin…Saeyoung?"

He didn't seem to hear them. He kept staring at V, his expression changing from anger to sadness at any one moment. The tension in the air was thick and uncomfortable.

"There's not much battery left," V said, his eyes darting towards the guards. "Whatever you have to do, you'll need to do it quickly."

Saeyoung contemplated a little longer, his fingers hovering over the power button but never pressing down. "This might be a trap," he said, sounding more as if he were convincing himself. "We can't trust him."

"That's true," Vanderwood muttered. "But it's a chance at escape."

Saeyoung gave no response, his focus still plastered onto the phone.

MC licked her lips. "I…I don't think it's a bad idea to try," she offered. "If Saeran found the need to keep it away from me, it's a threat to them, not us. Besides that, I want you to get treated as soon as possible."

The red head glanced up at her, his lips turning downwards in displeasure. He obviously wasn't happy that she disagreed with him, but he seemed to take in what she said. "If you think so…alright."

Vanderwood clicked his tongue in annoyance. "We've worked together for years, but you'll take the word of your little girlfriend over mine?" He pinched Saeyoung's cheek hard. "So devoted, aren't you?"

The younger man pushed his hand away in annoyance. MC frowned, sensing the traces of Saeyoung's old behavior returning. He usually responded lightly, even in situations like this where most people would consider wit inappropriate. Instead, there was something dark brewing behind his increasingly cold mien, and MC feared it would surface soon.

He once again turned to V. "Before that…I need to hear your excuse."

V paused before reluctantly agreeing. "There's no use in hiding anything now. MC, you have questions too, I'm sure."

The offer should have relieved some of the uneasiness weighing down on her shoulders. But, it only grew heavier as Saeyoung started questioning V. She listened patiently, trying to click together the pieces of the story in her mind. But everything seemed off. Saeyoung was finally getting the answers he deserved, but the worried lines creasing his forehead only seemed to get deeper. More so, there was something odd about V's responses…excusing Rika, claiming it to be his fault. Everything contradicted the scarring image of the woman's manipulative smile.

"Saeyoung," V said, shutting his eyes. "I know it can never be enough, but I am sorry."

The younger man heaved a sigh. "It's too late to apologize."

"I know," V said. He suddenly straightened and eagerness entered his demeanor. "But I believe Rika can be like how she was before. Saeran might return to you then."

MC blew a puff of air through her lips, remembering the borderline unhealthy obsession Saeran had with the woman. "That's hopeful…but I'm not sure that's the answer."

V opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by another one of Saeyoung's questions.

"And what about telling everyone that Rika had died? Was that your idea?"

"Yes...It was too dangerous to reveal the truth and involve everyone," V replied. "So I lied that Rika died and tried to distance the RFA from her."

"How do I know that you're not trying to trick us again?"

"Hmm…Well, he's blind," Vanderwood commented, scanning V up and down. "It'll be a piece of cake to take him down."

MC cast him a disapproving look. She eyed V cautiously. "So why were you so adamant on seeing Rika earlier? You could be a spy as far as we know."

"I knew she would've sent you through the…well, their process, if I didn't stall for time," he replied. "I played the bad guy to earn Rika's trust and talk with her."

MC ran her fingers through her hair, trying to wrap her mind around all their hassles in the past few weeks. "I don't get it. All of this—" she gestured vaguely to the cell. "This is all because you and Rika had a fall out a few years ago?"

Regret flickered behind his dull eyes, but he gave no response to her. He turned to Saeyoung once more. MC fell silent as he continued to explain Rika's condition, but her mind was too conflicted to devote her whole attention to it.

What had she gotten into? The idea of Mint Eye was scary enough, but now hearing about Rika's supposed reasoning behind it…MC was starting to realize the depth of the danger they were in right now. Frustration threatened her sanity. All this time, she had been dragged into this…game of Rika's, being used to inadvertently hurt the very people she had wanted to help simply by existing. Did V know all this time? Before she entered the chatroom, was he planning this as well? Did she even have a chance to choose for herself?

"When did Saeran get involved in all this?" Saeyoung's sharp tone snapped her out of her spinning thoughts.

MC braced herself. The hesitance in V's expression made her doubt that he would even answer. But he did…each sentence falling like a weight in her stomach. Rika manipulated Saeran…twisted his mind to hate his twin…for information? The thought made her sick to her stomach.

"So," Saeyoung said in barely a whisper. "I made the special security system to stop my own brother?"

MC felt helpless watching his internal struggle. He stared blankly at the ground, confusion and hurt etched into his features. His fists were clenched tightly, and his knuckles grew white. She feared any more shocking news would send him over the edge. Still…there were more unanswered questions.

"How long has he been exploited?" MC asked when Saeyoung remained in his stunned silence. "It's hard to believe that a year or two made him…well, like that."

She waited patiently for the answer. V opened his mouth, but nothing followed. The unspoken confession remained on his silent tongue, and MC let out a short laugh in disbelief. She always believed relationships could be mended with enough truth…that people could be good no matter what they might've done. For the first time since she entered the RFA, that belief was shaken. Rika and V? It didn't matter their motives…one twisted an innocent boy and the other stayed silent and let it happen. How was that fair?

The room fell into thick silence. The only sound was the occasional footsteps above them. Soon enough, Saeyoung's ragged breaths joined them. MC turned to him, daring to touch his elbow. He didn't look at her, but tears brimmed at the edge of his eyes.

"What were you doing?" Saeyoung's voice finally broke the silence, even though it initially came out quiet and wavering. He took a step forward, his hand hooking under the collar of V's shirt. "When I decided to leave, you told me to trust you. You…you have no idea how hard it was to leave him. What were you doing!"

He grew louder with every syllable. Silent tears streamed down his face. MC winced when V let out a broken apology. Her heart cracked as a few strangled sobs escaped Saeyoung's throat. She hated it. She hated to think how hard he worked for years to protect his brother, only to find his entire world ripped from underneath him.

"I'm sorry will never be enough," Saeyoung replied, his voice cracking. "I will never forgive you, even if you never meant for this to happen. I will never-"

It happened too fast for MC or Vanderwood to intervene. She blinked and Saeyoung had used both hands to shove V against the wall. His fist collided with V's jaw with a sickening crack.

"Saeyoung!" she scolded, though her feet were frozen into place.

Vanderwood was the first to break out of his stupor and rush forward. He tried prying the young hacker off of V. "Hey, hey! Calm down. You're hurt right now."

Saeyoung shoved him off, picking V up from the ground by his shirt. He shook him roughly. "Saeran, my brother…what are you going to do? Turn everything back! It's all because of you!"

"Saeyoung," V rasped. "It's all my fault."

"We were just used. We were innocent, and you two used us," Saeyoung choked. He gritted his teeth and threw V back onto the wall again. "You and that—that savior. I'm going to do everything to destroy both!"

MC hissed as Saeyoung once again swung at V. Blood trickled from the older man's lips.

"Saeyoung, that's enough," MC said, though she was unsure if he even heard her in his rage.

Vanderwood cast a nervous glance towards the entrance. MC didn't need to follow his gaze to know that the guards probably heard the clamor. Whether or not they cared was another issue. "Seven," Vanderwood whispered. "Don't. Not now."

Saeyoung pulled his arm back, ready to land another blow. MC didn't blame him. Not really. He was angry and hurt, and all those years of pure loyalty had only turned around to stab him in the back. Still, MC couldn't let him go on. While V may have deserved, she knew Saeyoung would only deteriorate from guilt later. She stepped forward, clasping his arm and tugging him back. His muscles were taut underneath her fingers, and she wondered how he was stomaching the pain from his wound. "Saeyoung, I understand how you feel. Really! But please think of yourself!"

He ignored her, ramming V back against the wall with surprising strength. MC swallowed the fear that he might do some serious damage and stepped in front of him, pushing back against his chest. "Saeyoung, stop!"

His eyes flickered down to hers, and he abruptly let go of V. He looked down at his own hands, growing more and more pale. He sighed sharply, turning away from her and taking a few paces back. MC exhaled shakily. "You need to calm down," she said, attempting to keep her voice steady, even if she was trembling. She had seen him angry before, but never like this. He only nodded, sending a glare towards V who gasped and coughed on the ground in attempt to recover his breath.

"Th-thank you," the mint haired man muttered.

"Don't thank me yet," MC replied, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. "I…I have questions too. Why me? Did you know that whole time that I was being used as a pawn?"

V wiped the blood from his mouth on his sleeve. "I suspected…Rika had something to do with you when you first appeared."

"So, you let her be used without saying anything?" Saeyoung burst. "She could've been hurt! Kidnapped—blown up! Why the—"

"Saeyoung," MC interjected. He looked at her with disapproval, but she met him equally. He didn't like her talking to V…but she had the right to know how she ended up there. After a few moments, he backed down, and she went on. "So, was Saeran using me for information?"

V shook his head. "They all wanted to absorb you into Mint Eye…along with the rest of the RFA. If I didn't accept you, I knew they would just take you away. You would've disappeared without a trace. But…Saeran did try to take you earlier. It failed because Saeyoung won over him."

MC gnawed on her bottom lip. So, she had no choice after all, whether or not she accepted or refused their invitation. She was unsure if she should've thanked him or not.

She inhaled sharply, taking a moment for her brain to process everything she just learned. "And you? How did you get involved? Aren't you part of Mint Eye?"

Again, V shook his head. "I disguised myself as a disciple and stayed here…to acquire information."

"That's why we couldn't reach you," Saeyoung said from the other side of the cell. He was leaning against the back wall, his right hand hanging loosely by his side and his left roughly tugging at the string of his hoodie.

"So," Vanderwood muttered. "The mystery is solved."

MC wasn't so sure. The story only branched out into further questions, going far deeper than she originally believed. Why her? When had they planned this? Why did they drag two innocent boys into this whole mess? They were only given facts, not reasons.

"I don't know," Saeyoung said. His demeanor seemed a lot calmer, but MC couldn't help but notice the patch of blood on his clothes had gotten larger. "But knowing more isn't going to do anything, unless there's something that will change Saeran back."

"If Rika changes, I think there's a possibility Saeran will realize the truth," V replied.

MC shook her head, giving an exasperated sigh. "How do plan to change her mind?" she asked. "No offense, but being thrown into prison doesn't speak well of your persuasion skills."

V shifted uncomfortably, resting his arms on his knees. "I'll let her destroy me until she's satisfied," he replied. An unsettling determination hardened his features.

"What do you mean?" MC ventured.

Saeyoung pushed himself off the wall and approached them. "He could be lying…about all of this. But it makes sense…" he groaned, raking his fingers through his hair. "I feel so complicated right now. But we need to get out of here first. Vanderwood, turn on the phone. We can access my virtual IP server and tell Jumin where we are. It should take ten minutes."

The group dispersed. V retreated to the other end of the cell, and Vanderwood and Saeyoung attempted to remain in the darker parts of the area. MC stood in the middle, unsure of herself…and her place in all of this.

Her eyes landed on V as he absentmindedly drew lines in the dirt. The frustration she felt minutes ago had subsided. Before she could change her mind, she crouched down beside him. Her trust in him was shattered, and she was still angry at him for what he'd done. But that didn't mean she felt no compassion. "Are you okay?" she asked.

V nodded numbly. "I deserved it," he said. His breath hitched in the middle of a bitter laugh. "I've made a mess, haven't I?"

"Yeah," she replied bluntly. She lowered herself into a sitting position, examining the scratches on her wrist which had begun to burn again.

"MC," he hesitated, his mouth opening and closing before he let out a sigh. "Do you think…maybe…he might forgive me?"

She scoffed. "I thought you said that he shouldn't."

"I did," V said. "And I believe it. It's just I hoped…Nevermind."

She pursed her lips, once again battling the conflict between her head screaming at her to ignore him and her gut telling her that V's motives went far deeper than holding secrets. She couldn't seem to figure him out. "You never know," she shrugged. "It'll take a lot, but maybe…"

"Do you ever feel like you want to fix everything, only to find out you can't?" he said, his head falling back against the wall.

MC hummed. "You have no idea."

"I've been going about it the wrong way," he said, shifting his eyes to where Saeyoung and Vanderwood spoke in hushed tones. "I know that now."

All the negative emotions she had before dissipated at his confession. There was something about the way he spoke that truly reflected his inner remorse. He continued to say he didn't deserve forgiveness, but MC could tell he was aching to be accepted again. She wondered how long he had spent alone, hoping for Rika to return his affections.

He rubbed his eyes wearily. "If God gives me the chance, I want to try to fix things," he said. "I made Rika the way she is, so maybe I can help her again—even if she hates me afterwards. I'll make sure Saeran and Saeyoung are fine, and if they want I'll disappear forever. And you…I don't think I can ever apologize to you. You were the most innocent one dragged into all this."

MC stayed silent, unsure how to respond. The way he spoke almost sounded like a will. Just before it grew awkward, Saeyoung called her name. He gestured for her to join him, shooting V a skeptical look. She didn't fight him and stood.

She brushed herself off and took a step forward before pausing. With a small sigh, she turned back around to face V. "Listen…if you want to start fixing things, I think you need to start being honest with yourself—and with others. Hiding things only hurts all parties involved."

His lips turned upwards. Despite his eyes not focusing, there was still kindness behind them. "Thank you," he nodded. "And, MC? Take care of Saeyoung. I've known him many years, and…well, you know how he acts like he's okay."

She knew that all too well.

"MC," Saeyoung called again.

She took a deep breath and returned to him. When she sat next to him, he didn't tear his eyes away from the phone in his hands. She wrapped her arms around his middle. He shuddered underneath her touch, and it only beckoned her to hold him tighter. "I love you."

Saeyoung tensed for a moment. "Why the sudden confession?" he said, his words coming out weakly.

"Because I can see the guilt gnawing at your conscious," she replied. "I just thought you needed the reminder."

"I should've never left Saeran—"

"You had no choice," she intervened. "We'll get him back, Saeyoung. We've gotten this far."

He cleared his throat and turned his head away from Vanderwood. MC didn't miss the tear he dashed away with his thumb before he pressed a kiss to her hair.

His lips twitched in a half smile as paused to pat her head. "I love you, too," he said.

MC watched patiently as Saeyoung typed away strings of code she couldn't decipher until finally the phone shut off. Her breath hitched. Was that it? Their last means of escape gone?

"Don't worry," Saeyoung said, setting the phone aside. "I got the message out. It should be enough."

"So now what?"

Vanderwood leaned back stretching his legs out in front of him. "The only thing we can do," he said. "We wait and hope your rich friend gets here in time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, V....sigh. Hope you liked this chapter! It was interesting trying to make MC a bit more involved in the whole...mini interrogation scene. I hope it came out well! As always, thank you for reading, and I always enjoy hearing feedback from you guys! Have a good weekend. 
> 
> Also, Happy Birthday to Zen! Yay:D


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung tries to make some resolutions before things potentially get worse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! Hope you all are having a good week:) Here's another chapter for you~ Hope you enjoy it!

Saeyoung's mental state was on the verge of ruin, and the steady drip of the leaking ceiling was threatening to obliterate it completely. He hadn't noticed the leak before, but since his argument with V, the group had fallen into dead silence. Besides that, the drip seemed to fall in exact unison with his throbbing arm, reminding him of the constant pain.

Vanderwood and MC had distanced themselves from him, claiming he "needed rest." They instead resorted to staying near the bars in case anyone else came or if the guards slipped up in their casual talk. Saeyoung glanced sideways at V. The latter was huddled in the opposite corner, his knees pulled up to his chest. His eyes were shut and his breathing was so steady, the young hacker wondered if he had actually fallen asleep.

Only being able to bear the leak for a few moments longer, Saeyoung inched himself sideways, stopping only when the irritating sound had ceased. He didn't realize he had moved close to V until he heard a shuffling. Of course…with his sight nearly gone, his hearing must have grown more sensitive.

"Saeyoung?"

He flinched at his own name…or rather he shied away from the person who had called him. The unwelcomed conflict of justifying his previous actions and regretting them rose within his mind again. Another threat to his precious sanity…Maybe it was a bad idea to come here.

He stayed quiet, not wanting fuel for either of his own internal arguments.

V sighed, the edge of his mouth twitching upwards. "You always did have a bad habit of tapping your fingers when you were anxious. Do you remember you almost drove Jaehee insane at the last RFA party?"

Saeyoung's eyes darted to his left hand. He wasn't even aware he had started the drumming. He swallowed, wiping off the sweat from his palms.

"Saeyoung," V repeated.

"I don't want to talk to you," he bit out.

V sucked air between his teeth. "I know," he said. "But…can you at least listen?"

"So you can talk your way out of what you've done?" Saeyoung shot back.

V shook his head. "I know what I did…I messed things up, Saeyoung. And I won't apologize because it's not enough. Just…hear me out."

Saeyoung pressed his lips in a fine line, turning his gaze away from the older man. V continued after a few moments of no response. "I know I can never completely fix what happened. But I would like to try and make things better after all this—"

Saeyoung snorted. "You tried to make things better five years ago, and we see how that turned out," he replied. There was no malice in his voice. He didn't have the energy to be bitter. At this point, he was stating reality…the unfortunate reality that turned out to be his life.

V nodded slowly, his head resting on hand. "Yeah…sorry. I guess I let myself hope a little."

A twinge of guilt stabbed at Saeyoung's chest as he now viewed the black and blue bruise on V's cheek, near his eye. He looked down at his own knuckles, mirroring the same colors. He had never in his life lost his temper like that—or let his emotions overflow to lash out in violence. Not to this degree.

He exhaled shakily, willing an apology to roll of his tongue. But it remained firmly lodged in his throat. He couldn't manage it. Every time he dared, he heard Saeran screaming in the middle of the night because of whatever they did to him here.

Still, he could sense the weariness and pain radiating off the other man…just like V could surmise his anxiety by an inconspicuous habit. Despite all the lies, Saeyoung could never erase the connection between them. The years of knowing each other resulted in an invisible string that tied them together. The pleasant and unpleasant sides of V were both burned into his memory, and he could never forget. Though now, he desperately wished he could, even if to stop the remorse inundating his weary conscience.

Fighting against his better judgment, he reached out a hand and brushed against the marks on V's face. "Does it hurt badly?"

"No," V said. "Trust me…I've dealt with worse just trying to photograph the perfect shot."

A laugh threatened to escape Saeyoung's mouth, but he quickly suppressed it. He ran his fingers over his sore knuckles. "Sorry," he managed.

"I deserved it," V admitted. The resolution behind the words shocked Saeyoung. They weren't apologetic or pitying…but they were grounded in conviction. He truly did blame himself.

"Probably," Saeyoung replied. He stiffened as silence fell between them again. It was funny. Just a few minutes ago, he hoped V wouldn't speak, but now he wished for something to fill the emptiness. The tension between them only reminded him of all the unresolved emotions raging within himself. He understood what V had done…but he still didn't understand why.

"You know, when you told me to see you as a father, I took you literally." The statement flew from his mouth before he could stop it. Perhaps it was the heightened pain of his wound that seemed to extract his inner thoughts.

V shifted, his head falling against the wall. He said nothing, but Saeyoung found himself going on. "Because of the agency, I wasn't allowed to be recognized for anything I did…even the RFA was limited in their knowledge, but…I had you. You knew and you seemed impressed, and for awhile, it was enough for me to make you proud."

The confession was enough to bring heat in his cheeks. He glanced sideways at V, half expecting some sort of backlash. He wasn't even sure why he was saying this now…perhaps it had been festering inside of his mind since the days at Rika's apartment-or longer. Who knew? He continued to look at V, despite the lack of a verbal response from the older man. The traces of the man he knew were barely there underneath the shame. He truly had changed. It's a wonder Saeyoung hadn't noticed before it all went downhill.

"I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you've done," Saeyoung sighed. "I can't forgive you for messing my life up, but before we part ways forever, maybe I should thank you."

"For what?" V croaked. His voice, usually lighthearted and calm, was thick with emotion, making Saeyoung's throat constrict.

"For the small things," he replied. "I…wasn't always in the greatest place with the whole agency thing. I wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place, if it weren't for you convincing me to leave Saeran, but…at least I didn't give up on life because of you."

A few tears streaked V's face. He excused himself, standing abruptly and moving away from him. Saeyoung turned away, unable to handle the upheaval of his own emotions, let alone having to view someone he had come to care for so much. Still, he felt lighter somehow. The words were difficult to speak, but they were no longer weighing him down. He would be free of V…of his past…once all this was over. He could start something knew…he hoped.

A familiar pair of shoes appeared in his line of sight before MC crouched beside him. "I thought you were resting," she muttered.

"Haven't you learned to give up on me when it comes to sleep?" he said with a soft chuckle. The sound of soft crying carried over from V, killing any attempts Saeyoung may have had to lighten the mood.

MC's brows furrowed. "What did you say to him?"

Saeyoung absentmindedly drew lines in the dirt, attempting to hold himself steady. "Nothing. He's probably overwhelmed with everything. Anyway, I thought you were watching the guards?"

"They disappeared," she replied dismissively. The statement unnerved Saeyoung, but they were already at rock bottom, right? MC tilted her head so her eyes could search his. "Hey…we're going to be okay, right?"

He lifted his eyes at the question. It wasn't one he expected from her, especially not after her tenacity just a few hours before. Then again, he wasn't expecting the fear behind her usually bright eyes either. He cupped her cheek, his thumb gently grazing across a small cut in her skin. "We're going to be fine."

She swallowed, her focus darting across the ground. "I mean, you're going to be okay, right? You're not…it's just I noticed how pale you looked just now, and I—"

Her voice grew more frantic with every word, causing Saeyoung's chest to ache. MC always tried to be so strong. She always cared for others so much, that sometimes he forgot she wasn't invisible against anxiety. And there had been a lot to feed her worry. He shushed her gently, his lips feathering across her trembling ones.

"Trust me," he said in a whisper.

She nodded, her forehead pressed against his. "Sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me. I just…"

"It's natural to be scared," he said. He glanced over to V once more. "I think…everyone is just shaken up now that the truth came out."

"Yeah," she choked. "Thanks."

He was painfully aware of how weak his limbs were when he couldn't pull her down next to him. She didn't comply under his touch either him this time. Her hand covered his own. "Saeyoung, you really don't look too good."

He couldn't even protest. It had been too warm hours ago, and now his fingers were so cold, they were shaking.

"I agree," Vanderwood added, joining them. He shook his head and leaned back against the wall. "You don't think something will happen to us before Mr. Powerful comes for us, do you? My only wish before I die is to smoke a cig."

"No one is dying," MC said, though her words were twinged with hesitancy.

"He'll be here in a couple hours," Saeyoung said, trying to at least sound sure. Really, it was more of a prayer than a statement to him.

Vanderwood slid to the ground, his arm propped onto his knee. "By the way, what was the last thing you did before the phone died? I saw you writing some strange script."

Saeyoung rubbed his neck, letting out a nervous chuckle. "Oh…that? It's a calling command…for the robot cat. I created the language, so it won't make sense to you."

He omitted the part about making the language when he should've been working on the last project for the agency. Vanderwood started, his eyes growing wide. "What?" he burst, his pitch higher than usual. "You created your own language?"

MC interrupted before he could respond. "Wait, Meowy? You called Meowy?"

As if on cue, a squeaky voice, far too cheery for the current doleful atmosphere, echoed in the cell. "Food delivery!"

Saeyoung winced as Vanderwood yelped in fear, going on about it spitting fire. Besides, that was the robot dog. After being chased around the garage by it, Saeyoung would've thought the older man would've remembered. He almost felt insulted.

"Good job, Meowy," he smiled watching the white robot roll over to them. He gave it an affectionate pat on the head. "Can't believe it got here without getting caught."

"Why does it have a tomato in its mouth?" MC asked, retrieving the one the robot held openly.

"I noticed them growing north of here when I analyzed the building weeks ago," he replied as the robot continued to spit up five more tomatoes. He and MC exchanged amused glances when Vanderwood once again cried out in terror as if it appeared as a monster instead of a cute kitten. "You need to eat something, MC."

She froze, staring blankly at him. He half wondered if he had forgotten a tomato allergy from her medical records. But then, she suddenly covered her eyes with her hand and started to laugh. Saeyoung was confused at the reaction, although his heart sunk when he saw tears leaking out behind her palm. She wiped them against her sleeve. "W-what's wrong?" he asked, as a half sob and half laugh came bubbled from her lips.

She shook her head before sloppily pecking his cheek. "You're so thoughtful, sometimes I wonder if you're human."

"Oh," he breathed. Her kind words always seemed to render him speechless.

"That's what makes you wonder?" Vanderwood scoffed. "Have you seen that—that thing! Who makes weapons that look cute?"

MC placed a tomato in the red head's hands. "I know you probably don't feel hungry, but you should really eat something too-to keep your strength up." She turned to the cat robot. "Meowy, did you bring any bandages?"

Saeyoung grimaced before the cat even responded. "That was not in the order, meow."

He concentrated on the tomato, the glares of MC and Vanderwood sending prickles down his back. "I—er—didn't have time to do that."

"Didn't have time or you just didn't think about it?" MC said.

"The latter," he admitted. He brushed her off before she could scold him further. "Meowy, what happened to the guards?"

"Three humans are guarding, meow," it chirped. "And a woman caught me on my way, meow."

"What?" Vanderwood and Saeyoung blurted at the same time.

"W-which woman?" MC asked.

"Long blond meow."

The three of them stiffened at the response. Long…blond…that meant…

When V breathlessly called her name, it confirmed their horror. MC stood, rushing forward to the bars to double check. Vanderwood followed suit, though he crouched down to help Saeyoung to his feet. "We're in trouble, aren't we?" he muttered under his breath.

"Probably," Saeyoung said, casting a dubious glance towards the entrance. Vanderwood attempted to help him forward, but the young hacker pulled him back. "Vanderwood, wait."

He looked down at the young hacker expectantly. His expression softened as if realizing what Saeyoung was going to say next. "Is this your speech?"

"What?" Saeyoung furrowed his brows.

Vanderwood exhaled sharply. "Ever since we got here, I figured you would be giving one of those final speeches. You know…in case something happens."

Saeyoung paled at his own predictability. He cleared his throat. "I'm serious though," he replied. "If Rika's coming…it's likely something will happen to me. If it does, keep MC safe. Just…get her out of here and make sure she's somewhere safe—away from prying eyes."

The solemnness—no, sadness—overtaking the older man's features surprised Saeyoung. Vanderwood nodded and clicked his tongue. "She'll be alright. I'll make sure of it," he said. He yanked Saeyoung back before he stepped any further. "But that doesn't mean you should do anything reckless to get out of here. Pace yourself, Seven."

Saeyoung raised an eyebrow. "Aww, is that a hint of care, Miss Vanderwood?"

"Don't read into it, you weirdo," Vanderwood retorted.

He released Saeyoung near the bars. The young hacker clutched the bar with his good hand, and gingerly locked fingers with MC with his other. He gave her an affirming nod before shifting his focus towards the door.

Heels clacked against the stone steps, and Rika appeared soon after. Saeyoung exhaled shakily, memories of the once motherly woman swimming in his mind. The last time he saw her, he remembered the warmth that seemed to start in his stomach and spread to every inch of his body. Now…this was a completely different Rika—or perhaps it was the true Rika all along. Instead of affection and comfort, dread sat like a heavy weight behind his chest.

He wasn't sure what to expect…but it couldn't be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, more tears. When will it end? Ha. Anywho, I hope you liked this one. I always felt that V and Saeyoung should've had at least one more little discussion alone...so that's where this came from. Hope you enjoyed it~ As always I love to hear your feedback! Thanks for reading, and have a good weekend! See you soon~


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC thought no one would get hurt...she was dead wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Happy Friday! Can you believe Secret End 1 is almost over??? Ahhh! Hope you enjoy this one;)

MC had always prided herself in remaining calm through most situations. But after the constant battering of dangerous events, the small cracks in her composure were growing into chasms. First the bomb….then fleeing the agency... and now a woman she thought dead two weeks ago was standing in front of her. To make things worse, Saeyoung was so ashen that MC feared he might bleed to death.

She hoped he couldn't feel her trembling fingers against his hand. Despite her moment of weakness a few minutes before where she practically begged for his reassurance, she wanted to remain strong until the end.

Rika observed them all for a few moments before letting out a fond sigh. "I always knew you were a genius, Saeyoung," she smiled, waving her hand towards the robot cat. "I am sure I've made the right decision about you now. You are to be congratulated."

Her green eyes shifted to MC's. That familiar shudder ran down her spine as she met the empty glances. "All of you are," Rika said. "You'll be joining are eternal party very soon."

"Rika," V's urgent voice cut over hers. "Stop involving innocent people…you said you'd wait a day."

Her eyes hardened, although she didn't look at him. "I was going to," she admitted. She returned her focus back to Saeyoung, her fingers reaching past the bars to touch his face. To MC's displeasure, he let her. "But, Saeran mentioned that he lost a phone. We couldn't have you run away before you are finally given the chance at happiness."

MC and Saeyoung exchanged glances. The phone…of course it would have only been a matter of time until Saeran realized it had gone missing.

"Rika, what happened to you?" Saeyoung said. "What did you to Saeran?"

She shrugged. "I'm sure you were shocked when you saw him. But you have to admire his loyalty. He even got a tattoo of Mint Eye's logo on his arm!"

Saeyoung pressed himself further against the bars. MC couldn't tell if he was using it for support or his emotions were rising again. "What did you do him?" he repeated, his voice low and cool. She didn't seem to appreciate the response. Her smile faltered.

"I saved him," she bit out. "And I'll save you too soon. But it'll take time to make sure your brain is happy. You need to go through a certain process. It's very long and painful, but Saeran pushed through."

Saeyoung stepped back as if he were slapped across the face. This had no effect on Rika however. MC had little time to worry about Saeyoung as Rika now stepped closer to her. "I could've started the process earlier on you," she said, her eyes once again calculating MC's entire body. "But it seems Saeran grew a bit too emotional. Oh well."

"What?" MC breathed. "You mean you were going to—"

"Bring them upstairs," Rika interrupted.

MC found herself glancing sideways at V. He knew all this. At the time, she had thought he riled Saeran up so he could get closer to Rika. Now, her belief was shaken. So, he was telling the truth earlier. He had been trying to save them. But he was also loyal to Rika? Whose side was he on?

She couldn't properly think through things once the prison door creaked open. She lost her grip on Saeyoung's hand when her arms were grabbed by a burly man. She twisted her head to see what was happening. Another two men each took Vanderwood and Saeyoung, although Rika and V seemed to be exchanging a few heated words; MC couldn't hear what they were though.

For a few terrifying moments, she thought they might separate her and Saeyoung again, but once they reached the top of the stairs, they were grouped together with a line of guards behind them.

"What's going on?" Vanderwood hissed.

"I don't know," MC said, slipping her arm under Saeyoung when he lost balance. "What did she mean by making our brains happy? This is all going so fast."

"I'm sure they were preparing for this long before we came," Saeyoung interjected. His voice sounded steady, but she could see the strain wrinkling the edges of his eyes at the effort.

Before they could discuss any longer, they were directed to walk down the hall. This is how it was for the next twenty minutes….being rushed down winding halls. MC recognized a few things from her hazy memories…a painting or a vase here and there. "Oh my gosh," she muttered. "They're taking us into the main room."

"That can't bode well," Vanderwood said.

She wished her intuition was wrong, but it wasn't. She once again found herself walking down the plush carpet with dozens of empty eyes following her and the others down the aisle. Rika was once again seated on the dais. It was a wonder how she got there before them. Then again, MC remembered the expanse of the building and how many secret hallways were built inside it. It was the reason she and Saeyoung escaped the place last time.

V had been brought forward too, although he stood off to the side.

They stopped halfway to the centre. The chants of the disciples made MC shiver. Rika had said she wanted to make them happy. How could this…hallow, blind devotion hold any true happiness?

"Hey, you're really unwell right now, Seven," Vanderwood said, yanking MC's thoughts away from the disciples closing in on them. "You won't be able to walk like this. How are you even managing to stand up?"

He was right. Saeyoung was whiter than a sheet of paper. Besides that, he blinked far too often as if he were fighting sleep. She swallowed, trying to loosen her dry throat. "I hope someone saw that SOS on the messenger."

"I'm sure Jumin noticed," Saeyoung forced. "But…he's far away. Most likely five hours by car."

"It's been three hours so far," Vanderwood muttered. "Two more hours…will we still be alive then? That queen seems to have a bad temper…"

Saeyoung's hand pressed against MC's head. His half lidded eyes met hers. "MC…I'll try to stall for time. Please be safe…until Jumin gets here."

MC's heart leapt into her throat. What was he saying? She waited a few seconds, gauging whether or not he would change his wording. When his gaze fell to the floor, it only confirmed his implications. She grabbed his chin with her fingers, forcing him to look at her. "Don't you dare."

His hand weakly pulled down at her wrist. A determined spark hardened his features, reminding her of those attempts to push her away at the apartment. "I'm getting you out of here."

"Saeyoung, you're already injured!"

"I'll be fine," he snapped. "I'm getting you out. And…I need to get to Saeran."

MC opened her mouth to object, but her voice was drowned out by the loud chants. She turned forward as Rika spoke. "These three will cleanse themselves of the unnecessary knowledge acquired in the contaminated world. They will give their all to participate in the party of paradise that only pursues everlasting happiness and joy."

She rose from her chair and ceremoniously approached them. The disciples quietly began their chant again. Rika clasped her hands and grinned at them. "What an addition you will be. The lonely agent…the broken twin…the compassionate girl. You will all find your purpose here, I'm sure."

MC clenched her teeth together, holding back the acidic comment threatening to slip from her tongue. She was sure it wouldn't help the situation. She didn't breathe again until Rika moved over to V. "But before that, we will need to proceed with the cleansing of the arrogant sinner."

It was the first time MC had heard Rika's voice shake—with anger or sadness, she wasn't sure. Despite the rigid features on the woman's face, there was still some sort of softness in her eyes. MC wondered if the remnants of the old Rika were buried somewhere underneath the twisted cult founder.

"What do you think will happen to him?" MC ventured.

"Maybe they'll torture him like they do with failed agents," Vanderwood said, shrugging his shoulders in discomfort.

"I don't want to know," Saeyoung said. He was fiddling around with the upper arm of his right sleeve. Was he loosening the gun? MC wouldn't normally condone the use of the gun…but at this point, it would probably serve as a leverage for them all.

The three of them jumped when the double doors behind them slammed open. "Savior!" Saeran's voice bellowed in the large room, silencing the mantra of the other disciples. "Didn't you say you will not accept Luciel as a disciple?"

He charged past them to reach the blonde. The latter let out a huff of annoyance. "I told you Saeyoung will be a great asset to Mint Eye. Do not interrupt the ceremony, Saeran."

MC watched as desperation took over his features, transforming the calm Saeran into the rash Unknown. He pointed a shaky figure towards Saeyoung. "I can be greater than him. You told me that you chose me instead of him. You said I had the greater potential!"

Rika grabbed his arm, her nails digging into his tattoo. She hissed something in ear that only seemed to make him more upset. "You promised…that I would get my revenge. I risked my life to bring him here. But you're going to let him live? He's invited to our everlasting party?"

"Hey, this is good," Vanderwood whispered. "He's stalling for us."

Vanderwood was barely able to finish his comment on Saeyoung's appearance when the younger man lurched sideways. MC grabbed a hold of his waist just as Vanderwood grabbed his left arm. A streak of red stained her sleeve. "You're bleeding again," she said with some difficulty.

Saeyoung didn't reply. He inhaled deeply before speaking. "Vanderwood…untie the thing…on my arm."

"We were going to use that when someone comes to save us," he replied. "What are you planning to do?"

Saeyoung's amber eyes darted back to his brother who was frantically running his hands through his hair as Rika continued to speak with him. MC saw the guards closest to the dais reach down to their weapons.

"I can't…let them take…Saeran…" Saeyoung said. He seemed to give up on Vanderwood and turned to her. "Please…"

MC flinched as Saeran shouted again. Whatever Rika had told him only escalated the situation. The blonde woman turned to the guards. "Take Saeran away. He needs to be brainwashed again."

Enthusiasm drained from the younger twin's face. "What?" he stammered.

"Yes, madam," one of the larger disciples bowed before taking a step forward.

Saeyoung's grip on MC's arm tightened, bringing her attention back to him. "MC, please! I need your help," he rasped. She couldn't deny him after the look in his eyes. For some reason, the image of those same eyes staring up at her lifelessly flashed in her mind. The thought made her hesitate. She knew of his self-sacrificing tendencies…she couldn't give him the fuel for it.

Saeyoung must've guessed her thoughts. His detached his left hand from Vanderwood to run it over her hair. "I made a promise to you, didn't I? I'll see it through."

MC's emotions threatened to overwhelm her again. So she pressed her lips in a fine line and nodded. Her unsteady hands made their way to the bandages under his shirt. He had done a decent job of untangling the weapon from underneath, allowing her to slip it out with discretion. She placed the gun in his hands. "Now what?" she asked, her voice cracking against her will.

He hoisted himself to his feet and pressed a cool kiss to the top of her head. "I'm sorry if this makes you worry."

For someone who had been bleeding for the past day, he moved quickly. MC and Vanderwood let out cries of protest, but it was too late. He pushed himself past them and the crowd until he stood in front of Saeran, facing the men and women in green and white. "No," he said, pushing one of them back when they grabbed at Saeran. "Don't take my brother. If you touch him…"

He raised the gun in the air. Murmurs rippled across the room. Rika waved her hand and two men grabbed Vanderwood and MC.

"Stop it!" Saeyoung shouted, grabbing the room's attention once more. He pulled down on the gun's hammer before directing it towards the men who held them. "Let my family go."

MC felt her arms being released as the men backed away. Saeyoung gave her a small nod before once again facing the crowd in front of Saeran. "Rika," he called. "We're going home. Just let us go…"

Saeran was visibly shaking behind the red head. "You…dare block me? I'm going to—I'm going to kill you!"

MC winced at his piercing shrieks. She moved sideways to get a better view as more and more disciples began filing in. Vanderwood had grabbed the edge of her sleeve, but she didn't care. She had to keep an eye on Saeyoung.

A wave of nausea threatened to hit as Saeyoung's arm lowered and his breaths became less frequent. "Vanderwood," MC called.

"I see it," he replied, his grip on her even tighter now.

She stood firmly in place as Saeyoung turned, placed his hand on Saeran's arm, and said a few quiet words. The next few heartbeats happened all too fast, despite each scene being painfully slow to watch.

First, MC heard the clatter of the gun hitting the ground. Second, she watched the last bit of color dusting Saeyoung's cheeks trickle from his face. Third, she felt the crowd thicken around her as more disciples flocked towards the twins. In the last moment, Saeyoung's bright red hair disappeared from her view as his body slunk to the ground with a quiet thump.

Her stunned silence lasted a second before a strangled cry laced with a mixture fear, grief, and dread tore from her vocal chords. She called his name in desperation, staring at his motionless form on the ground. Her feet attempted to run to him, but found nothing underneath. It took her several moments to realize someone was holding her waist and dangling her off the ground.

"MC! Stop it!" Vanderwood's gruff tone snapped her out of her crazed outburst, but doing nothing to dissuade her resolve.

The noise of the commotion came crashing into her ears, making her head spin.

She fought against Vanderwood, hitting him with her fists, although she knew she was barely doing anything. "Let me go!" she grumbled. "I need to—he's—let me get to him!"

No matter how much she squirmed, he wouldn't let her go. "MC, listen to me!" he barked. "We—"

He was interrupted when the crowd suddenly dispersed, retreating to the ends of the room. MC thought Rika had ordered it until she saw Saeran clutching his head…the gun held tightly in his hand. His erratic movements only made the crowd worse, ducking and shoving others aside.

"Get away from me!" he bellowed, pointing the gun nowhere in particular. "All of you…"

Despite her frenzied brain wanting nothing more but to rush to Saeyoung's crumpled form, she managed to remind herself that Saeran had a loaded weapon. Her sangfroid convinced Vanderwood enough to finally release her. As soon as she was placed on the ground, she took a few steps forward only to check if Saeyoung was still breathing…he had to be okay…

She jumped when Saeran whirled on her, pointing the gun at her head. "Don't come near me! Don't—if you do, I'll—I'll shoot you!"

"Saeran," she choked. "Saeran, please…just let me through—"

"No!" he snapped. His fingers scraped against his scalp. "Not you! You…you twist things here." He tapped the handle of the gun on his temple. "You mix things up here…just stop!"

He squeezed his eyes shut, bring both hands to hold his head. "Stop," he grunted. "My head…it hurts…make it stop!"

MC didn't have the chance to respond…or calculate what was happening. Vanderwood abruptly yanked her back, gaining a tight grip on her arm.

"What's happening?" V called out. "Rika?"

Of course….V couldn't see anything of what happened. But he shouldn't have spoken.

"My head…" Saeran went on, stumbling back and forth like a madman. "It feels like it's going to explode."

A strain of pity interrupted the bombardment of anxiety within MC's thoughts. She could see his pain, though she couldn't decipher what exactly was happening. Only that the disciples were growing uneasy.

"Disciples," Rika said, raising her arms in the air. Her attempts to appear calm were failing. "Do not be alarmed! This is only a test given to us." She turned to her guards. "Give him the meds—now!"

"Seven!" Vanderwood hissed as Saeran wandered farther away from his unconscious twin. "Hey! Wake up!"

MC once again tried inching forward, only to have Saeran point the gun at her again. She lifted her hands. "Saeran," she said quietly. "Saeran…I just want to get past."

He had listened to her before. Maybe…maybe she could get to him now. He still kept his aim towards her. "She…She's just like him, right?" he said, tilting his head. Who was he talking to? "She'll just leave like him…no, she cares like him. No! Ugh!"

Once again, he spun on his heel and paced back and forth. MC swore under her breath as Vanderwood made her back off. "I would get to Seven if I could," he said apologetically. "But if you get shot by his brother, it'll help no one."

She prickled at his blunt words, but she knew he was right. She dashed away the tears that started flowing again out of frustration. Why did Saeyoung do something so rash? They were supposed to stick together!

"Savior," Saeran groaned. "There's no way you would do this to me…you saved me…No way you'd do this to me. But you've changed…ever since that man came."

His last words were said with an air of resolution as he turned towards V and Rika. A bitter smile replaced the anguished scowl on his lips. Bile rose to MC's throat as Saeran waved the gun wildly towards V. "It's all because of you…that this happened to me!" he screeched.

MC had just noticed his flailing gestures had ceased and his arm became precise when Vanderwood shoved her to the ground. Then everything happened at once.

V crying out Saeran's name…the sound of a gunshot…Rika's screams…MC had thought nobody was going to die here. She was sure she was wrong now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor...well, poor everyone at this point:( Hope you all enjoyed this part. As always, I love to hear from you, and all of your support so far has been very helpful and encouraging, so thank you! I will see you all next week, and please enjoy your Easter<3 Talk to you soon:)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all over...but is the hardest really behind them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost to Secret End 2...just a little longer. Here's another chapter for you all. Hope you enjoy!

Rika's cries of anguish reverberated in MC's ears louder than the initial gunshot. She pushed herself onto her knees, unwilling to turn her eyes towards where V was. She lifted her gaze to Saeran, who had staggered back to the ground, the gun sitting lazily in his hands. He wore a smile on his face, as if he didn't just shoot a man.

MC had little energy to worry about it now. In the midst of the chaos…of the disciples cowering, of Rika screaming, of her own body threatening to freeze from shock…she could only think of one thing. She pushed herself onto her hands and began a slow crawl towards Saeyoung's still body. Vanderwood lunged for her leg, but she dodged him. The thick of the crowd separated them, giving her a straight path.

Saeran wore a dazed look on his face as he looked up at her. He leaned his head on one hand. "I did it…I ended it…" he said. His smile had completely disappeared now, replaced by a pained frown. "Oh…my head…my head…"

He still held a weapon, but MC didn't care. She couldn't care less if he shot her now. But something inside her knew he wouldn't. As she suspected, she passed straight by him without an issue.

Finally, her fingers grasped onto Saeyoung's familiar black jacket. He had fallen on his side, his red blood soaking into the carpet.

"S-Saeyoung?" she said, her voice hoarse and dry all of a sudden. She turned him onto his back before pulling his head onto her lap. His eyes were shut behind his cracked glasses. She cupped his cheek gently. She could almost imagine him leaning into her touch, as he usually did. But he didn't. His skin was cold and white, and his chapped lips parted. She stared at his mouth waiting for some sort of response….some sort of movement.

"H-hey, come on," she choked. "You're faking this, right? This was just a distraction. You can wake up now."

She knew it wasn't true, but somewhere in her scattered brain, her logic was thrown to the wind. She placed hand on his chest and shook him gently. He didn't rouse. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Saeyoung…come on!" her voice caught on every syllable. She wanted to scream herself, but she could at least control herself that much.

"Quick. Let me check his pulse," Vanderwood said, appearing on the opposite side of her. Obviously, the commotion had made the security drop their guard. The older man placed his fingers on Saeyoung's neck. MC stared at him expectantly. His eyes met hers briefly, as his hand fell to his side. "It's…It's getting slower."

"What?" MC burst.

"He lost a lot of blood," Vanderwood said. "Besides that, he was probably in a lot more pain than he was letting on. He needs medical attention-"

His words were cut off by a shriek. They both turned to Rika, who was now in hysterics. She yanked at her own hair as tears streaked her cheeks. The room fell silent save for her gasping sobs. In that moment, MC finally saw the woman the RFA praised. There was no coldness in her eyes…but there was so much sadness. MC could never condone what she had done, as Rika wept over V, a strain of compassion and pity rushed through her.

Three loud thuds interrupted the unsettling quiet throughout the room.

"The door is open. Back off! Three…two….one…"

MC watched as the disciples shuffled away from the double doors. Her heart sunk and her mind turned to the worst possible situation. Did Mint Eye have enemies? Did the agency finally catch up to them? Her fears paralyzed her in place. She pulled Saeyoung closer, bracing herself for the worst.

The doors burst open, and a handful of men in suits yielding guns filed into the room. Vanderwood pushed himself up on his knees to get a better view. "Is it…?"

When no one gave resistance, a man in the middle placed a finger to his ear. "We are in, sir, over."

More men than MC could count charged into the room, seizing the confused disciples and leading them out of the building.

"J-Jumin?" MC stammered in realization. Her heart slammed against her chest at the thought of help, but her tongue was slow. She was thankful for Vanderwood who had enough wits to shout for help immediately.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, and for the first time, she saw his features soften. "Hey, it's going to be all right."

Her eyes snapped to V who now had blood seeping from his chest. She desperately wished she could call upon the positivity that kept her afloat these past weeks, but somewhere in hour, it vanished.

Several of Jumin's men rushed over to them, crouching down to speak to them. "Are any of you MC or Saeyoung?" one of them asked.

MC nodded. "Y-yeah. Saeyoung—his arm—um, he fainted…please, he needs help."

Gosh, she couldn't even form a coherent sentence right now.

The man's attention landed on the blood in the carpet. "Medical assistance is coming now. Please remain calm, miss. Mr. Han will be here soon."

They were quicker than MC thought. Within a few moments, men and women dressed in scrubs pushed past them, extricating Saeyoung from her arms. She tried following them as they placed him on a stretched and pushed him away, but a hand held her back. Just seeing him grow farther and farther increased her panic. She was sure she was on the verge of a mental breakdown already.

"Wait, I want to go—"

"Let them do their job, MC."

MC thought it was Vanderwood speaking to her, but he was in front of her, not behind her. Besides that, the voice sounded deeper…calmer…and familiar. She turned and saw a man in a three-piece suit towering over her.

She wasn't sure why she did so-perhaps it was just the relief that swept over her in that moment, or perhaps she was just glad to see a friendly, unbruised face after everything that happened-but she threw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.

Jumin tensed, waiting several long moments before his hand patted her head. "It's going to be okay now."

She pushed herself away from him. "I'm sorry!" she burst, wiping her fresh tears on her sleeve. "I just—Sorry, I must be so dirty and—"

"MC," he interrupted, placing his hands on his shoulders. "I don't care about that. We're working on fixing everything. I came as soon as I got the message from V. Are you hurt anywhere?"

From V…right. Saeyoung had used V's phone to send the SOS. It must've sent under his name. Suddenly a thought hit her. She looked up at Jumin, seeing strains of distress wrinkling his face and the beginning of dark circles underneath his eyes. But overall, he seemed…fine. Her chest constricted as she realized…he came straight to find them. He didn't notice yet.

He furrowed his brows. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Her jaw quivered as she parted her lips in attempts to speak. "Jumin," she croaked after a few moments. Thankfully, she didn't have to finish. The room was now empty save for the three of them, Saeran, Rika, and…V. His gaze shifted to the scene behind her. His hands fell to his side and the color drained from his face.

"No…" he breathed. His face remained composed, but MC could see his chest rise and fall erratically, betraying his true emotions. His eyes frantically darted about the room before falling on her again. "Rika…V…?"

His stiff tone cut through her. "We were just as surprised, and-Jumin?"

He had taken a few slow steps past her. She watched as he stood over his friend, staring at him blankly. The medical staff looked up at him and muttered a few quiet words. MC didn't need to hear them to know what they said. It was too late for V.

She was amazed at Jumin's poise as he instructed the staff to take Rika and Saeran away. With both of them in the state they were, they gave little resistance as they were led out of the room, though heavy security still followed after them.

MC and Vanderwood lingered a bit away as if taking another step would be irreverent. Jumin lowered himself to the ground. His wavering hand brushed over V's blazer before clutching the hem. His other hand slipped under his back, cradling the body to his chest. He buried his face into V's shoulder, and MC saw his shoulders shake in quiet sobs.

She turned her head when his crying reached her ears. Suddenly, she felt ashamed, as if she had seen something she shouldn't have. No longer wishing to intrude on the intimate moment between friends, she tugged on Vanderwood's arm and hurried out of the room.

She hoped she would never see it again. She hoped she would never hear so much pain from another person again. As her brain collected itself once more, she understood these would be nothing more than empty wishes. She had learned much from her experiences in the past few weeks. She was not the same person. She was less naïve, emotionally battered, and very…very tired. But there was one great lesson that stood out to her. The world could be unequivocally cruel, and people either fight against it or bend to its will. Either way, suffering was inevitable.

The cool night air whipped her hair against her face as soon as she stepped outside. Despite being locked up in a prison since morning, she could not welcome the biting wind and her body shuddered in response. She wasn't sure who put a blanket around her, but it was the same person who led her and Vanderwood into large black car and placed a warm cup in their hands.

It wasn't until the person crawled into the seats across from her did MC see the stockings and pencil skirt. "Jaehee?" she tilted her head. Her voice sounded small and distant, even to herself.

The woman's kind brown eyes sparkled. "MC…nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry it was under such circumstances, of course," she glanced to Vanderwood. "And you are…?"

"Vanderwood," the older man replied.

"Saeyoung's maid?" Jaehee said, confusion distorting her features.

MC mustered the smallest of smiles as she glanced at Vandewood's disgruntled face. She returned her attention to the assistant in front of her. "Did you hear anything about Saeyoung's condition?"

She nodded. For some reason, her presence was a balm to MC, clearing her head and bringing her back from the edge of her own despairing thoughts. "He should be at the hospital soon. He'll be okay…I think."

She gave MC's hands a reassuring squeeze. A gust of wind blew into the car when the door opened. Jumin crawled inside and took a seat beside Jaehee. His hair was disheveled and his cheeks flushed…a stark contrast to the pictures he had sent of himself in the chatroom. Queasiness rose in MC's stomach seeing the amount of blood staining his pristine suit. She couldn't tear her eyes away from it.

She lurched back when the car moved. She could barely appreciate the wave of relief that washed over her at leaving the place when Jumin flattened his hair and turned to her.

"What happened?" he asked. His voice was low and harsh.

MC opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came. She wasn't sure what to say…everything was so mixed up in her head. Where should she begin? Should she even tell him the whole thing? How much did he know already? She was now acutely aware of how little she really knew Jumin…or any of the RFA really. She wished Saeyoung were there.

"MC, I need to know," he said. Again, a rough tone coated his words causing her to flinch.

Vanderwood leaned forward in his seat. "Hey, she's in shock. Don't interrogate her at a time like this."

Jumin's cold features melted away. His grey eyes glistened apologetically. She felt no anger towards him anyway…V was his childhood friend. What he witnessed couldn't have been easy. "Yes" he said, "Of course. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she finally managed. She waited a moment, finding her voice after a deep breath. "It happened so quickly, but…Saeran got a hold of Saeyoung's gun. And then…something got into him, and he just—" she couldn't bring herself to finish that sentence.

"Oh my God," Jaehee muttered, shutting her eyes and whispering a soft prayer.

Jumin rubbed his face wearily, heaving a sigh. It almost seemed like he expected it. Suddenly, he shook his head. "Are you okay? Were you hurt?"

"Not really," she muttered, showing her swollen, bloodied wrist. Remembering them made the stinging return…or rather, made her mindful of the pain.

"So, that's a yes. We'll get it treated at the hospital," Jumin said. He rubbed his eyes wearily. "What am I going to tell everyone?"

"Are the authorities looking into it?" Vanderwood asked. MC could feel him stiffen. If the police were involved…well, he and Saeyoung may have some issues. After all, Saeran did leak out information about their agency. No doubt ravenous reporters flocked to it.

"Not yet," Jumin said. "But it's only a matter of time. It'll have to wait until everyone recovers."

Vanderwood cursed under his breath.

Jaehee cleared her throat. "Perhaps I am being too soft, but I'm not sure this is what we should be discussing at the moment."

MC shot her a grateful nod. As much as she wanted to figure this all out, she wanted to do so in her right mind. At the moment, her thoughts were scattered and still trying to compute what had happened…and that they were finally free.

"But…" she began slowly. "Are you going to tell the RFA? I mean, about…"

She didn't dare say his name lest Jumin reacted poorly. He remained quiet for a long time, his chin resting against his fist and his eyes focused on the passing scenery. "Kim Jihyun committed suicide."

"What?" all three of them burst at once.

Jumin didn't move at their reaction. "That's what we'll tell them."

"Why?" Jaehee said. "That's a lie."

"I agree," MC interjected. "Secrets were how we got here in the first place—"

"It's not a lie," Jumin interrupted. He turned to MC. "Jihyun's decisions are what brought him there. I don't understand them, but they were his own. So, no…it's not a lie. Just a specific truth." He paused and pursed his lips. "But there's another reason. Did Saeyoung ever tell you who his father is?"

She shook her head. She remembered him saying that his biological father was someone important in the government…but that knowing would only put her in danger. She didn't want to ask further, since at the time, he had only just opened up to her. But the look on Jumin's face told her the news wouldn't be good…

He went on. "I didn't mean to find out. I was doing some personal research on Saeyoung's agency, since its recent demise. I stumbled upon it."

"And?" MC prodded when he quieted once more.

"Let's just say, if word gets out…Saeyoung will never live a peaceful life."

MC buried her face in her hands, despite the throbbing. She thought this would be over now they escaped. She and Saeyoung could live the quiet life they talked about. Saeran would join them as he recovered.

"You should get some rest before we get to the hospital," Jaehee said.

MC obliged by leaning back into the seat, but she couldn't rest. How could she? Everything was supposed to be getting better, but instead it was becoming more and more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor MC is kind of traumatized...Let's hope Saeyoung can help a bit later. Thank you very much for reading, and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! I look forward to any comments you might have throughout the week :) See you soon!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung finally wakes up...but not to the news he was hoping for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I know I didn't update on Friday, but that's because my updating schedule is now changing! I will have more details at the end of the chapter, so I'll explain there. Hope you enjoy this chapter though, and sorry to keep you waiting~

Saeyoung woke to the sound of hushed voices and beeping monitors. Scratchy cloth grated against his fingertips, and the smell of sanitizer and cafeteria food hung in the air.

He hadn't been in hospitals many times before. Only once or twice, really, when a particularly difficult field mission had gone wrong. But still, there was no mistaking his current location. His mind didn't cooperate as he tried to sort out why he might've been there, since he didn't really feel any pain.

Saeyoung cracked his eyelids open, fighting against the drug induced sleep that threatened to overtake him again. He craned his neck to check for others in the room. He saw the familiar blur of brown hair and a purple lined jacket on the chair nearby.

"Vander…" he croaked. His words died breathlessly from his lips, but it seemed to get the man's attention anyway.

Vanderwood stood from the chair and came beside him. "Good to see you're mostly awake."

Saeyoung blinked a few times. He glanced down at the IVs stuck in his veins along with a thick wrapping around his right arm.

"You needed a few…quite a few stitches," Vanderwood explained.

Stitches…right, the gunshot. The stray thought caused his memory to rush back into his mind at an alarming rate. He tried sitting upright, but the drugs made him slow and sluggish. "MC," he said instead, swallowing against his parched throat.

Vanderwood gave a short nod to the opposite side. It took some effort, but Saeyoung managed to turn his head. He now saw that the rough cloth against his fingers weren't the sheets, but MC's bandaged hand which loosely held his as her head rested against the edge of his bedDespite his obscure vision, he could see her shoulders rising and falling steadily. She was mostly unharmed. He gently ran the pad of his thumb against the white cloth encasing her fingers.

"And Saeran…?" he said.

Vanderwood didn't reply. He reached into his pocket, retrieved a rounded box, and opened it. It took Saeyoung a moment to recognize the yellow and grey stripes of his glasses, although, he noted the odd shape. That pair was one he had left at home before he rushed to Rika's apartment weeks ago. "I stopped by at your place," Vanderwood said, placing the glasses on Saeyoung's face. "Your other pair cracked when you collapsed, and I figured you might need some other things."

He gestured behind him to a small backpack. Saeyoung furrowed his brows. "Where's my brother?" he demanded, not willing for any casual subject change.

Vanderwood heaved a sigh before pulling the chair closer to the hospital bed. "That assistant woman said I shouldn't tell you anything yet, but…he's here. In another ward."

So Jumin came in time…they were safe. The relief he felt at the fact that they made it out of that place alive was short lived. Last he saw Saeran, the disciples from Mint Eye were threatening to brainwash him again. Dread conjured the worst scenario in Saeyoung's mind. "Why is he here?" he said. "Is he hurt?"

"Not physically," Vanderwood replied. "But he went crazy after you passed out. I think they even had to sedate him because of the pain in his head."

Saeyoung felt the effects of the drugs wear off with his increasing determination. He grasped the blanket around him and pulled it off. "I need to go see him."

"No," Vanderwood interjected, standing to his feet. He pressed a hand to Saeyoung's chest while simultaneously replacing the blanket. "You lost a lot of blood. You need to rest until the doctor sees you."

Saeyoung huffed, annoyed that his weakness made it impossible to fight against Vanderwood's light touch. He fell back against the bed.

"S-Saeyoung?"

He started at the gentle voice beside him. A pang of guilt shot through him when he saw MC's tired eyes webbed with red staring up at him. Still, he forced a small smile for her. "Hey."

Her breath shuddered when he spoke, and she smiled, though Saeyoung noticed it didn't quite reach her eyes. Something seemed off with her. But he wasn't sure how she would take his questioning right now.

"Sorry to worry you," he said instead.

"Yeah, you should be sorry," she half laughed. "Honestly, I thought I was going to have a breakdown back there."

"Almost?" Vanderwood snorted. "You're lucky I was here last night or security would've dragged you out."

The girl shot a glare at him, although she bowed her head sheepishly at Saeyoung's inquiring glance. She cleared her throat. "Visiting hours were over, and they were ready to kick us out. I—er—wasn't thinking right," she explained. By the blush creeping across her face, Saeyoung guessed that occasional temper she had threatened to combust. He knew from experience that it wasn't nice to be on the receiving end.

"But they had no issue after I confirmed we were family," Vanderwood finished. Was that a smirk?

"We?" Saeyoung raised an eyebrow.

The older man pinched his cheek. "Don't you remember what you said back in that hole? Something really heroic and touching….hmm…" he tapped his chin in feign contemplation. "What was it he said to us both, MC?"

She chuckled, to Saeyoung's dismay. They were teasing him at a time like this? " 'Let my family go,'" she quoted with a small wink.

He groaned and flopped his head back onto his pillow. He didn't remember much at that point because his pain was so bad, but he was pretty sure he was never going to live this one down. "I didn't mean you, you idiot!" he growled at Vanderwood.

The older man only found more amusement at his reactions. Saeyoung lips curled downwards into a scowl, but MC interrupted before he could say anything particularly vicious.

"Now that he's awake, maybe you can find Jumin and Jaehee," she said. "They're probably talking with the doctors."

Vanderwood hesitated for a moment, but nodded. He patted Saeyoung's leg before disappearing into the hall. Saeyoung waited until he heard his heavy footfalls fade into the bustle of the hospital hall before turning back to MC.

She stared down at their hands interlaced together on the bed. He once again ran a thumb over her bandages. "Were you badly hurt?"

She shook her head. "Just a sprain."

He nodded. Another short silence fell between them. He watched her for a few moments, observing her movements…her expression. Everything she did was…lifeless. She lacked the luster that usually seemed to exude from her in soft rays.

He opened his mouth, but his question disappeared from his train of thought when he saw the tears streaming down MC's face. Her grip on his hand grew tighter as she buried her face into the sheets. "H-hey," he said. "What's wrong? What happened?"

She let out a few hiccupping sobs, each one sending little throbs in Saeyoung's chest. "I'm sorry," she managed to say through her crying. "I was just so scared before and—I think I'm going insane."

Saeyoung slipped his hand out of hers and tried lifting her head. He pulled away the strands of hair sticking to her damp cheeks. "You're not going insane," he said, keeping his tone firm. "You've been through a lot."

She wiped her tears on her sleeve which already seemed to have weathered some crying. She struggled to take in a few breaths before speaking again. "I thought—and you were—"

She shoved her fingers into her hair as a few more strangled cries came from her. Saeyoung frantically tried to make her stop with comforting words, not having seen her like this since he pushed her away at the apartment. He wished he could just hold her, but he was restricted by a bunch of tiny tubes and needles in his arm.

Something akin to anger churned in his chest, although he didn't know where it was directed. Perhaps he was frustrated at life itself for taking such a bright, wonderful star and sending it crashing to the lowest place on the earth. Maybe angry at Rika. At V. No, he was mostly angry with himself for dragging her into all of this.

"MC," he said, his voice barely coming out as a whisper. Her breath hitched as she desperately tried to get in control of her breathing. His chest constricted, and he was glad of the meds that were currently keeping him calm. He tugged on her arm gently until she sat on edge of the hospital bed. He sat up with some difficulty, but he managed to wrap one arm loosely around her. "MC…look at me."

She slowly brought her face up. Saeyoung suppressed the guilt that surfaced in his mind; beating himself up wouldn't help her right now. He went on. "Take a deep breath," he said, wiping her damp face with his fingers. "We're okay. We're alive. Remember you said we would be? You were right."

The tension in his shoulders loosened as he saw his words take effect. She rubbed her eyes, still sniffling but breathing more steadily. "S-sorry," she shook. "You're the one who's hurt. I'm just…so relieved and scared."

He stroked her hair with his good hand. "Scared? Babe, there's nothing to be scared of anymore. The worst is over."

She buried her face in her hands. Saeyoung waited in the silence that followed. He understood more than anyone the shock of a life and death situation for the first time. The bomb was one thing…she couldn't actually see it. But being drugged, shot at, nearly brainwashed…it would be a first and last experience for her if he had anything to do with it.

Her hands fell to her side, and she gingerly traced small circles on his palm, though her eyes remained on his. "Thanks," she said.

He clicked his tongue and wiped away a few smudges of black from her cheek, which he assumed to be mascara. "Next time we go on some long roadtrip to save my long lost twin, try waterproof make up, huh?"

Her frown unfurled into a grin as she let out a few giggles. Saeyoung's breath left his lungs seeing her smile and laugh like that. He hadn't seen her so bright and free from worry in such a long time…

For a few moments, they said nothing, an unspoken conversation taking place with their eyes. Then, to his surprise, she leaned forward and gave him a kiss. It was sloppy and a little wet, but he could feel so many raw emotions in those few lingering moments. Relief…shock…and so much warmth.

"Are we interrupting?" came a deep, rumbling voice Saeyoung didn't think he'd ever hear again.

MC pulled back and slipped into her chair hurriedly. Jumin seemed to cast both of them an amused smirk. What a foreign expression for the trustfund kid. Saeyoung gave a small wave as Jaehee joined him. "I suppose I should thank you now," he said.

Jumin shrugged. "I do what I can to help my friends," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, for now," Saeyoung replied honestly.

"They just administered the pain killers," Jaehee said, standing next to the machines and studying the numbers. "It'll probably wear off in an hour, and you'll start feeling it again."

"Wow. Thanks," Saeyoung deadpanned.

Jaehee shot him an apologetic glance before taking the seat Vanderwood had left. She looked as tired and stiff as ever, although Saeyoung could find traces of worry in her eyes whenever she looked at him. He was never very close to Jaehee, but maybe this whole ordeal was finally breaking down the walls of the robot assistant.

"I just spoke to the doctor," Jumin said, fiddling with the remote left on a side table. He clicked a button and the image flashed on. MC chuckled when he practically dropped it in shock. Saeyoung, too, found the technology-confused CEO funny, although he squirmed when he saw the news footage covering a recent political event.

Jumin cleared his throat and tossed the remote aside. "He said you'll probably only need to stay until the end of the week, depending on your energy and blood levels. So, we'll postpone the funeral until you recover."

Saeyoung flinched at the word. "F-funeral?" he choked. His heart slammed against his chest. Vanderwood said Saeran was alive. And MC was next to him. So, who…?

"Mr. Han!" Jaehee scolded. She turned helplessly to MC. Saeyoung followed her gaze.

"MC," he began. "What's going on?"

She sent Jumin a glare before taking a quick breath. "I was waiting to tell you until later," she said. Saeyoung clenched his blanket in his fist, adrenaline rushing through him as he waited her answer. She stubbornly pressed her lips together.

"Kim Jihyun died yesterday evening," Jumin said when nobody spoke. The lack of emotion coming from the man made Saeyoung wonder if he had heard correctly.

V was dead. The statement echoed through his mind, but not quite registering.

Saeyoung opened his mouth to say something, but all thoughts died on his tongue. He stared blankly at the wall in front of him. He expected something…anger, sadness, regret. But nothingness spread through his chest into his gut.

"Saeyoung?" MC ventured, her fingers unclenching his balled fist.

"How?" the question came involuntarily.

"Suicide," Jumin replied with that same emotionless tone. Saeyoung could understand it now. He wasn't sure what to feel himself.

MC glowered at the older man. Saeyoung watched as Jumin returned it evenly with his cool stare. "MC, don't," the latter said quietly.

"I'm not lying to him," MC snapped. She gripped the arms of her chair and stood. "You can say whatever you want to the rest of the RFA, but I'm not letting you keep the truth from Saeyoung."

"I don't think it wise just yet. I told you my reasons."

"Well, your reasons are bull," MC muttered under her breath. Saeyoung rubbed at his temple where a needling pain was starting to develop.

"Will one of you please tell me what the heck is going on? How did V—why-" his voice failed him, and he shook his head. Nothing was making sense.

MC leaned forward on the bed, her eyes flashing in resolve. "This isn't going to be easy to take, Saeyoung," she said. Her focus didn't waver, but her expression softened to something akin to pity. "After you passed out, Saeran took your gun, and…I think his mind snapped after Rika went against him. He… shot V."

Just like before, the words didn't register in Saeyoung's mind. Maybe it was the medicine or just the turmoil of the past few days that made him slow and empty. "Saeran," he echoed. "Saeran, my brother…killed V?"

He looked at Jumin and Jaehee respectively, hoping they might offer a different explanation or explain how it was all a mistake. But they avoided his questioning gaze, only confirming his dread.

He brought his shaky hand to his mouth, surprised to find moisture leaking from his eyes. He didn't even notice. Was he broken?

"I'm sorry," MC mumbled. "I just thought you should know the truth."

He couldn't express it in words, mostly due to his shock, but he was so grateful for at least one person in his life willing to be honest with him. He was tired of lies…of secrets.

"We've told no one," Jumin said, finally breaking the thick silence that had fallen between them. "Things are…complicated. I'm sure you know what will happen if any of this gets investigated. I can't protect you forever, Saeyoung."

His eyes shot up to meet Jumin's. The implications in his tone…did he know who Saeyoung and Saeran were? He must have.

The numbness was slowly blooming into a frigid worry. Something like this would be too big to simply pass harmlessly by the press and authorities. Both of which would once again put Saeran and Saeyoung in the attention of their father. The thought made him sick.

"So, you told him, then?" Vanderwood's voice came from the doorway. The man was holding a tray of four coffees along with two empty cups full of sugar and straws. Jaehee stood and joined him.

"I think we should drink it out in the hallway," she said softly, though Saeyoung could hear her. "Mr. Han, I think you should give him some time."

Jumin nodded, but hesitated near the foot of the hospital bed. "Saeyoung, I would like to help however I can. I hope you know."

"Thank you," the red head replied. "For protecting Saeran. I know you can't cover it up for long , but…thanks."

Any traces of gentleness disappeared from Jumin's features. His grey eyes hardened as he clutched the hem of his suit blazer. "I did it for you, not for him. But, you're welcome."

Saeyoung didn't miss the bitterness dripping from his words. But he couldn't bring himself to hold any remorse…V was Jumin's best friend and perhaps the only person who could truly understand him. Even stoic Jumin was not invincible against grief.

MC made a move to follow the CEO out of the room, but Saeyoung grasped her sleeve. "Don't leave me," he said barely above a whisper. "Please."

She slowly lowered herself onto the edge of the bed again. She grabbed another tissue and gently dabbed his stale tears. "Are you okay?"

"I've been better," he replied with a humorless chuckle. "Surprisingly. Thanks, though…for choosing to tell me. I'm not okay with what happened. And I don't know how we're going to deal with this—this mess, but, I'd rather know the truth."

MC nodded and pursed her lips. "While we're talking about truths, can I ask you something?"

He sucked in a sharp breath. He expected the next question. He had expected it for a long time, even though MC was accommodating when it came to his past. "You want to know who my father is."

She ducked her head. "It's fine if you don't want to tell me. It's just…Jumin said your father might cause trouble."

Saeyoung's gaze automatically went to the TV. The remote was too far to switch it off as he usual did at home, preferring to only read news on the internet. "Yeah," he replied. "Well, I don't know for sure. But it could potentially be very bad."

"So," she faltered. "You said he was important, but how important exactly?"

He met her eyes for a brief moment before jerking his head toward the flashing screen. The familiar mix of disgust and fear welled in his chest as he watched a man with grey hair step onto a podium. Saeyoung was always glad that there were never too many similarities between him and the twins. It made their parentage harder to distinguish. But, there was always one feature that he shared with his biological father…one he knew MC would catch without a word. His golden eyes.

"Oh…my…" MC muttered breathlessly. She didn't tear her attention away from the prime minister's picture on the screen.

"Now you see why?" Saeyoung said.

She exhaled shakily and gave a small nod. "Just another obstacle. We just take it on together, like we've done so far. Right?" she said, her strong voice sending warmth coursing through his veins. He could still see the fear behind her eyes, and the lines of worry creasing her forehead. But there were still vestiges of the bright, sparkling MC underneath the battered girl in front of him. That part of her was now tested and tried and shining brighter than ever and, gosh, he really loved her.

Despite the weariness and faint throbbing in his wound, he forced himself to sit up and wrapped both arms around her, not caring if a bunch of flustered nurses would scold him in a few minutes for messing up his IV's. He had been through hell and back again, and he was aching to hold her properly since he woke.

"Saeyoung, your arm!" MC admonished.

He buried his face in her shoulder. "Just let me have a few moments. Please."

She obliged, her hand gently resting on his leg. There were many bad things that brought them here. Despite it all, they had come out stronger and more connected than ever. Saeyoung didn't know how they would figure out these new problems…or how broken they might be on the other side…but one thing was sure. He'd make sure they'd make it through together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll be getting into Secret End 2 very soon. I think I'm just keeping it all in the same fic, so no need to jump around. Thank you so much for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, as far as my updating schedule is going, I will now be releasing a new update on either Saturday night or Sunday. So no more updates on Fridays:( I've started a new job so my hours are different, which means my writing schedule is now different as well. Please be patient with me as I'm still adjusting with everything, but I will do my very best to pump out chapters as per usual:) See you all next week!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC finds she can't hide things from Saeyoung for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, I actually managed a chapter this week, yay! Okay, so this is more fluffy than I've written in a long time...I think for the first time in this fic, so I really hope you enjoy. I know a lot of people have finals this week, so all the best to you, and I truly hope this adds a just little brightness to your day~

MC would be lying if she said she wasn't avoiding the RFA. Her new phone, courtesy of Jumin after their old phones had been found mangled at Mint Eye, vibrated incessantly against Saeyoung's bedside table.

"Are you going to answer that?"

MC glanced over at Saeyoung's prompting and viewed the missed call from Zen. She grimaced, remembering how their last conversation was only filled with questions. Questions about how she was…how Saeyoung was…and every time she answered, she was even more aware of the secrets she promised to keep. She was sure Zen and Yoosung knew, and they were probably losing more and more respect of her. At least, that's what she thought. She didn't want to confirm it.

She waved a hand dismissively and leaned back in her chair. "I'll call him back."

Saeyoung sat up and crossed his legs on the hospital bed. The nurses gave him permission to do so, as well as to change into his normal clothes. While MC knew they were regretting it as Saeyoung was literally the most hyper patient ever, she was glad. All those tubes and wires before only looked like chains and shackles in her eyes. And besides that, the blue hospital gown made him look like death. Just the sight of him in a plain black shirt and sweatpants and only one IV was a sign he was on the mend.

MC jumped when he suddenly leaned over and pinched her cheek. She swatted his hand away before rubbing the offending area. "What was that for?" she muttered.

"We promised neither one of us would frown like that for the rest of the week," he said, wagging his finger at her.

She stuck out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. "Oh, I'm sorry, honey."

Saeyoung buried his face in the crook of his arm. "Oh no! You're too cute! Call the doctor, my heart is failing!"

MC couldn't help the fit of giggles that shook her frame as he dramatically clutched his heart and fell back against the hospital bed. He laughed a little too before letting out bemoaned sigh. "I think I'm going to go crazy if I have to stay in this bed for another four days."

She grasped his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. It was uncharacteristically cool for her human heater, but at least he didn't feel like ice. "Hang in there," she said. "Besides, once you're out, you can finally take a well deserved vacation to do whatever you want. You don't have work anyway."

"No work?" he exasperated, bolting upright once again. "So much work! First, I have to dismantle the bomb at Rika's apartment. And we can't have you stay at Jumin's hotel forever. Then, I have to burn all my agency files at home. There's the guest lists we need to re-secure. I have to reprogram the messenger's firewall and security. Then, there's the mess with the funeral—"

His words fell flat. MC didn't dare break the silence that followed. Saeyoung chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes darting to hers briefly. "Th-there's definitely a funeral?"

"Yeah," she said.

"And definitely a body?"

Funny how Zen questioned the same thing. It seems like Rika's reappearance would make them doubtful of death for a long time. "Unfortunately," MC said, pushing away the image of V's crumpled form in Jumin's arms from her mind. "You okay?"

Saeyoung propped his chin on his good hand. "I think so," he replied. "I've had a lot of time to cope with things in this sanitary prison."

He braved a chuckle, but MC could see the strains of grief in his slightly swollen eyes. She hated when he tried to deal with things alone, but in this one thing….she knew he needed the solitude. Despite what happened, she was sure Saeyoung harbored memories—good memories—from all those years.

"This place isn't that bad," she said, attempting to keep the mood light.

He scoffed. "No? I'm confined to a bed, and only allowed to roam the tiny halls three times a day. My arm has some stitches. My legs are fine!"

MC glared, and he ducked his head. "Well, I guess I did lose a lot of blood…but even so, this is overkill!"

His finger tapped a steady rhythm against the mattress as his eyes bore into the floor. "They still won't let me see Saeran," Saeyoung said.

"You're still not discharged, Saeyoung," she said. The psychological ward was on the other side of the hospital, and despite being extremely resilient, Saeyoung was in no shape to be walking that far yet. Besides…no one was sure of Saeran's reaction to his brother.

"I feel fine!"

"You're a genius," MC began. "But if your little chocolate milk prank with Yoosung shows anything, it's that you're not a doctor. The real doctors say you still need a full four days."

He let out an ambiguous grunt before his eyes flashed mischievously. "Oh, that's very true. If I were a doctor, maybe I could cure this cardiac arrhythmia that occurs every time I see you."

"Oh, gosh," MC said in feigned annoyance while trying to simultaneously cover up the growing blush on her cheeks.

The sound of shoes squeaking against the floors interrupted whatever flirtatious remark Saeyoung had lined up next—fortunately for her racing heart. A nurse that MC had encountered several times entered, a plastic bottle in hand. She smiled brightly at them. "Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Choi! I have the next batch of painkillers."

Saeyoung politely received and took the medicine from her hand. While she busied herself checking his monitors, he mouthed to MC, "What did she just call you?"

MC pinched the bridge of her nose. Vanderwood had been the one to enter them into the system as immediate family…only somewhere along the whole disaster that was Mint Eye, Saeyoung and MC had forgotten to update him on the whole marriage joke. More likely, Vanderwood had figured it out and did what he did on purpose in revenge.

The nurse finished her rounds before leaving them alone once again. Saeyoung stared at MC with a pleased smirk. "You didn't correct them?"

Heat crept into her cheeks. "I'm scared they're going to kick me out or something."

More so, she wasn't ready to give up certain privileges that came with the title. Saeyoung rumbled in a low laughter. He was all too happy with it. The thought made her blush harder.

Another set of vibrations went off, this time from Saeyoung's phone. He glanced at the caller ID before picking it up. MC took the moment to check her own phone. She didn't return Zen's call, but she did scroll through a few missed chatrooms. She thought she would find more doubts or questions concerning the whole ordeal.

But instead, it was filled with their kind concerns. Zen asking if she was okay. Yoosung asking if they wanted a homemade meal instead of hospital food. Suddenly the worries of them shunning her because of the secrets she would have to keep sounded more and more ridiculous to herself.

"They really are like family, aren't they?" Saeyoung said, setting his phone aside. He shifted slightly on the side and patted the empty space next to him. "I want to talk to you a second."

MC readily obliged. She wasn't sure how long she would be able to last on that chair anyway. His arm loosely rested around her waist as he scooted closer. She didn't like the solemnity that hardened his features.

"That was Jumin," he said. "He said you've been checking in the hotel at four in the morning for the past few nights and checking out a few hours later. I find that odd, considering you leave me before midnight and don't come back until almost nine."

MC tensed. She was so careful in covering her tracks from Saeyoung, she didn't even think about Jumin. Of course, she had forgotten he was staying in the same hotel while sorting everything out. She didn't expect him to be keeping an eye on her though…the RFA really were like family in every aspect.

Saeyoung's golden eyes searched her face, demanding her attention. Still, she couldn't bring herself to look at him. His fingers slid under her jaw, lifting her gaze to meet his. She swallowed against the guilt the secret had compiled in her stomach. "I do sleep," she protested.

He narrowed his eyes. "You used to complain that four hours wasn't enough for me. Then, it's certainly not enough for you."

MC turned her head from him once more. Her hand gripped the hem of her shirt as her nerves once again threatened to fray. His patient silence only made the words harder to keep inside.

"I can't sleep, okay?" she burst. "I can't rest in a fancy room while you and your brother are stuck in a hospital with injuries far worse than a sprained wrist."

She expected him to yell, scold—heck, she wouldn't be surprised if he blacklisted her from visiting him until she got sleep. Instead, his gentle hand once again brought her face back to his. Their noses awkwardly bumped against each other, but neither mended the distance. "Promise me you won't do it again," he said. There was no anger in his voice. But his pained expression was enough to make her regret her actions. "I don't care if I'm dying somewhere. It's no excuse for you not to take care of yourself. Promise?"

She wished she was good at lying. She wished she could agree and then return to her vigil throughout the night. But she knew he would figure out one way or another. Or even worse, he'd deprive himself of rest just to make sure she was fine. Yes, that was more like the self-sacrificing man she knew.

So with a resigned sigh, she lifted her pinky. He hooked it with his own, a smug smile resting on his face. "Besides," he went on, a familiar lightheartedness returning to his words. "You should rest now because I have so much planned after I'm discharged."

"Oh?" she said.

"Yep," he sang. "I've made a list. There's ice skating, getting smoothies, star gazing, taking a drive that doesn't involve getting caught up in a cult—"

"Saeyoung!" she scolded.

He only laughed. He pushed his glasses to the top of his head before snaking an arm around her waist and pressing her closer to his chest. "And there's one other thing, that I wish I could do now, but I guess I'll have to wait," he said, his voice lowered and husky.

MC was unable to stop her thoughts from scattering when the heat of his breath fanned over her lips. She could feel his heart beating steadily under her fingertips. How was he staying so calm? She shuddered when the edge of his mouth grazed against her jawline as he leaned towards her ear.

"W-what's that?" MC finally managed when he lingered in silence.

"Kiss you senseless."

He barely said it in a whisper, but it was enough to cause heat bursting from the pit of her stomach through the rest of her limbs. With a short chuckle, he moved back. There was only a hint of a blush tinting his cheeks. He gingerly took MC's bandaged hand in his own as she continued to stare dumbly at his roguish smile. "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"

She shook her head, desperately grasping for her wits. "A certain cat, yes," she retorted, looking away.

"Meow," he leered. He grew solemn once more. "But I am serious, MC. Take care. If something happens to you, I-"

His voice caught and he ended with a shrug.

MC's own throat constricted. She hated when he looked like that….his eyes wide and glossy, his lips curved downwards, and his shoulders slouched forward as if he suddenly took on the world. She pinched his cheek as he had done to her before. "Shut up, you sentimental idiot," she rasped.

He beamed at her fondly before sending her a wink. "Make me."

MC was sure she would burst into flames. "Choi Saeyoung! You absolute—"

She was glad Vanderwood walked into the room at that exact moment, or she was sure was going to do something rash to her provoking boyfriend. The older man deflated when he saw them sitting together on the bed. "I'm not even going to bother with you two anymore," he rolled his eyes. "Stupid couple."

Saeyoung jerked his head downwards, causing his glasses to fall back into place. "What brings you back yet again, Miss Vanderwood?"

It was only now did MC notice the two brown bags in Vanderwood's hands. He held one out to her. She gratefully took it before returning to her seat. Saeyoung lit up and opened his palm expectantly.

Vanderwood wordlessly sat on the chair next to her before pulling out a pastry and chomping down on it. Saeyoung let out a sharp cry before a string of long winded complaints flew from his mouth. MC sighed, her observations telling her that Vanderwood really wasn't that cruel towards the young hacker, no matter how he acted. After all, he did visit every day and always stayed for a few hours at a time. Her intuition was right, and she found an extra strawberry tart in her bag.

She calmly placed it on Saeyoung's tray at his bedside before shooting Vanderwood a smile. As expected, the red head grew quiet upon the realization before happily taking a big bite. His hunger appeased, he immediately started delving into a rant about some new technology that was just released that morning. MC shook her head. How he could be silly, caring, coy, childish, and yet profoundly intelligent all within the same hour was a mystery to her. But she truly loved him for it.

She ate her own pastry and listened quietly as Vanderwood and Saeyoung went back and forth about some coding. She had no idea what they were saying, but just hearing them talk about something other than escape plans was somehow comforting. She wasn't aware she had dosed off to their bantering until someone shook her shoulder.

She jumped and forced herself to focus. Vanderwood stared down at her, his brows furrowed. "How long have you been here? I thought you left after me last night."

"She did," Saeyoung interjected. He shifted his focus to MC, his expression softening. "Why don't you go back to the hotel and get some sleep?"

"I'm fine—"

"MC, you promised," he said, effectively shutting down her protests. "Besides, Miss Vanderwood is here for a few hours. I'll be completely entertained."

"If you think I'll be playing cards with you again, you're mistaken," Vanderwood snapped. "Cheater."

"See?" Saeyoung said, casting her a grin.

With a huff, MC gathered her things. "I'll be back tonight, though," she said. He nodded, pulling her down for a quick peck before shooing her out of the room.

She paused in the hall. She had every intention to keep her promise to Saeyoung, but…there was somewhere she needed to stop first.

Her limbs moved robotically as she made her way back to the psychological ward. When she arrived at Saeran's room, she found Jaehee waiting there. The assistant had been her accomplice these past few days, checking in on the younger twin periodically.

"Hello," Jaehee greeted.

MC joined her by the hospital bed. Saeran had more tubes attached to him than Saeyoung, and there was a monitor that tracked his heart rate. It had been three days, but the doctors said he only surged in and out of consciousness.

MC brushed Saeran's pink tipped hair off of his forehead. "Still hasn't woken?"

"The last activity was shortly after your last visit yesterday. His heart rate went up slightly," Jaehee replied. "He seemed to be suffering pain in the head again, so they gave him a light dosage of medicine."

MC exhaled shakily. Saeran's brows furrowed and a faint whimper escaped his throat. The nurses informed her that this was normal—especially if his body was purging itself from drugs, as suspected. Still, his scared moans shattered MC's heart. Was he dreaming of the past or present? Both were filled with pain for him. She hoped his future would be different.

"Thank you for keeping an eye on him," she said, tearing her eyes away from the twin and turning to Jaehee. "Really. If Saeyoung knew, I'm sure he would be touched."

"I am glad to be of help," Jaehee ducked her head. "To be honest, seeing you diligently caring for the twins after…well, after everything—it's inspiring."

Her words warmed MC's heart, although she felt slightly flustered at the sudden praise. She cleared her throat. "Did the doctor come by yet?"

"He just left," Jaehee said. "They took some blood for the final test. It might take a few days, but they think they'll be able to finally tell what was given to him."

MC nodded. "It's odd," she said. "V's story just ended, and Saeran's can finally begin."

Jaehee lowered herself onto the seat. "Yes, I noticed that as well. Isn't it strange how we all ended up connected."

Connected. MC wasn't sure that was quite the word. What she felt towards the RFA was much stronger than that. In just a few weeks, a handful of people welcomed her and cherished her more than she could have ever imagined anyone could. The RFA took a lone soul and made her family, with all its ups and downs. And as she looked down at the pale young man in front of her, she knew , in time, they would do so again.

"You'll find a family in us too," MC said under her breath. She gently hooked her pinky with Saeran's, despite his lack of response. "I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the sweetness in the midst of everything going crazy. Unfortunately, it's temporary for now, as angst will come again.
> 
> As always, I love to hear your thoughts, and I hope you have a wonderful week! Once again, good luck to those going through finals~


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung uncovers a few things....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie, am I late. Sorry, guys, this week I had a packed schedule, and I didn't want to post an unedited chapter, so I took the extra day. Hope this makes up for it~ Enjoy! 
> 
> Warning: Mild spoilers for the Christmas DLC.

Saeyoung fidgeted with the chain at the end of his jacket. He once again pivoted to return to the car waiting nearby. He took a few steps and turned back. For nearly the fiftieth time, he stood in front of the old rusted buzzer. His finger hovered over the button.

"This is probably a mistake," he muttered under his breath. Before he could cop out again, he lifted a shaky hand and pressed the button next to the three faded numbers he had known so well. His throat went dry as the speaker crackled. Jumin's disgruntled complaints carried over faintly before the older man spoke, "Is that you, Saeyoung?"

"Er—yes," he replied. "Y-you can let me in now."

"Why do you sound nervous?" Jumin said over the intercom. "It's not as if I'm asking you to do some horrible deed."

Saeyoung cleared his throat. "Is this a conversation we should be having now? Let me in, please."

"Assistant Kang! How do I—" his voice abruptly cut off.

Saeyoung suppressed his annoyance as he waited another three minutes for the click of the door. He entered the building and made his way up the stairs. Jaehee was standing by the open door, looking tired and exasperated. Nonetheless, she gave him a small smile while stepping to the side to let him inside.

The young hacker paused at the threshold. He had only been to V's apartment a handful of times in his life…both of them had been so busy that they mostly communicated through phone. Still, the colors of his blue and purple décor brought memories of spontaneous late night visits filled with soft lights, the smell of plants, and the welcomed vulnerability in the midst of a reticent lifestyle.

Saeyoung's eyes fell on the variety of tea kettles on the table, recognizing a few he had bought himself for his friend. V had refused to give Saeyoung soda or coffee, claiming tea would be more soothing for him. The younger man only ever drank it in front of V…just to make him happy. He did a lot of things he didn't like to make V happy, didn't he? Had he been so naïve?

"I'm sorry," Jaehee said, snapping him out of the memory. Her expression was soft, and she shifted uncomfortably on her heels. "I think it was rather inconsiderate for Mr. Han to ask you here after everything that happened."

Saeyoung shook his head and forced a chuckle. "It was my decision to come," he said. He lifted his heavily bandaged arm. "Besides, you have no idea how glad I am to be out of the hospital a day early."

Jaehee nodded, a small smile forming on her lips. "Very well. If you have it from here, I will return to the office and take of things there."

He agreed and stepped into the apartment as she stepped out. He almost tripped on a box upon entering. The place was a mess. "Hyung?" he called, peering around the scattered papers and photos. He jumped when a flash of white dashed out from one of the boxes. "Oh, Elly!"

The excitement from seeing the white cat faded with the clatter of a few items. Jumin stumbled out of V's workroom a few moments later. "She is not here for your pleasure, Saeyoung. Do not touch her."

Saeyoung genuinely laughed. Not so much at Jumin's protectiveness, but more at his physical appearance. The usually put together CEO now abandoned his blazer and vest, and his button down was half undone. More than that, his hair was sticking out in all different directions.

He sighed and clambered over a few frames on the ground before reaching Saeyoung. "I just texted MC a few moments ago. I thought she might've felt cooped up in the hotel room, so I invited her as well."

Saeyoung waved his hand. "She won't get them. I muted her text messages for the day. She needed the sleep."

Jumin glanced at him askance. "I'm not sure she'll like that."

The younger man tilted his head innocently. "No? I think it's quite caring of me."

Satisfaction tingled through him when Jumin rolled his eyes in annoyance. It was nice to tease his friends again. Although…Jumin probably had a point. But Saeyoung would deal with his girlfriend when the time came.

"Go ahead and take a seat," Jumin said, gesturing to the couch. Saeyoung hesitated, but ultimately lowered himself into the beige chair. Disconcertingly, the smell of V's usual cologne seeped from the fabric.

Saeyoung waited as Jumin brought out a few boxes from the adjacent room. He began sorting through them, placing V's framed photos to the side and his other things in a larger box. Saeyoung said nothing, waiting for some orders or questions to help organize through the items. Even when he tried to help, Jumin waved him off, telling him to take care of his injury.

Jumin brought out yet another box and reached inside. He held up a potted cactus. "Do you remember getting V this? It was his first house plant when he moved into this place."

Saeyoung furrowed his brows as the older man's lips curled upwards in a painfully forced smile. He waited quietly as more objects were shown to him…an abstract painting, a camera lens, even a remote control. He was on edge enough simply by being in the room.

"Jumin, why did you call me here?" he burst, cutting the man off before he rambled on about some empty picture frame.

Jumin froze, his fingers tightening around the square object. "My father said something about searching old memories as a way to make closure," he tossed the frame haphazardly back into the box before flopping back into a chair. "I'm starting to feel like it's a bunch of crap."

Saeyoung shook his head. "I still don't understand what that has to do with me?"

Jumin shrugged. "I thought it would help you cope."

He studied the corporate heir for a few long seconds before speaking. "Cope? As in…emotions? From you?"

Jumin leaned forward in his chair. He fidgeted with the buttons on his cuffs. "I'm not a robot, you know."

Saeyoung was taken aback by the strain in the older man's voice. He had expected Jumin to be hurting, but…he had only seen Jumin grieve once. That was when Rika died. And even then, the CEO returned to his normal self in a matter of days. To see him so shaken was off-putting. "Um, I know I never asked," Saeyoung said. "But are you…fine? I mean with everything—"

"Of course, I'm not fine, Luciel," Jumin snapped. Saeyoung flinched at the use of his old name, but it was all too telling of his real feelings. He didn't make mistakes often.

Saeyoung could see it now in the faint dark circles under his eyes and the way his entire body seemed to be drained of its usual bred confidence. He wiped his hands against his jeans and took a deep breath. "I don't need to cope," he muttered. "I think I've done enough thinking about V for a lifetime."

"You do," Jumin protested. "You may think you don't, but V was a close friend to you for many years."

Saeyoung snorted. "He allowed my brother to be brainwashed. I know he was your best friend, but he ruined Saeran's life."

Jumin's calculative grey eyes fixed themselves on the table. His mouth hung open for a few moments before he finally spoke, his voice cool but thick with emotion. "And I know he's your brother, but he shot my best friend."

His words stung. Not because they were said maliciously or in bitterness. No…he said them truthfully, and that's the part that hurt.

The truth wasn't pretty, Saeyoung had observed. It wasn't this bright, angelic light that seemed to cleanly cut through the shadow of deceit. Truth was messy, and most of the time it scoured the life out of everything it touched. The RFA was shrouded in mystery since its conception, so of course the consequences would be more complicated.

Saeyoung swallowed against his burning throat, trying to find his voice again but failing. He shifted his gaze away from Jumin. Of course, that didn't help. Wherever his eyes landed was a memory of V.

"I don't mean to excuse V of what he'd done," Jumin went on. He rubbed his eyes wearily. "To be honest, the more I look through his things, the more of his secrets I find. So many things that only confirm what he'd become... and of what Rika did."

For Jumin, this place might have brought truth, but to Saeyoung, it only summoned unbidden memories of a good man—not the broken one who sat next to him in a dingy cell a week ago. That was worse than the lies. If he allowed himself, Saeyoung could imagine that it wasn't actually V. He could just replace him with someone else and pretend V had always been on their side and never betrayed him.

"To an extent, I wish he would've never doubted me that one night," he said, his tongue acting against his brain's screaming protests. "I wish he would've kept his secrets better and none of this would've happened."

"Why?" Jumin said. "Secrets are what caused everything to cave in."

"Because I—" Saeyoung began. He quickly shut his mouth and pressed his lips in a hard line. He turned away from Jumin's searching eyes.

He didn't want to finish that statement. He didn't want to admit he missed V. He missed innocence he was allowed to have around him—the absolute trust in a mentor…in an older brother…a father, even. He longed for the soothing voice that seemed to reassure him of his own worth. He ached for the friend he lost to blinded love and twisted affection. More than anything, he wished none of it were true. He wished V would've never taken things on himself, creating a disarray of emotions inside of Saeyoung now that he was gone.

His chest suddenly tightened, and the lump in his throat made it difficult to breathe. He was suffocating with each piece of evidence around him. "I'll actually make myself useful," he said abruptly. He ignored Jumin's calls and rushed into the nearest room. He leaned against a wooden table and forced himself to inhale and exhale steadily.

It was only now did Saeyoung realize he had run to V's workroom. Dust was thick in the air, despite the open window which served as a filter. Photographs clipped onto string were strewn neatly across the walls. A few were framed, a grey film spread across its glassy surface. Saeyoung wondered exactly how long it had been since V had stopped taking photos. He ran his fingers over the pile of vintage camera film. They would never be developed now.

The thought suddenly made V's death so permanent. He wouldn't be coming back. He couldn't fix things like he wanted. He couldn't continue his photography business. There would be no more parties where he would be standing in the corner wearing a camera and a soft smile.

Saeyoung lowered himself onto the chair at the desk covered with miscellaneous office supplies and black and white photos. Absentmindedly, he started organizing it, stacking photos on one side and placing the rest in their proper places. He welcomed the mindless cleaning. For once, his brain stopped running.

Even when the surface was clear, he didn't stop. He moved onto the drawers, tidying up the clutter or simply shifting things around. He paused when he found a wooden box at the bottom of a drawer. The edges were dented and worn. He lifted it out and placed it on the desk, ignoring the soreness in his arm.

A padlock hung from the center. It wasn't rusted. V must've only just locked it up. Saeyoung wondered what could've been so important for him to hide in his own house. The last time he hid something in a drawer, it was incriminating evidence against Rika and her developed cult. Despite his conscience telling him to leave the box alone, he retrieved his keys from his pocket and unhooked his handmade lockpick.

Saeyoung hadn't the need to pick a lock in awhile, so it took longer than he expected. He was so consumed with his work, he nearly fell out of his chair when a ball of white leapt onto the table. "Elly," he breathed, pressing a hand to his racing heart.

The cat meowed but withdrew from Saeyoung's outstretched hand. Of course that didn't stop him. He scooped the cat in his arms and pulled her onto his lap. With a sigh, he nuzzled his nose into her fur. "Why are you here, Elly?" he said, kissing her head when she yowled. "Now that I think about it, why am I here? Maybe I should just leave this place alone. You think, Elly?"

He raised his hands in surrender when he heard a knock from the doorway. "I didn't hurt her, Hyung," he said. Elizabeth went bolting away from him with a hiss.

He turned, expecting to see Jumin frowning at him. But instead, MC took a few steps forward. Her hair was pulled up in a sloppy bun, and her jacket hung off one shoulder. "Jumin sent Jaehee to get me," she explained. Had he been working that long?

She lifted her phone as she approached him. "And I suppose you blocked my texts so you could cheat on me with a cat."

There was still a hint of annoyance underneath her joke. Saeyoung let his hands fall to his side. "You're supposed to be sleeping," he said disapprovingly. He turned returning to his work on the lock. A few more clicks and the padlock tumbled to the desk. "MC, go back to the hotel."

She ignored him and pulled up a chair to sit down next to him. He rolled his eyes and glared at her. She returned his gaze coolly. "This is V's place," she said matter of factly. "I know you came here to sort your emotions."

He was fine until she touched his shoulder. Just like that…just like always…his walls came crashing down. Wood skidded against wood as he pushed the chair back and pulled her onto his lap. Her warmth engulfed him, making him aware of how cold he had been. He buried his face into her shoulder.

Her fingers delicately twirled the hair at his neck. Her presence cast out the numbness Saeyoung had instinctually forced onto himself. The apathy he had tried so hard to upkeep collapsed, causing a barrage of emotions to crash into him. He squeezed her tighter, willing his body to stop shaking.

He let out a shaky breath. "I feel so wrong," he said. "I feel like grieving him is so wrong. Like it somehow justifies what he did. It's like I'm betraying myself after I vowed not to forgive him."

Jumin was right after all. Years of friendship were difficult to erase, no matter the wrongdoings.

MC shook her head. "It's not wrong," she said. "It's part of letting go, you know."

He pressed his face further into her skin. "I came here as a test to myself. To see if I had really let go. I'm failing miserably."

She pushed him back and cupped his face. "Healing takes time," she said. "You're so patient with everyone else, maybe you need to be patient with yourself."

He looked down at his hands. She was right. He had been trying to force himself to be free of V…of the pain that came with all that he'd done. There was a saying, "The truth will set you free." But it never said how long it would take to actually gain that liberty. He took a deep breath, the tension he harbored before slowly undoing itself at this acceptance.

"And," MC began, sounding suddenly very shy. "You won't be alone now. Y-you have me…and Saeran."

Saeyoung softened, a warm smile spreading across his lips. "I'm glad you came," he said.

She slid off his lap back onto the chair, a soft blush blossoming across her cheeks. "What's that?" she gestured to the box.

Saeyoung bit the inside of his cheek. "I was just about to find out."

He opened it, finding a myriad of printed photos piled at the top. He set them aside and continued searching. He was vaguely aware of MC flipping through them. The box was full of miscellaneous items…drawings, pieces of Bible verses, childish handwriting.

"Saeyoung…"

He turned to look at the photos in her hand. His eyes widened as he recognized a few copies of Saeran's pictures that Rika took. And the others consisted of ones with Saeyoung at past RFA parties. He remembered not wanting to take the photos because of the agency, but V had convinced him to leave his mark in his life, if he couldn't leave his mark on the rest of the world. "Why is this only of us?"

He pulled out the other papers he found, studying them closely. As he suspected, Saeran's name was poorly scribbled in crayon at the bottom of some of them. He now realized they were pamphlets from church school.

His hands shook as he put them aside and looked into the box once more. There were only two things left...a box and an envelope. He pulled out the former, staring at its crinkled wrapping and ribbon in disbelief.

"What's that?" MC asked.

Saeyoung shifted the box in his hands. "It's…a Christmas present for Saeran. I asked V to give it to him years ago. Saeran…never got it?"

He fell against the back of the chair. No wonder Saeran felt so abandoned. All those years, he truly thought Saeyoung had forgotten him.

MC placed a comforting hand on his knee. "I'm sorry."

"Poor Saeran," Saeyoung muttered. MC left him to his thoughts and reached in to retrieve the envelope.

The sound of Jumin clearing his throat turned Saeyoung attention to the doorway. The older man lifted his phone. "That was the hospital," he said. "Now that you're discharged, you can go visit Saeran after the funeral tomorrow, if you wish."

"Really?"

Jumin nodded. "I can't promise he's awake, but the last of the drugs are leaving him. Still, it will be a process."

The young hacker wasn't sure if it was excitement or anxiety that suddenly made him ill at the thought. He wanted his brother back, but he knew it wouldn't be easy. Neither of them were the same as in childhood. He prayed that the worst was behind them, but remembering Saeran's previous reactions, he wasn't so sure.

"MC, you look pale," Jumin commented. Saeyoung turned to his girlfriend, who had indeed lost some color in her face. Her wide eyes darted about the open page in her hand.

"MC?" he ventured, placing a hesitant hand on her knee.

She jumped, blinking a few times before registering either of them. Saeyoung glanced at the paper that seemed to be so shocking. "What is it?" he asked.

MC looked at Jumin. "You said V had called you once to leave a will, right?"

The corporate heir leaned against the doorpost. "Yes," he said. "That was years ago."

She handed the page and the envelope to Saeyoung. "Well, he left a written one just last year."

Jumin rushed over and snatched the paper from his hands. He scanned through it, his usual composure gone, replaced with shaky hands and a quivering lip. He ran a hand through his hair.

"What's wrong?" MC asked.

Saeyoung hadn't read it, but he knew from Jumin's look of horror. He ran a thumb over V's full name signed in pen at the top of the envelope. Typical V…taking all the burdens, including death, on himself. "He knew he was going to die soon."

MC let out a small gasp. She slowly turned her head. "J-Jumin, are you okay?"

He didn't look at either of them. He continued to gape at the will as if it would somehow change or disappear.

"Hyung," Saeyoung said more sharply.

Stoic calmness once again possessed Jumin's features as he lowered the page. "I'll have to get this looked at so we can deal with it properly. Excuse me."

Saeyoung and MC watched helplessly as he left the room. The latter buried her face in her hands. "If he knew, why didn't he get help?"

Because keeping secrets was easier than watching your loved ones deteriorate in worry. It was easier to pretend everything was fine. Saeyoung understood V's reasons all too well.

"You should go back now," he said shortly. "I'll visit the hotel soon, and we can grab some lunch."

Thankfully, she complied and left him alone in the room once more. He lifted the red and green box in his hands. He used to think that knowing the truth would solve everything…in the RFA...between him and Saeran…but after seeing its ramifications, he wasn't so sure he could handle another secret being uncovered. He wasn't sure any of them could.

He dropped the gift back into the box and kicked it closed. There were some things better left in a drawer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's in the box though??? ;) We will officially be getting into Secret end 2 next chapter, so I hope you will look forward to it. Thank you all for reading, and again sorry for the late update. Have a very good week! As always, love to hear your thoughts!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter in their lives begin, and MC deals with both of the twins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ Hope you all had a good week. Here's another update for you. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> SPOILER ALERT: This chapter is officially set in Secret End 2. If you haven't started it yet, please be warned of spoilers:)

MC wished it were raining. The beams of the setting sun seemed irreverent to shine on such a day. The direct heat beat down on the black fabric of the dress she wore to V's funeral just that morning. It uncomfortably burned skin, but she had no inclination to move.

The murmurs of confused mourners questioning why such a young man would take his life echoed in her mind, reawakened by the sound of crying parents in the corner of the hospital waiting room. She wasn't sure why the sadness was just hitting her now. Perhaps it was due to the discovery that he expected his death. What must've it felt like to know you were going to die soon? And in pursuit of someone you loved so dearly. The thought clawed at MC's chest, worsening the dull ache.

She didn't know V well, but his story somehow struck her, changing her mindset of the world and its ways. At first, it disheartened her seeing love in its worst form. But she remembered she also saw love in its best. Saeyoung giving up everything just to save his brother…to be brave and open himself up to others…and to change. He had always said she was his loving angel, but she was pretty sure it was his love that changed her, making her bolder and stronger in the worst of times.

Before her thoughts lulled her to sleep, she glanced at her watch. Saeyoung had gone into Saeran's room awhile ago, and MC had offered to stay in the waiting room of the hospital. She figured the brothers needed the time alone. Even if Saeran hadn't woken yet, Saeyoung needed the space.

However, she was pretty sure visiting hours for the ward were ending soon. She was glad all those days in the hospital had burned the layout of the place in her brain. She found Saeran's room quickly and easily…and just in time to see Saeyoung rushing out of it.

His lips were pressed in a hard line, and his features darkened. She took a few steps forward, glancing behind him to the room. Several nurses crowded Saeran's bed, obstructing her view of him.

Saeyoung warm hand pressed against her shoulder. "Let's go home," he said.

MC held her ground, despite his pushing. "What happened?"

He shook his head and released a sigh. "Nothing. He just needs rest."

"He's awake then?" MC said. She involuntarily took a step towards the door, but Saeyoung blocked her way.

He turned away from her questioning gaze, but she didn't budge. His grip on her tightened as he tried to once again push her away from the door. "Visiting hours are over soon," he said, his sprightly words dripping with faux cheeriness. "So let's grab some coffee, okay?"

"Saeyoung, stop," she snapped. Her tone pulled an irritated huff from his lips, but he also let her go. "What happened?"

"He's the same," came the half choked confession "He hasn't changed. He's still aggressive and he still…he still hates me."

He raked a hand through his hair, undoing it from its neat form. He stumbled back into the chair beside the door. MC's heart sunk as she watched him stare helplessly at the ground. Just like she had, he had hoped that the drugs Rika had enforced on Saeran were somehow the root of his problem, but it was something else. Something far more scarring.

From the rigidness slowly overtaking Saeyoung's features, he thought it was him.

MC peered back through the open door. Most of the nurses had dispersed now, though one remained holding out her hand. Saeran sneered at whatever she was holding and swatted her hand away. MC winced as the nurse let out a cry of annoyance before shaking her head and leaving the room.

She turned to Saeyoung upon exiting. MC caught a few words between them…something about pain medications and aggression. But she only had a limited amount of time, and she hadn't spent hours at Saeran's bedside to leave him alone in a hospital room because of a small tantrum.

She knew Saeyoung didn't want her to go in alone. She also knew Saeran wasn't exactly…well, safe. But that innate string of compassion inconveniently tugged at her heart, making it impossible just to walk away without trying to talk to him.

Keeping a careful watch on her currently distracted boyfriend, she glided behind the nurse and entered the room. Saeran tensed and grabbed the edge of the hospital bed. The scowl that had plastered itself on his lips suddenly melted away as his eyes shone in confusion.

"You," he said simply.

MC took in the state of the room. Some of the sheets from the bed were strewn on the floor along with an empty plastic cup. A few of his IV's dangled free from his arm, whether by his own doing or from the force of his raging. "I do have a name, you know," she said, calmly stepping over the mess and making her way to his bedside.

"What are you doing here?" he said. His mouth twitched upwards in a smirk. "Of course, I forgot. You're here with Luciel."

"Saeyoung, " she corrected. He flinched at the name and yanked the remaining blanket over himself. "Yes, I did come with Saeyoung. But I also came to see you."

His bottom lip quivered as a few unintelligible syllables drifted from his throat. He grunted and rubbed his forehead. "You're here to ask me how I am, like he did? You don't really care. Neither one of you. So just go, and leave me here."

So that was it…MC stayed in silence for a few moments before uncapping the bottle the nurses had left. "You're in pain," she said as a statement, not leaving him room for protest. She placed two pills in her hand and reached out with a closed fist. "Here."

Saeran gritted his teeth, his mint eyes clouded in frustration "I said I don't want it."

MC didn't retract her hand. "Saeran, it's fine. It'll help with the pain."

His gaze darted about the room frantically, as if the walls held some sort of excuse to refuse. But they did not. Reluctantly, he extended his arm. The sleeves of his gown fell back, revealing his thin, pale skin. Streaks of blue and green ran down his arm, leading to small cuts and bruises. MC brought her eyes up to his shoulders and neck. It was far too easy to see his bones.

Her mind returned to the one night in the cabin, where he greedily downed the small cup of noodles. She was sure skipping meals was a normal habit for him. Or perhaps, his body had never quite recovered from the abuses of his cruel mother.

She pressed the pills against his palm before turning to give him a glass of water. He tossed his head back as he swallowed the pills and drank the water. Some of the liquid dribbled down his chin and onto his gown. Apparently, he hadn't drank much either. If it weren't for the IV drip, she wondered if he'd even be living.

She shuddered at the thought.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" he growled. He tossed the cup to the table, sending it flying on the floor along with the other items.

"Sorry," she said, consciously turning to the wall.

"Okay, I took the pills," he said. "Now leave."

She almost obeyed. Saeran had a knack for pushing people away with his prickly words and coarse tone. But then again, so did Saeyoung at one point. How that had changed. Maybe this could change too.

"Are you sure?" she tilted her head. "Visiting hours are over soon anyway, so I should just stay a few—"

She recoiled when his hand swiped across the small table in front of him. The water pitcher went tumbling to the ground, splashing water partly on MC's arm and partly against the closed window. "Shut up!" he shouted. "With that stupid sweet voice—and that stupid act!"

"What act?" she forced. Her hands were shaking, but she pressed them firmly against her sides, resolving to stay in place.

He covered his ears. "I don't want to hear it anymore. From either of you, so just shut up and get out!"

His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. It synched with the increasing pace of his heart monitor.

"It's not an act, Saeran," MC said.

"It is," he said through gritted teeth. "It is, and I don't want to hear it. I told you before, didn't I? I don't make the same mistakes twice. I know how this goes. So just get out."

MC shook her head, trying to follow his scattered thought process. She knew it was probably unsafe in his state, but she didn't care at this point. It was a rare moment where he was vulnerable. After watching how Saeyoung nearly self-destructed from isolating himself, she wouldn't allow someone with the same disposition to suffer the same. She stepped closer to him.

He scrambled backwards against the bed, as if somehow she might hurt him by simply being there. She froze a moment, when his eyes widened in absolute fear. She didn't want to think of the possibility of him having a childhood flashback. She slowly lifted her hands towards him.

"What are you doing?" he hissed.

She took hold of his forearm, prepared for any of his lash outs. But they never came. His skin was cold under her fingertips. "You're shaking," she commented before gently leading his hand away from his hair, where she was sure he was inflicting pain on himself.

"So are you," he countered. A strangled laugh escaped his tight throat. "Are you scared of me…MC?"

She opened her mouth to reply, the words caught in her voice box. Was she afraid of him? Perhaps. She had seen him shoot a man. She had seen him go half insane. But, she had also seen his caring side. Buried underneath the harsh words and the claim to harm those around him, there was kindness.

Saeran narrowed his eyes. He studied her for a few moments, and just like always, she let him.

Abruptly, he snatched a tray off the table with his free hand. Out of instinct, MC let him go and went staggering backwards. She flushed when he stared at her with convicting eyes.

"See?" he said with another half laugh. He fell back against the bed. "You think you're so brave, don't you? Going to Mint Eye to supposedly save me. You're nothing more than a puppet allowing herself to be dragged along this twisted story."

MC bit down on her tongue before an unwise comment slipped and provoked him further. She dispelled her frustration for the time being. "I went to Mint Eye for the same reason your brother did."

He raised an eyebrow. She went on when he didn't speak. "B-because you're…you're family."

She winced when a loud crack echoed in the room. Saeran had flung the tray to the ground beside him, effectively shattering the plastic. She expected to see him furious, but instead his lifeless eyes bore into hers.

MC didn't understand the sudden outburst until Saeyoung came rushing in the room.

"I heard a noise," he stammered. As he spoke, his grasped MC's arm and pulled her behind him.

MC's head snapped back to Saeran who once again assumed an agitated glare, although he didn't seem as hostile. "I didn't hurt her," he said when Saeyoung kept glancing back at her. "Just take your princess and leave."

Saeyoung's protective expression dissolved into a worried one upon hearing his brother's strained voice. He fumbled forward, tugging on the edge of his blazer. "S-Saeran, I wasn't—"

"I said leave!" Saeran shouted, pointing emphatically at the door.

Saeyoung's grip on MC tightened. He pivoted on his heel and pushed her out the door with him. He closed it behind him before dragging her along through the hospital halls. She was too stunned to do anything but follow.

He walked at a continuously fast pace, leading her out into the garage area where his car was waiting. The brisk air sweeping through the open area whisked away MC's muddled thoughts. She stopped, causing Saeyoung to jolt backwards.

He turned to look at her before letting go. His silence tugged on MC's guilty conscience. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "I shouldn't…have sneaked behind your back."

He let out a harsh breath, his eyes not quite meeting hers."I'm not…I'm not angry about that. At this point, I'm very used to you running off despite instructions. I was listening at the door in case."

"Oh." MC blushed at her predictability. That's why Saeran broke the tray. He knew his brother was nearby.

So why did Saeyoung still seem so tense? He shifted on his feet, his inner conflict reflected in his jittery movements.

"How—" he started before breaking into a heavy sigh. He shook his head and threaded his hand through his curls. "I'm jealous of you, you know."

MC opened and closed her mouth several times as she attempted to grasp what he just said. She wasn't the genius hacker and secret agent. She didn't have any particular skill at all, in fact. In the end, she just ended up gesturing to herself vaguely.

"Yes, you," he emphasized. "You…you have this amazing presence that just—people open up to you. You're able to break down people's walls simply by being around them. It seems like everyone I meet just gets hurt in the end."

"That's not true," she reprimanded before his self deprecating thoughts conflagrated into his own condemnation. "And if you start pushing people away again, Saeyoung, I swear I—"

"I won't, I won't!" he lifted his hands in surrender. He yanked on his red locks before taking a few paces back. She followed him as he leaned forward against the open railing. The sun had disappeared now. The cityscape glittered like a night sky before them. It reminded her of another chilly evening, not so long ago. She and Saeyoung had only just started their search for truth, having nothing but a clue in a locked drawer. The future had appeared so murky then.

She shivered as a gust of winded ghosted across her bare skin. The discomfort was short lived as a warm weight settled on her shoulders. Saeyoung's hands lingered by the collar of his coat as he tightened around her neck. He pulled it slightly so she was facing him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm just tired and frustrated. It's hard to hope when I can't even talk to my own brother, let alone mend him."

There it was again behind his eyes. The icy tendrils of guilt wrapping itself around his already battered heart. She hated it. "It's not your job to mend him."

"No?" he challenged. "I'm the one who messed him up—"

"Stop!" she snapped. He flinched at her tone, but she went on. "You didn't mess him up, and it's not your job to mend him. You can't force him to see things a certain way, and you can't make him open up."

He gave a mirthless laugh. "Then, what the heck am I supposed to do? Stand by and watch?"

MC swallowed thickly. "N-no," she said. "I don't know what to do. But I'm not his brother, you are. When the time comes, you'll know what to say and how to support him. The mending will come with time—and his willingness."

She waited for another one of his comebacks, but it never came. His eyes flitted across her face, as if deliberating whether or not to believe her. He sighed, his breath swirling in a delicate cloud in the crisp air. "And how about you?"

"I'll be there for him too," MC replied, a small smile spreading across her lips. "And for you…whatever you need."

He pursed his lips and patted her head. "That's a dangerous promise."

She chuckled and wrapped her arms around him. She buried her face in his chest, savoring the warmth that radiated off of him. She understood exactly what she had gotten into with him. Ever since that one evening where they held each other in the hallway of Rika's apartment building with no sound but his broken sobs and her whispered affirmations, MC knew loving Saeyoung wouldn't be easy. She knew he was still healing…growing…but gosh, did he do everything to pour himself out in return.

"It'll be worth it," she said, conviction backing every word. "Saeran will see it too. Just don't give in to his pushing you away."

His hands came up and rested across the small of her back. His chest vibrated against her cheek as he spoke in his low voice. "I know I promised you a lot. A family…a steady life…and I intend to give you all of that, but it'll take some time."

MC smiled against him. "I know," she said. "And I'm willing to wait."

His lips rested against her forehead. "Thank you."

He pushed her to arm's length. "In that sense…I may not see you for the next few days. I'm sorry you'll have to stay in Jumin's hotel for a little longer."

She furrowed her brows. "What are you planning to do?"

He scratched his head. "Um, it's a surprise," he replied.

She sucked air between her teeth. "Every time you say that, I get a little nervous."

He gave her a quick peck on the lips and pushed her towards the direction of the car. "Well, you know I like to keep things interesting."

MC couldn't deny that. If handling one Choi was this interesting, she couldn't imagine what would happen when both of them finally reconciled—as she was sure they would. The thought elicited a chuckle from her. Presently, life might've been filled with hospital visits and funerals, but this wasn't the end. The future was no longer clouded and dubious, but filled with shenanigans, banters, and perhaps a few mischievous incidents. But most importantly, the future she could see for all of them was bright…and she hoped Saeyoung and Saeran would realize it soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think of MC getting a little more involved with Saeran? I'll still have some twin moments, but I think MC should be sprinkled into the story a lot more. Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Hope you all have a wonderful week:) Thank you, as always, for reading and sticking with this story!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC gets a surprise visit, and Saeyoung tries not to do something he knows he's going to do anyway...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, hey, hey~ Hope you all have been doing well this week. Here is another chapter for you, so I hope you enjoy!

It had been four days since MC had seen Saeyoung. He had sent her sporadic texts throughout the days, and called her from his house later in the evening, but he would not give any clue as to what he was doing.

She blew out her cheeks and fell back onto the hotel bed, tossing her phone aside. Despite being one of the most luxurious hotels she had ever stayed in, the sheets grated against her skin. The glittering chandelier that swung above her head seemed so mesmerizing just a week ago; now it was mundane and a few times, MC had almost wished it would fall and break the nothingness that the past week had brought.

The intercom buzzed, and MC dragged herself to answer it. Most likely, it was either room service or the occasional visit from Jaehee.

"Sorry to bother you, miss," came the soft voice of the receptionist. "But there is a man here who wishes to see you."

She furrowed her brows. Despite the immediate danger being gone, Saeyoung had warned her to be overly cautious for the next few months as the agency disbanded. "Who?"

"He says his name is Saeyoung?"

MC's heart leapt to her throat, and she almost forgot to thank the woman before snatching her jacket and phone from the bed. Energy rushed through her veins as she charged through the hallways of the hotel. She was panting by the time she reached the foyer. Her eyes darted around the area, searching for that familiar mop of red hair in the humdrum of black and white business suits and pencil skirts.

Her spirits sunk when she saw a man with shoulder-length brown hair lift up two coffee cups in the air, a smug smile spread across his face. It all fell into place.

Vanderwood beckoned her over, and MC joined him, resisting the urge to slap the smirk off his face. "That was a low blow," she snapped.

He chuckled, thoroughly amused with his deceit. "I needed to be sure you'd come out to meet me."

"You could've just said it was you," she replied, still searching around the room in hope that her boyfriend might just be there.

"He's not here," Vanderwood said, pushing the coffee into her hands. "It's just me. Let's go for a stroll."

He didn't wait for her consent as he walked through the revolving doors. MC's judgment was clouded by the extra energy from being cooped up in a small room for days on end. She trailed after him.

The bustle of the street bombarded her ears which had heard nothing but silence or classical music for most of the time. The clamor was actually soothing to her jittery mind.

"Are you done being mad?" he said, one hand finding its way into his pocket.

MC took a tentative sip of the drink before answering. "I think I'm more interested as to why you wanted to see me."

"I don't make casual visits," Vanderwood admitted. "I just wanted to make sure you're well aware of what you're getting into."

MC raised a brow and glanced sideways at the man. His face was unreadable. "You mean with Saeyoung?"

Vanderwood pursed his lips and inhaled deeply. "Sort of. More generally, though. You understand what it means to be with a secret agent, right?"

"Ex-secret agent," MC corrected. "And yes, Saeyoung outlined it for me…several times."

"Good," he nodded. MC expected more from the man, but they continued to walk several blocks in silence. They finally stopped at a crosswalk. His lips were still pressed into a tight line, but there was something behind his cold demeanor that exuded hesitance.

"There's something else, isn't there?" MC guessed.

Vanderwood didn't move, even when the crowd progressed forward to the other side of the street. For a few tense moments, his expression remained set in stone…unmoving, hard, cold. Then, there was a falter. It was so minute, MC almost blamed her imagination. "I probably shouldn't have, but after all the commotion about Luciel's background, I did some research. I found about out…well, you know. I know you two are in your honeymoon phase, but life may not always be so smooth."

MC snorted. "Our journey here hasn't been a walk in the park."

A hoarse chuckle erupted from the man's throat. He suddenly patted his pockets until he found a cigarette pack. He stuck one in his mouth and lit it with one hand. "I was thinking…I've known him for a long time, and I want to offer my help. Not to him—to you. His father isn't going to stay still if he finds his twins still alive. And, no offense, but I'm not sure there's much you'll be able to do if he comes after them."

The words stung at her own self-inflicted depreciation. "You're not wrong," she said. The thought of the prime minister actively searching for either of the twins made her blood run cold. It would be tragic, especially since they were just starting fresh. "In that sense, I'll accept your help. But…I still don't understand why."

That was when she saw it. The faint traces of embarrassment coloring his cheeks. Moreover, his unspoken statement hung obviously in the air between them: he was worried.

Saeyoung had often told her that agents didn't have families, or else they abandoned them. If that was true, Vanderwood had no one but the young hacker as a companion for years. No matter the circumstances, emotional bonding can't be stifled by sheer willpower. The slight twitch of Vanderwood's hand only confirmed it. "I'm just helping a fellow agent."

MC jumped when vibrations shot through her side, interrupting her reply. She fumbled around her pockets, accepting the call before it dropped. "Hello?"

"Congratulations! You have received a call from your love interest. Please respond appropriately to continue this call."

Butterflies fluttered through MC's stomach at Saeyoung's voice, drawing out her laughter. "606 accepts this call with lots of love being sent through the airways."

"Your love has been well-received," came the cheery answer. They shared a laugh once more before the atmosphere sobered. "Hey, listen…are you busy?"

"What do you think?" she said with a sigh. She peered sideways at Vanderwood who seemed to have gotten a call of his own. Still, she stepped a few paces away. "What's wrong?"

He lowered his voice as if paranoid another would eavesdrop. "Can I…see you?"

"Of course, silly," she said, unable to suppress the waver in her voice from excitement. "Where?"

"I'll send you the address. Come as soon as you can, okay?"

The line went dead, but it was immediately followed up by a text. MC's eyes widened when she read the address. It couldn't be…She looked up at the closest street sign. It would only take a few minutes.

She turned to Vanderwood who had just ended his call. "Hey, I got to go," she said, already stepping away from him. "Thanks for the coffee, and…I'll be in touch."

"Hey, wait—"Vanderwood began.

"Sorry! Got to dash!" she said, exhilaration carrying her feet faster than she could process. She heard his protests echoing after her, but she figured it would make them even for his little stunt earlier.

As she anticipated, it only took her a few minutes to arrive at the apartment complex where she had spent arguably the longest week of her life. She hadn't visited since she and Saeyoung set off for Mint Eye, a little over a month ago.

She wondered why he was here to begin with, but she didn't let her fear stop her from entering. It certainly didn't the first time.

She found her way up the elevator and smiled at the camera planted in the hallway. A nostalgic warmth flowed through her body at the sight of it. It was odd how a piece of technology held so much meaning. She was about to punch in the numbers at the door, but she remembered the special security system…Was it still on?

She rapped her knuckles against the door, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She was almost ready to pounce when the door opened, but she was glad she kept her ground. Jaehee gave her a soft smile, seemingly understanding her confusion.

"Hello, MC," she said. "Good to see you. Saeyoung is waiting inside."

MC returned the greeting and entered at Jaehee's beckoning. Then her focus zeroed in on the dorky face grinning at her from the kitchen. He was a mess, really. His hair was mussed, his glasses smudged, and there were a few streaks of an unknown black substance on his cheek. But honestly, MC couldn't care less.

She rushed into his open arms with a small squeal, and he spun her around on the kitchen floor. It was melodramatic for two people who had only been apart four days, but somehow, it was… incredibly them.

They pulled away when Jaehee cleared her throat. The woman gave a shy smile before pointing to the door. "Now that MC is here, would you mind if I pop into the convenience store from some coffee?"

Saeyoung waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, of course. Go ahead. Um…thanks, Jaehee."

He barely waited ten seconds after Jaehee left before grabbing MC's waist and pushing her onto the counter.

Their noses and foreheads kept ramming into each other awkwardly in their reckless attempts to close the distance between them. With a frustrated groan, Saeyoung cupped her face and crashed his lips against hers. The contact was brief, but it still stirred a tingling sensation through MC's limbs. She slid her arms around his neck, and he pulled away by barely a few centimeters. "I missed you," she mumbled against his mouth.

He hummed contentedly as he looked at her, his eyes half lidded and sparkling. "Me too," he murmured. He lips peppered her neck with soft kisses that caused her to squirm and giggle.

"How has it only been four days since I've heard that laugh in person?" he moaned forlornly. He pressed one last languid kiss to the underside of her chin before releasing a gentle sigh, his warm breath spreading across the skin of her neck and sending shivers down her spine.

Her fingers naturally found their way to his hair as she rested her cheek against the top of his head. "So, why did you call me here of all places?"

Just like the phone call earlier, his demeanor shifted. "Saeran is starting psychological therapy today. I…don't want to do anything hasty. I asked Jaehee to stay and call Jumin as well."

MC frowned. He had mentioned earlier that week that he would let the doctors finish their treatment before visiting his brother again. She only hoped it wasn't an excuse to distance himself. After all, Saeyoung still seemed to hold on to the ridiculous assumption that his presence was poison to certain people. Nonetheless, she would trust his judgment. It was his brother after all.

"So, the security system…" she began.

"Gone. For good."

So that explained his absence for the past few days. She tilted her head. "Was this the surprise you were talking about?"

His eyes crinkled as his face split into one of the most beautiful smiles MC had ever seen. He had looked at her many times…but for some reason, the way he gazed at her now was different in a way she couldn't describe. It sent fire searing through every inch of her body. "Not even close," he replied. "Though, it's part of it."

The click of the door interrupted the moment. MC quickly slid off the counter as Jaehee returned carrying a few small bags. What she didn't expect was Vanderwood trailing behind her. Had he followed her?

"Why did you call her?" Saeyoung deadpanned before MC could even question the ex-agent's presence. "Where's Jumin?"

Jaehee set the bags on the table. "Mr. Han will need some time to get here, so thought meanwhile, you could talk to her—er-him."

"When did you exchange numbers?" MC raised a brow.

"Is that what's important right now?" she returned evenly.

"Hey," Saeyoung snapped at Vanderwood. "If you even try making a move on anyone I know, I'll personally make your life hell."

Jaehee let out an indignant yelp at the implication, although MC couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of those two dating. It was too bizarre.

Vanderwood strutted up to Saeyoung and pinched his cheek tightly. "As if you don't already. Aren't you glad to see me?"

The young hacker huffed and shoved his hand away. "Can't we be strangers from now on?"

"What? Come on. I've known you way longer than anyone in the RFA. You can't get rid of me that easily. You don't remember how many times I visited you at the hospital when you were there? I even visited your girlfriend just now."

Saeyoung clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. MC frowned, seeing stress bubbling underneath the surface of his short remarks. "Did you two know each other long?" she said in attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

Saeyoung patted her head. "Don't worry about her, okay?" he turned to Vanderwood. "Since when were you so friendly with me anyway?"

"I need a job," Vanderwood replied, although he cast an uneasy glance at MC. The request could be true, but that wasn't his main motivation, was it?

"Don't feel like it," Saeyoung replied with a shrug. He flopped back onto the couch, yanking MC down with him.

"Don't be like that," MC cooed. He shot her a disapproving look.

"Do you want my job?" Jaehee offered far too easily.

Vanderwood lit up. "You work for that rich guy, right? Is there an opening?"

Saeyoung kicked his leg. "I said stop bothering my friends. Go to someone else."

MC watched helplessly as the two bantered as if no one else was present. She had thought it was a side effect from all the stress of their situation at Mint Eye, but she was beginning to see it was normal behavior for them.

"I guess you two are close," she mumbled under her breath.

"Yeah, we're close!" Vanderwood spluttered. "We also owe each other our lives. Remember how you called me your maid? Where's that guy? Why are you so serious now?"

MC inwardly winced when Saeyoung's features hardened. "My twin brother is lying sick on a hospital bed. You think I'm up for joking around with someone who once tried to kill me?"

MC and Jaehee turned to Vanderwood, expecting a shocked or even apologetic expression. But he didn't miss a beat. He casually lowered himself onto one of the chairs, clasping his hands behind his head. "That's true," he replied. "You know, Luciel, you change characters too often. You were completely different when I first met you."

"Since you're here…how was he before?" Jaehee asked.

MC smirked at the blush spreading across Saeyoung's cheeks. "Oh, don't," he pleaded.

"I want to know," she said. His head snapped over to her.

"You do?"

Vanderwood crossed his arms and shook his head. "She's got you on a leash."

Saeyoung groaned and buried his face in his hands as the older man continued to divulge his "past personalities." MC couldn't stop grinning as she listened. She wasn't sure if it was because it seemed to completely contrast Saeyoung's current habits, or because his face turned as red as his hair with all the stories.

Jaehee laughed incredulously. "How did he change so much?" she asked, studying Saeyoung as if she still couldn't believe it. MC didn't think he changed that much. He still had that serious side to him, just as he had his lighter side.

She started when Vanderwood mumbled something about a book of fairy tales. She leaned over and lowered her voice, "Is that the one that had the floppy disk?"

Saeyoung nodded. "It is."

"There was a floppy disk?" Vanderwood barked. MC grimaced and gave Saeyoung an apologetic smile.

He shook his head dismissively. "Rika sent a floppy disk with my brother's photos on them."

"Agents aren't supposed to have any evidence of their family."

"That's why she hid it like that, idiot," Saeyoung retorted. He melted back into the couch, his hand wandering to MC's knee. "I felt safe looking at them. I thought…he was happier without me."

The doorbell rang disrupting their group's conversation. MC turned to Saeyoung while Jaehee went to answer it. "You don't think that now, right?" she ventured.

"Sometimes," he said before throwing himself onto her sideways, his arms flopping around her in a loose embrace. "But then this pretty girl always seems to come into my life and tell me differently."

"Oh?" MC began with faux indifference. "Who's this girl?"

"Elly."

His wit earned him a smack upside the head, but he only laughed. Their antics were cut short when Jumin towered over them, his grey eyes dispelling the lighter mood. "I just got a call from the hospital."

Saeyoung pushed himself upright. "Did something happen?"

Jumin adjusted his cuffs and even hesitated before answering. "Saeran just assaulted his therapist and has been refusing all treatment."

Saeyoung's face lost several shades of color. "I…have to go see him."

"That's not a good idea," Jumin interjected. "He's extremely unstable, so we should leave it to the experts."

"He's probably in pain," Saeyoung protested. He turned to MC and pecked her forehead before standing. "I need to go, okay?"

"Wait, let me—"

"It's dangerous, so please don't follow me. I mean it."

"Saeyoung!" she called after he rushed out the door. Didn't he call everyone there to stop himself from doing this? And now he just intended to dismiss them. Irritation prickled under MC's skin as she stood from the couch.

Ignoring the further complaints of the others, she rushed after him. She managed to catch up to him in the garage where his car was parked.

She didn't bother calling out, deciding instead to wait by the passenger's side. It was only now did his attention jump to her. "What do you think you're doing?" he snapped.

"What does it look like?" she replied, jiggling the handle. "Open the door, please."

"You're not coming," Saeyoung insisted.

"If think it's best to see Saeran, fine. But you're not going alone," she gestured vaguely behind her. "You heard Jumin. He's not stable right now."

"Exactly! That's why you need to stay here."

For a few moments, they argued with their eyes. MC knew from experience that Saeyoung was stubborn, especially when it came to her safety. But she wouldn't be easily persuaded either. He let out a loud groan and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine! But you stay outside of the room until I give the go ahead. Got it?"

She lifted her hands in surrender, and he clicked the button on his keys. She slid into the seat next to him as he started the engine. "You know, MC," he began, pulling out of the garage. "I love you, but sometimes you really get under my skin."

"Ditto, sweetheart," she replied. She peered at him out of the corner of her eyes. His jaw clenched and unclenched at steady intervals, and his cheeks were still drained of color. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Nope," he admitted.

MC let out a dry laugh as the nerves started to settle in. This would be interesting, to say the least…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue twin angst in the foreseeable future...Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! As always, I love to hear your thoughts, guesses, etc. :) Honestly, every little comment makes my day, so thank you for sticking with me this far~ Hope you have a wonderful week filled with ice cream and honey buddha chip...but, er, maybe not together. See you soon!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung tries to take the first step towards fixing things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey~ Ready for the twin angst? Well, here's some;) Enjoy, guys!

Saeyoung's heart thudded against his ribs, droning out the chaotic shouting leaving his brother's room. He remembered vaguely telling the nurse he'd clean up the mess if only to have a few minutes. His fingers rested on the doorknob of Saeran's room. They trembled, and he lost grip quite a few times.

He peered through the window. The tips of Saeran's fingers stuck out from his scruffy white hair. His shoulders rose and fell unevenly, and his blankets were no longer covering his far too pale legs.

Saeyoung allowed himself one final prepping breath. Letting his limbs move automatically, he opened the door and stepped into the room. The area was an absolute nightmare. Blankets, empty cups, and even a Bible was strewn across the floor. He lifted his gaze from the mess and looked at his brother.

Saeran gave no initial response at first. It was when he was calm like this that Saeyoung's mind flashed back to their childhood. He wasn't staring at "Unknown", a hacker who wanted nothing more but to make his life miserable. He was peering straight into the eyes of his brother…a wrongly abused boy who was given a bad hand in this game of life. Saeyoung's heart clenched when Saeran's face morphed into a scowl.

"I told you to get lost," he tried to snap, but his voice was so hoarse, it faltered. "Leave."

Saeyoung heard the words, but they didn't register. The first thing he did was swipe the Bible off the floor. He brushed off the dust and ran a finger over the gold lettering. He remembered bringing one home for Saeran when he started going to church. He remembered how the younger boy's eyes would sparkle in wonder…even in the dryer parts. But then, their mother had caught them and threw the book out before beating Saeyoung for sneaking out to get it.

He pushed the unpleasant memory out of his head and hurriedly placed the book into the drawer. He wondered if it triggered the same in Saeran's mind. "Do you feel pain in your head still?" he asked.

Saeran furrowed his brows. "N-no," he replied. "Why do you care? "

Saeyoung continued picking things up from the floor, trying not to flinch anytime Saeran moved. He seemed stable…at least at the moment. "I'm your brother," he said with a shrug.

"And what does that have to do with anything?" Saeran scoffed. "It didn't stop you from leaving before, so what has changed?"

Saeyoung shut his eyes. His chest throbbed with compounding guilt…Saeran was right. "It's different now," he said. He placed the stray items onto the bed. He slowly lifted his gaze to his brother. "I'm here now, and I'm not planning to go anywhere."

It was the first time he let Saeyoung get so close for so long. Finally, the red head could see the true damage Mint Eye had done to his twin. The white scars lining his upper arms…the bones protruding from his chest from malnutrition…his sunken cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

It hurt to see him like this. No…it was agony, but Saeyoung branded it in his mind and forced himself to take in every detail. He was going to turn this around if it killed him. After all, it happened because of Saeyoung's own stupid…stupid mistake.

Suddenly, Saeran's hands shot out and snatched the collar of his jacket. Saeyoung stumbled forward, caught off guard by the tug.

"It's disgusting that I have to breathe in the same place as you!" Saeran shouted. His bearing changed like a switch, turning from composed to frenzied. He shook Saeyoung roughly. "You piece of trash! You could have disappeared when I told you to, no?"

The grip around his jacket tightened. Perhaps it was the bond between twins, but Saeyoung could feel the anger coursing through Saeran, shooting currents of shame straight into him.

"Do whatever you want to me, Saeran," he pleaded. "If it makes you feel better, just do it. Hit me…slap me…throw me across the room. I don't care."

"I'm going to kill you," Saeran growled through gritted teeth. "I'm serious."

He jolted Saeyoung again forcing him to open his eyes. The dull pang in chest began again. Saeran released his hold with one hand, bringing fingernails to his own cheek. He slid down his skin, leaving a white mark. "I want to carve out every part of me that looks like you. Do you know that? My hair, my face, my fingers…everything I want to carve them off!"

Saeyoung was suffocating. Each word Saeran spoke against himself summoned guilt and remorse, both inflicting pain in the pit of Saeyoung's chest. Why wasn't he turning this anger towards him? He shouldn't be hating himself.

"The biggest mistake in my life is being born from the same womb as you," Saeran rasped. Saeyoung choked back the sob that threatened to erupt from his throat. "You think I'm going to forgive you if you make sad faces like that? You think that this weak boy is going to come out again and call your name, right?"

"No," Saeyoung forced. He swallowed against the heaviness constricting his vocal cords. "I just want—"

"You're worse than the woman who gave birth to me," Saeran went on, growing quieter. "You ruined my life…All I want is to be born again."

Saeyoung's stomach dropped. His blood ran cold with dread at the younger twin's surrendered tone. "Saeran, don't—"

"I want to die."

The words came out broken, but painfully full of candor. Saeyoung wanted to throw up. What had he done? How much pain had Saeran been subjected to that he wanted to slip away forever? He couldn't breathe. Every word stung like a whip on his back. He wanted to scream for Saeran to stop. He wanted to tell him to kill him right there on the spot if it meant he lived.

Saeran's hands shook. "Looking at you reminds me of how much I look like you. I want to die-"

"Don't say that." The words spilled from Saeyoung's mouth in his desperation to make it end. He could handle the hatred. He could handle any words Saeran threw at him, but the thought of Saeran disappearing from this world because of him…because of his stupid decisions…he would never forgive himself if it happened.

But Saeran had no intention of being merciful. "You wanted the truth, right?" he spat. He drew Saeyoung close so they were eye to eye. He paused for a moment, letting his twin take in the scars that couldn't be seen on the surface. "I want to disappear from this world without leaving a trace."

Saeyoung snapped. He shoved Saeran's hands away and stumbled back, almost knocking over the chair in the process.

"Stop!" he said. The floor shifted beneath him, and he clutched his spinning head. "Stop it! Don't ever think that. Don't—"

His throat closed, making it impossible to speak. Saeran's form blurred as tears pricked his eyes. Before they could fall, he turned his back. He didn't want Saeran to see how broken he was. It would only fuel him more.

Frantically trying to wipe his damp face on his sleeve, he hurried out of the room. He ignored the nurses' questioning stares and walked wherever his legs could take him. He couldn't breathe. He needed air.

He wasn't sure how he ended up outside, but the warm sun only burned his eyes. He ducked for cover under the shade on the side of the building. He was glad no one was present as he leaned against the brick wall, waiting for the dizziness to subside. Bile stung at the back of his throat, but he swallowed it down. He lowered himself to the ground, running a hand across his face. He released a shallow breath, a sob escaping with it.

"Saeyoung?"

He didn't have to look up to know who it was. He propped his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his arms feeling embarrassed at his overwhelming emotions. He braced himself for one of MC's prodding admonitions or sweet words of advice…neither what he needed right now. Instead, her arm brushed his side. She sat in silence.

There was something so stagnant about the moment. The wind was still. The talk of people on the street seemed muted. The grass and the trees were a dull green as clouds passed overhead. Life itself just seemed to stop. Saeyoung lifted his head, his mind still echoing the despondent cries of his brother.

A can of Ph.D. Pepper appeared in before his sight, breaking him out of his daze. He accepted it with a half-hearted smile. He took a few sips, the fizziness soothing his tumultuous stomach, and pressed the cool can against his face.

"What are you going to do now?" MC asked. Her voice was so small, as if speaking a decibel higher would somehow shatter him.

"I don't know," he replied. He fixed his eyes on nothing in particular, welcoming the numbness beginning to wash away the freshly inflicted pain in his chest. "If I stay, he's miserable. If I go…"

He might kill himself.

He shook his head, not wanting to entertain the thought. He leaned back against the wall. "You know, I used to read this book to Saeran when we were little. It was always about good people won over bad in the end. I think…in the real world, it's different."

MC stiffened beside him, but didn't voice her disagreement. "Maybe he just needs time," she suggested.

Saeyoung blew a puff of air from his mouth, effectively pushing his bangs out of his eyes. "How do you get close to a person who wants nothing to do with you?"

"Perseverance."

He started at how quickly she answered. He rubbed the back of his neck, remembering she was probably speaking from experience.

"Can I ask you something?" she said, turning to face him. He gave a grunt of affirmation. She hesitated before going on. "Sorry if this is really random, I just…always wondered. You always said you pushed me away because you didn't want me to get hurt…but what made you break?"

Saeyoung snorted at the memory. At the time, his greatest concern was making sure she didn't shove a granola bar down his throat. He waited before answering, truly thinking of the reason. Did he even know? It was almost as MC slowly whittled away at the wall he had built, and before he understood what was happening, she had become an immoveable part of his heart.

"You were so bright," he said finally. "I thought I really wasn't worth all the attention you were giving me. But…when you kept trying—I don't know. I thought, maybe, happiness wasn't so bad. Maybe, if you saw something in me, my life might've been worth something."

Hope…that was she gave him. A trickle of warmth spread through his chest in remembrance. He was so cold then…defensive and locked up.

He reached out for her hand instinctively, double checking that it had happened. That part of his life was over. "You know, before you…I used to think my existence was a burden? I thought that I was just impeding everyone's happiness, including my own."

"I know," MC said with displeasure. "I remember you said you had no desire to live long."

He hummed, suddenly feeling sick at the thought. "Yeah, I couldn't wait until I just disappeared—"

He stopped abruptly. His brain suddenly sparked, leading way to an endless string of thought. His mind flashed back to the first reunion with Saeran at Magenta…what he said…his view of what happened. He felt like a burden back then…didn't he?

"MC…" he began slowly. "Do you think that theory they say about twins is true? That they think the same."

Her fingers tightened their hold on his hand. She followed his thought process…as only she could. His body surged with a new determination at the soft smile she offered. He stood, unwittingly pulling her up with him.

He rested a hand on her hair and locked his eyes on hers. "Thank you," he said. It was all he could say for the maelstrom of emotions raging inside of him.

"For what?" she scoffed.

He sighed at insecurities hiding behind her sparkling eyes. He saw them there frequently of late, and sometimes he found himself worrying that they would overtake her and swallow up the precious light in her tender heart. He swore he would stop it before that happened.

"Don't act like that," he scolded lightly. He kissed the top of her head. "It's because of you that I'm even here—that Saeran's even here. And besides…it's because of you that I think I know what I need to do now. Maybe it was good you came along after all."

She said nothing, but there was no need to. The soft glow of her smile was enough.

Together, they re-entered the building, making their way back towards Saeran's room. Saeyoung was shaking, but he wasn't going to stop now. He stopped in front of the door, MC hovering nearby.

"Should I come in too?" she asked.

He was touched by her insistency, no matter how much she made him worry sometimes. Not many people would willingly accept someone who had previously tried to kill them. MC…she was different. She was a two in this world of zeroes and ones.

"Not yet," he said, lightly rubbing her arms. "He's still unstable. Maybe you should just go back to the apartment for now, okay?"

She didn't seem too thrilled. "I'm seeing him tomorrow then," she compromised. Reluctantly, he agreed. It was enough to get her to comply and return home for now.

Once she was gone, Saeyoung faced the door. He took a deep breath and opened it once more. Saeran blinked at him a few times, questioning his presence.

"I'm back," Saeyoung said, his voice surprisingly steady. "I'll watch over you…until you're healthy and can walk out of this room. I'm not giving up on you this time."

Saeran stared for a while longer before bursting out laughing. It wasn't a happy laughter. It was mocking, and the confidence that seemed to rush into Saeyoung just moments threatened to sink into a hole.

His twin ruffled his white hair before leaning over towards the window. "We'll see how long that lasts."

Saeyoung pressed his lips in a fine line. Like heck he was going to give up this early. He marched over to the chair next to the hospital bed and sat down. His brother lifted a wary gaze towards him. He seemed fine for a few moments, but then the anger resurged.

First, he threw a pillow. Saeyoung calmly replaced it on the bed. Then it was a cup. He barely dodged that one, but still he put it back in its proper place. The ice pack, admittedly stung a bit as it crashed into his back, but even so, he bit back any cry and placed it on the side.

Saeran let out an almost feral growl before flopping back onto the bed like a petulant child. He crossed his arms and glared at Saeyoung. The latter did nothing, despite the unease creeping through his limbs. Instead, he pulled out his phone and busied himself with a few games.

Time passed slowly. There was little noise besides the creak of the bed when Saeran tossed and turned. Occasionally, he tried throwing something, but Saeyoung would either catch it or simply move out the way. He could feel his brother's irritation building with every test, until finally he groaned in frustration.

"I don't want you here!" Saeran snapped. "Why won't you leave!"

The words reopened the damage he wreaked earlier. Still, Saeyoung managed to put on a smile. "I told you. I'm staying until you're well enough to leave. I'll do whatever you want while I'm here, but I'm not leaving."

"So stupid," Saeran hissed, once again turning to his side.

Saeyoung released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He checked his watch. It had been nearly two hours…and this was the calmest he'd been. "When was the last time you've eaten?"

"Does it matter?"

"It's okay. I'll ask the nurse—"

"Around one," Saeran said. He hugged himself tighter. "Just don't bring that nurse back."

Saeyoung grimaced at the discomfort lacing his words. "O-okay. Maybe we can bring you something other than hospital food."

He stood and walked to the door, intending to stop by some of the places he saw across the street with decent food. But when he opened the door, he nearly ran into MC, her arms full of bags.

He rolled his eyes. "I told you to go back to the apartment."

"And I did," she returned evenly. "But it was nearing dinner time, and I thought you wouldn't want to leave. I ran across the street for some take out." She lifted one arm up and peered past him. "I even asked the doctor what you could eat, Saeran. I'm sure it tastes better than the food they give."

The younger twin stared in awe just as he did when Saeyoung entered the room the second time. Confusion clouded his features as he glanced down at the bags.

Saeyoung relieved her of some of the load. "Thank you," he mumbled. "You really didn't have to."

"Oh, well, you know how it is with you and eating," she shrugged. "I thought I'd save myself the trouble of worrying about you later."

He chuckled. The cheeriness in her voice was contagious.

Fearing Saeran would only throw the food aside, Saeyoung cautiously offered the bag. The white-haired boy scowled. "I'm not hungry."

"You still have to eat," MC said from the door before Saeyoung could.

"I decide what I want to do," he spat back.

"You can decide that when you're out of this room," Saeyoung returned. He didn't mean to sound so stern. His concern had been simmering underneath his collected mask all day. He quickly softened his tone. "I-I just mean—"

Saeran snatched the bag from him and sat up, placing the container on his lap. He opened the lid of what seemed like a soup and swirled it around with a plastic spoon. Saeyoung and MC watched until he took a tentative bite.

"Stop staring!" he snapped.

"Er—you should probably go," Saeyoung whispered to MC.

She seemed ready to argue, but in the end, she just nodded. "Please be careful," she said, before giving Saeran a small wave. "Bye, Saeran. Rest up!"

"Oh?" he tilted his head in response. "You're not here to invade my space this time? The kitten retracts her claws."

Saeyoung looked between the two, trying to decipher whatever silent exchange they seemed to be having. MC's features hardened, but her eyes still shone bright. He could already see her contemplating whether or not to stay after all, so he gently prodded her towards the door. "Stay safe getting home. Call me if anything happens, and get some sleep, okay?"

"You too," she said pointedly. "And I'll come back tomorrow."

He sighed, but knew there was no point in fighting her on it. He waited until she disappeared in the hall before returning to the room. Saeran's bowl was half finished, surprisingly, and now set to the side.

"Done?" Saeyoung said, taking it away anyway and placing it on the other side of the room…just in case. He sat down and started picking at his own food.

"How long do you plan to keep this up?" Saeran demanded.

"Hmm?"

The younger boy tugged at his pink strands. "You're too close. It's annoying."

Saeyoung obliged and pushed the seat a few feet back. Saeran prickled in annoyance, but his demeanor ultimately didn't change. "If you need anything, I'll be right here," Saeyoung said.

Saeran rubbed his face. "This is trouble," he muttered underneath his breath.

He probably shouldn't have, but Saeyoung couldn't help the dry chuckle that escaped his throat. Just a month ago, he was the one chasing Saeran away in attempt to rid the RFA of a potentially dangerous hacker. Now, they were in a hospital room and he was the one insisting on staying. If circumstances weren't so tragic, it might've been borderline comedic.

With his stomach still playing the role of a rollercoaster, he gave up the thought of eating after a few bites and stretched out in the chair. He had time to kill, and Saeran was in one of his sulkier—but quieter- moods. He reached into his jacket pocket, retrieving the small notebook inside along with a pencil. He searched through the marked pages of his current project, trying to block out the sounds of Saeran's beeping monitor, indicating his rising heart rate.

His rehabilitation would take time, he knew. Physically, he'd need time to recover. Mentally and emotionally, he'd need time to heal. And for them to be on good terms? Well…that would depend on Saeran.

But despite circumstances, Saeyoung would grasp onto hope. No…he would cling onto it for dear life. In his world of darkness, light was just beginning break through, and if it were to slip away into the abyss once more…it would obliterate him.

Like Saeran's recovery, his little project would take time. But, just looking at the rough sketches already outlined on the page brought hope for the future. Just like the person it was intended for.

After checking on Saeran once more, Saeyoung turned the notebook to a new page. He took a deep breath and wrote the title on top.

"MC's Ring: Final Design."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, more twin centered, but no worries...MC isn't going to stay away:) Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I look forward to hearing any of your thoughts. Hope you all have a wonderful week and warm weather wherever you are:) 
> 
> Oh! Soooo, I dusted off my old tumblr account, which I have been off of for a little while. I have recently made a side blog just for Mystic Messenger where I plan to maybe put smaller drabbles and things onto, and also a place to talk to other MM fans. If any of you have a tumblr, feel free to send me a message with your url or leave it in a comment. I might be following already if you've been around for a little while, but yeah. Also, feel free to send a request or something related to MM, and I may write some in my spare time:) Anywho, the url is: spacechip707 (.) tumblr (.) com


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC finds Saeran is harder to crack...but that doesn't mean she doesn't try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I know I didn't update last week. I had no time to finish the chapter after the Choi bday fic, and then when i did, I realized it was pretty crap, so I decided I'd give a decent one late instead. So here's my chapter...rewritten at least three times...hahaha. Screw writer's block. Hope you enjoy!

MC tapped her phone against her leg, waiting for the vibration. She was already at the hospital. She told Saeyoung she was coming, but he hadn't replied since. She wasn't sure if he was just annoyed or if Saeran was so unstable that he was busy. Either way, her stomach twisted in knots.

She did want to see Saeran again; their last meeting didn't go well, and she wanted to mend that. But at the same time…she didn't want to intrude. Maybe, she won Saeyoung over by being persistent, but that was different. At the time, she had a gut feeling that he kind of cared for her… and she was practically head over heels for him.

She wasn't so sure where she stood with Saeran. How does one approach their kidnapper turned, hopefully, future brother-in-law?

She peered up at the building, her eyes scanning the numerous windows hoping for a glimpse of that familiar red hair. "Well," she said under her breath. "I can see Saeyoung if nothing else."

She entered the building, finding her way to Saeran's room. The sign in sheet indicated Saeyoung was definitely there since very early that morning. In fact, it seemed he barely went home last night.

"Hypocrite," MC muttered. She checked herself in and walked to the door. It was left open for the first time since Saeran was admitted. That was a good sign, right? She was about to knock anyway, when she noticed the younger twin laying on his side, his arm dangling off one side of the bed and his mouth hanging slightly ajar. His mint eyes focused on the ground…or rather beyond it.

It was amazing how he could appear perfectly quiescent, but at the same time, a tumultuous conflict raged behind his eyes; she wondered if she would ever decipher its cause.

His eyes flitted up her frame until they met her own. MC clenched the side of her jacket, forcing down her skittish fingers. She gave him a small wave.

"Why are you just standing there?" he frowned. It was the first time she had heard him speak so quietly…almost in a whisper.

She took his question as an invitation and inched forward. "Good afternoon," she said.

Perhaps it was instinct, but she immediately sought out Saeyoung in the room. She expected to see him absorbed in something…his laptop, a magazine…about to give an excuse as to why he hadn't been answering his calls. But instead, she took in the sight of her boyfriend sprawled out on a chair, a notebook lying face down on his stomach and his glasses slightly askew.

"I don't why he came here this morning if he was just going to sleep," Saeran scoffed. "But I guess he's quieter this way."

MC turned to face the younger twin. He was sitting upright now. His gaze kept drifting to the red head in the chair, as if unsure if he were there.

"He probably didn't mean to," MC sighed. "After the funeral, he went to disable the bomb for the next few days, and then he came straight here. He's probably exhausted."

"Funeral?" Saeran repeated the word emptily.

MC internally cringed. Why did she open her mouth?

His eyes widened in realization, and he stared down at his hands. For a moment, a flicker of remorse danced across his features before he clenched his fists and pressed his lips in a fine line. "You mean…I…"

MC's mouth went dry when he looked up at her for affirmation. Despite his coolness, his brow twitched as he waited for her words.

"Sorry," was all she could say.

He huffed out something between a scoff and a sigh of disbelief. "No wonder you're scared of me," he said, running his fingers through his hair. Initially, he appeared nonchalant. But his gradual distress was evident in his increasingly jittery movements…the tapping of his leg, the unnecessary scratching on his arms, the hard blinking. He noticed MC's staring and hurriedly turned his attention to the window.

She hesitated before taking a step towards the bed. "I'm not—"

"Don't lie to me," Saeran spat.

She chewed on her bottom lip. How could she even deny it now? He had threatened her in the past, forced pain on his own brother—he killed a man in front of her for goodness' sake. She would be lying to herself if she said she was completely indifferent to any of those things.

"Fine," she returned. "Yes, you still…you still make me nervous."

"Good," he said, bring his focus back to her. "So, listen to your fear, and leave me alone." He jerked his chin towards Saeyoung's sleeping form. "And take him with you."

MC took another step forward. It was he who flinched this time. "Just because I'm nervous doesn't mean I'm leaving. I want to…help you if I can, Saeran."

Just like her admittance to fearing him, this statement was equally true. MC believed one's past defined their present—who they were, how they reacted. But she didn't believe it should define their future. People could change.

"And if I don't want help?" he challenged.

The slight waver in his voice contradicted his bold words. "Then refuse it when you leave this building," she shrugged. "But…you don't have to go through this alone, you know."

He snorted and shook his head. He muttered something under his breath, but MC didn't catch it. She cleared her throat and gestured to the chair next to Saeyoung. "S-so, can I stay?"

He regarded her in silence for a few moments. He gave no answer, but turned on his side, facing the window. MC took his lack of protest as a reluctant consent and slowly lowered herself beside Saeyoung.

As the sun beat down on Saeran's cheek, she noticed some of the color had returned to his face. He still harbored aggression in his mien, but she wondered if it was just a defense mechanism.

MC's focus snapped to her boyfriend when he shifted suddenly. Still asleep, he propped his head onto his chin, smushing his cheek against his face. He looked so cute like that, she thought absentmindedly. Her eyes drifted to the notebook on his stomach. He was always thinking of new inventions and robots and doodling them inside.

Curiosity got to her, and she reached out to gently extract the book from his fingers. She barely nudged it when he jolted upward, startling her in the process.

He clutched the notebook to his chest, his wide eyes fixed on her for several heartbeats. "MC?" he blinked. The syllables of her name slurred together as he spoke through the haziness of sleep.

"Saeyoung, you scared the mess out of me," MC breathed, resting her hand over her pounding heart.

He didn't even apologize. His eyes trailed down her frame disbelievingly. "When did you get here?"

"A few minutes ago," she replied. "You were asleep. I did call you earlier."

MC gestured to his phone on the table. He picked up the device and scanned through the notifications. "Oh," he said. "I'm sorry. I didn't even see you called. Is everything okay at the apartment? Did Jumin or Jaehee call or something—"

She chuckled at his frantic tone. "Everything is fine," she pressed a hand against his chest. "I just came to visit you, if not Saeran."

He started at the mention of his twin. He darted his attention towards the bed, his hands gripping the arms of the chair as if ready to jump into action. He exhaled sharply before settling back into place. "Oh…he's asleep."

MC furrowed her brows. She too turned towards Saeran, who was still in the same position as earlier, but his eyes now closed. His lashes fluttered against his skin like they had when she visited in the hospital before. She wondered if he was having those dreams… the ones that seemed to haunt him even in his unconsciousness. She wasn't sure she would ever be able to forget the absolute fear in his soft whimpers.

"How is he?" MC asked, though she couldn't manage to look away from the twin. Like earlier, there was this odd juxtaposition between peace and turmoil. It was both fascinating and painful to watch.

Saeyoung inhaled deeply, twisting the notebook between his hands. He too couldn't seem to look away. "I don't know. He's calmer, but I feel like there's something off. It's like he's always planning to…leave, somehow."

MC understood the implication. She wondered if that's why most of Saeran's things seemed to be shifted to the tables behind them. His side of the room was empty. There were no cups, trays, vases, pill bottles, or even a plastic knife…just an empty paper plate with a half-eaten portion of rice.

When she turned back to Saeyoung, those familiar traces of despair creeped into his fixed stare, curving his lips downward and pooling inside his golden eyes. Eager to yank him out of his own head, she made an over exaggerated sweep towards the notebook. He reacted quickly and held it out of her reach. She pouted. "What's with the secrecy?"

"Just that. It's a secret," he replied, pressing a finger to her lips. "If you even peek once, I will have to take drastic measures."

She crossed her arms. "What measures?"

He smirked, and her stomach flipped. "You want to be the object of my wrath?"

She leaned away with a nervous chuckle. "N-no," she said. "I get it."

Despite the risk of having surfaced his sadistic streak, her motive succeeded when a smile spread across his face, casting away any tension that lined his features. He tucked the notebook neatly inside his jacket, patting it to mock her. "Did you eat?" he asked.

"Earlier," she replied. "But you probably haven't. Why don't you go get something?"

He let out an ambiguous grunt. "I can't just leave him," he said. "I'll get something later."

MC huffed and poked his arm. "Then you'll say the same thing later until you've gone a whole day without food. Just go. He's asleep, and…I can stay."

He turned his head abruptly towards her. Denial was on his lips. She could feel it. But there was something akin to hesitance in the way he kept opening and closing his mouth. He pursed his lips and glanced sideways. "I…I'm not sure that's a good idea. What if he has one of his fits?"

Before MC could open her mouth, another voice cut in.

"The door is open, and she can call for a nurse. They always seem to want to sedate me anyway. It'll give them the chance."

Both of them turned to Saeran, who was awake once more, or, more likely, had never been asleep in the first place.

"You…want me to stay?" MC asked, exchanging confused glances with Saeyoung.

"Well, if he's so unwilling to leave me alone," Saeran said. He eyed his brother with such malice…as if he were the most undeserving trash on the planet. "Then I'd rather stay with you than suffocate another hour with this idiot."

MC winced. She watched as Saeyoung's features fell, weighed down by the chains of guilt he insisted on carrying. "Well, if you say so," he replied. He looked so…weary. She prayed he hadn't been taking Saeran's acidic words to heart. She wasn't even sure Saeran meant them-at least, she hoped it was only his way of keeping himself isolated.

"Saeyoung—" MC began.

He stood from his chair abruptly, and a cheery smile magically arose on his lips. It looked so foreign in a place where his natural, bright grin usually rested. She knew it would be short-lived…disappearing as soon as he walked out of the door. It seemed like he still kept a few of his masks after all.

"I'll get us all some lunch then," he chirped, moving towards the door. He paused near the threshold and discreetly mouthed a "Be careful" before disappearing into the hall.

Saeran stared after his brother, looking aware and almost pleased at the hurt he had caused. MC's grip tightened on the arm of her chair. "You really shouldn't do that," she blurted, the heat of the moment causing the words to tumble out of her mouth. "He's trying to help you."

He raised his brows, obviously astounded at her sudden boldness. "Him? How is he helping by staying here?"

"He's taking care of you," she pointed out.

"I don't want him to," Saeran returned. "I wish he would just disappear and let me exist in peace. All these years, he left and didn't even bother finding out about me, and now suddenly he's changed? Now suddenly he wants me to accept him? I was just fine without him!"

His eyes flashed in building anger, and MC began to regret provoking him. She should have held her tongue. He flung out a few swears before he grabbed for something next to him. But his hand fell through air, causing him to slam his fist against the bedside table. He hissed and massaged the offending area with his fingers.

MC resisted the urge to recoil. She leaned forward to check if he had worsened some sort of injury. "Are you okay?" she asked when there were no blatant bruises.

"No!" he snapped. "No, I'm not okay! I'm so tired of that stupid question. If I was okay, I wouldn't be in this hospital room, would I? I'm tied down to this stupid bed, because I'm too weak to even walk—"

His words died off with his next, gasping breath. Minutes later, and he was still inhaling shallow breaths. Worry undermined any caution MC might have had. She hurried over and sat in front of him on the bed.

"Sorry! Gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-," she stopped, realizing her words were falling through the air in his state. She forced herself to stay calm as she turned her voice gentle. "Saeran…Take some deep breaths. It's okay…you'll be out of here soon."

She wasn't sure if her words were actually having any affect, but the little color he had attained in his cheeks was rapidly draining. She swallowed against her alarm and continued her attempts to soothe him.

"J-just breathe," she continued, cupping his face when his eyes froze in space for too long. It seemed like an eternity later when his eyes finally manage to focus on her.

His heavy panting quieted into longer, deeper breaths. He fell back against his pillow, rubbing his face with shaky hands. He shifted to the side, and he visibly steadied.

MC sighed in relief before following his gaze towards the open sky. He seemed to have a fascination with it. It was as if it transformed him into a completely different person. His hard eyes turned wide and wondering, and the defenses he put up crumbled when viewing the blue expanse. She wished she knew what was going on behind his head.

"Sorry," she repeated, looking down at her hands. "I didn't mean to irritate you. I know being stuck here is hard…I just wanted to make sure you hadn't hurt yourself further and…" her words drifted off. She huffed and ran a hand through her hair. "So…you like the sky, huh?"

He gave a small grunt, unfazed by the nonsequitur.

MC went on. "M-maybe, when you get out of here, all three of us…could go find a good view of the sky. I know there's some mountains outside of the city. In the daytime, you can see the entire city, but it's far enough away to see the stars at night. You might like it there."

When she turned back to him, he was already staring at her. His hand rested under his cheek as he observed her for a few brief moments.

"I hate you."

MC choked. "Sorry?"

"You sound so much like Sae--like he did," Saeran said. His tone exuded lifelessness, drained from any passionate fury he just held. "Positive and bright and—I hate it. People like you make people like me believe garbage like that is possible."

His words tugged at MC's heart, yanking it in every direction. Despite his bitterness, she could not begrudge him. He was never given opportunity to be happy. For someone to present the idea to him must've been cruel in his eyes…like dangling sweets out of reach from a child.

"It could be possible," MC said quietly.

His forehead crinkled as he mulled over her words. He unfolded his crossed arms and pushed himself into a sitting position. "How can you say that?"

"Easily," she shrugged. "It is possible. Not without struggle, but-"

"That's not what I mean," he said. He examined his own hands. His fingers traced the green lines where his veins protruded from his paper-white skin. "You know exactly what I've done, and you dare to give me hope like that."

Half of his sentence was lost in his strangled attempts to speak, but MC could still make it out. She could still pick up the strife and acrimony interwoven in each word.

"Saeran," she said. In a moment of courage, she placed her hand over his. He was cold to the touch, but even so, a steady heartbeat thrummed against her finger as it rested against his thin wrist. "I know life hasn't been kind to you, but…you're not beyond hope. If you truly want it, you can find something...somewhere that makes you happy."

He lifted his eyes to hers. It was the softest she had ever seen him. In that moment, he wasn't harsh and prickly…he was warm, alive…and hurting.

But then, he laughed. Bitterly. Resignedly. "How can someone as—as—normal as you possibly understand?"

"Then how about me?"

MC didn't turn to look at the source of the voice. She knew simply by the hardening of Saeran's countenance. Saeyoung's shoes squeaked against the hospital floor as he drew further into the room.

"How about me then?" he repeated. "I came from the same background as you. If you're not normal, then neither am I."

"What's your point?" Saeran growled, though his gaze remained fixed on MC.

Saeyoung sighed and placed the bags of food on the table. "I thought the same once, you know. That living was a nuisance for people who had never known happiness. That I could never find it on my own. But I was wrong after all."

Saeran withdrew his hand from MC's and retreated away from her. "Yeah? And how long is this 'happiness' going to last? What happens when she sees you for what you really are you? How you lie? How you act so bright and righteous when you're so filthy—"

"Saeran, stop it," MC interjected quietly.

He obeyed, though MC wondered if it were from exhaustion as he seemed to completely deflate against the mattress.

"It's fine," Saeyoung said with a dismissive wave, though it was obvious Saeran's words affected him. "Anyway, MC, we should leave. The therapist is coming soon, so Saeran needs to be alone with him for the next hour. We can eat together after then."

The younger twin let out a cry of disgust at the mention of the doctor. MC nodded and stood. "I'll see you later, Saeran. And…don't forget what I said. Please, try to think of a happy future for yourself."

His scowl dissipated as he watched her leave, and MC took it as a sign of hope that, at least, a small seed was planted.

She followed Saeyoung out of the hospital, where they could both be away from people for a little while. She watched as he immediately flopped onto the grass underneath a tree. He blew out his cheeks and stared up at the umbrella of leaves.

MC sat beside him, and it wasn't long until his head found its way onto her lap. For a long while, they sat in silence. The soft breeze ruffled his bangs, revealing the deep creases in his forehead. She ran her finger along them, causing him to look up and meet her gaze.

"What?" Saeyoung questioned when she didn't stop staring.

She clicked her tongue. "Nothing," she said. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I love you."

His cheeks colored, as it always did when she said those three words. "W-where's that coming from?"

MC smiled slightly. "Just thought you needed a reminder," she said. "And don't worry about Saeran…He'll turn around eventually. Stay strong, okay? No matter what he says."

Saeyoung fiddled with the cross at his neck. "I know… I just—MC, I have such a bad feeling," he said. "Like something bad is going to happen soon. Am I crazy?"

"Yes," she replied without hesitation, earning a glare from the red-head. "But, trust your feelings. They got you this far."

He hummed meditatively. "Even if they make me do something stupid?"

"What?" MC frowned.

"Er—nothing," he stammered, sitting up and curling his knees to his chest. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "Would you completely hate me if I ask you to wait for me here? I think…I need to grab something from home really quick. I'll be back within the hour!"

MC hesitated, unnerved by his sudden outbreak. But she knew he wouldn't hide anything detrimental from her. "I could never hate you, Saeyoung," she said with an overblown sigh. "Even if you tried to make me hate you—which you have—I couldn't. Go on, then. I'll be here when you get back."

He beamed at her before sneaking another kiss. "Oh, and—er—I love you too."

He jumped to his feet and rushed towards the parking lot, sending her a giddy grin over his shoulder. MC watched him go. She trusted him with all her might, but that didn't mean she didn't worry about him.

He once told her that everything he did never worked out. She could see that mindset intruding on happier moments…how he just seemed to drink it all in with an understood acceptance that it would disappear. Even now, he prepared for the worst- whatever he believed that was.

MC wished she could do something to eradicate it forever, but she knew only time could do that. Still…she wanted to secure his happiness as much as he tried to secure hers.

Speaking of which…she pulled out her phone and brought up her most recent text from that morning. The number wasn't saved and the text jumbled in code, but…she had a hunch as to who it was. She dialed it and pressed the phone to her ear. The receiver picked up, and the familiar gruff voice sent a smile to MC's lips.

"Hello, Vanderwood. Listen, about your offer…I need you to check something for me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran, my poor child...please get better soon. 
> 
> As you can see, I'm focusing more on Saeran's recovery rather than the secret end chapters themselves. While I might intermingle some important parts in, I hope to expand more about the in between times. :) Hope you guys like it all the same! Thank you as always for reading, and I always appreciate your feedback and lovely comments.They really make my day:) See you all next week~


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung makes a promise he intends to keep...no matter what it leads him to doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! I hope everyone had a good week, and if not...well, there's always this week, right? Anywho, here's another chapter for you. I hope you like it.

Saeyoung had hoped his bad feeling from earlier was just a result of lack of sleep. He had prayed it was paranoia from years of having life turn against him at the last possible moment. But of course, just when he almost dismissed his fears, a cry echoed from Saeran's room.

Then everything was chaos. The noise of nurses and doctors rushing in and out of the room along with the murmurs of those still waiting in the hall paralyzed him in his chair. His stomach sunk when someone called for security. A thousand possibilities ran through his mind, but the one that shook him the most was the chance that Saeran finally managed to harm himself.

Saeyoung snapped himself out of his stupor and pushed himself from his chair. He forced himself through the crowd.

"What's going on?" he said, in the midst of the rush. He immediately sought out Saeran, terrified to find him dangling from the window or bleeding out somewhere. But no…he was safe and sound on the bed, but looking far too pale. "Saeran, are you hurt?"

His brother stared at him for a moment, his eyes wide, before landing on the crowd of doctors and nurses once more. Saeyoung followed his gaze, only now seeing the broken game system on the ground, sparks flying from one end, and the therapist holding her head as blood seeped through her fingers.

Saeyoung's sanity was in peril of collapsing. He didn't understand. Saeran was doing so well. He brought a hand to his now spinning head as the nurses led the injured therapist out of the room. "Saeran…" he began. "What happened?"

One of the nurses cut in with a huff. "He suddenly got angry and threw something at the therapist," she replied. "I'm sorry to say this, Mr. Choi, especially considering he seemed to be getting better, but the patient needs treatment."

Saeyoung wasn't sure if it was shock or simply his tiredness that helped him remain calm in that moment. Especially after he had refused them over a hundred times. "I'm sorry, but I don't want to force any drugs on him, miss. Please, if you give me a moment alone, I'll deal with my brother."

She didn't seem happy. "We'll call security in case—"

"No need," Saeyoung said forcing a smile. She wasn't convinced, but she nodded nonetheless and left them. He wouldn't be surprised if he still found security outside the door when he left.

When the door shut, the noise from the hallways flattened into silence. There was nothing but the sound of Saeran's heavy, erratic breathing. Saeyoung picked up the game device from the ground, disconnecting a few wires to stop the flow of electricity. He mentally cursed himself for dropping his guard and leaving it on the bedside. No…he shouldn't have brought it from home yesterday in the first place. He thought it might be a good break for Saeran. How wrong he was…

He threw the device onto a chair and turned back to his brother. Saeran was visibly shaking. He gaped at his hands, clenching and unclenching them at intervals. Saeyoung took a few steps forward, though he kept some distance, not wanting to trigger his brother any further.

"God…what did I do?" Saeran mumbled seemingly to himself. His voice grew tight, and he was barely taking any breaths.

"It's just us now, Saeran," Saeyoung said, hoping his soft voice wasn't drowned out by the discord outside. "Breathe…"

The younger boy inhaled sharply, but deeply. He let out a small whimper while hugging himself. His fingers dug into his arms, leaving marks as he ran his nails down his skin. Without thinking, Saeyoung swatted his hands away.

"Don't do that!" he frowned. His words didn't register in the younger twin's head as he once again brought his nails against his already reddened skin. Saeyoung grabbed his wrists and pulled them down to the bed. "Stop! Saeran, please…Are you in pain? What's wrong?"

"Don't touch me!" Saeran shoved him off, causing him to stumble back a few paces.

Saeyoung sighed and inched closer still. "Are you okay?"

Mint eyes snapped to his gold ones. His brows furrowed in annoyance. "Are you stupid? I just hurt someone. Why are you still here? I could do that to you too! I want to!"

Saeyoung knew that. He knew that from day one when he decided to care for Saeran. But his brother's words weren't filled with unbridled hatred today…No, he could recognize the guilt behind that scowl. He wasn't sure which one hurt more. "You didn't answer my question."

Saeran shuddered and rested his head in his hands. "I'm going to be sick."

Saeyoung snatched a bucket from nearby and handed it to his brother just in time. He winced as Saeran retched the little food he had eaten earlier that day. He reached out a hesitant hand on his back, rubbing small circles as the younger twin continued to convulse with sickness.

Saeyoung dug into his pocket and retrieved a mint. When Saeran finally stopped heaving, he placed the small candy on the bedside before setting the bucket in the bathroom. "Do you want water? Or maybe—"

"Shut up," Saeran said weakly. His fingers fumbled around the wrapper before he popped the mint into his mouth. He buried his face in his hands falling into silence. Saeyoung lowered himself into a chair, though his eyes never left his brother.

His fingers tapped against the side of his leg as he watched him. Worry knotted in his gut as the situation settled into his head. He didn't want to think about the consequences of what just happened. Saeran had outbursts before, but…he hadn't harmed anyone. This was bad…really bad.

The doctors said he had a mild mental disorder, but with an incident like this, would they force treatment?

He jumped when Saeran suddenly looked up at him. The white-hair boy seized the end of his blanket as he took in Saeyoung. "You're still here?"

"Why would I leave?" the red head asked.

Saeran gritted his teeth and began to speak, but the unfinished syllables slipped into thin air. His shoulders fell, and his features morphed from angry to placid. Saeyoung had gotten accustomed to this in the past few days. His brother had a tendency to grow aggressive only to become completely surrendered the next moment.

"Why would you leave…" Saeran echoed. He stared emptily at the back wall. "I'm starting to think you're the insane one."

Saeyoung forced a laugh to dispel the gloomy atmosphere. It didn't work. "Why do you say that?"

"You keep coming back," Saeran replied simply. "Give up already. It doesn't change the fact that you left years ago, and I'm not going to change for you."

Saeyoung chewed on the inside of his cheek. He wiped his clammy hands against his jeans. "I don't need you to change for me," he said slowly. He licked his lips, his gaze darting up to Saeran. "I just want you to get better."

"For what?" Saeran replied. His nose scrunched in disgust. "So, we can regain our lost time together? So, we can do all those things you said we were going to do when we were younger?"

"If you want," Saeyoung said, though his answer came out weak even to himself. They both knew bringing any of their childhood daydreams to fruition would be far off in the future in Saeran's condition—if they were even possible. But still…Saeyoung wanted to give him something to look forward to.

Saeran blew out sharply. He shook his head and pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "I don't want that," he said with some effort. "I've given up on that, even if you haven't. Take your stupid fantasies and just leave me. You're good at that."

The words whipped against Saeyoung's conscience, but his tongue reacted on its own, producing a single word.

"No."

He paused after it flew out of his mouth, shocked by his own boldness. He was almost about to apologize, but his emotions gripped him to the point where his heart ached. He clutched his shirt at the sudden discomfort.

The pain of seeing what his brother had become…how he escaped from a place of torture only to be sent to one with far worse horrors…how he had become so broken and full of disbelief in anything joyful in this world…how it was due to Saeyoung's decision…it had been piling inside of him all this time, and now came trickling out of his mouth uncontrollably.

"I'm not giving up. Not on you or our future," Saeyoung went on. "And I'm not lying. We don't have to do what we said as kids. We don't have to…to make a lot of money and live in a huge house by the sea. I don't care where we live or how much we make. I don't care if it takes years for you to recover-I just want you to be happy. I don't care what it costs me, I promise you I'll give it to you. Okay? I promise."

He was breathless by the time he was done. A lump formed in his throat, but he suppressed it, desperately trying to get a grip of himself. He fixed his gaze on the white-haired boy, not wavering even when Saeran scoffed in dismissal.

"You can say what you want," Saeran said. "I told you I'm not changing."

Saeyoung would be lying to himself if he said that rejection after rejection wasn't disheartening. He would be lying if he said he hadn't sat on his bed the past few nights with Saeran's words echoing in his head, creating scenarios where Saeyoung would once more be left alone in this world without his other half.

But…after everything…he was sure that kind of reality would suck the life out of him, and everyone who associated with him, until he was welcoming death.

He expected determination to surge through him at the thought. Instead it subtly weaved through his veins, giving him the strength to remember that they still had a long future ahead of them. They had time. With every breath, he was sure he could bring it about some way or another.

"You don't have to believe me," he said finally. "I'll show you. I'll keep this promise."

Saeran shifted in the bed, shimmying himself to the opposite corner. He turned his face away from Saeyoung, choosing instead to tug on the loose string of his sheets. "It won't matter. I'm sure I won't be here long anyway," he said. A strain of unease leaked through his voice as he glanced at the door. "I'm sure they're going to kick me out. Then I'll never have to see your face again."

Saeyoung stood abruptly. Despite Saeran's constant pessimism, he didn't doubt his brother's words after what just happened. Sure enough, a group of doctors were speaking together, occasionally sending skeptical looks at the door. They hadn't entered the room or called for him yet, so nothing was decided…he hoped.

He turned to check on Saeran, not wanting to leave him alone while he was still so unstable. The younger twin appeared calm for now, but Saeyoung could see how he was rubbing circles on the side of his head…something he also did in light of an oncoming headache.

"I'll send a nurse to get you some painkillers," he said shortly, ignoring the disgruntled glare his brother shot him. He exited the room and made his way over to the desk near the huddled doctors. They quieted as he grew closer, however, and dispersed before he could even reach them. Shoving down his frustration, Saeyoung made the request to the nurse at the desk. When she left, he leaned against the counter and buried his face in his hands. His glasses got stuck against the curls of his hair.

"Saeyoung?" MC's breathless voice reached his ears. He dropped his hands and turned his head towards her voice. She stood by his side, her eyes following the stance of his body. Her hair was tousled, and her cheeks were red with exertion. Did she run here? "Y-you're okay?"

He furrowed his brows. "Of course I'm okay. Why—"

She wiped her forehead with her wrist and let out a sigh of relief. "Jumin called me and said Saeran attacked someone, and I thought—"

She shut her mouth abruptly, but she didn't have to finish her sentence for Saeyoung to complete the thought. "Did you think he hurt me?"

She flushed a deeper, in embarrassment or shame, he wasn't sure. "I just…Jumin was vague."

He supposed her worry was justified considering the threats spouting from his brother's mouth most of the time. But for some reason, the comment bristled his agitation. "He attacked his therapist. It was partially my fault, really," he explained, though he quickly moved on, seeing an ever-ready protest dangling on her lips. "What else did Jumin say?"

MC leaned against the counter and ran a hand through her hair. "I think he wanted me to convince you to sign the form for the drug treatment," she replied.

He eyed her carefully. "And?"

She parted her lips, though nothing followed for a long time. She shifted from one foot to the other. "I don't think drugging him is the best answer. But I think you would know best."

He wasn't sure why her answer relieved him. Perhaps, he was beginning to doubt his own decision for his brother. After all, he had no one to take care of but himself for nearly eight years… and Saeran had changed a lot since their childhood. Saeyoung shook his head. "No, I'm not drugging him."

MC nodded. "I told Jumin you would say that," she said. "But, Saeyoung…"

He lifted his gaze to her, his heart plummeting at the pursing of her lips. Whatever she was going to tell him…he really wasn't going to like it. "What did he say, MC?" he demanded when she kept silent for nearly a minute.

Even so, she delayed her answer, finding great interest in suddenly dusting off his jacket from an invisible substance. He took her wrists, calling her attention to him once more. He said nothing, but fixed his eyes on her intently until she broke.

"If you don't give him the treatment, they're transferring him to the psychiatric ward," she said in a small voice.

"They're what?" he said, his voice taut. A bitter laugh rumbled from his throat. "No. No, they can't do that. If they do that, he'll only be locked up and forced to take medicines anyway. What's the difference—"

"Saeyoung," MC said sharply, glancing at the small group of people turning to his disruption.

He massaged his temples as a dull throb developed. This wasn't happening. After everything he just said about making sure Saeran recovered and lived a happy life, he couldn't just let them be separated again. He knew the psychiatric ward had a strict schedule. Saeyoung would barely see him, and if he did, who knew in what kind of condition Saeran would be.

"I'm not letting them do that," he said resolutely. He was grateful for Jumin's aid…truly. But Saeran wasn't improving here…and he was sure drugging him wasn't right either.

"Then…what are you going to do?" MC asked.

Saeyoung bit down on his bottom lip. Did he even know? Well…he had an idea or two, but he was sure it was insane. Although…he might not have a choice. It was either that or let his brother be taken away. Then he really would have no chance to fix anything.

MC's features hardened, and she yanked at his jacket to pull him out of his thoughts. "I don't like that look. Why are you giving that look?"

"Huh?" he said, his brain still shuffling through different possibilities. "Oh…er, nothing you need to worry about yet."

"Yet?"

He cringed and cleared his throat. He looked down at the girl in front of him, watching as her distress transformed into that strong-willed glower. His brain wasn't the only one working. He flicked her forehead. "And I don't like that look either. What are you thinking?"

She huffed, sending her bangs into the air. "You'll let me help, right?"

He rested his hands against her cheeks and chuckled despite himself. "You are helping just by being here."

He wasn't sweet-talking. Her support was the only thing that kept him grounded all this time. Not just with Saeran…but with Mint Eye and Rika and V. It was a miracle that he was standing there with his high spirits mostly intact.

Her cold fingertips rested against his wrists, and he sobered at her earnest expression. "I'm serious, Saeyoung," she said quietly. "Keep me in the loop, okay?"

He hummed and brushed a thumb against the cut lining her cheek. It was healing, just like her sprain and the bruises on her wrists, but they still served to haunt him of the hardships he put her through—purposely or not. They happened, and he couldn't change it.

And yet…she was still there. She was still willing to jump in head first into whatever trouble followed him. But just because she was willing didn't mean he was going to let her. Not every time.

"Trust me," he said.

"I do," she replied. "But please don't do anything too crazy?"

"Don't worry."

A pang of guilt gnawed at his chest at his conscious evasion of her questions. It grew worse when she took the bait, nodding and pressing her lips to his palm.

But he knew that whatever happened in the next few days, he would make sure it was the step to bringing them all together. MC…Saeran…himself…

The misfortunes of life would no longer keep them from happiness. By some grand design, they were thrown together at this point in time, and Saeyoung wasn't going to allow any of them to be torn apart ever again.

Now, all he had to do with find some of his old disguises…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh~ Boi, don't do it... 
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed reading this week's chapter. Thank you, as always! And--as always--I love to hear from you all, and I'm always grateful for everyone's comments and feedback:) Hope you get lots of rest and eat three meals a day~ See you next week!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung has 'splainin to do...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope everyone's had a wonderful week. Hope you enjoy this chapter~

Never in a hundred years did MC think she would be turning to Saeyoung's "maid" after her boyfriend decided to disappear for ten hours with nothing more than a single text. And yet here she was in Vanderwood's passenger seat on the way to the hacker's mostly underground home.

She would have turned to Jumin or maybe Zen, but…considering Saeran had also coincidentally disappeared around the same time Saeyoung did, she wasn't sure involving the RFA was the best idea yet. Thankfully, Vanderwood was available and willing to drive her to him at the expense of a small favor—one which he said he would collect later, apparently.

Still, more than happy to pay any price to make sure Saeyoung was actually okay, MC agreed. Her fingers drummed against the arm of the seat while she intermittently glanced down at Saeyoung's text from hours ago.

"Home. Safe," was all it read. It should've been enough to ease her mind. He had at least told her his location…but MC was still anxious knowing Saeyoung's tendency to downplay any of his heroics. After all, it had been a few hours since the text…and most likely, Saeran was with him.

MC felt slightly guilty at the scenarios running through her mind, but…how could she not? Saeran may have had kindness buried inside him somewhere, but…he was still volatile and mentally unstable at the moment. She was pretty sure that wasn't a good mix with his hatred towards the older twin.

The thought once again led her fingers to dialing Saeyoung's number for what must have been the thirtieth time that day. She put the phone to her ear, each ring sending waves of annoyance down her skin. She held her breath, pressing a hand over her heart, hammering against her chest. She shut her eyes, praying this would be the one time he would pick up, but…

"Agent 707 is doing what his boss told him—"

"Ugh! He needs a new answering machine!" she cried before stuffing her phone under her leg and throwing herself back onto the seat.

Vanderwood peered sideways out of the corner of his eye. His lips twitched downwards at her outburst, but he didn't comment on it. Instead, he reached into the backseat with a sigh and pulled out a manila envelope. "Here," he said, tossing it on her lap.

The rough folder under her fingers only made the knots in her stomach twist further. She swallowed against her dry throat and pulled out the papers inside. Using the light of her phone, she scanned the contents. Various color-coded webs covered the page, hooking onto symbols MC didn't' recognize. They connected in some places, broke off in others. "What is this?" she finally asked.

"You asked me to check some things, no?" Vanderwood replied.

"Oh," MC breathed before she continued plowing through the pile. Just like the first page, she couldn't decipher any of the odd characters. But just the fact that he found something…it couldn't be good, right?

Her concentration was broken by the crunch of Vanderwood's gloves as he gripped the steering wheel tighter. "You were right," he muttered. "The agency was tied to the government in some areas. They were well-hidden and way too deep for anyone to find out until now, after disbandment."

"But they were there," MC emphasized. The papers slid back into the envelope with a hiss. "So…there's a chance—"

"A very small chance, but yes," Vanderwood interrupted. He turned the car sharply into what MC had would have dismissed to be to be a hill. But in fact, it was a drive way sectioned off by two slanted slabs of concrete wall. He parked the car but remained in his seat. "I think you should tell him."

"Yeah," MC bit the inside of her cheek, turning the folder in her hands. She was planning on informing Saeyoung about the favor, but she had hoped there was nothing to report. "Me too."

Abruptly, Vanderwood hopped out of the car, his figure melding into the shadows of the walkway. MC scrambled after him. Darkness enveloped everything around them, and the walls extinguished even the light of the moon. It wasn't until her eyes adjusted did she catch up to the ex-hacker in front of a large, metal door. He held his phone to his ear, only to swear and shove it back into his pocket.

Saeyoung wasn't taking his calls…again…

"Two unrecognized guests," a robotic voice croaked. "Please say '707 is the most amazing and handsome on the planet' in Arabic to safely enter."

MC hummed amusedly at the tiny camera poking out the top. "This is the infamous gate, huh?"

Vanderwood grunted in affirmation, searching through what seemed to be a small book. MC took the opportunity to observe the area, though there wasn't much to see. Grey walls… grey gravel crunching underneath her shoes…a grey metal wall. Everything was so bleak. It was hard to imagine that Saeyoung, with his usually bright personality, lived in such a place.

She returned her attention to the door when Vanderwood let out a string of decently pronounced phrases.

"Bingo!" chimed the robot that sounded uncannily like Saeyoung.

The gate hissed before sliding open, revealing a dimly lit hallway. Vanderwood charged forward, calling behind him, "Mind the stairs."

"Uh, shouldn't you at least notify him?" MC suggested as she took her first step. But Vanderwood was already too far ahead. With a sigh, she pressed her hands on either side of the wall and continued her descent, hoping that Saeyoung at least received her text from earlier mentioning that she was coming…and also that she might kill him on sight for being the source of her tightly wound nerves.

"Vanderwood, what the hell?"

She winced at Saeyoung's booming voice bouncing off the walls. Guess he didn't get that text.

"Same to you!" Vanderwood shot back from the bottom of the stairs. "Why do you have a gun?"

"Because you broke into my house!"

"Because you wouldn't pick up your phone!"

The lights switched on allowing MC to jet down the stairs. She hardly had time to process the brilliant red walls that starkly contrasted the house's bland exterior. Vanderwood had seized the collar of and dangled him off the ground. The man could have been his younger brother with his shoulder length brown hair. Only he was wearing nurse's scrubs, and his frame was thinner and sinewy.

"Why are you dressed like this?" Vanderwood barked, shaking the man roughly. "What did I tell you after the agency info leaked? Stay low! What do you do? Break a sick patient out of a hospital! That is not staying hidden, Luciel!"

The realization hit MC harder than the door that slammed shut onto her back.

"Saeyoung?" she spluttered. He turned his head with some difficulty.

He looked nothing like his usual self. Blue eyes instead of gold…brown hair instead of flaming red…and his face was a strange shade of brownish-orange. But there was no mistaking the justified shame that shone in his eyes upon seeing her.

"MC?" he choked. His hands grappled with Vanderwood's until he managed to get some space between his throat and shirt. He took in a deep breath before speaking. "Wh-what are you doing here? I told you I was fine."

"Yeah, and you told me you were fine when you were bleeding from your arm," she retorted. After seeing he was unharmed, the worry situated inside of her all day simmered to the surface in the form of frustration. "Where's Saeran? Please tell me you did not break him out of a hospital to bring him here."

"Fine. I didn't break him out of a hospital to bring him here," he replied evenly.

Vanderwood jolted Saeyoung before MC could. "This is not the time to joke around!"

Saeyoung somehow wrangled himself out of the older man's hold, dropping to his feet with a soft thud. He turned to MC and raised his arms in surrender. "Yes, I brought him here. He's in the other room, still unconscious."

MC rubbed her temples, trying to grasp the entirety of the situation. "Unconscious? Why is he unconscious?"

"He wouldn't come willingly," Saeyoung replied, yanking on the collar of his shirt. "I had the sedatives from a few days ago, before he attacked the therapist…just in case something like that happened."

So that's why he went home after his "bad feeling" a few days before. The gaming device was just a cover up. This idea had been in his mind for awhile, hadn't it? MC let out a short breath. "Saeyoung, he needs help!"

"And I'll give it to him!" he returned. "It's more than the hospital would have done. I had no choice."

She couldn't argue with him there. She ran a hand through her hair. "Fine, but there was no reason for you to do it behind everyone's back. You could have said something-at least to me!"

"I know that," Saeyoung said, his tone still dismissive and biting. "I just—"

He shook his head and pivoted on his heel. He pushed past Vanderwood, muttering something about changing before nearly disappearing into a nearby hall. MC pressed her lips in a fine line as she stared at the soft light protruding from what she assumed was a bathroom.

"Wait here," she told Vanderwood as she clambered over the mess of doctor's coats and fake medical accessories. She followed the yellow glow until she came to the doorway. Saeyoung leaned over the sink, his wig tossed to the side and his contacts placed in a small case. He had abandoned his top, and his cross necklace hung loosely against his tank top.

He glanced sideways at her before drawing close to the running faucet. He resumed his taciturn attitude. If it weren't for those days in Rika's apartment, MC would have surrendered to her irritability. She would have scolded him within an inch of his life. But she had grown very familiar with his behavior…and she recognized this one all too well.

She crossed her arms and rested her shoulder against the wall. "Talk," she said, unable to keep the terseness from her words. "What's wrong?"

He stubbornly curled his lips inwards before splashing his face with water. The odd skin tone melted away to his natural one. He shut off the tap and patted his face with a towel. "What's there to talk about? I told you what happened."

MC scoffed. "And that's why you hadn't been answering your calls all day?"

"Wasn't near my phone. I was trying to make sure that the CCTV feeds were looped before the security looked too deeply," he said, tossing the cloth into the corner of the room.

"You were hacking?" MC breathed. It wasn't the fact that he had momentarily slipped back into his old profession. The problem was his arm that was still recovering. He shouldn't have been typing for that long…not to mention the other physical work involved in getting Saeran out of the hospital and into the bunker.

Her eyes drifted down towards his wound. The bandages dug into the swollen skin. Consciously, he hid it behind his back before bringing a hand to his hair.

The glimpse of his arm was enough to drain MC's temper. Any adrenaline she held trickled through her entire body and exited, leaving her more concerned than angry.

She hooked her hand around his elbow and tugged his arm towards her. He resisted at first, stumbling forward instead of showing her the damage. But a sharp glare on her part dissipated his willpower easily enough. He slid his arm out and allowed her to hold it in her palms. She ran her fingers down the side, freeing the cloth's hold, before unwinding it.

It came free and cascaded to the floor. MC winced at the white and purple splotches from the healing skin. Thin lines were still etched across his arm from the mending stitches. No doubt, they were more noticeable from strain. His arm suddenly trembled against her fingertips. "Does it hurt that bad?" she asked, head snapping up to look at him.

His teeth wore down on his bottom lip, and his eyes couldn't stay in any one place. They darted about the room, but never landing on her. "Saeyoung?" she prodded.

"I'm sorry," the words came tumbling from his mouth. "I didn't want to you worry, that's why I just-" his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly. MC started when he snatched his arm away before stepping past her into the hallway. He didn't go far. He slid to the ground beside the door, curling his knees to his chest.

She licked her dry lips before lowering herself next to him. She flinched when he pushed himself away from her, still fixing his gaze on the ground.

"Saeyoung," she began.

"I couldn't let them take him," he choked. "I tried. I really did. I tried convincing myself that maybe letting him be locked up—away from me—might be the best for him. I was just thinking the worst, and he would be better in no time. But…"

"But?" she prompted.

The thick silence that fell between them threatened to suffocate her. Trepidation rolled off of him in waves, but she couldn't decipher its source. And he was remaining as quiet as ever.

She hated when he was like this. He'd been trying to get better, she knew. But Saeyoung still tended to bottle up his emotions, always concentrating on others, never realizing his internal battles affected them as well.

With a sharp huff, MC adjusted herself to kneel in front of him. She cupped his face and guided his head towards her. "Snap out of it," she said. Her own severity stabbed at her heart when remorse pooled in his wide eyes, but she forced her heavy tongue to keep moving. "I'm not letting you do this, Saeyoung. I'm not letting you shut everyone out again. We're in this together, remember?"

His jaw trembled in her hands. His mouth parted, and for a few seconds, the heat of his shaky breaths fanned across her hand. "I know," he said. His words came out broken and barely above a whisper. "I just—I didn't know what else to do, and I panicked. I was scared, MC. I am scared."

She shook her head, trying to connect his scattered thoughts. "Scared of what?"

He pushed her back by her shoulders until she sat on the ground, his own legs encasing her. He took both of her hands in his own, and finally his eyes met hers. Without his glasses, MC could see every detail of them, such as the flecks of gold in his irises, mixing with the warm color of honey. But, there were also the tiny red lines webbing the whites of his eyes, emphasizing the exhaustion he tried so hard to hide. And worst of all, behind the physical…behind the beauty of that piercing gaze lay haunting scars from years of loneliness, guilt, and pain.

"I'm terrified," he breathed. His chest caved in with another heavy sigh. "That one day everything will just go into flames one day. Saeran, you, my life. I don't want that to happen."

Her hands gripped his, sharpening his focus on her. "It's not going to happen—"

"But what if it does?" he argued. "I can't let that happen, so I'm going to do everything I can to prevent it."

"But you don't have to do it alone!" MC burst. "I'm here, no matter what, so stop with the hiding. We support each other. Got it?"

Saeyoung looked away, mulling over her words. He protruded his bottom lip slightly, prompting a chuckle from her. "Even when it means disguising myself as a nurse to break my brother out of a hospital?"

"Especially then," she said, freeing one hand to prod his side. He yelped in response, a reluctant smile unfurling the tension from his features. "But you didn't answer my other question. Why didn't you tell me, Saeyoung? We promised no secrets."

He hummed softly as his thumbs ran across the purplish bruises on her wrists. "Because of this," he replied. "I don't want to pull you into my problems any more than you are. Sneaking someone out of a hospital…it's normal enough for me, but for someone like you—I want something steadier."

The fact that her heart was swelling with affection at his words made MC question her own sanity. She should've been furious. They had been over this time and time again, and yet every time she melted. Saeyoung was her weakness, and she wasn't sure she would ever be able to mend that.

She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his nose, successfully snatching his attention away from her discolored contusions. "You're way too deep here," she said, bringing his hand to rest over her heart. "I've been with you during a bomb scare. I've spent a whole day with you in a prison after getting captured by a cult. And I would do it all over again if it meant staying with you."

He bumped his forehead against hers. His lashes fluttered against her cheek, sending tiny shivers down her neck. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"Just don't do it again," she muttered. "I'm serious."

"Okay," he said with a half-smile. "If I break my word, you'd better leave me."

"Probably," she replied. "But it would break my heart."

"Hmm," he rubbed his thumb against her palm. "Then I'll have to make sure I never do that to you."

For a few long minutes, they remained still, taking comfort in the feeling of skin against skin and the warmth that accompanied it. Despite any storm they weathered or would weather soon enough…they would be okay.

"MC," Saeyoung began, his eyes cracking open to stare down at her. "This isn't me pushing you away, I promise. But, until Saeran is stable…you should keep your distance."

MC closed her eyes and leaned against him for support. She knew this was coming ever since she heard about the incident with the therapist. She didn't like the idea that Saeyoung would be with Saeran alone, but…she had to have faith in him too. He could handle his own brother—he needed to for things to work out in the end. "So, I can't see you?"

She could feel his hesitance in the way he tilted his head, closing the distance between them even more. "I don't think I can handle that for long," he said with a soft chuckle. "The gaps in between might be longer, but I'll make sure we see each other somehow, okay?"

Before she could answer, his lips grazed the edge of her cheekbone in a feathery kiss that made her insides clench. He trailed his mouth down to hers where he captured it tenderly, eliciting a contented sigh from her throat.

The noise drifting from the other room reminded her of Vanderwood's presence in the house. Though it did nothing to dissuade Saeyoung, his fingers hovering against her waist and ever-ready to close whatever space was left between them.

Begrudgingly, she pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him back. "Saeyoung, there's something else I need to tell you."

His brows quirked inquisitively. "I thought we just said no secrets."

"It's not really," she said, despite her conscience saying otherwise. "I asked Vanderwood to look into some things…concerning your agency and-"

His entire body tensed, and a shadow darkened his features. "MC…" he admonished.

"I just asked him to double check some things," she said hurriedly. "If you don't want him to push further, fine. But…I think it's better that we make sure your past is completely behind you. Right?"

"But I don't like you having anything to do with that place. You're too trusting, MC," he said brusquely.

"I'm sorry." She couldn't deny that her faith in people was both a strength and a weakness—one that led her here.

Saeyoung sighed in resignation. "Is that how you connected with Vanderwood?"

She nodded in admission. Her finger shot to his lips before he could disapprove further. "Just listen to what he's found. Despite what either of you claim, you're still friends, and he still worries about you."

He grumbled, only confirming what she said was true. He extended his wrist to check his watch before pulling her hand down. "One hour," he said. "Then you really need to go. Saeran will wake up soon, and…who knows what state he'll be in. And, MC…I know you're strong, but please be careful."

She detangled herself from his arms before his gentle reproval struck her deeper. She stood to her feet, and he followed suit with some difficulty.

"I promise," MC said, heat trickling into her cheeks at her own hypocrisy. His eyes searched hers for awhile, and her embarrassment increased for a different reason until she pushed his face away. "A-and, go find your glasses!"

He looked way too handsome without their quirkiness to balance him.

He nodded and returned to the bathroom while she joined Vanderwood. She saw that the man had reasserted his former position in the house, since the room was significantly cleaner than when she left.

"Finally," he said when she flopped onto one of the chairs. "Did you talk some sense into him?"

She only smiled. "I told him."

His frantic movements halted before he continued cleaning in a casual manner. "Good. Though I doubt he'll accept my help."

Saeyoung's dramatic sigh carried from the hallway. He joined MC on the small chair before looking up at the older man. "Always so assuming, Miss Vanderwood. I like to think I'm unpredictable."

He let out a wry chuckle just as Saeyoung grew more solemn.

The red head pushed his bangs out of his eyes and leaned back into the chair. "So, what have you two been conspiring about?"

Vanderwood shot MC one last hesitant glance before turning back to Saeyoung. "I think your father may be tracing you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the one time Saeyoung doesn't disguise himself as a woman, he looks like Vanderwood. Wooop! Hope you enjoyed this chapter:) As always, love to hear from everyone and get your thoughts~ Have a good week, and Happy 4th of July to all American readers! Enjoy the fireworks:)


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung learns to trust others for a change...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you all are doing well. Here's another chapter:) I hope you enjoy it!

Saeyoung had expected Vanderwood's words to conjure an immediate emotion for a few reasons. Firstly, how the ex-agent even knew about his parentage was disquieting, but he supposed Vanderwood would figure it out one way or another; he could forgive it for now. Secondly, his father…the prime minister of the country…was tracing him again after nearly seven years of silence.

Saeyoung waited for anger, frustration, or even anguish. Instead, a numbness clawed out from his chest to his limbs, settling in like an old friend.

It didn't even surprise him.

After years of this—the reality of things not panning out—he was accustomed to it. When things were just starting to look like they were getting better, it all got ten times worse. First, Saeran improving, only to turn violent in a relapse…now his father was looking for them. Throw the agency coming back for revenge, and it would all come full circle.

He had to give it to himself. Despite being absolutely terrified of losing everything he had gained the past few weeks, he remained composed. His hands were completely still, until his mind began to explore the implications. With the silence that followed, it was allowed to run rampant with horrible scenarios until he was left a tangled mess.

He looked down at MC who was clutching his arm. Uncertainty wavered in her eyes. She was probably expecting an outburst, considering he had very nearly given her one earlier.

Saeyoung ran his fingers through his hair. The ends were still damp from washing his face, allowing cold air to stick to his forehead. He welcomed it and the alertness it ushered as he tried to piece together everything in his head.

"So now what?" he said, breaking the stillness. His throat was dry and his voice hoarse. "W-we stay locked in here? Do we have to move to the States? Do we fight back, if that's even possible to do without—"

Vanderwood held up his hand. "Don't do anything rash. Just let me explain the situation."

"You don't need to explain the situation," Saeyoung bit out. "I've been dealing with it since I was a child."

MC rested a hand on his shoulder, lowering him back against the chair. "Saeyoung, just listen. Please."

He drew ragged breaths, and the stress and anxiety from the entire day pooled into a dull throb at the back of his neck. He whipped off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. For a few seconds, he focused on the comforting pressure of MC's fingers and nothing else.

Vanderwood waited until Saeyoung lifted his head before proceeding. "As you know, the intelligence agency was broader than even higher-level agents like us could possibly imagine. Some branches dabbled in government work, doing their dirty business on occasion."

Saeyoung had always suspected that. But considering the agency's strict policy when it came to identities, he never worried about his father. "So, let me guess. Those branches disbanded, and now the politicians are after whoever holds their secrets?"

"Something like that," Vanderwood said. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll be blunt. When Saeran leaked information from the agency a few weeks back…well, a lot of info was compromised. It seems like your father—or more likely those under him—got a hold of some of that info and were alerted of your existence. I…don't know how yet, but I know they did."

He pulled out a manila folder from a bag on the ground and handed it to Saeyoung. The red head replaced his glasses before retrieving the papers inside. He clenched his jaw at the full outline of materials the agency held concerning sensitive, political information. This data…it wasn't found easily. Vanderwood had to have made a few risks to get it.

Saeyoung flipped through the other pages. For the most part, it was as he expected… logs of missions to cover up a politician's misspent money, a field job to erase suspicious information, and even the occasional death threats. Of course, the prime minister would want these to be swept under the rug. What Saeyoung wasn't expecting was the list of numbers at the bottom.

He knew the meaning of those numbers well. When a new member joined the agency, they were stripped of their real name and instead given a codename and a set of ten numbers. His set of ten was written on the bottom of the page along with a few other agents.

"So, he found out I was in the agency," Saeyoung breathed.

Vanderwood licked his lips before lowering himself onto another couch. "I would like to say he didn't, but it's not a coincidence your number was on there."

Of course…two illegitimate sons, no matter what age, would also be nice to sweep under a rug.

"But you said it was only a small chance that any of this will blow up, right?" MC interjected. She curled her fingers into the fabric of his shirt, pulling his attention to her. He was glad to see that bright resolve return to her eyes after weeks of it being dimmed. "It's only been a few weeks since the info was leaked. You have a head start."

"She's right," Vanderwood said, his gaze fixed intently on Saeyoung. They both looked at him the same way…like a bomb on the verge of exploding. They weren't wrong. "They have a trace, but nothing solid. Besides, it'll take time for them to look through those other agents as well. We can work faster than they can."

"Small chance or not, I don't hear anybody saying how I need to fix this," Saeyoung said. That dull throb was beginning to spread like a ring around his forehead, squeezing it and making his thoughts even more despairing than before.

Vanderwood exhaled sharply. He opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated upon seeing MC. He pursed his lips, and shifted his eyes to Saeyoung's wound.

"You really should keep that wrapped up," he said abruptly. "MC, can you get some bandages and disinfectant. It should be in one of the two bathrooms—the other one is down the stairs to the left."

Her fingers tightened around Saeyoung, pulling him a little closer to herself. She was clever…she knew what Vanderwood was doing, and so did he. Whatever the ex-agent wanted to say in secret, Saeyoung probably wasn't going to like it. Either way, he patted MC's hand reassuringly. There were some things she shouldn't hear…for her own safety.

Casting him a cautionary glance, she nodded and went to find the medical supplies. Saeyoung waited until she disappeared from sight before letting himself crumble. He buried his face in his hands and squeezed his eyes shut. "Why now?" he muttered against his palms.

"What?"

His emotions finally combusted inside of him, overflowing out of his mouth in a string of curses. "I thought this was behind us!" Saeyoung burst. "The agency is gone, so why is their filthy work following me?"

"Luciel, calm down," Vanderwood said. His insouciant attitude was seriously beginning to grate on Saeyoung's frayed nerves. Still, he found himself following orders when the older man gestured for him to sit back.

"Calm down?" Saeyoung snorted. "Vanderwood, everything I did—leaving the agency, getting you out of there, withstanding a freaking cult—I did it because I wanted a steady life! I need to help Saeran recover. I need to start—to start a base so MC and I can finally live life together without all this crap of hacking and—"

"I already started."

Saeyoung's frantic thoughts halted. He stared wide-eyed and slack-jawed at his ex-supervisor. "What?"

"I already started," Vanderwood repeated. "I found the initial trace the prime minister has on you. If you want, I'll follow it to the rest and blow them out of the system for good. Choi Saeyoung will disappear into the dozens of others with the same name. You'll be able to live your life freely."

Saeyoung spluttered for words, but they seemed to have a difficulty traveling from his brain to his tangled tongue. "But—but—you can't! That's dangerous. You'll have to hack into government servers. It's—"

"Just as bad as hacking into the national registry to change someone's legal identity," Vanderwood finished, casting the younger man a pointed look. It was effective in silencing Saeyoung's protests. That and the foreign expression overtaking the man's face was unsettling. It was kind…almost caring. "Let your friends help you for once."

A strained chuckle huffed from Saeyoung's chest. "Are we friends now, Vanderwood?"

The man didn't reply, but the small smirk on his lips was all too telling of his true feelings. Perhaps even strict, crabby Vanderwood had a heart somewhere deep down under those reserved agent masks.

"So, do you accept my offer? I'll need some of your information to go any further," Vanderwood reclined in the chair.

Saeyoung chewed on his bottom lip. He was about to refuse, claim he could take care of it himself. But could he? If he did this himself, the prime minister had a direct shot at him if even one thing went awry. Everything would be over. And not just for Saeyoung…for Saeran, for MC…for this family that hadn't even begun to be a family yet. "A-are you sure you can do it alone?" he asked. "I can—"

"I need a 'yes' or a 'no', Seven?" Vanderwood stressed.

Saeyoung hesitated a few seconds longer. A chance to be truly free…forever… "Okay," he said, the word tearing away from his tongue.

He wasn't accustomed to others caring for him. For years, he had taken care of his brother and shielded him. And after that, he was a loner who managed his own needs under the blanket of darkness. Having the support of others…MC, the RFA, and now Vanderwood…his raw self was laid bare. It was a strange feeling…but warm.

Heat burned his cheeks as Saeyoung contemplated his next words. "And Vanderwood, thank you. I know…we haven't always gotten along, but—"

The older man let out a cry of disgust. "Don't get sappy now," he said, waving a dismissive hand. His shoulders rose as he inhaled shakily. "Besides, you helped me escape the agency. It's only fair I do the same, no?"

Fondness crept onto Saeyoung's face in the form of a smile. "If we keep this up, we'll constantly be indebted to each other."

He didn't miss the falter in Vanderwood's features. The brown haired man hummed before leaning against his gloved hand. His eyes darted away from Saeyoung, falling instead on the door of the workroom. "I saw the equipment in there while I was cleaning. You realize a ring is going to take a few months in your condition—"

Saeyoung hurled a pillow at the older man just as an unearthly sound escaped his mouth. "Shut up! She's still in this house!" he growled. He subconsciously placed a hand over his wound. "And, there's no rush yet."

Vanderwood laughed—actually laughed—before kicking his legs onto the small table. Saeyoung wasn't sure if he was glad or disturbed by the comfort he took the man's casual mien. He was like this at Rika's apartment last week as well.

"Take the time to start building your life, okay?" Vanderwood said, that alien affection returning to his voice.

"And how about your life?" Saeyoung challenged.

He didn't have time to study the man's response. Footsteps echoed from the empty hallway just as a soft beeping rung overhead. Saeyoung's stomach sunk.

"What's that?" MC asked from the doorway, her hands full of bandages, band aids, and rubbing alcohol. Saeyoung jumped to his feet and extricated the supplies from her arms.

"I set the cameras in the main room to detect movement," he explained. "Saeran is waking up. The drugs must've worn off early. I'm sorry, MC…but you need to go, in case—"

She stopped him with a chaste kiss to his lips. "I get it. Just…be careful, and clean up your arm when you're done. And—"

He set the things on the table and pulled her into a brief, but tight hug. "I'll be fine. I'll see you in a few days."

He led her backwards towards the door, pecking her lips at unsteady intervals. The thought that he wouldn't see her for several days after barely being separated in the past month had just solidified in his head. He wanted as much of her sweetness as he could get to soothe the pain of her absence.

She didn't seem to mind, as she returned the kisses in between her list of nurturing reminders. Before he knew it, her back was against the door. She really had to go now…

"I'll be in touch," he said, hoping his eyes properly conveyed his earnest apology for earlier.

"You'd better be," she replied, cupping his face and finishing their trail of light kisses with a firmer one.

Vanderwood cleared his throat. "I'm still here, you know," he said before pressing a button to open the door behind MC and practically peeling her away. Saeyoung watched them ascend the stairs.

MC stopped at the top and looked over her shoulder. A smile graced her lips. "Saeyoung…he'll be alright."

Her words kindled the hope inside his chest that had been mostly dampened by the day's events. Then, the front door slid shut, and he was left alone in the house again. He wished he had the time to take a few breaths to prepare himself and fully soak up MC's encouragement. But the system continued to alert him of increased movements.

His body moved on its own as he descended the second set of stairs to the main room of his home. He grasped the two ends of the doorway, catching his breath while searching the room for Saeran. Wisps of white hair peeked over the arm of the couch. He was still where Saeyoung had left him.

Saeyoung shut off the security system before entering the room a few steps at a time. He anticipated Saeran's angry glare to be fixed on him when he rounded the couch, but the younger twin was still asleep. That didn't mean he wasn't moving.

Saeran's hands were balled into fists as he writhed against the red couch. A string of whimpers seeped past his dry lips. Saeyoung lowered himself onto the edge of the couch.

"Saeran?" he called, wondering if it would wake him. "Saeran, wake up. It's just a bad dream—"

His words were interrupted by another cry. A lump lodged itself in Saeyoung's throat. Seeing Saeran like this reminded him of when they were kids…when Saeran was so hungry and exhausted, he couldn't walk. He would fall into these terrible nightmares, and Saeyoung would watch from a painful distance until their mother went to bed.

There was a small area near the back of his head that Saeyoung would rub to calm him down. He used to chuckle and call Saeran a cat, but he couldn't muster any humor from the memory now. Though, he wondered if it still worked…

He extended his trembling hand, wincing when Saeran's thrashing arm collided against his wound. Nonetheless, he persisted until his fingers brushed through the coarse white hair. He shut his eyes and gently stroked the soft spot, praying it would alleviate the panic plastered across Saeran's features.

His eyes shot open when his shirt tightened against his abdomen. He looked down at the gaunt hand gripping the cloth. Saeran's mint eyes sparkled through his fluttering lashes as he struggled to grasp onto consciousness. "Y-you…" was all he managed to speak.

Saeyoung covered Saeran's hand with his own, applying a bit of pressure. "It's okay. Just relax."

Saeran's brows quirked in confusion for a split second. His head rolled to his side from its own weight. "Sae…young…"

Saeyoung's breath shuddered from his lungs at the syllables that were barely spoken into the air. He knew the name was spoken from a tired mind battered by nightmares, but it didn't change the simultaneous relief and pain it invoked from hearing Saeran say it.

"Yeah," Saeyoung choked. "I'm right here."

Saeran's eyes shut again, and his hold slackened. Then the discomfort scrunching his features faded to quietness. Saeyoung set his brother's hands down before sliding to the floor. He clutched his stomach as it churned from lack of food. His eyes fell on the half-eaten bag of Honey Buddha Chips. Not even that could rouse his appetite. Anxiety would be his meal for now.

He rested his head against the couch cushion and took a deep breath, allowing his head to breath. Perhaps that was a mistake…

In the dead silence of his bunker, doubt snaked into thoughts as he considered the disaster that was the last twenty-four hours of his life. Earlier that week, it seemed like a good life was on the horizon. His hopes were high and bright despite the present trials.

But…hope was such an abstract concept. He imagined it as a subtle light-but that could be too easily consumed by the overwhelming darkness of the world, couldn't it? He wondered, in the end, if any of this was worth it. Should he just give up on happiness? Every time he strived for it, life seemed to snatch it from his grasp. Maybe he should cut off everyone before they get sucked into the abyss that was Choi Saeyoung.

He shook his head before he could further sink into despondency. No, he couldn't do this again. It wasn't fair to those who had come to care for him. Even that thought…people caring for him…was liberating. But he had to learn to trust them.

He had to trust Vanderwood would free him from the mess with his father. The RFA would always be his family, supporting him through the darkest of nights. And MC…

The thought of her cast away any misgivings blinding him before. She had proved time and time again that she would stand by him no matter what. If anything, he should work hard to return the love and light she'd poured into his life. Maybe Vanderwood was right…he should take the time to start a new life.

As for Saeran…Saeyoung pushed himself onto his knees and faced the twin. Finding courage from their previous encounter, he gingerly pushed back the bangs from his forehead. "I hope you'll learn to trust me again, brother," he mumbled.

Saeran's features scrunched together, and a low rumble erupted from his throat. Saeyoung gripped the edge of the couch. The younger boy's eyes opened for good this time. They blearily took in their surroundings before landing on Saeyoung.

He smiled weakly, though he felt the sudden downward shift in the atmosphere. "Saeran…Are you awake?"

It had barely been ten seconds, and already Saeran's countenance darkened. A gulp slid down Saeyoung's throat. This wouldn't be an easy night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyyy, more upcoming twangst.....
> 
> Also hope you enjoyed that little bit of Vanderwood, and apparently it was Vanderweek on tumblr, so I guess that kinda worked out? Anywho, hope you liked this chapter and look forward to future ones~ As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts:) Have a great week, guys!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran's awake...and Saeyoung enters step one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I know this is like a day and a half late. I had it written, but not edited, and this weekend was just not good for updating...Anyway, I'll stop rambling. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Glass shattered against the wall. Pieces of stray notes swirled through the air. Figurines, couch pillows, and empty soda cans lay strewn across the once mildly clean floor. Saeyoung didn't care about any of it.

He watched helplessly as Saeran darted about the room, tearing down everything in his wake. "I want to kill you," he kept shouting with the occasional projectile aimed at his brother's head. It should have terrified Saeyoung, considering he could—and probably would—hold to his word. But the statement sounded more like a cry for help than a threat. Perhaps it was the choked voice behind it…or perhaps it was a twin's instinct.

"Saeran," he called. For a moment, the younger twin paused, his hands gripping one of the shelves. His chest rose and fell in heavy pants. "Please…You could get hurt—"

Saeyoung barely avoided a model car hurled towards him. He expected Saeran's rampage to continue, but his demeanor shifted. He froze in the middle of the room and crouched to the ground. His hands drifted to his head, his fingers trembling between his white locks. He gritted his teeth just as a moan escaped his throat. Then, he squeezed his eyes shut and screamed.

Saeyoung gasped as the cries reverberated off the metal walls, penetrating his eardrums until a needlelike pain drilled his temple. He stumbled forward, hands outstretched. He accidentally rammed into Saeran's shoulders, but it did nothing to deter his brother's anguish. Saeran's knees curled to his chest, acting as a barrier between them.

"Saeran! What's wrong!" Saeyoung was nearly shrieking over Saeran's screams. "J-just tell me!"

"My head," Saeran said, clutching it as if his two hands were the only thing keeping it together.

Saeyoung didn't know what to do. He didn't know the cause of the headaches, and he couldn't leave Saeran in this state to get painkillers. In his panic, he lowered himself to the ground and covered Saeran's hands with his own.

"Calm down," he said in a low voice. He was probably drowned out by Saeran's cries, but he was sure that his brother was doing nothing to help himself with his shallow breathing.

Then, the wails abruptly dipped into silence. Saeran stared blankly into space for not even a second before hot tears leaked from his eyes and dangled perilously at his chin. Saeyoung's heart twisted inside his chest. He hadn't seen him cry like this in eight years. Unbidden memories flooded his mind with images of a dark closet and coarse rope. The bruises…the blood…the crying…so much crying…

The quiet tears that had morphed into sobs dragged Saeyoung back into the present. Saeran buried his face in his knees, though he still kept a solid grip on his head.

"Stop," Saeran rasped, his words barely intelligible in between his wracking hiccups. "Stop it."

Saeyoung didn't know who he was talking to—or if he was just too submerged in pain to think properly. Was this another flashback? A side effect now that the drugs were purged from his body?

Saeyoung ran the pad of his thumb against Saeran's tense knuckles. "It's okay," he murmured. He was beginning to hate those words. Not only because they were mostly untrue, but because they were all he could think of to comfort his brother—even as children. They never worked.

He knew he was risking it, but he wrapped his arms around Saeran. It should've been an awkward position, since Saeran's body was still closed in a ball. But the younger man was so thin, it was too easy for Saeyoung to hold him.

He cradled him tightly as Saeran's body convulsed in his break down. The cool air emphasized the growing dampness on his shirt from Saeran's tears. "Hey," he said quietly, his hand gripping the boy's shirt. "It's okay. It's going to be okay—"

"It's not!" Saeran snapped suddenly. His two hands planted themselves on Saeyoung's chest before shoving him backwards. Despite the watery glaze that covered them, the usual anger he reserved for Saeyoung still shone like a flame in his eyes. "It's not okay. Everything is wrong because of you!"

Saeyoung inched forward trying to mend the distance between them, but Saeran only lashed out more. For every time he went forward, Saeran pushed back. The tug of war ceased when Saeyoung compromised and sat a foot away, though his arms ached to hold his brother again…especially with his body visibly quavering.

"You're right," he said, meeting Saeran's accusing eyes. "It's not okay. This is not okay. You're not okay. You're in pain, and I want to fix that."

Saeran held his gaze for a while longer, his bottom lip quivering as he tried to speak. "You can't," he spat. "So stop trying."

Saeyoung shook his head vehemently. "Never. I don't care what you say, I'm not going to stop. You're my brother—"

He once again just missed the empty soda can lobbed at his head. Several heavy sobs wrenched themselves from Saeran's throat before he dug the heels of his palms against his reddened eyes. He drew a shuddering breath. "Leave me alone."

Saeyoung chewed on the inside of his cheek. He contemplated staying, refusing his brother's request for solitude as he usually did. But this time…he clambered to his feet. "I'll get some medicine for your head," he said. He scanned the wreck around the room. "And maybe something to clean this up."

"I don't care! Just leave," Saeran said again. "I don't want to see your face or hear your voice—I just—I hate you so much."

Saeyoung inhaled sharply at the brokenness in those words. Unlike the other times Saeran had spouted his abhorrence, this was spoken in an earnest whisper.

Unsure of what to say, he hurriedly turned his back before his brother sent another blow to shatter him for good. He said he would leave Saeran alone…but that didn't mean he was going far. He slipped into the kitchen, which was adjacent to the room where the younger twin remained. He lingered by the doorway to keep watch from behind.

After seemingly assured of Saeyoung's disappearance, Saeran fell flat onto his back and stared at the ceiling. The crying stopped. But the dead silence that followed was even worse. Saeyoung could see a contention behind the lines creasing his forehead, but he couldn't decipher its sides.

Still, Saeran needed time to gather his thoughts. It must've been jarring to be "kidnapped" from a hospital by his twin who only reappeared into his life a month ago.

He observed him a few minutes longer before leaning back against the counter. As soon as his palms hit the cool top, he crumpled. His knees buckled underneath him, and he hit the floor with a painful thud. He made no move to stand again.

Saeyoung was tired. Not in the way where his limbs ached and his eyes begged for sleep. His body was beyond physically drained. He was exhausted in the way where his chest longed for a reprieve from the raging emotions harassing his weary mind and leaving craggy scars in their wake. He wanted life to stop-just for a short time. Just so he could breathe.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, momentarily snapping him out of his increasingly depressing thoughts. There was only one person who would call this late at night. He answered and pressed the phone against his ear. He cleared his throat, hoping the lump that had settled in voice box would dissolve. "You got home okay?" he said, still sounding too croaky for his liking.

"Only just. I wanted to let you know," MC replied. He heard the sound of her creaky couch in the short pause. "Did Saeran wake up?"

"Yeah," Saeyoung replied, his focus once again straying to the white-haired boy on the tiled floor. "He's…just resting for now."

She hummed, though the drop in her voice betrayed her worry. "If he falls asleep soon, you should get some rest too. You sound tired."

"I am," he admitted. His lip tugged downward and that lump once again weaseled its way to his throat. He started when something wet and salty slid past his lips. Absentmindedly, he touched it and found a few more droplets had joined it-unbeknownst to him. "Oh…I think I'm losing it."

"What?" MC blurted. "Saeyoung, are you okay?"

She had barely finished the question when Saeyoung broke. Out of nowhere, his heart clenched tightly in his chest, provoking another onslaught of tears. He was vaguely aware of MC's distressed queries, but he was more preoccupied trying to stop this maelstrom from overtaking him. "I'm sorry," he said, between ragged breaths. "I just-"

He felt horrible. MC always seemed to be there when his weaknesses spilled out of him. She sighed softly as if reading his thoughts. Even though they were miles apart, Saeyoung felt like she was right next to him. "Don't apologize. It's…been a long day for you."

Saeyoung raked his fingers through his hair and threw his head back against the cabinets. Everything was hitting him now. Saeran's relapse yesterday, the threat of losing him in another ward, hacking into the hospital, the whole disaster with their father, and worst of all, watching Saeran in pain all over again. His screams of agony still echoed in his mind. The pain constantly behind those eyes-both physical and mental-Saeyoung wished he could just blow them away like he used to pretend to do when they were kids.

"I just want a happiness that stays," he said. He shakily fingered the cross around his neck, hoping his confession doubled as a prayer. He chuckled humorlessly. "It's funny, really. For years, I thought it was impossible for me, and it hurt. But now, when it's actually so close, it hurts even worse. Am I just being too hopeful?"

"Nonsense," MC scolded. He laughed at her little huff that crackled the speaker. "You'll get it. Everything so far is just a tiny hindrance. It'll be over before you know it."

His lips stretched in a smile. "You always know what to say, don't you?"

"It's my superpower," she replied. A playfulness he hadn't heard for a long time danced around her words. It warmed his shivering heart.

"Well, supergirl, get to bed," he said, wiping his damp face on his shirt.

"Okay," she giggled sleepily. "You get some rest too. Love you."

He pressed his lips to the speaker, making an exaggerated kissing sound. "I love you too. Good night."

He slid the phone back into his pocket, feeling a little lighter. But it was short lived. He glanced back into the main room. Saeran still lay on the floor, but he was twirling clear slab in his hands. Saeyoung frowned as he recognized it as a piece of shattered glass.

He swore under his breath. He yanked himself to his feet, ignoring the rush it sent to his head, and quickly rummaged through the cabinets for some ibuprofen and a plastic water bottle. He tried to appear as casual as possible when he returned into the main room.

Thankfully, Saeran's reflexes were still delayed from the sedatives. Saeyoung easily extracted the glass from his fingers, setting it aside on the coffee table. "Be careful," he said, forcing a cheerfulness in his tone. "You might get cut."

"And?"

Saeyoung bit down on his tongue. The nonchalance rolling off the implication was sickening. Fear gripped his chest again, and he steadied his trembling fingers as he pressed the pills against Saeran's still open palm.

"This will help with your head," he said. He put the water bottle on the floor before crouching down and gathering up the remaining pieces of glass.

The younger twin sat upright. He fixed his gaze onto the jagged shards almost longingly. Saeyoung felt nauseous. He brushed Saeran's knee, hoping to snatch him away from whatever dark thoughts plagued his mind.

Saeran flinched as if the touch burned him. "I told you to leave me alone," he snapped. He spun around so his back was once again facing Saeyoung. The latter gently piled the glass onto the coffee table before settling against Saeran's back. He remembered when MC used to do the same…the comfort he took in being able to remain hidden, but still feeling the warmth of another human radiating into his frigid soul. Maybe it would be the same for Saeran…even if it was from someone he hated so deeply.

"Saeran, let's not be in pain anymore," he said, the words tumbling from his mouth like a desperate wish.

"What?" Saeran croaked.

Saeyoung heaved a sigh. "Let's just live a happy life. I know it's difficult to go back to how we were—"

"It's impossible," Saeran interrupted. He inched forward, decreasing the amount of skin shared with his brother.

Saeyoung tensed at the sudden cold on his back. "Saeran," he began, turning his head slightly to glance at his brother. "Are you…refusing happiness because it's difficult to accept?"

No response.

Saeyoung shifted a little more to his side, and Saeran did the same in the opposite direction. He was hiding. And why wouldn't he? A lot had happened in the past few weeks. His twin brother, who he believed abandoned him, suddenly reentered his life with a plethora of promises. Rika, who he had claimed to be his Savior, cast him aside after years of keeping him close. He had gone through a drastic physical change where his mind was finally free from drugs and now forced to deal with the horrors of everything that passed since his wretched childhood.

Bile stung at the back of Saeyoung's throat. None of it should've happened.

"You feel as if everyone you've ever trusted betrayed you, right?" he said more as a statement. "I don't know how hurt you are, but I can imagine."

Saeran blew air harshly through his nose. His nails turned white as he pressed his flat palm against the floor. Saeyoung tentatively skimmed his hand over his. As expected, Saeran withdrew, crossing both arms over his chest.

"We're…twins," he said with a small chuckle. "I can tell you're in pain just by looking at your fingertips. But your life doesn't end just because you hate the world. The sun will always rise. We just have to live for tomorrow. All the wounds you have from the past…You can just leave them there."

Saeyoung lifted his eyes back to Saeran's face. Despite the blank stare plastered on his features, he could see the strains of hopelessness so plainly as if they were etched into his skin.

Perhaps…in eight years, Saeran hadn't changed much after all. He was still scared…to love and be loved. Saeyoung understood. Neither of them had the experience in their childhood…but unlike the older twin, Saeran was given a bad hand and forced into the crueler side of humanity. Saeyoung intended to fix that.

"I know I said it before," Saeyoung continued the one-sided conversation. "But I will always accept you. Just come back to me whenever you're ready. Use this place to recover…but I won't force myself on you. And, Saeran?"

The question demanded the younger man's attention, no matter how reluctant he was to give it. Saeran's gaze remained anchored to the ground, but he twisted sideways to face his brother. Saeyoung hesitated over his next words. Saeran exuded emptiness in the way he slouched…in the way his eyes seemed dead, though there was a tiny bit of warmth coming from the blood flowing through his veins. He wanted the next words to mean something…

"Thank you," he said finally. Saeran's eyes snapped up to his. A questioning expression leaked through his insipid mask. His lips parted, as if to ask, but he seemed to think better of it. Saeyoung answered anyway. "For being there so I can protect you. For being here right now. I know…when we were young, I didn't always know how to protect you. I did what I thought was best, and…I want you to know. Your existence gives me a purpose."

At the mention of purpose, Saeran once again took great interest in the floor. As his fingers traced along the lines between the tiles, his eyes flashed with that resolution that Saeyoung hated so fiercely. He was thinking those thoughts again…of disappearing from this world. Dread surged through him, and he grabbed Saeran's arm. He inwardly cringed at how easily his whole hand wrapped around it. "Even if you think no one in this world loves you—or if there's no point for you to stay alive in this world—you're wrong. Have faith that you can trust people…and be happy again."

Frustration prickled under Saeyoung's skin when his words did nothing to melt away the deep-seated sadness behind those eyes. He just couldn't seem to break through. With a surrendered breath, he bowed his head against Saeran's chest and clutched onto his jacket so hard that his fingers ached. The younger boy stiffened underneath him, but Saeyoung didn't budge. He wasn't letting this go.

"Please, Saeran," he rasped. Desperation clung to every word leaving his mouth. "Please don't go. I beg of you as a brother. I know you won't forgive me, but let's just stay in the same world."

A hand rested on his hair, and he was startled at the gentleness when Saeran pulled him away. The pressure remained on his head as his twin searched his face with an expression Saeyoung couldn't interpret. It was skeptical, but also…soft.

Saeran's eyes drifted to the pills in his hands before he wordlessly released Saeyoung. He tossed the medicine in his mouth and chugged them down with water. He set the bottle aside before climbing back onto the couch and laying on his side. Saeyoung remained frozen in place, his mouth forming a perfect "o."

He wasn't sure what happened. He wasn't sure if Saeran had made a resolution one way or another, but for now, it was peaceful again. He was tempted to make his brother verbally promise not to do anything drastic, but he was too scared to break the quiescent moment.

One step at a time, he told himself. He wasn't even sure tonight could be considered a step, but it was a day. One more day Saeran was still with him. Saeyoung took a deep breath before cleaning up the rest of the debris in the room as quietly as he could.

As much as he joked around about being "god 707", he couldn't perform miracles. He couldn't heal his brother in one conversation, and he couldn't restore their relationship in one month. But he could help Saeran get through the next relapse…the next flashback…the next upheaval. That's what he would commit himself to. He would live life one day at a time…with happiness waiting at the end.

He only prayed Saeran would start thinking the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone please give Saeyoung a bed, a blanket, and a stuffed cat pillow. Give the boy some rest. Hehe. 
> 
> Hope you liked the twin angst part 1 as Saeran recovers. Thank you so much for reading! I always love to hear your thoughts and feedback :) 
> 
> By the way, it's very likely I won't update next Sunday either. Going on a little trip, so I kind of want to take a break from the heavier writing this story takes. However, I might be doing some fluffy drabbles on my tumblr during the travel, so feel free to read/request there. :) See you guys in two weeks ^_^


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC unknowingly runs into a friend and gets some tough advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back! It was nice to have a little break, but I'm also glad to be writing again. This chapter is a little less heavy, and also features a character who had yet to make an appearance in this story, so I hope you enjoy!

Rain pattered steadily against the glass pane of the mostly empty café. MC's fingers absentmindedly drummed to the same rhythm on the disposable cup, little currents of warmth through her cold body.

For the fiftieth time that afternoon, her eyes darted away from the haziness of the bustling street side to the stillness of her phone on the table. She blew out her cheeks at the lack of notifications. Five days…it had been five days since she'd seen her boyfriend, so phone calls and texts were the only things keeping them in contact.

She understood the situation with Saeran, so she didn't complain when Saeyoung's phone calls were short. But she would be lying if she said she wasn't starting to feel lonely.

Since V's funeral, the rest of the RFA had been busy or unreachable, in Yoosung's case. Saeyoung had told her to start looking through old files in Rika's apartment to pass the time. Since she agreed to continue her position as the RFA party coordinator, she spent most of her hours doing so. But, soon enough, guest names and information began blurring in her head—and eyes—and she needed a break. Who knew the reprieve would be more painful than the work?

Small vibrations rattled against the surface, and her heart slammed against her ribs in anticipation. She picked up the phone, her fingers shaking from the poor combination of caffeine and eagerness. So much so that she had to put the device back down to read the contact name.

Jumin Han.

She rolled her eyes, pouting at the disappointment. She let the call go to voicemail.

Jumin had been calling MC a lot lately. He'd call in the morning, and ask if she needed something…and proceed to ask of Saeyoung's whereabouts. He'd have Jaehee call in the afternoon to ask if MC was doing well in Rika's old apartment…and then not-so discreetly ask of Saeyoung's whereabouts. Once more in the evening, if MC even bothered to pick up then, he would again ask of Saeyoung's whereabouts.

MC had never been subject to torture—drugs, maybe, thanks to the ordeal at Mint Eye, but never torture. Still, the amount of calls the man sent her way rivaled that of her own boyfriend, and she wondered if she would eventually break if it persisted another few days.

She was nearing that breaking point when her phone lit up a few minutes later, the CEO's name perfectly visible on the screen. With a surrendered sigh, she answered and pressed the speaker to her ear. "Good afternoon, Jumin. I'm doing well, thank you. No, I'm not going to tell you where Saeyoung is. So, how is work?"

To her surprise, he actually chuckled. "Work is busy," he replied after a moment. The sound of shuffling papers always seemed to accompany the trustfund kid's calls. "But, work is always busy, which is why I'm giving up on asking about Saeyoung. There's no place he can be now other than his bunker, and I'm not bothering hiring an army just to reach him."

MC couldn't help the relief that ushered her next breath. "Sorry, Jumin," she said with a small smile. She leaned back in her seat, redirecting her attention to the water droplets streaking the window. "So, why did you call?"

Jumin let out a low hum, almost as if he were doubtful of that original decision. "V left his old apartment to Rika," he said finally. Despite the business air in the man's voice, there was no mistaking the hitch in his breath as he spoke of his two old friends. "So, I went there to remove the last of his things yesterday. There are a few items that I think belong to Saeyoung."

The box and Saeran's Christmas gift, MC guessed. "I would love to help, Jumin, but I can't exactly go there whenever I want," she said. "I don't have a car, since it's easy enough to walk or get public transport around town. And Saeyoung's bunker is a good distance away, still."

That and the fact that Saeran was still unstable at times.

"I see," he said. He inhaled deeply, and MC heard the creak of a chair. "I'm sending you a rental car. You can use it however long you need."

Her eyes widened, and she scrambled to sit upright. Scattered protests flew from her lips, but she was pretty sure they were far from coherent. Silencing herself for a moment, she shook her head and forced her tongue to listen to her brain. "You're very generous, Jumin, but I can't ask you to—"

"I don't often give things for free," he replied, a hardness barely masking the fondness in his tone. "But if you insist, consider it an exchange. You deliver the box, and you can borrow the car for a little while. Trust me. I have plenty of cars at my disposal."

MC's mouth hung open, another protest begging to be released. But…it had already been almost a week since she'd seen Saeyoung, and the detachment was carving a hallow behind her ribs. Even if she could have five minutes…

"That's not an even trade," she demurred further.

Jumin exhaled sharply, obviously not thrilled at being challenged. He cleared his throat. "Very well. As you already know, I've been researching the actual scope of Mint Eye. There might be some things in Rika's apartment that I may ask to look at briefly."

"Okay, just let me know," she agreed. She licked her lips. "Th-thank you, Jumin."

"Of course," he said dismissively. "You're a part of the RFA, and to me, the RFA is family. You know how I feel about family, MC."

A small chuckle edged up her throat. "Yes, Jumin. But really…thank you. Not just for this, but…everything so far."

There was a long silence. MC would've assumed he hung up if it weren't for the ringing of office phones drifting through the line. When he spoke again, a heaviness cloaked his words. "You're welcome, but…my only hope is to unite the RFA again. To make us better. It's what V would've wanted, I think. No…I know."

MC's lips tugged downward. "Hey... if you ever need to talk—"

"I appreciate the offer," he said, another deep laugh resounding through his speech. "But, I am fine, MC. I'm sorry to cut our conversation short, but I have some things to attend to. I'll deliver the box and car to you this evening. Give Saeyoung my regards as well. Good bye."

She set the phone down onto the table with yet another sigh. Jumin's demeanor worried her, but as she was constantly reminded since joining the RFA, she couldn't always fix everyone. But to see everyone broken… it hurt like hell.

She rubbed her eyes and attempted to stretch her legs out in the small booth. She wasn't expecting a person's legs to brush against her own. She jumped in her seat, and her knee rammed against the top.

She bit back a cry and looked up to see who had invaded her little space. For the second time in her life, she came face-to-face with one of the most beautiful people in perhaps the whole of South Korea.

Zen's hand covered his dazzling smile. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

MC breathed into a laugh. Relief swam over her in waves. It wasn't because the stranger happened to be completely safe and not some creep. But because for the first time in days, she actually had company—not over a device.

"It's good to see you, Zen," she said sincerely. They had met at V's funeral, but the circumstances didn't warrant a friendly conversation. It was nice to see him casual…and a little more carefree.

"Same to you," he replied, cradling a coffee cup of his own. "I saw you when I came in, and I couldn't resist joining you. You looked so lonely."

MC rubbed her neck, eyes absently straying to the side. "Am I that obvious?"

It was his turn to jump. He leaned forward on the table in an almost conspiratorial manner. "I was saying a joke, but you really feel that way? Do I need to scold Saeyoung for making his girlfriend feel upset?"

MC waved her hands frantically, hoping to stop him before he really did call up the red head—or worse, just go there in person. When it came to Zen, she didn't doubt it. And knowing Saeyoung, he would take the admonition deeply, and that would not end well.

"No, no!" she said. "It's not…It's not Saeyoung's fault. I just haven't left the apartment much. Guess I got spoiled after a month-long road trip with my boyfriend, huh?"

She attempted at a joking spirit, but it soon dissolved into awkward chuckles when he didn't respond accordingly. Any spark of playfulness diminished, leaving traces of the same sadness that seemed to plague all the RFA members lately. His gaze fell onto his cup, and his thumbs traced along the edges. "You know, we didn't get to talk much at the funeral," he began. Reluctance exuded from the man despite his laidback posture and easy-going mien. "Are you okay? I mean after everything…"

MC snorted, self-consciously tugging at her long sleeves. "I got a few scratches from Mint Eye," she said with shrug. "Besides that, everything has been busy, so I guess it's helping me get back to normal."

"But that's what I'm afraid of," Zen said, sitting forward again. He bit his lip and met her eyes. "How can I explain this? So…there was a friend I knew awhile back—er—when I was in that motorcycle gang. He had some sort of escapade involving a life or death situation, and afterwards he seemed normal. Everything was back to routine, and that's when it hit him. It was weeks later, and he just started breaking."

MC took a sip of her coffee. It was lukewarm now, but she was glad of the brief pause. She didn't want to admit that she had been thinking much of the same. She had been fine after the whole ordeal. Too fine...almost distant. And that terrified her. "What happened to him?"

Zen shrugged. "He got over it eventually, but…he changed. Everyone does when something traumatic happens."

"I'm fine, though," the words wandered off her tongue more as a question.

"Good," Zen nodded, his hand patting hers. He gave a half smile. "But even if you're not and you need support, that's okay too. You're strong, but not invincible. You should be careful."

MC fiddled with the lid of her cup. She was aware of Zen's pervasive gaze, but she avoided it. She hated being reminded of that fact. She was so accustomed to being driven by helping others, that it was almost painful to be told that she was human and needed others just as much. Especially when those around her were in need of strength. "Funny," she muttered. "Saeyoung said something similar to me the other day."

Zen slammed the flat of his hand against the table. He gave an approving thrum and nodded his head vigorously. He really was an actor…drama and all. "That boy has a sensible side after all! I approve," he said. His facial expression switched in an instant, and for a second, MC was really convinced he was a threatening older brother. "But that doesn't mean you can let your guard down. If he gets too close or if he starts talking in a really deep, husky voice, you back away—or kick him really hard in the—"

"Zen!" she burst, heat flushing her face. She pressed a hand to her cheek, glaring when he cracked up laughing.

"Young love is very funny," he finished with a flourishing sigh.

"You speak like you're an old man," MC said, satisfied when he actually looked insulted. She leaned her elbows on the table, her embarrassment fueling her to change the subject as quickly as possible. "And what about you? Are you okay?"

His smile faltered, and once again, gloominess draped over the tiny booth like a thick curtain. He pulled out his phone and checked something, though MC figured it was more of an excuse to prepare some sort of answer. "I am. I mean…I have a lot of questions, but I think the answers aren't as important to me as they are to Yoosung."

MC hadn't seen or heard from the blond since V's funeral. She knew he hadn't taken the death or Rika's current mental state well, but besides that…

"Is he still attending school and everything alright?" she asked.

Zen shook his head with a tight-lipped smile. "He insists on taking care of Rika. I've tried convincing him, but…he's really attached to her."

MC stiffened at the mention of the woman. She bit down on her tongue before a scoff escaped. Bitterness harbored around her insides, overwhelming the pity she had once held for the woman. Even when she wasn't running a cult, Rika seemed to have a tight hold over people. Poor Yoosung…

"Right there," Zen blurted. His eyes studied her face, and a coldness engulfed his features. "You, Jaehee, Jumin…you all get that same face whenever Rika comes up. Like you're sad, but also angry. Why?"

She parted her lips, but she couldn't find the words. Resurfacing guilt impeded any quick response, and she knew the delay only flared Zen's suspicions. How she wished Saeyoung was there right now. He was the one who knew how to smooth things over when it came to the RFA's secrets-not her.

"Let me guess. You can't tell me," Zen said. It was the first time she had heard any real vitriol behind his voice. But she couldn't begrudge him for it. When Jumin and Jaehee first suggested hiding what really happened, MC's conscience screamed. But she also saw the complexity of the situation. Rika…V…both of them were so entangled into the lives of people that the truth could do more damage than good if revealed at a poor time. Not to mention the consequences if an official investigation began…

She shook her head apologetically. His scowl softened, but hurt flickered across his face. "Zen, I'm sorry," MC emphasized.

"I know," he said, digging into his pocket. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, setting them on the table preemptively. He interlaced his fingers together and rested his woven hands on the table. "Do you want to know the best relationship advice I've ever gotten?"

MC froze at the sudden non-sequitur. "Communication is key?" she drawled.

He downed his coffee like it was a shot of alcohol instead of a probably blazing hot beverage. The way he gazed longingly at his cup, she wondered if he didn't wish it were. He wiped his upper lip against his jacket. "That too, but no. It was this. Honesty is like rain. It can be messy, damaging, and sometimes uncomfortable. But it's necessary for anything to flourish."

MC tugged the end of her ponytail. "I have a feeling you're not just talking about romantic relationships."

Zen chest rose in a deep breath. He flipped open his pack of cigs and slid one out. "You're smart, MC. I trust you'll make the right decision," he said with a wink. He gathered his things and stood. "I'm sorry, but my break is over. Call me if you need anything, and…remember what I said about taking care of yourself."

She nodded, forcing a smile even if shame threatened to batter her spirits. "You too."

He patted her head before departing. The jingle of the bells finalized his exit, and MC was once again left in solitude. She glanced around, suddenly noticing the influx of couples in the place. The sight accentuated the growing cavity inside her chest, and she quickly turned away.

When her phone vibrated against the table a second later, she swore Saeyoung was a wizard who could read her mind.

**Saeyoung: I miss you…**

The text simultaneously emphasized and filled the emptiness inside her. She wasted no time shooting back a reply.

**MC: Me too…if I said I had transportation, could I come see you tonight?**

**Saeyoung: Please... I'll be waiting for your call.**

She frowned at the uneasy feeling swirling in her gut. The tiredness she had been hearing in his voice the past few days was now leaking into his texts. With a sigh, she slid her phone into her pocket.

Despite the excitement rushing through her veins as she exited the shop and stepped into the drizzling rain, her conversation with Zen wouldn't stop replaying in her head. Right now, the RFA was recovering. Jumin was mourning, Saeyoung was opening up slowly, Jaehee probably was regaining trust, and Yoosung was falling even deeper into the pit he was stuck in before. But even when all of that was over, would they be able to become the RFA again with so many secrets?

Looking back at the organization history, she wasn't so sure…

She was part of this family now. She cared for them—all of them—deeply, and she wouldn't be able to stand it if they were torn apart by more hiddenness. As she pulled herself onto a bus, she made a promise to herself.

She didn't know how or when, but somehow, she was going to fix this schism once and for all. And this time, she would do it with the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, MC...are you breaking too? 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this lighter chapter. The past few have been angst and plot heavy, I know. But, I think MC has a lot coming for her yet. Anyway, I hope to hear your thoughts this week, and I hope you have a non-suckish Monday (if it's not already Monday in your timezone). Thanks for reading, and I will see you next time:)


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran is catching on to Saeyoung's worries, and Saeyoung is finally reunited with MC, but...something is off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit late. I kind of tore this to pieces while editing and got carried away. ANywho, hope you enjoy!

The tang of oil and the creaking of metal against metal permeated the air. His skin prickled from the currents of a cool draft gusting out the vents and bouncing off the mostly concrete room. His back ached from laying on it for nearly an hour, and his fingers stiffened around the wrench in his hands. But Saeyoung loved it.

It had been so long since he'd worked on one of his cars. He'd almost forgotten the exhilaration of taking pieces apart, reforming them into something better—something his own. And the best part? Emptying his brain of everything else.

He shimmied out from under his white sports car and leaned against the closed doors. He wiped the sheen of sweat from his brow and twisted his body to get a better view of the garage entrance. He slouched in disappointment when the door remained shut. MC had said she would visit him tonight. He had programmed the doors to open to her voice whenever she arrived, but he was growing restless.

He admitted, he was spoiled. No, perhaps "addicted" was a better word. He was addicted to her presence ever since the four days together in Rika's old apartment. The past week had been agony for his heart, which he firmly believed was tethered to hers. Phone calls and text messages were temporary balms, but in the heat of his brother's hateful derisions, they did nothing to appease the withdrawals of being with her physically.

A smile crept onto his mouth at the thought of having her in his arms before the day was over. He'd see her eyes crinkled and glittering as they searched his in their perceptive manner. Her nose scrunched up if he said something cheesy or cracked one of his stupid jokes. Her fingers caressing his cheek or his hair, gradually reducing his brain to mush. And her smile…he could hear it over the phone, but it had been days since he'd seen it. His heart hammered against his ribs just imagining her pretty pink lips, curved upwards teasingly. Or even better, to have them molded against his own and—

He snapped out of his daydreams when the groan of an opening door reached his ears. For a moment, he thought it was the garage door, but it was far too quiet to be that. Before panic could settle in, Saeran appeared in the grey room, pausing by the threshold to observe the numerous cars. The older twin nearly jumped to his feet, but Saeran's slow and calm movements placated the looming anxiety of another outburst.

His eyes fell to Saeyoung, who still sat on the ground. He furrowed his brows, and his lips dipped into a frown. "Your face is red."

Saeyoung self-consciously turned his head, pretending to peruse the tools next to him. He chased away any thoughts of MC for now. Perhaps he got a little carried away with his excitement…

He cleared his throat. "You were asleep, so I just came out here to fix my baby."

"Your what?" Saeran replied, his face contorting in disgust.

Saeyoung chuckled despite himself. Using the car mirror as leverage, he hauled himself to his feet and patted the white, bullet hole encrusted hood of his Lamborghini. "My baby," he said, though saying the playful nickname in front of his brother felt a little awkward. "I managed to get it back after...the escapade with the agency. So, I thought I'd clean it up."

Saeran blinked a few times at the car before ambling around the garage. He tended to do that in the bunker as well, in his quieter moods. He would absorb every detail, fascination lighting up his eyes and momentarily transforming him to the curious, little boy that Saeyoung once knew.

Saeran lingered by the tool bench, his fingers brushing over the various objects, although Saeyoung couldn't decipher the reason behind the idle touch. He swallowed his apprehension, attempting to appear collected.

"Are you feeling okay?" Saeyoung asked, leaning forward to get a better glimpse of the twin's expression. While he had been milder yesterday and today, Saeran still fell victim to panic attacks or bouts of painful headaches. When the two were combined, which was often, things turned violent. A garage full of metal tools and pointy objects was not a good place for that to happen.

Saeran lifted one of razor blades, his focus narrowing on the sharp edge. Suddenly, the inquisitiveness sparking behind his eyes morphed into that look that Saeyoung hated so much. The red head rushed forward, snatching the razor from his brother's grasp. He forced a grin and waved it in display. "I was looking for this. Thank you."

He walked back towards the car and slid underneath, pretending to actually be using the blade for something. He knew it didn't assuage his brother's suspicion when Saeran let out a frustrated sigh. Metal clattered against the ground.

Saeyoung bent over sideways so he could keep Saeran in sight while acting like he was doing work. He was surprised to find his brother crouched down, staring back at him almost in disbelief. His mint eyes darted away as he swiped the fallen wrench from the ground.

Saeyoung slid back out into the open air, propping himself on his good arm. "You never answered my question."

"The couch was uncomfortable," Saeran muttered, setting the tool back in place, though his hands idly shifted the others around.

"You could always take the room," Saeyoung said pointedly. All week, he had offered Saeran a room to sleep in, and every time the twin refused the idea. He wasn't sure why. Was he scared of being alone despite the hundreds of protests demanding solitude?

"I told you I don't need one," Saeran bit back. He glanced sideways at Saeyoung before gripping the ends of the bench. "I won't be here that long anyway."

Saeyoung winced at the double meaning behind that statement. "Saeran—"

"Don't," the twin replied before straightening. He shook his head. "I woke up, and you weren't hanging over me like usual. So, I thought you-" his words dropped off in a painful choke.

Saeyoung lowered his gaze to the ground. His finger traced the small cracks in the concrete as he tried to formulate some comforting words. But as usual, nothing profound came. "I'm not going to leave you now. You know that, right?"

He wasn't sure Saeran even heard him. He said it quietly, afraid that if he spoke too loudly, the world might hear and separate the twins again by some tragic circumstance. He looked up when the younger man gave no response. Saeran, too, found some busy work in wiping the dirty tools with a cloth.

Saeyoung wondered if it would be like this forever. He was terrified of making a false move and destroying everything, and Saeran was hiding behind the hurt from the past. It was as if they were both engaged in a dance…never actually talking about what happened nor making any steps to mend it.

Yet, as much as Saeyoung longed for the avoidance to end, he found himself following the rhythm every time. He took a deep breath. "If the couch is uncomfortable, please use a room. Even if you decide to leave after you recover."

There was silence again, and Saeyoung almost took it as another rejection. Then Saeran faced him and confronted him with an unnerving, smoldering glare. "The room at the end of the hall."

Saeyoung hesitated. He licked his lips and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's still under some construction. And the other one is empty. Er—how about the one across from mine or next to it?"

Saeran hurled a screw driver onto the ground. Saeyoung recoiled at the sudden movement, his back hitting the car. "Why?" Saeran demanded. "Because those are the only spare rooms without a lock?"

Saeyoung gulped. He was hoping his excuses weren't so obvious. He opened his mouth to reply, but Saeran continued with a vehemence the older twin hadn't heard so far. "You think I don't notice what you're doing?" he snapped. "You think I don't notice that the knives in the kitchen are dulled? Or that the medicines in the kitchen and bathroom have been moved to your room—which is locked at all times unless you're inside?"

"What do you expect me to do?" Saeyoung burst. Frustration seared through him, merging with his fear in the worst possible way. "Seeing you hurting…do you know how painful it is to just watch? I can't just stand back and do nothing while you sink further into suffering—even if you're the one inflicting it. And when you keep making these comments about leaving and—and—"

He couldn't bring himself to say the word "dying." He moistened his dry lips with his tongue. Calming himself in a breath, he once again turned to his brother. "I just want to help you."

Saeran's mouth curled into a snarl. His hand clenched around another tool, this time a wrench. "And I just want you to leave me alone. But do I get that? No!"

He lodged the tool into the wall, though he flinched at the impact. Saeyoung stood as tears streamed down his twin's face. This happened so many times in the past few days, but the frequency did nothing to alleviate the pain striking his chest.

"Instead," Saeran went on, gritting his teeth. "I'm suffocated…trapped. Every time, this happens. Here—the hospital-at home—everywhere!"

"I'm not trapping you! I'm just—" Saeyoung reached out a hand, but Saeran shoved it away.

"I'm going to sleep," he said. He aggressively mopped the tears off his face with his sleeve before turning his back towards Saeyoung.

He tried to follow, but the younger man shouldered him back into the garage. "Saeran, wait!"

Saeran rammed a hand through his hair, tugging at it slightly. "Can you give me some peace for more than five minutes?"

An objection dangled on Saeyoung's tongue, but he decided that an argument wouldn't solve anything. He stepped back as a sign of surrender, and Saeran pivoted on his heel and disappeared down the stairs.

The older twin waited until he heard the click of the door before hurrying to the other side of the room where a small locker sat on a table. He pulled out a key from underneath a paper weight and shoved it into the padlock. It hit the desk with a thud, and dust swept into his face when he opened the metal unit.

Screens flashed inside, displaying the live feed from the bunker's CCTVs. Originally, Saeyoung had used the feed when to sneak away from work and keep an eye on Vanderwood. But now, his eyes searched for his brother around the house.

It seemed as if Saeran had no ill intentions towards himself after all. He trudged back into the main room before flopping sideways onto the couch. He wriggled uncomfortably and adjusted several cushions. His shoulders wracked in sobs for several harrowing minutes before he settled.

Saeyoung exhaled in relief when Saeran's chest rose and fell steadily. He pushed his glasses on top of his head and rubbed his burning eyes. The past week had felt like ten years, and yet their relationship had only seemed to have gotten worse. Their conversation assaulted his brain, playing in a constant loop. He shouldn't have lost it…he shouldn't have let his fears get to him. He was supposed to be calm…patient. But Saeran didn't respond positively to that either.

"Oh, Lord, what do I do with him?" he prayed as he yanked at his cross necklace.

Within the next minute, the security system crackled overhead. "Voice recognition accepted. New vehicle entering."

The garage door creaked and the purr of an engine echoed throughout the large area. It wasn't an answer to his prayer, but Saeyoung couldn't help but thank God for the timing nonetheless. He turned just in time to see a dark grey car pull into an empty spot. He bit his lip in anticipation, watching as the door opened and shut and then finally…

A grin spread across Saeyoung's face when MC's eyes met his, and he found his feet stumbling forward on their own volition. Her pace was much faster, and before he knew it, she leapt into his arms, her legs latching around his hips as he held her up by her waist.

For a second, it was surreal. Her warmth and affection radiated onto his cold and tired being, and he found himself greedily soaking up every second. He squeezed her tightly, carrying her forward until she was sitting on the hood of his white car. She giggled into his shoulder before pulling away, her hands resting on his cheeks.

She scrunched her nose…perfectly mirroring the image in his memory. "You have black marks on your face," she half-laughed.

She wiped it away with her fingers, meanwhile, he pressed kisses to the edge of her palm. He leaned against her forehead, eyes enraptured by her every feature. "Gosh, I've missed you."

Her hands folded over the back of his neck. "We've talked on the phone every day," MC pointed out. "But it's not the same."

"It's not," he agreed, nuzzling his nose against hers.

"You look tired," she commented.

"I feel better with you here," he confessed. "I'm just sorry it took so long to see you. I couldn't leave because I had to take care of Saeran."

"It's okay," she replied, understanding as ever. "How is he doing?"

"He's…" he began. His eyes drifted to the screens in the locker. Saeran still lay on the couch, almost as lifelessly as he looked most days. "I'm so scared to be honest."

"He's still in pain?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," he rasped, recollecting their earlier conversation. "But, I can just feel he's having bad thoughts. And I don't know what to do! I just tell him that everything will be fine, and that I won't go anywhere now, but I don't think I'm doing much."

She clicked her tongue and pinched his cheek roughly. "Don't say that. He'll come back. He's gotten through everything so far, and you're doing so much for him."

Saeyoung swallowed thickly, forcing his determination to ward off his despairing thoughts. "You're right. I'm going to make him live. I'm going to make sure he becomes healthy and happy again, and…I'm going to do my best so that's he's happy."

She nodded, bringing her hand to his cheek again. "Of course that's how it will be, so don't give up."

He enveloped her in his arms again, mumbling a thanks into her neck. He didn't hold her long, instead distancing himself to inspect her face and arms. "And how about you? Are you hurting anywhere?"

"No, Saeyoung," she said, her lips still turned upwards in a gentle grin.

"Do your wrists hurt?"

"No, Saeyoung."

He lurched forward, leaning his palms onto the hood. "Did you miss me?" he whispered.

A blush crept up her neck, but she still shifted forward. "So much, Saeyoung," she returned.

His chest vibrated in a low laugh, and he almost closed the distance between them. But MC abruptly looked downwards, her smile dropping and a pallor overtaking her rosy cheeks. He followed her gaze and saw the bullet holes still marring the hood of his car from their escape from the agency. His arm throbbed subconsciously at the memory, even if it hadn't been the first time he'd been shot.

"MC," he called in attempts to drag her out of her stupor. It didn't work. He hooked a finger under her chin and led her face back to his. She blinked, still in a daze. "Hey, is everything all right?"

She squirmed in his hold and inhaled sharply. "Ah, yeah," she replied, her eyes not quite meetings his. "I guess I blanked out."

Saeyoung glanced back at the bullet holes and before returning to MC. She hadn't expressed any signs of struggling, despite the absolute hell they went through, but he couldn't help the knot wriggling in his gut when her eyes glossed over again.

"Look at me," he said, and she complied. "Are you okay? Have you been—I don't know—having flashbacks or—"

"Flashbacks?" she jumped. She shook her head emphatically. "No, no. Saeyoung, really, I'm fine. I just…ran into Zen today, and he was talking about traumatic experiences—I guess I'm just overthinking things."

The shadow passing over her countenance wasn't convincing. "Overthinking, what?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I guess I've felt a little…numb to everything, and…"

Her voice trailed off, and she looked down at their interlocked hands on her lap. Her fingers traced around his growing scar until she completely tensed. Saeyoung rested his hand over hers, and once again she snapped back into attention.

"It happened again," he frowned.

She tilted her head as if surprised by what he just said. She let out a strangled laugh that only made him more nervous. "I'm just tired, maybe. I've been sorting through files like you've said, so my brain is fried."

He chewed on his lip and inspected her face. She wasn't lying, he could tell that much. But there was definitely something slightly off in her demeanor, but he couldn't put a finger on it. He rubbed small circles on her back, more as an excuse to step closer again. "Fine, but tell me right away if something is wrong. If you get anxious or exhausted or want to cry randomly. And also, don't work too much. You still need sleep and three meals daily and—"

He was cut off when MC yanked him forward by the collar of his shirt and kissed him. "I promise I'll take care," she said sincerely. "Anything else?"

"Yeah," Saeyoung stammered, trying to regain his wits. "Kiss me again?"

So she did. Once…twice…three times…Saeyoung lost count. His brain was reduced to a puddle as her mouth moved against his slowly…rhythmically. His body flared with a pleasant heat, obliterating his anxiety and filling him with unadulterated joy. He faintly remembered telling her in the hospital that he wanted to kiss her senseless. Well, she stole the idea and was executing it on him very…very well.

They had to surface for air, but even so, they stayed close, their heavy pants intermingling in the space between them. Saeyoung dived forward to continue, but stopped when he shifted a hand to her hip and felt vibrations. "I—er—think your phone…"

She froze in a moment of confusion before hurriedly digging it out of her pocket. She had missed the call, but two seconds later a text appeared. "Oh, it's Jumin. There's a box I'm supposed to give to you. He's dropping it off tonight."

Saeyoung nodded. He checked his watch and sighed. "It's getting late anyway. I don't want you to be out at odd hours because of me."

MC sulked and leaned her head against his chest. "I don't want to go home yet."

The yearning in her voice was simultaneously cute and distressing. "When we get married, you won't have to."

Saeyoung had meant to say that in his head, but was mortified when he realized he said it aloud. She looked up at him wide-eyed and red faced. He laughed nervously, stepping back a few feet. "Sorry. Did I embarrass you?"

MC also let out a few flighty chuckles. "I was thinking the same," she muttered so quietly, he almost didn't hear it.

There was something both awkward and sweet in the way they shared a laugh. Saeyoung took her hand and yanked her into a hug. "Drive safe, and text when you get home," he said. He pressed a kiss to her temple. "And remember what I said. If you start getting…symptoms, let me know."

She nodded, pecking the tip of his nose before detaching herself and slipping back into the car. "You take care of yourself too, Saeyoung," she called before shutting the door.

He heaved a sigh as the engine roared and the headlights faded into the distance. The weight on his shoulders returned at her departure. Not only would he miss her for another few days, but her behavior was worrying. Guilt wrapped around his head. He knew firsthand that signs of trauma weren't immediate, and he hoped MC wouldn't be severely harmed by something he dragged her into.

Shaking it from his mind, he pushed himself off the car's hood and set the security system for the night. He turned to the CCTV feed inside the locker. Saeran was still laying down, tranquil albeit in a cramped position. Despite the incident from earlier, his brother might actually get a full night's rest, and for Saeyoung, that was a miracle.

After a few more minutes of his vigil, the day started to catch up to him, and sleep tugged on his heavy eyelids. He locked up the garage, dragging his feet down the stairs into the bunker. He didn't even make it to his room, choosing instead to crash onto one of the empty chairs near Saeran. Dread plagued his mind at the sight of his sleeping brother, reminding him that this reprieve would only be temporary. Tomorrow, the routine would begin again. Saeran would push him away, and Saeyoung would blindly push back ten times harder.

But for now, the bunker was silent. Saeyoung forced himself to concentrate on that one present fact. Yes, things were bad. But, one day…this peace would be a norm.

At least, he hoped. He so desperately hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran is reaching a breaking point....MC is reaching a breaking point...Saeyoung is probably barely together at this point. Poor guys...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter nonetheless:) As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'll see you in a week, and thanks for reading. Who knows? Maybe the V route will be out by that time? Hahaha....


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are...worse?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, it's been like two weeks....I'm so sorry. I wasn't feeling well for like a good week and a half, and then my brain just needed a breather. I was going to wait until Sunday to post, but i thought that it had been so long I'd post it earlier. But anyway...I hope this chapter was worth the wait...

He had started out being two minutes late. Two minutes turned to five minutes, and now five minutes was bordering ten. MC drummed her fingers on the back of her phone as she once again glanced at the doorway leading down to the bunker. When no redhead appeared, she checked her messages. Still nothing.

MC had visited Saeyoung's bunker exactly five times in the past two weeks. Each time, he greeted her in this very room where they remained for the rest of their brief meeting. But this time, she stood alone in the garage, her only company being his abundance of sports cars.

Her fingers acted on their own as she dialed his number. Again, no reply. She scuffed her shoe repeatedly against the concrete floor and leaned back onto her car. Jitters travelled through her arms and legs making it impossible to stay still. She would have started pacing at this point, but she knew if she let her restless legs have their way, she would walk straight down those stairs and find Saeyoung herself.

She sucked in a shallow breath in attempts to calm herself. She understood Saeran's mood fluctuated, and as a result, Saeyoung had a constant eye on his younger brother. Most likely, something came up…although, from what he told her, the last past week had been calmer than ever.

Nonetheless, the knots in her stomach tightened as she waited for that doorknob to move. She knew her anxiety was ridiculous and uncalled for, but logic did nothing to stop the web of scenarios unfurling in her brain.

Such as the agency rebounding in some vengeful plan, the prime minister finally tracing his sons and disposing of them, or, worst of all, Saeran snapping like he had at Mint Eye. All of those would lead to what? Saeyoung bleeding out on the floor, his hair mixed with blood and sweat…his body sprawled in a twisted angle…so pale…fragile…lifeless…

MC inhaled sharply, dragging her thoughts out from the depths of whatever hole they had plummeted. She slapped a hand over her mouth as a wave of nausea threatened to empty the contents of her small lunch. She steadied herself against the car. She hugged her stomach, lurching over and chasing one breath after another.

"What the heck?" she muttered.

Cold air penetrated through her thin jacket and danced across her skin. She shivered, and furiously rubbed her arms. It took her a few attempts to notice that the chill wasn't from the air conditioner.

"MC, I am so sorry!" Saeyoung's clear voice shot through air, and subsequently her head, absolving the gloomy atmosphere. She looked up to see him stumbling into the garage. He dusted something off his shirt, a pout resting on his face. The image quickly displaced the gruesome one that had invaded her head. "I was on the way up, and my phone died and then— "

His words fell flat when his eyes met hers. He didn't smile like he usually did. Instead, his lips pressed into a fine line, and his footsteps quickened. It was only now did MC realize she was still hunched over, despite the alleviation of her uneasiness.

She straightened herself just as he reached her. His fingers indented the skin on her arms, holding her in a tight but comforting grip. He studied her intently from behind his lenses, his focus hopping from one feature to the next, as if decoding her.

She hated the apprehension deepening the cracks in his already fragile brokenness. He was trying to heal while carrying so much on his shoulders…

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I just felt a bit queasy," she said, mustering a small smile. "It'll pass."

One side of Saeyoung's mouth slanted downwards in an unconvinced frown. He hummed before taking another step forward and cradling her in his arms. She savored the trickles of heat radiating off of his skin onto hers. She rested her head against his chest, her fingers curling around his shirt. "Are you sure you're okay? You look horrible."

"Oh, thanks," MC scoffed. "Is my beauty sleep not working?"

"Not what I meant," he amended. He rocked back and forth on his feet, pulling her into his little dance. A laugh spilled out of MC's mouth as he squeezed her and made a strange, strangled noise. "I was late to see you, you're not feeling good, and I accidentally insulted you. I'm a terrible boyfriend. How should I make it up to you?"

She wriggled in his hold, creating enough distance so she could look at him. "The second part isn't your fault, dummy."

He laughed, but she didn't miss the emptiness. Concern clouded his eyes, but thankfully, it didn't surface in an interrogation. He stepped away and stooped to the ground, his back facing her. "Get on," he prompted when she didn't move.

"Saeyoung, what about your shoulder?" she said, shying away.

He scooted after her. "My arm was wounded, not my shoulder. Besides, I can hold you up with one arm. I'm pretty strong, remember?"

With a diet of chips and soda, she had her doubts about his claim. But, in the end, she decided to trust the hacker and slowly climb onto his back. A small gasp slipped from her lips when he shot up to a standing position. Her arms clung tightly around his neck and shoulders as he began walking.

"So, there's two options," he said, pausing in the middle of the room. "Number one, I can do ten laps around the bunker as penance."

MC chuckled and shook her head. "Not necessary. What's the second option?"

The muscles on his back tightened at the question, and his hesitance came out in a few broken syllables. "Well…since you're not feeling good, it might be more comfortable if...you came downstairs?"

MC's smile faltered. "W-what? But—Saeran—Will he be okay with it?"

She hadn't visited the younger twin since the hospital. It's not that she didn't want to see him, but she couldn't deny that the last few encounters hadn't exactly gone perfectly. Saeyoung heaved a sigh and craned his head sideways to look at her. "He's been mellower lately. I've made a few short trips to the store, and he's been fine alone. To be honest, you probably won't see him since he's asleep. But if you're not comfortable—"

"No, no!" MC interrupted. Her throat was dry and her nerves still strung tightly, but she wanted to do this. "I—er—think it would be good. For all of us."

A smile so wide spread across Saeyoung's face that MC was sure her heart might burst. He didn't have to say it, but she knew what he was thinking. This could be a step forward—as a family. An unbidden rush of affection welled inside of her, and despite her doubts, she was determined to make the effort. For him.

"Okay!" Saeyoung called out, hitching her upwards once before practically jogging to the stairs.

"You're going to carry me?" she spluttered.

"I've had training," he said dismissively, taking the first step. His subsequent grunt was disconcerting. "Oh, I forgot to mention, there's someone else here you might like to see too."

MC swallowed hard as she wobbled on his back. "Y-yeah? Who's that?"

Saeyoung stopped at the bottom and kneed the button by the door. "The reason I was so late," he said, taking the initial step inside. The bunker was surprisingly cleaner since MC's last visit. However, the small coffee table was hidden under file folders and scattered papers. A man with brown hair tied back in a ponytail sat behind it, baiting an elated gasp from MC's lips.

"Miss Vanderwood!"

The older man started at the nickname, appearing disgruntled for a second before softening at the sight of her. "So that's why he disappeared," he said with a pointed glance towards Saeyoung. "It's good to see you, MC."

She kicked her legs in request to be let down, but Saeyoung didn't oblige. He ambled over to the couch before releasing her from his hold. The breath left her lungs until she landed on the soft cushions, and she glowered at her boyfriend who had the nerve to laugh. He sat down next to her, embracing her apologetically.

"Vanderwood showed up randomly and asked for some files," he explained, gesturing to the mess across the table.

Vanderwood nodded, his shoulders slouching forward. He slid a few pages into a binder before shutting it and adding it to a pile. "But now, I have everything I need. I'll leave tonight, and we'll enter the final stages."

"Then they'll be free?" MC asked. Saeyoung stiffened against her, betraying his own anxieties.

"Hopefully," Vanderwood answered. "Granted nothing goes wrong in the interim. But I doubt anything will. Their security isn't expecting me, and it'll take maybe two weeks or so."

"That's it?" MC said. It was hard to believe, and slightly unsettling, that one month was enough to hack into the country's national headquarters and erase an investigation file.

"Speed is a risk," Vanderwood admitted. His eyes shifted to Saeyoung in unspoken understanding. "But we've done things like this before."

The statement caused her to tense, despite the fact that she knew this. Her stomach twisted in remembrance of all those late night conversations where Saeyoung would be afraid of someone tapping the line or the agency discovering his hour break, even if he had been working days on end.

Saeyoung sighed, nudging her until they both tumbled horizontally onto the couch. Vanderwood jumped to his feet, a few files under his arm. "No, you don't, Seven. Get up and help me with this."

Saeyoung's petulant whine pierced MC's ear, and she winced. He gripped her middle and rested the side of his head onto hers. "But my girlfriend is here now. I can't ignore her."

Vanderwood pinched the bridge of his nose, and MC couldn't help but laugh at the huff wisping his long hair from his eyes. He continued to gather more files with a patience only achieved from being acclimated to the hacker's shenanigans. "I'd better see you with at least ten folders downstairs in three minutes, or I'll taze that smug smile right off your face."

Maybe not that much patience.

The redhead only chuckled at the threat. With one last eye roll, Vanderwood disappeared down the hall.

MC yelped at the sudden prod to her side, causing her to jerk onto her back. Saeyoung hovered over her, his cross necklace brushing against her collarbone. His mouth was curved in something that was not a smile, but not quite a frown. At this distance, she could see the dark circles sweeping underneath his eyes. "You look tired," she commented.

"So do you," he said, the pad of his thumb brushing her cheek. His calculative gaze fixated on her. She felt exposed and vulnerable to him in this position, but his eyes rooted her in place.

"Saeyoung, you should go," she whispered when they had been staring too long.

He leaned down, his lips trembling against hers in a reverent kiss. She tugged his collar, aching for more, but he withdrew himself. She regretted mentioning anything now.

"I'm sorry. Just give me ten minutes, and I promise I'll make up the time," he said before pushing himself off the couch and scooping up pale folders into his arms. "If you get antsy, you can go into whatever room you like—except my workroom."

She pursed her lips, sitting up to view the room in question. The wooden door was barred shut with a lock, and the doorknob required a passcode to enter. "What's in there?"

"Stuff," he replied, a cocky simper unravelling his face.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but he didn't budge. "You're infuriating," she said.

"Yeah, but you love me," he returned. She couldn't deny it. He cast her one last wink before taking the last of the files and joining Vanderwood downstairs.

MC flopped back onto her side, tucking one of the pillows under her head. Despite a steady six hours or more of sleep, she hadn't been truly relaxed since before Mint Eye. Without Saeyoung constantly watching through the CCTV, the apartment was vacant, leaving her feeling more like an intruder than a tenant—especially in the evenings. Even the passing cars and ticking clock couldn't quell the overwhelming silence at night.

But here…it was different. There was noise…the hum of monitors, the hiss of the fan above her, and the occasional creak of a nearby robot. There were different smells as well…the smell of cherry from the couch, sweet honey that always seemed to hang in the air, and just a tad bit of something savory. And yet, it was peaceful. It was all evidence of Saeyoung.

He was here, in this world, and somehow that reminder alone caused her limbs to loosen all at once. Soon enough, her eyelids grew too heavy to hold open and she succumbed to sleep.

Well, almost.

Heavy footsteps tumbled past her. Her eyes shot open just in time to see a tuft of white hair flash past into the kitchen. The sound of someone retching cast away her sluggishness. She swung her feet onto the ground and stumbled towards the kitchen. She pressed against the doorway, catching her breath.

Saeran was hunched over the garbage bin, his face pale and his knuckles white from gripping the ends. He spat into the can and wiped his lips with trembling fingers. He emitted a whimper before his body swayed to the side. His half-lidded eyes widened upon seeing her.

MC blinked a few times before her senses kicked in. "I-I'll get Saeyoung," she said, turning towards the hall.

Cold hands gripped her wrist and jerked her backwards. "Don't," Saeran pleaded, his voice gravelly and hoarse. "Not him. Just—not him."

He retracted his hold in a single snap, almost like her skin stung him. He leaned his elbow onto the counter, tears hanging perilously on his lashes. MC glanced away, feeling awkward witnessing him in such a fragile and vulnerable moment.

"Can I get you something?" she mumbled.

He shook his head, a flicker of cognizance rooting him back into reality. His eyes bore into the countertop, his fingers tracing the swirls of marble. The hush of his breaths wavered for a few frozen seconds, adjourned by a shaky sigh. He pushed himself onto his own feet, taking a few experimental steps.

MC blocked his way, and to her surprise, he didn't fight her. Instead, he just stood there, staring past her form. It was a stark contrast to the last time she'd seen him-aggressive and fiery. Sure, he had his calmer moments then, but right now… he was just lifeless. Lacking any resolution one way or another.

"At least let me get you something. Tea? Ginger candy?" she stammered. His brows twitched at her apparent nervousness. While her subconscious reminded her that she was standing defenseless in front of her former kidnapper, something else at the bottom of her heart wanted to push against it and draw closer despite the laws of logic and safety.

Saeran reached into his pocket and produced a mint. He lifted it between his two fingers before popping it into his mouth. MC flattened herself against the doorway so he could pass. She didn't follow, but her eyes trailed after him, observing his movements.

It was odd to see him walking normally. As "Unknown", he carried himself arrogantly, swaying more than stepping. Then at the hospital, his movements were restricted. Now…she saw Saeran—just plain Saeran—and she swore she could see shackles around his ankles.

His eyes darted to the side, meeting hers for a brief moment before he covered one side of his face with a hand. "Stop that," he growled.

There was that usual defensive aggression. MC tugged on her sleeve, her muscles tightening again. "You don't look so good," she commented. "Are you sure you don't need—"

"No!" he burst before flattening his palms against his legs. He steadied his breath. "Are you always this pushy?"

Agitation bristled under MC's skin at the harsh comment, but she suppressed it for his sake. "I'm just concerned. That's all."

He lifted his gaze to her, a scoff of unbelief rolling out with his next words. "Concerned? You? I—" he shook his head, another derisive chuckle cutting into the silence. "Why are you even here?"

"I was visiting Saeyoung," she explained, her voice wavering more than she would've liked. "He's downstairs."

He reclined onto the couch, the wrinkles on his forehead softening. "I'm surprised he let you this far. I thought he was locking you away like the rest of the glass in this house."

MC opened her mouth to protest, but she couldn't lie. Saeyoung had been acting as a barrier between the two of them until now. "He's just protective," she tried.

Bad choice of words. Saeran's fingers clenched his loose pants, bunching up the fabric until it quivered in his hold. "So, he still thinks I'm dangerous."

"No!" MC said, taking a step forward. His critical glance froze her in place and the truth came tumbling out with a series of nervous laughs. "W-well, you're still recovering, but you'll get better."

"Recovering," he echoed. His unblinking eyes focused on her. "That's another one of your sugar-coated lies, isn't it?"

Goosebumps travelled down her arms as something in his face shifted. It was almost as if someone else overtook him. In a flash, the softness she had seen moments before was gone. His eyes glazed over and his mouth hung open.

"Everything will be better," he said. His tone was light, but so void of any spirit. "He said that too. Liar. Everything's getting worse."

MC stilled her quavering lip. "How?"

He flinched at the question, as if suddenly remembering her presence. "What?"

"How is it getting worse?" she challenged, hoping he would see the light in his shifting life. "You're out of the hospital. You're stronger, you have a place to live, and your brother is devoting everything into seeing you get well. How is that getting worse?"

He met her gaze equally. For a long time, silence enveloped the room. It was thick…tangible even until finally Saeran broke. "The Prime Minister is looking for us, isn't he?" he said. "That's proof enough that my life only gets worse."

MC stumbled back at the statement. He wasn't supposed to know. She bit her tongue, afraid the conflict between truth and fear would make the wrong thing slip. "Why would you say that?"

"I'm not stupid," Saeran tore his eyes away from her, choosing instead to pour his attention into the table. "Luciel's old assistant isn't here for a friendly visit, no matter what he says. Besides, I found some strange documents in the computer room."

He paused, his teeth worrying down on his chapped lips. "And," he began, his voice catching. "The initial trace is my fault, isn't it? Back at—that place when I spread the data."

MC bit her tongue before a swear flew into the already tense atmosphere. She wanted to deny it. She wished she could dispel the shame so clearly marking his eyes with a single, white lie. But she couldn't. This wasn't a fairy tale. "I'm sorry," she said.

A warped smile curved his mouth. "Even now you can't give me the straight truth," he said. He inhaled sharply and wiped his hands against his pants. He stood to his feet and shook his head.

He stepped towards her, an unsettling calm darkening his features as he locked onto her with calculating eyes. They pierced her brain, reminding her of a day that felt so long ago involving a broken window, shattered glass, and a bomb threat ringing in the air. With every step he took, shocks of fear coursed through her veins and constricted her throat. "Wh-what are you doing?" she said.

He towered over her, his green eyes staring down with a surprising calm. He stood so close that she could smell the mint coming off his breaths. "I should never have picked you," he said. "If it weren't for you, none of this would've happened. Luciel would've been dead, and I wouldn't be here. This is all your fault."

Saeran's words were gentle, full of remorse rather than hatred and yet they struck her deeply. A gulp scraped down her throat. Her mouth was so dry but somehow, she gathered enough courage to speak. "I know you can't see it now, but this is a start of a better life. Now, you can let go of the past...of Mint Eye and Rika—"

Saeran recoiled at the name, and MC knew she should've stayed silent. He gripped her arms, his nails digging into her skin. "Don't mention that name! Don't you dare mention that cursed name!"

He shook her roughly, and panic wrenched a scream from her throat. He released her, and her back slammed against the wall in her own attempt to get away. Her legs gave out, and she crumpled to the ground. Saeran remained in place, his chest caving in when he exhaled. She expected to see anger on his face, but instead she found a deep-seated anguish. It seemed like Rika didn't have a hold on him anymore…

"I wasn't going to—" he began, but thudding footsteps interrupted him. Saeyoung dashed into the room, Vanderwood in tow behind him.

"I heard shouting," he panted. His eyes shifted back and forth between the two of them, and a spark of realization flitted across his features. MC's heart shattered when his face fell.

Saeran staggered backwards suddenly before pivoting on his heel and disappearing into the next room. Vanderwood held a hand up to Saeyoung before trailing after the younger twin. Meanwhile, the redhead turned to her.

His gaze softened, and it was only now did MC realize how badly she was shaking. He knelt in front of her, and she broke. "I'm sorry," she said, unable to keep her voice steady. "My stupid mouth—we were just, and I said—"

Saeyoung shushed her, tucking her hair behind her ear. His hand lingered on her cheek. "It's okay," he sighed. "If anything, I went too fast. I thought…I thought he was ready."

MC wanted to cry. Any ounce of light he had in his eyes early was completely gone. He had hoped this was it. That this was maybe the start of their family, and of course, it didn't work out. She messed up. She should've just gotten him when Saeran first woke up. But she just thought she could fix things, didn't she?

A flick to the head tugged her out of her thoughts. Saeyoung cupped her shaking hands in his and kissed her wrists. "Hey, I know what you're thinking, so stop. I think…today was just a bad day. Let's just…try again after some time."

It was odd hearing him be the more cheerful one. She cleared her throat in attempts to loosen the chokehold fear had on it. "Um, I should probably go. You need to go to him."

He stood, helping her up with him. "I'll check on him and then I'll drive you home while Vanderwood is here. We can figure out cars later."

She shut her eyes and released the tense breath in her lungs. "No, Saeyoung, he needs you. He knows…About your father."

She hated doing that to him. She hated watching his shoulders slump forward as yet another burden was thrown onto them. He ran his fingers through his hair, and she didn't miss the swear he barely muffled. "I'll figure it out," he said, pulling her into a hug. "But I'm still driving you home."

Despite her earlier protest, she couldn't refuse in the safety of his arms. His stillness emphasized even her trembling body… her own instability…how she could feel herself cracking under the weight of the past two months. She wanted desperately to be the support Saeyoung needed in order to bring this family together, but how long until she crumbled herself?

Saeyoung released her only to quickly check on his brother before returning with car keys in hand. As he moved out of the doorway, MC and Saeran locked eyes again. It was just a moment, but she could see the redness in his eyes…the guilt…the sadness…and she felt it too.

And as she followed Saeyoung back into the garage, the prior conversation settled in her mind. Maybe Saeran was right after all. Things were getting worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh nooo, what's happening to our bright MC? And Saeran knows about his dad, so now what? Hmm... 
> 
> Anyway, hope you liked the MC and Saeran interaction, even if it was less pleasant than before. Hey...families have problems at some point or another, right? Haha...
> 
> Thank you so much for being patient, and I always love hearing your thoughts:) I'll be back next week with a (hopefully on time) update! Until then, we...go back to waiting another month for a V route together. Yay!


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung tries to start fixing things and there's discussions about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is a scheduled update? Lol...anywho, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter:)

Saeyoung's fingers drummed against the steering wheel, the only sound in the deathly silent car. He pulled into a parking spot of the dimly lit garage and parked, lurching forward from the sudden stop. Still silence. He shut off the ignition, his keys clanging together as they fell onto his lap. "Okay, what's wrong?"

MC started in the passenger seat. She turned towards him, eyes bleary and cheeks streaked with evidence of poorly hidden tears. "What?" she croaked.

"You haven't said a word this whole trip," he said, chin jerking to the open window. Her eyes widened as she realized they had already arrived.

"Oh," was all she said. One of her hands clasped the edge of her shirt, and Saeyoung didn't miss the other lingering on the door handle. It was as if she dreaded stepping outside.

He chewed on his bottom lip before reaching out for her hand. He winced when she tensed under his touch. "Did Saeran…say something to you? You know he's just dealing with some things, and he probably didn't-"

Her jaw clenched, and he saw a glimpse of her gritted teeth before she snapped her hand away. "That's not it," she said. The car door came open with a click, and she swung her legs outside. "Nevermind, I'll see you later. Thanks for the ride."

He let his head fall against the seat for half a moment. He shut his eyes and prayed for the strength he knew he would need to even begin confronting the stubborn girl. He climbed out of the car, locking it behind his shoulder before jogging after her.

"MC," he said, his voice echoing in the spacious garage. "You don't think I'm just leaving you like that, right?"

"I'm fine, Saeyoung," she waved him off, not sparing him a glance while she entered the building.

With a frustrated groan, he chased her through the numerous halls. Their eyes met just as she entered the elevator, and she slapped one of the buttons, closing the doors before he could get close. "You little sneak," he grumbled.

However, worry was enough to keep his growing frustration at bay. MC didn't run often. She was an open person, her feelings brazenly shown across her heart to those she cared about-even if the truth behind them was painful to swallow. Most likely, that was where she went wrong with Saeran. The younger twin wasn't accustomed to truth. As much as he claimed to want it, he denied ever ounce of truth thrown at him…but that was another issue.

Fueled by adrenaline, Saeyoung detoured to the stairs. He summoned strength from his old training and clambered up flight after flight, jumping stairs at intervals. His lungs were spent by the time he reached the familiar little hallway. He leaned against the banister to catch his breath. MC was already at the door, but she hadn't gone inside yet.

Her fingers fretted over the buttons, unable to properly key in the password on the doorknob. She swore under her breath several times, her fist slamming against the door with increasingly desperate attempts.

He padded behind her. MC froze when his hand grazed against the small of her back. "Saeyoung, you have to go home," she said. Her voice was composed, but her resumed punching at the buttons betrayed her scattered emotions.

Saeyoung slid his hand over hers and removed them from the knob with ease. Her skin was cold. He kneaded her palms with his thumbs in attempt to warm them.

"You're shaking," he commented. Her eyes darted sideways before she tried withdrawing her arm again. He didn't let her go, instead locking her wrist to his chest and continuing his ministrations.

Saeyoung didn't have her knack for saying the right thing at the right time. He didn't have her ability to break internal walls with a simple touch. He wasn't sure he could actually be helpful at all. But he wasn't about to leave her like this…guilt pooling in her eyes from a burden she shouldn't even have been carrying.

So he waited, watching as her fury trickled away drop by drop, slowly revealing the sadness she hid underneath. The problem with someone as caring as her was that eventually, those emotions took a heavy toll. But he could always see them…she buried them well, but not from him.

"Saeran didn't do anything," she said after a while. "He frightened me, but I was just…on edge. It was my fault. I said something stupid."

Saeyoung kissed her fingertips. He wasn't sure MC could manage to say anything in malice. "I'm sure it wasn't."

"It was," she snapped, her eyes finally meeting his in a steely gaze. "Don't try to excuse me either. I was being rash and stupid and—I just really don't want to talk about it now."

He inhaled deeply, his breath getting caught with his words. For a moment, he thought he might press her, but the tears she was so obviously trying to hold back silenced him.

He drew his teeth along his lip. He wished people were easy to fix like robots. Every part had a place, and there was always a tool to mend it together. People were messier. Emotions weren't so neatly cut, and when feelings clashed, the outcome was unpredictable.

But there was one thing people and robots had in common. When something was broken, it needed to be fixed one way or another, or everything would eventually collapse under the strain.

"MC," he said so quietly, he barely felt the name pass his throat. He swallowed, his nerves crackling under the weight of his next words. "It's not just what happened with Saeran, is it? I've been noticing things, and…are you okay?"

Her shoulders scrunched to her ears, and she leaned back against the door. "I told you I'm fine. Just tired."

Her brittle voice contradicted her statement. Saeyoung's temper threatened to snap with the rough puff of air from his mouth, but he hurriedly composed himself.

MC never hid things, but she, as a person, was an ocean. It was as if she had a secret always buried deep within her, waiting to be discovered in the open depths. It was enrapturing, really, and Saeyoung was always drawn to the pursuit of it, knowing it would be warm, welcoming, and probably breathtaking.

But this was different. She was throwing up a mask of being okay…being normal, when there was clearly turmoil raging behind those glassy eyes. And the worst part was that she was concealing it from him.

Well, he wasn't having it.

For the second time that hour, he was thankful for his skills as an agent. He trained his eyes on her, scanning her entire body. He placed a hand on her waist. "You're thinner these past few weeks," he pointed out. He trailed down and picked up her hand. "You have a lot of papercuts from working late—"

"That's not indicative of working long," she interrupted.

"Your bruises are swollen," he added with a raised brow. She had nothing to say this time. "Your eyes are puffy and red from lack of sleep, and your lips are raw from chewing on them, you can't even keep your hand still for longer than five seconds—"

"Stop that!" she burst, her voice cracking on the last syllable. Her eyes flayed him with disapproval. Those dangling tears now freely rolled down her face, each one a sharp whip to his chest, but he didn't waver.

Saeyoung gripped her arms before she could step back further. "Then tell me what's wrong," he said. He rested his forehead against hers, his hot skin trembling against her coolness. He softened his voice, unable to be harsh towards her any longer. "Please."

Her mouth pressed together in a fine line of resolution, and another excuse was formulating beyond her wandering eyes. But in the end, she broke. Her breaths came out in fragments, and teardrops continually formed on her dark lashes, dropping onto his exposed wrists.

Watching her like this was torture, but Saeyoung forced himself to hold his ground. He wasn't letting her self-destruct.

"I'm not lying," she confessed brokenly. She detached herself from him only to shove her face inside his jacket. "I'm tired and exhausted, and…scared."

He swallowed thickly, afraid of his own voice. "Of what?" he croaked.

"Of the future," she said, her words tumbling out raw and painfully honest. "Of everything getting to me before there even is one."

There was another implication behind the statement. Yet, Saeyoung couldn't bear to uncover it at the risk of her further heartache. He knew in due time, it would rise again, but not now…she didn't need that now.

He was fatigued and weak, but he wrapped his arms around her and held her with a strength he didn't know he possessed. She shook against him, only beckoning him to cling tighter. He would give anything to make her pain stop…to return the misplaced brilliance in the once naïve girl who followed a stranger's instructions simply to return a phone.

His fingers secured themselves in her hair, caressing the back of her head. "I know you, MC. You are the strongest person I know," he said. His words were tremulous and uneven, but he felt each one deep in the pit of his chest. "Whatever happens…I know you'll get through it, because I intend to be right there with you. Even at your worst."

Her only response was a series of sobs, each one sending shocks of pain through Saeyoung's ribs. He tried to focus on the ground instead. The grey carpet awakened vivid memories of those early days-back when he was trying to create a barrier between himself and MC. He was terrified of her then. That determination she possessed was always contagious, and looking at her was enough to conquer the world.

Maybe it was enough to conquer this too.

"Hey," he said quietly. He pushed her back, wiping away the damp strands of hair from her face. "Do you remember our conversation in this very hallway?"

She narrowed her eyes, half affronted and half confused at the sudden switch in demeanor. "What?"

Saeyoung stepped back and sat on the floor a little away from the door. He patted his lap, and MC reluctantly lowered herself onto it. "Just like this," he explained. His arms fell loosely around her. "You had finally convinced me to make one of the best decisions of my life."

Remembrance unfurled in her features, and a watery chuckle accompanied her next words. "Oh, you mean to let others in?"

"That too," he said, adding a chuckle of his own. He laced his fingers with hers, just like he had that night. "I meant…the decision to accept your feelings—and my own."

A small blush dusted her cheeks. She ducked her head and turned away. His finger slipped under her chin, guiding her face back to his. "From that moment, my mind hasn't stopped planning our future. I've thought about it every night since then."

"You told me something similar at the cabin before we left to find your brother," she said.

Saeyoung smiled at the memory. It wasn't pleasant then, with the prospects of death draping over them. "I didn't want to tell you details because I was scared something would happen. But nothing did."

All the initial inhibition from his antics melted away. She readjusted herself on his lap, snuggling into the crook of his neck. She nuzzled her nose against the underside of his jaw, and Saeyoung was glad no one lived on this floor. "What's your point in all this?"

He inhaled sharply before resting a hand on her waist. "I want to open a toy shop," he said finally. MC's lashes swept up, and she blinked quizzically.

"I want to quit hacking and open up a toy shop," he went on. "We can have it in town, away from the bunker—or house eventually. I'll work decent hours, be home in the evenings. I'll help you cook dinner, and afterwards we can just do nothing together."

Excitement swirled through his veins at the small curve of her mouth. "Is Saeran there?" she asked.

He nodded vigorously. "Of course," he said. Heat pricked his ears, but it didn't stop him from leaning forward. "He'll be the perfect uncle to the ten smaller humans running around."

Her eyes went wide. "Ten?" she squeaked.

"Eight," he settled with a shrug. He was solemn for a moment longer, delighting in the panicked expression overtaking his girlfriend's face as well as the unconscious grip on her lower abdomen. He gave in to the laughter tickling his throat. Relief washed over MC when she realized he was teasing, and he couldn't help but crush her in his arms. "You look so cute when you're flustered."

"Saeyoung," she said, her tone turning serious. Her lips parted without releasing a breath. Her fingers traced the outline of his face, and her eyes poured unspoken adoration upon him, making him wonder how he got so lucky. "I want that to be true."

And there was that fear along with the implicit doubt. His hold on her hips tightened. "It will be," he emphasized. "No matter what it takes to get there, or how broken we get on the way, it will happen. I did promise, right?"

Her response was unreadable, and her touch turned from gentle to hesitant. Saeyoung's heart slowly sunk in each second of silence. Was she that unhappy?

MC hummed slightly. "I don't know," she said. "I didn't hear any mention of a cat, and that's not acceptable."

With a singular joke, she was herself again. The fear had gone, the specks of light had returned to those beautiful eyes, and her laugh rung in his ears like music. Her amusement was contagious, and he found himself joining along. He yanked her against his chest, murmuring "I love you's" into her shoulder. He knew this battle was just beginning, but he'd learn to take things in moments.

Her hand gripped the fabric near the back of his neck. "Thank you," she said.

He wished he could hold her like this forever, but he knew better. Saeran was still waiting at home, no doubt sinking deeper into his dark thoughts with every second.

As if reading his thoughts, MC pulled back, though her arms still hung around him. "You really should get back," she said. He hated the returning sadness in her eyes. He couldn't have that…

Mischief creeped back into Saeyoung's limbs. Her body obeyed the pressure of his fingers on her hips, leaning her closer to him. Just before their noses touched, he swerved to the side and dug his teeth into her shoulder, letting out a small growl. She yelped and shoved him away.

"Saeyoung! What was that for?" she scolded, rubbing the sore spot and scrunching her nose at the moisture from the bite.

He tapped her nose. "You closed the elevator door on me earlier," he said. He clicked his tongue. "Can't tolerate meanness."

Without warning, he swooped back to her shoulder. He attacked with less vigor, littering her neck with kisses more than bites. She squirmed in his arms, but her squealed protests were riddled with joy. That's all he needed to hear.

After he was done with his torture, he rested against the wall, and she hopped off of him with a childish giggle. They climbed to their feet, and a heaviness fell between them at the impending separation.

Not wanting it to make it more painful with passing time, Saeyoung pecked her cheek. "I'll call you later, okay?" he said, already turning. "And let me know if you need to talk."

Her hand hooked into his arm, and dragged him backwards. MC's glance flickered to his lips, and she suddenly looked very meek compared to the woman who marched across the garage less than an hour before. "You can't leave without giving me a proper kiss," she said, her voice lilting slightly.

She was trying to be flirtatious, and normally she succeeded, but currently she was failing miserably. Perhaps it was the sadist in him, but he sauntered forward, towering over her.

"Oh?" he said, purposely crooning. "I guess you're right."

He had to give it to her. She met his gaze coolly, despite the redness patching her cheeks. He tilted her chin upwards and inched forward. Their lips grazed against each other's, and she inhaled sharply at the contact.

"Cute," he whispered. He cupped her face and planted a soft kiss against her mouth.

He moved away, but she grabbed his shirt and pulled him right back. As usual, she was the puppet master in control of his heart, and he melted into her with more zeal than before. Without breaking the kiss, he rested his hands on her hips, walking her backwards until her back hit the door and his body pressed against hers.

Saeyoung was always more inclined to savory tastes, but MC would always be an exception. He savored her sweetness…how it was familiar yet different in every kiss…how it filled him with euphoria…how it made his heart pang in its absence…and how stupidly lovesick it made him.

He gasped when it was snatched away. MC chuckled, casting an apologetic glance for pulling away so abruptly.

"Saeran is waiting," she reminded.

He nodded, pressing one last peck to her forehead. He punched in the numbers on the door, and she slid inside the apartment with a farewell smile. Leaving her was so hard…

Saeyoung shoved his hands into his pockets and headed down the elevator. His phone vibrated when he exited on the bottom floor, and he answered.

"Hey, you're planning to come back any time soon?" Vanderwood's gruff voice asked.

"I'm on my way," Saeyoung said. He bit his lip. "Why? Is Saeran okay?"

"Oh, he's fine actually," the man replied. "Quiet…but calm."

Saeyoung sighed in relief, though he doubted "quiet" was a good thing this time. He pressed the phone harder to his ear. "Then why are you rushing me?"

Vanderwood sucked air between his teeth, and Saeyoung dreaded the words that followed. "You left the apartment CCTV feed on and…well, with what I was seeing, I just wasn't sure if you'd make it back—"

Saeyoung ended the call, his face blazing. "Stupid pervert," he muttered while he climbed into his car.

He pursed his lips as fingers traced the leather wheel. A sudden wave of exhaustion hit him, causing him to slouch in his seat. He lifted his eyes to the roof of his car.

"This pain is going to end soon, right?" he moaned. He could hear Jaehee screaming at his lackadaisical prayer, but right now he was alone in his car and desperately in need of some sort of comfort.

There was no answer. But he supposed prayers took time to answer, and his probably warranted a longer wait.

As much as hated the negativity creeping into his thoughts, he couldn't restrain the sickening anxiety twisting his stomach as he set course for home. He really needed those prayers to be answered soon…for all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After writing this I realized that there's barely been any chapters with mostly Saeyoung and MC talking together. Oi...give these kiddos a break. Hope you enjoyed the sprinkle of fluff though:) They still got some things to tie up before they tie that knot;) 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for all your feedback so far! I always love hearing from you guys and reading your thoughts on everything. And Good luck to everyone starting school this week~ See you soon.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC's visit to see Yoosung backfires...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead, I promise. Sorry about the scattered updates. The fic is winding down, so chapters are taking a bit longer. Hope you like it though:)

MC questioned her sanity as she stood at the doorstep of V's old apartment, hair damp from the drizzling rain and boots squeaking under her feet. With some difficulty, she maneuvered the two bags of food weighing down her arms and rang the buzzer. She swallowed when the door clicked, allowing her entrance.

She climbed the stairs as slowly as possible. When she had offered to bring some food to help Yoosung while he was caring for his sick cousin, she hadn't completely comprehended the idea that she would have to face said sick cousin.

She had been too consumed with keeping herself busy since she couldn't see Saeyoung all week. Saeran had grown more distant since….well, since her last visit. Despite her boyfriend's attempts to comfort her, guilt twisted her insides and the potency of his encouragements faded with his absence. Her conscience was brutal company inside that empty apartment, replaying the same scene over and over again along with degrading commentary. She was tired, and she welcomed any distraction.

Shoving her thoughts aside, she refocused on the task at hand. Drop the food and leave, she told herself. The door was already open when she arrived. To her surprise, a tall man with long white hair waited for her at the entrance.

"MC," Zen said, leaning against the doorpost donning his signature grin. "We always seem to run into each other, huh?"

MC let out something between a sigh and a laugh. Relief washed over her entire body taking her energy with it. She lowered the bags to the ground where Zen promptly took them. "I—er—dropped them off for Yoosung."

"Yeah, he told me," Zen replied, peeking through the paper bags before setting them on the coffee table. He beckoned her inside, and she involuntarily shrunk away.

"Oh, no," she waved a hand. "I should probably go. I have some—er-things."

Zen's brows twitched downwards as he propped his hands on his hips. "Please? Just stay for a little while. Apparently, the trust fund kid is stopping in to check on Yoosung, and I can't handle him alone."

A refusal hung on her lips, but she couldn't find a proper excuse to decline. Besides, was she really avoiding her friends to save herself from a few seconds of potential awkwardness?

"A-alright," MC replied, already removing her shoes. The place was emptier, albeit cleaner, than last time. V's photographs were piled in the corner, but his plants were gone and the walls were bared. It was as if the grave had swept up his belongings after their owner was lowered into the ground.

Zen shoved his hands into his pockets, and his eyes sparkled as if seeing a different scene before them. "Sometimes I still can't believe he's gone," he said almost inaudibly.

But his sadness was felt. It was the same sadness that drifted from all the RFA members—even Saeyoung—when the mint-haired man was mentioned. His name was like death itself, hushing an entire room at its presence and demanding an odd sort of reverence despite the melancholy that followed in its wake.

MC cleared her throat, disquieted by the haunting atmosphere. "Where is Yoosung anyway?"

Zen blinked out of his stupor. "He stepped out a bit ago. He took Rika out on the building's balcony for some fresh air."

MC resisted the urge to flinch at the woman's name. It was another that evoked strong emotions from all the members—some positive and some negative. Not wanting to dwell on her, MC inhaled sharply and faced the older man. "I assume you're here to check on Yoosung too."

He hummed, a serious expression overtaking his usual carefree attitude. "Well, that's one of the things that brought me here today," he said. His eyes drifted to a small stack of papers on the table.

"What's the rest?" MC said.

He took a breath as if to answer, but it stuck in his throat. His shoulders shifted as silence prodded a response. "Just…some other decisions. But, mainly…isn't it time he went back to school? He's unhappy here, no matter what he says."

MC raked her fingers through her ponytail, detangling the wet knots. "Of course, I agree," she said. She'd been thinking the same since she was first informed about Yoosung's leave of absence. "But, he's so devoted to his cousin."

"Exactly," Zen sighed and rested on the curve of the couch. There was an imperativeness in the way he drummed his fingers against the fabric. He pursed his lips, his gaze once again wandering to the coffee table.

This time MC followed, barely deciphering the words "Alaska" and "Therapy" on a green brochure. A frown yanked at her mouth as the puzzle pieces of a new secret dangled in her mind. "Zen, are you planning something?"

He jumped at the question, arms crossing over his chest. He shook his head, and if MC didn't remember he was an actor, she would've believed him.

"No," he insisted when she raised a brow. He rolled his eyes, letting out a surrendered huff. "I can't say I'm not thinking about taking action. It's just-don't you think the RFA is stuck?"

"Stuck?" MC said. "Now that everything is over, it can move forward."

Zen's hands fell to his side, and he pursed his lips. "Interesting you said 'over' instead of 'resolved'. We still have secrets, and some of us—if not all—have to heal. I don't know everything that's going on, but I know that Yoosung isn't going to get better as long as Rika needs help. And neither are the rest of you judging by your weird reactions to her."

MC sucked in a breath, but there was nothing to say. Zen was right. As long as Rika was present, the RFA remained fragile as glass. She was the epitome of the mysteries shrouding the small group friends. And for those who knew the truth, she was a constant memory of what had happened. The betrayal…the hurt…the lies…

Besides, if she required a caretaker, even she must've been wounded.

"Anyway," Zen continued, drawing her from her spiraling thoughts. His eyes flitted over MC, hesitance veiling his confident air. "I've had no luck convincing Yoosung yet. But maybe, if you have time, you could talk to him?"

A lump formed in her throat at the returning prospect of stumbling upon Rika. But despite the dread diffusing into her body, she wanted to try-for Yoosung.

"Yeah, maybe," MC said, unable to steady her voice no matter how much she tried calming her fraying nerves with logic. Rika suffered some mental instability and had become mostly mute. So why was she so anxious?

MC inched towards the adjacent couch, her fingers brushing the rough exterior for comfort. She lifted her gaze from the ground and found Zen studying her form with perceiving scrutiny. "MC, is something wrong?"

She shook her head a little too quickly. "No, I told you before. I'm just tired. I've been working late, looking through classified documents and old guest lists. Anything to get more accustomed to the inner workings of the RFA."

Zen slipped onto the chair, his hands folding together. He bowed his head, and reluctance filled the space between them. "You're continuing with the RFA then?"

"Yes, definitely," MC replied. She sat across from him, and her uneasiness fed off the ghost of a scowl on his face. "I know it's a lot to live up to, but I'm willing to try my best—"

His eyes snapped up to hers, and a blush flourished on his cheeks. "Oh, no! I didn't mean that I'm upset about it! Actually, I'm glad you decided to officially stay. You've been through…a lot because of us. It's a miracle actually. It's just…"

"The secrets?" she finished. One glance from him was enough confirmation. She licked her lips and wiped her palms against the rough fabric of her jeans. "You know I'm on your side, right?"

He emitted a groan in the back of his throat. "I'm not suspecting you, MC. I just—why is there a need for them? We saw what happened before-"

"I know!" MC burst, startling the older man. She sighed, her temper rising more towards her own inability to spill everything than Zen's insistency. "I want to tell you—and Yoosung. Really, I do! But not all of the secrets are mine to tell."

Zen's jaw clenched and he nodded. "It's Saeyoung's, right?"

"Partially," MC hesitated. Everything that happened with the RFA was so intricately tied to Saeyoung and Saeran, it wouldn't feel right to expose them without their consent. "It's more complicated than that. But I'm sure things won't stay hidden for long."

Zen deflated against the couch. MC watched him remain painfully quiet. She wished he would yell at her or scream—just something more extreme than the disappointment shadowing his features.

"Is that a promise or avoidance?" he muttered.

"A bit of both," she admitted.

"I don't get it," he said, weariness weighing his words. "But I'll accept it."

He flashed her a grimace before shuffling the papers in front of him. She didn't miss how he discreetly slipped the green brochure away. The action stung, and MC knew it served as an exchange. One secret held for another.

While she despised the unresolved tension, the brochure was the last thing on her mind when she heard the click of the door. She'd forgotten why she came in the first place.

It might have been the breeze from the hallway, but a chill skittered down MC's back at the approaching footsteps. She rubbed her arms furiously as goosebumps prickled her hairs. Zen's posture straightened, only confirming her suspicion.

"Yoosung," he called, waving his hand over to the sitting area. "There's someone here you'll like to see."

MC swallowed against her coarse throat before turning. She forced a smile despite the trepidity wrapping around her limbs, making her stiff and disjointed.

She was glad her gaze fell on Yoosung first. Her name tumbled off his lips, and she was swept into his embrace before she understood what was happening. A trickle of warmth fanned across her cold skin. He pulled back, though his kindness still kindled her heart.

"Sorry, I must've startled you," he chuckled. His eyes sparkled with unwavering optimism, but there was a lingering sadness deep inside his bright soul.

"Nonsense," MC cooed. "You can hug me anytime."

"Good," he replied, assuming the offer immediately. His hold was so weak. MC's heart cracked under it, his grief and confusion leaking into her. She wished she could keep her arms around him until everything healed, but it didn't work like that. He released her with a small gasp. "Oh, I should help Rika get settled. One sec, MC."

Just like that, her blood ran cold. Yoosung returned into the room, this time with a woman on his arm. MC braced herself, but something told her it wouldn't be enough.

After nearly a month, she found herself confronting those sparkling green eyes.

Her fingers reacted first, tremoring against her side. Then her throat followed suit, closing against the memories of suffocating incense and the intense fear of being alone with death or worse looming ahead. MC could still recall the guile lacing her sweet words…how she wanted to "cleanse" her just like the other disciples.

Then there were her screams….the agonized cries as Rika wept over V's bleeding body. The chaos that accompanied them…

Something brushed MC's shoulder, tugging her back to reality. Zen raised his hands in surrender, and she realized she must've recoiled. "Sorry," she said, acutely aware of her escalating heartbeat. "I must've blanked out."

The white-haired man narrowed his eyes, but thankfully, didn't comment on her behavior. He cleared his throat. "It's fine. Yoosung just asked you a question."

"Sorry," she apologized again. With a painful effort, she tore her eyes away from Rika, fixating them on Yoosung. She felt embarrassed now, as the woman didn't even seem to recognize her. In fact, she was different from their last encounter. A haze hovered over her entire countenance, making MC wonder if she was remotely cognizant of her environment.

MC was just overreacting. Her lack of sleep probably caught up to her and messed with her head. At least…she hoped.

Yoosung dismissed the incident with a wave before leading Rika onto the seat next to MC. He took his place across from them. "I was just asking about you and Saeyoung. I haven't seen either of you since…the funeral."

MC cleared her throat, ignoring the silky fabric of Rika's dress against her shoulder. "Um, Saeyoung's okay," she said. "He's busy."

Yoosung nodded. "And you?" he said. "I know you had some kind of treatment in the hospital too."

MC held up both wrists. Her sleeves slid down a little, revealing the faint marks of black and blue. "Bruised, still, but getting better. Actually, I wanted to ask how you were-"

A hand wrapped around MC's forearm, snatching any words from her mouth. Slowly, she trailed her gaze to its owner until she and Rika locked eyes. For a frightening heartbeat, MC was back in Mint Eye, the scent of spices winding around her throat and convincing her lungs there was no more air.

She jerked her hand away from those frigid fingers, ramming it into her own ribs. "Don't-," she bit down on her tongue before her harshness lashed out. A shiver ran down her spine, reminding her of her surroundings.

Yoosung started in his seat, his eyes wide and so…so innocent. "Oh! Did she touch your wound?"

She's the reason for them, MC thought wryly. "No!" she said aloud. "She just startled me is all."

The blond relaxed into his seat with relieved sigh. "She's very quiet, so it can be sudden when she moves like that."

The levity of his words did nothing to alleviate the hectic rhythm of her pulse. MC strained for both a smile and a breath. She controlled her reflex when Rika took her arm again with a surprisingly gentle hold. But wasn't she as delicate at Mint Eye?

MC gnawed at her lip as her cool palm grazed against the purple skin. Then, there came a laugh so small, it could've been mistaken for a hiccup. She tilted her head as if to get a better view of MC, that distant smile cemented on her lips. She patted the wound, sending throbs echoing down her arm.

"You…" Rika whispered. MC wasn't sure if she now recognized her, or if the woman was seeing something else entirely. But with every second she stared into those eyes, her clarity of mind was slipping.

MC clenched her teeth as panic surged through her. Half of her mind comprehended Zen and Yoosung's presence, the other half once again transported her back into Mint Eye.

"MC," Yoosung drawled. Why did his voice sound so far? "Are you okay?"

The walls caved inwards, and air siphoned out of her lungs too quickly. All the while, there was that face…that sweet face with the unblinking stare.

MC shot to her feet. "I-I'm sorry, Yoosung. I don't—um—"

Her mind went to shambles. Her thoughts bounced from past to present, and her friends' concerned questions only mingled with fragmented memories of that horrible place. Spasms assailed her wrists, but she wasn't sure if they were real or imagined. She was faintly aware of someone calling her name, but her head was screaming to get away. So, she did.

She half fled down the stairs and back out into the open street. Rain pelted against her exposed skin, and she gasped at the sudden drop in temperature. She ignored the stares of strangers as she stumbled towards her car and climbed into the passenger street.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to breath…trying to concentrate. Fear drenched her in its torrents, dashing away any attempts her mind had left of forming a coherent thought. What was wrong with her?

Cold air rushed through the car, and MC yelped when someone grabbed her arms. She fought against her attacker, kicking and hitting but they had a tight grip—or she was just weak. She couldn't tell.

"MC! Stop it! It's just me!" Zen shouted, cutting through her craze and finally rooting her back into reality. She took in his worried face for a split second before her panic took its toll.

Tears spilled onto her cheeks, and unbidden sobs wrested from her mouth. Her body shuddered, and she curled inwards to hide the crumbling pieces. It was cold. So cold…and then it wasn't.

Zen's arms wrapped around her. His jacket was slick from the rain and his wet hair stuck to her face. But he held her tightly, providing the support she desperately needed to grapple with her splintering mind.

"I'm so sorry!" she hiccupped. "I don't know what happened. I just—And Yoosung! I didn't mean to—"

He shushed her before distancing himself enough to take her hands. Despite his current state, they were warmer than hers. "Don't worry about that," he said. "Just tell me what's wrong?"

MC's bottom lip quivered at the question, mostly because she didn't know. There was the jumpiness…and anxiety…and the inability to think straight some days. Her stomach wrenched at the thought that her fears were coming true. She was falling apart faster than she could pick up the pieces.

Another gust of wind struck her when the back doors opened. A man with a three-piece suit slid inside the car.

"What the heck?" Zen spluttered, voicing her exact her thoughts.

Jumin calmly brushed his blazer as he didn't enter without notice. "I just arrived. I saw you kneeling by the car, and thought something was wrong," he said. His grey eyes turned to MC, regarding her state with something akin to puzzlement. "Why is she crying?"

Zen shook his head. "I don't know. Rika came in, and she just freaked out."

"Rika?" Jumin said before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Of course."

MC swallowed, her stomach churning while they talked about her as if she wasn't present. Was she? Her brain seemed to be stuck in another time and place. Still, she removed her hands from Zen's. "I'm just exhausted," she said, half-reasoning with herself.

"I don't think so," Zen interjected, his lips skewed in a frown. His stern, brotherly gaze probed her. "That was not exhaustion. That was…I don't know. You looked terrified of her!"

He was right, and she knew it. Another onslaught of tears rolled down her cheeks as if to prove his point, and MC made desperate attempts to brush them away. Jumin pressed a hand to her shoulder, prompting her to look at him. He remained silent, though his eyes lingered on hers for a several uncomfortable moments.

He leaned back into his seat resolutely and pulled his phone from his blazer. "I'll have Assistant Kang send you recommendations for some good therapists—"

Her stomach sunk. "Therapists? No! No, I'm fine."

"You're not fine," Jumin returned with such vehemence that she flinched. "Excluding the bomb situation, you've witnessed your lover nearly die, another man killed—"

"She what?" Zen nearly shouted.

"—and whatever other horrors happened in that place. I'd say you are far from fine," Jumin finished. His gaze never wavered from MC, but something behind it did, eradicating any further dissent on her tongue. His hard-pressed lips released a broken sigh and his entire body slouched. "I'm not losing another friend because they're too stubborn to accept help."

"She experienced what?" Zen repeated, leaning forward to glare at the older man.

"Not now," Jumin snapped. "MC?"

Despite her swollen throat, she nodded. He was right. "I'll…think about it."

"Well, that's a start," Jumin huffed. "Does Saeyoung know about your…condition?"

The mention of him only made MC's chest tighten. She did notice his oddly specific questions lately along with his frequent glances. "No," she said. "But, I think he suspects."

Jumin inhaled deeply. "I'm sure he does. As an agent, he probably knows—"

"Don't tell him," she said. His composure faltered at her request.

Zen rejoined the conversation with a laugh. He inclined his head as if expecting it to be a joke. "Of course, you should tell him."

"I agree," Jumin chimed. If MC wasn't so rattled, she might've teased Zen for the dismay overtaking his face at the concord between them. "Two parties conjoining in any relationship, professional or romantic, should always be open with each other. Especially about something like this."

MC waved her hands frantically. "I—I will, but not yet! With everything—he can't! Please!"

Her pleas sounded pathetic to her own ears, but she couldn't bear to be so broken in front of Saeyoung. He managed to coax her to speak before, but she didn't let him get far. Not yet. His brother was healing, his father was tracing him, and meanwhile he dealt with his own wounds. MC needed to help him—support him. Not become an added burden.

The rain fell with more force against the windshield, emphasizing the disapproving silence of her friends.

Jumin's suit slid across the seats with a hiss. "Very well. I'll tell Yoosung you fell ill, and…I'll try to speak with him. You should go home and rest, MC."

Subconsciously, MC looked down at her trembling hands. Zen let out a sharp breath before standing and shutting the door. He rejoined her on the driver's side, extending his hands for the keys.

Jumin offered him a thankful nod before exiting the car. The car engine rumbled to a start, but Zen made no move for the steering wheel. For a long while, MC could only hear the scritch of the leather seats under her nails.

"What did Jumin mean when he said you saw a man killed?"

The question was said barely above a whisper, but it reverberated loudly in MC's head. Zen dragged his gaze to her, and his penetrating eyes made it impossible to turn away. It was almost as if he was searching for confirmation rather than an answer. He said nothing, but MC could see the unspoken question as if it were marked all over his body: Was that man V?

Before she could provide an answer, something shifted in Zen, and a soft chuckle bubbled past his lips. He fumbled for the wheel and began driving. "Sorry, this isn't the time. I think I understand what you meant earlier…about how complicated everything was. You must've gone through hell."

"I guess so," MC replied. She'd never thought of it. For the past two months, she was constantly moving…constantly dealing with one problem after the next, and now that those problems were disappearing—she was starting to see the biggest ones in herself. She was normal. She was vulnerable. And yes, she'd been through hell.

She stared down at her balled fists, quivering against her will. Zen's hands covered them, and his stillness spread through her fingers.

"Hey," he said, grabbing her attention. "We're here to support you. Yoosung, Jaehee, me…even Jumin, we're here to help you and Saeyoung recover. I don't know how…or from what, but we're here. So, don't hide from us, okay?"

His features blurred in her vision as tears formed afresh. But the pang in her chest wasn't painful—it was warm. She squeezed his hand, hoping the pressure would translate her deep-seated gratitude.

She was breaking—no, she was broken. Her unstoppable tears were a testament to that. But Zen's words lent her a hope she hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe there was still some of that light left in her. The same courage that set her on this journey had to be inside of her somewhere.

She just hoped she could find it before she imploded for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC finally realizes she's normal, huh? 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter featuring more members. Twangst is coming soon, and also more saeyoung and MC so yay. 
> 
> Alsooo, I'm currently doing V's route, but I'm not done yet. I don't think any of it will affect this story, but bear with me if chapters come out longer as I find out new stuff behind the story. Thanks so much for your support so far, and I appreciate your thoughts:) 
> 
> Lots of hugs for those of you dying from V's route:) See you soon!


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung has a bad feeling, and Saeran is remembering some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been far too long since an update. So so sorry. Between life and technical difficulties, and also this chapter ripping at my brain, it's been awhile. Haha....Thanks for your patience, and I hope you enjoy the chapter:)

The occasional clack of a keyboard was only sound that filled the bunker. After weeks of panic, emotional turmoil, and constant moving, Saeyoung thought the uneventful silence these past few days would be a balm to his tired body and mind.

Instead, anxiety wriggled inside his stomach like a virus, overtaking his entire system and draining his energy. No matter how well everything seemed to be going, the shadow of the next disaster breathed down his neck.

Saeyoung tugged on his hair, trying to distract himself with the rather important task glowing on his computer screen. It didn't work. No matter how hard he tried, his fingers floated away from his keyboard, choosing to fidget with his phone in search of his usual consolation. If only she wasn't adding to his anxiety.

His thumb hovered over MC's number for the hundredth time that hour. He had already called her twice earlier, and both times he was sent to voicemail. He had a sickening suspicion she was avoiding him for some reason. Her recent calls had been short…and her visits were non-existent since the last incident with Saeran two weeks ago.

Doubt seeped into his head, creating scenarios where she got tired of this situation and left him for something—or someone—better. Had he made her wait too long? Was this getting too much? The last time he saw her, she seemed uncharacteristically despondent.

"If you're going to be obsessive, just call her."

Saeyoung toppled out of his chair at the intrusive voice. He gathered himself from the floor before turning to face the welcomed disturbance. Vanderwood lingered near a pile of papers on his desk, his hands sifting through them and creating neat columns.

Saeyoung cleared his throat. "I didn't hear you come in, Madam."

"I know," Vanderwood said, unfazed by the old nickname. He set a folder aside before leaning a hip against the table. "Listen, if she's stopping you from doing the work, just call her and put your mind at ease."

The hacker squirmed as the phone once again beckoned to his eager fingers. If he was being honest, he was scared of finding the answer to his speculations. So, he grabbed his cell and shoved it into his pocket, bating the temptation. "She's probably sleeping or something."

"Somehow that girl is always a hindrance to me getting my job done," Vanderwood muttered.

Saeyoung snorted ungracefully. He jammed a thumb drive into his USB port. "You and me both."

Meanwhile, Vanderwood once again took interest in organizing the files. He appeared naturally jittery for someone about to do something very illegal. But the occasional twitch of his brow betrayed another fear hidden under a mask of nonchalance. With the cautious glances he kept sending towards Saeyoung, the hacker wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"I saw your brother on the way in," Vanderwood said.

And there it was.

Saeyoung spun around on his chair, crossing his ankles casually on a metal filing cabinet. "Well, he does stay here, so that's not unusual."

Vanderwood paused, facing Saeyoung but not meeting his gaze. "Listen, don't get defensive or anything, but…he doesn't look too good."

Saeyoung bit down on his lip so hard he drew blood. "Stop dancing around it, Vanderwood. What are you trying to say?"

The older man sighed and rubbed his eyes. His gloved fingers drummed a muted rhythm across the tabletop. "It's just that he gave that same look at the cabin—right before he called over that cult or whatever. It's like he's just waiting for an opportunity to—to—"

"Do something rash," Saeyoung finished. He swiveled back to the screens in order to hide his face. He noticed it too. He'd been like that since he found out about their plan to eradicate the Prime Minister's investigation file. His violent outbursts ceased abruptly, and his health was deteriorating. He was going backwards, and Saeyoung couldn't help but feel it was his fault somehow.

"Just keep a close eye on him," Vanderwood said. "What we're doing is good for him too, no? It would be a shame for him to miss it for some old grudge."

"Yeah," Saeyoung rasped. It would be more than a shame. It would be a tragedy.

He wedged the tip of his thumb between his teeth and redirected his attention to the steadily climbing the percentage. With a short prayer, he unhooked the drive and spun around to face Vanderwood once more.

He held the device between his fingers, donning an unnaturally blithe smile. "One freshly cooked virus ready to distract the national systems for at least twenty-four hours. That should be enough time for you to get in, do what you need to, and get out."

Vanderwood glanced at the little black stick, a dubious frown darkening his face. His gloves squeaked as he balled his hands into fists. "And you're sure it's that good?"

"Have I ever failed you before, Miss?" Saeyoung tilted his head childishly. His stomach was twisted in knots, but he still mustered the smallest of smirks. "Actually, don't answer that."

The older man snatched the drive and carefully tucked it into his jacket pocket. The smell of smoke accompanied his shaky breath, and a heavy atmosphere blanketed the dim room.

Before it could heighten his already present unrest, Saeyoung pushed himself off his chair, wincing at the familiar pain crackling up his spine. He groaned and twisted his body until a few joints pop. Ever since he attained freedom from the agency's inhumane hours, his limbs forgot the prison that was his computer chair.

Saeyoung rammed his hands into his pocket, shifting his weight between his feet. "Are you sure about this?"

"No," Vanderwood replied honestly. He licked his lips and lifted his shoulders in a half-shrug. "I think I'm insane for doing this, but…"

He left his words hanging in the air. Saeyoung didn't know what he would've said, nor how he could've responded. But there was no mistaking the strain of tenderness in the unspoken statement.

The redhead nodded, suddenly feeling very aware of himself. For some odd reason, he wanted to apologize for all his pranks and smart remarks, but he restrained himself. That would only feel like a final goodbye.

Instead, he held out a hand and waited for Vanderwood to meet him with his own. "Thank you," he said finally. His lips parted to say more, but there was nothing more to be said. Implicit fondness was understood in the short exchange-as expected after years of attachment, no matter how reluctant on both sides.

To his surprise, Vanderwood chuckled before releasing his hand. "If all goes well…I'll see you in two days."

Saeyoung swallowed against the growing lump in his throat. "Okay," he croaked. If all went well, he and Saeran would finally be free of their tormented past. For good.

With a final wave, Vanderwood disappeared past the doorway.

Saeyoung waited until he heard the click of the door before trudging forward. He paused on the balcony outside of his computer room, taking in the cleanliness of his house. He was usually glad when Vanderwood tidied the bunker for him, but he hated it now. It ushered an emptiness into the place, re-emphasizing the ominous feeling inside of him.

He shook his head, dispelling those thoughts before he fell deeper into the abyss. Instinctually, he sought out his brother in the stillness, although Vanderwood's comments prompted a more frantic search.

He found Saeran in his usual place—lying on in his self-claimed couch, forearm resting over his eyes and hiding his face, and his lips turned downwards with that ever-present dullness behind them.

Saeyoung inched forward to catch a better glimpse. In spite of his footsteps, Saeran remained motionless. There wasn't even the hush of breathing penetrating the silence. For a brief moment, panic seized Saeyoung, and his hand grabbed his brother's shoulder in impulse. Relief rippled through him when the boy stirred under his touch, blinking at him with bleary eyes and lip protruding in a pout.

It was odd really. It was such a sullen expression, but it made Saeyoung's heart swell. Saeran seemed disgruntled from being wakened, but for a few beautiful moments, he actually looked at him like an annoying brother instead of an enemy.

It triggered a strange sense of excitement in Saeyoung, and his tongue eagerly pressed against his teeth to speak. He wanted to tell Saeran that everything would soon be better. After twenty-two years of living in either fear or misfortune, they finally had the chance to be themselves. They could do what they wanted…be whoever they wanted…they could start living life together—as they always planned.

But, then the innocence faded, and Saeran bore into him with that familiar loathing. Guilt returned to Saeyoung, suppressing the words that were only just brimming inside of him. If it weren't for him, they wouldn't have a need to attain that freedom.

"Sorry," he said instead. He retracted his hand and took a few steps back. "I was just checking on you. Did I wake you?"

Saeran didn't answer but pushed himself into a sitting position. His hands found his disheveled locks, and his knuckles turned as white as the tufts he bunched into his fists. His chest, which was so motionless before, heaved with uneven spurts of air released from his mouth.

"You're getting a headache again," Saeyoung said, recognizing the pained contortion of his brother's face. "I'll get medicine."

"No!" Saeran gasped only to grimace from the effort. He rubbed his reddened eyes, accentuating the fatigue behind them. "I—I don't want them."

"But you're in pain," Saeyoung insisted, already turning towards his room where the all the medicines were temporarily stored. Saeran snatched his wrist, and despite the weak tug, the redhead found himself tumbling back towards the couch.

"I don't want them," Saeran repeated. He swallowed hard and dug his fingertips into his arms.

Saeyoung threaded his hand through his hair. "Saeran, what's going on? You've been refusing painkillers for the past week, and I know your headaches aren't getting better."

"Meds don't help," Saeran muttered. He curled his knees into his chest and buried his face out of view. "And they make them too real."

Saeyoung bit the inside of his cheek as his twin went still again. It was as if the listlessness on the inside was now seeping outside, making him appear more emaciated and hollow than when he was in the hospital.

"Them? Your dreams?" he ventured.

"They're not dreams," Saeran replied. His eyes focused on the thin blanket over his legs, and his brows quirked in a bout of confusion. "Or maybe they are."

"If not dreams, then what?" he asked. He swiped the bottle off the table, mentally noting the low supply in the corner.

Saeran pressed his lips together, and the older twin wrung his hands in the proceeding quiet. As twisted as it sounded, he preferred when Saeran was screaming at him. At least it was indicative of his feelings. It was a way to climb into his head again. With this new taciturn behaviour, he was left with nothing but vague intuition and pained expressions to go by. Twins or not, Saeyoung wasn't a psychic.

But he resolved to be patient. He offered the bottle, and surprisingly, Saeran accepted and took a sip. The plastic crunched underneath his fingertips.

"My memories," came the small admission. Droplets of water hung on his dry lips, but he didn't bother to wipe them. "I keep seeing that old house and…"

His voice trailed off. Water trickled over the top of the bottle with his tightening grip. Saeyoung pried it from his hands, setting it back on the table before returning his attentive gaze to his brother.

There was an undiscernible intensity blazing behind his eyes. It wasn't the fear or hatred that were usually present, but another rawer emotion.

"Mom?" Saeyoung hesitated. The white-haired boy flinched at the proposition. "I mean, you're remembering Mom?"

The affectionate term left a bitter taste in his mouth. He despised calling her that, even when they were younger. It didn't match the monster that had "raised" them.

"If only," Saeran replied with a wry chuckle. Saeyoung's eyes snapped to his at the statement. The younger twin hurriedly took interest in the blanket pooled around his legs. "No, it was someone else."

Saeyoung assumed he meant Rika or V. They did get involved at one point. He recalled the pictures Rika sent him years ago…Saeran's smile and bright eyes. If only she had left him be, he could've stayed that happy.

"I see," Saeyoung said, standing and searching the room for some excuse to change the subject. After what happened with MC, he wasn't sure V and Rika were good things to dwell on. "Are you hungry? Maybe I should—"

"Do you remember reading to me?"

The question was spoken plainly…almost apathetically. But Saeyoung faltered under its implication. It was him. Saeran was remembering him. While his head was telling him that this was a step forward, his gut was telling him differently.

He stiffened, reluctant to confront those greenish-blue eyes that had the uncanny ability to resemble ice whenever they were fixed on him. He grappled with his tongue, trying to form his thoughts without sounding as awkward as he felt. "Yes, I read you a lot of books back then," he replied after some delay.

Saeran scoffed. "You read me fairy tales mostly."

"You…always liked the villains, though," Saeyoung said, a strained laugh barely escaping his throat. The memory of those hazy evenings flooded his brain after being suppressed for so long. The dim light of the lamp, the hard floor scraping his elbows, exhaustion stinging his eyes. But he loved those moments. Saeran would crawl closer to him, raptured by every sentence out of his mouth until sleep finally extinguished his curiosity. "You asked a lot of questions then too. I had to make up some of the answers to the ones I didn't know."

Saeran's mouth curled into a frown. "What?"

Saeyoung rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat. "I couldn't always find them in the books at the library. If you kept asking about them, I—er—made something up."

Saeran wrapped his arms around himself. He adopted a distant look as if he were seeing something other than the red couch underneath him. "That's right. I was just the sick brother he wanted to keep quiet," he said, barely audible under his breath.

Saeyoung deflated at the words, spoken with so much conviction. Saeran slipped into these abstractions often…where his inner conflict became outwardly visible. It was as there if two parts of him battling for the shell of the fragile boy who had endured far too much. One side was defensive and aggressive, and the other still a child who thought he was a burden to everyone.

"No," Saeyoung said, grabbing Saeran's shoulder to draw him back to reality. "Th-that wasn't it. You were just so happy to learn things, and I just liked seeing you, um…happy."

"Happy," Saeran repeated. The edge of his lips tugged upwards in a ghost of a smile. Finally, he lifted his head and faced Saeyoung. The latter shivered at the emptiness staring back at him. "You used to say things like that too. I would be happy one day, like the heroes. That sad moments would only make me cherish the happy ones."

Saeyoung licked his lips, unable to bite back the apprehensive sigh that slid past them. "I did."

"Tell me," Saeran said. "Where's the happiness now?"

"It's…" Saeyoung began.

"You said the pain would only make everything better later," he interrupted with a vehemence contrasting the indifference from minutes before. "But it just doesn't stop. Why?"

His eyes frantically searched Saeyoung's, as if his very life depended on finding the answer. The read head parted his mouth, ever ready to speak with his usual optimism. But something silenced him. Perhaps it was the desperation clawing at his brother's every word. Or maybe it was the unspoken plea for truth—not honeyed promises, even if Saeyoung had every intention of keeping them.

Or maybe…he was just too tired to protest.

He stared down at his own hands, wracking his brain for a reply. But he had none.

Saeran was right. Everything seemed to plummet into a greater mess just at the verge of getting better. Even now, they were at the tip of freedom, and yet Saeran was getting worse…MC was distant… Saeyoung was near the end of his tether.

"I don't know," he found himself saying.

The shock was evident on Saeran's face, and even Saeyoung was startled at his own confession. His tongue sat heavily in his mouth, but his words continued to roll off it unbridled. "I don't know why this keeps happening. I don't know why life seems so against us, or why everything went wrong in the first place. I just don't know!"

He lowered himself onto the arm of the couch, his exhaustion heaping onto him in the form of frustration. He clutched the hem of his jacket, trying to steady his suddenly shaking hands. His throat constricted, impeding his ability to breath without gasping. He was acutely aware of Saeran's unwavering gaze through it all.

When he finally loosened his throat, he lifted his head. He was met with green eyes, but they weren't cold or lifeless. They were burning with the same fervor as before. Those crucibles seared him to his core, eliminating the mask of strength he fought to uphold thus far.

"So, I'm right," Saeran said with a nod. He spoke as if he forgot Saeyoung was even present. "Everything is meaningless."

Saeyoung tumbled back onto the chair, his thoughts beginning to spiral out of control. He was already at the precipice of despair, and it was so tempting to jump off the edge. For a frightening moment, he almost relinquished the sliver of hope he had fastened inside his chest. He almost succumbed to the numbness that appeared so sweet in the midst of constant calamity.

But then, an intense fear gripped him.

It wasn't cold like the one that had been choking him all evening. No, this was sweltering. It conjured every one of his dreams into his mind. His relationship with Saeran completely healed, bantering with him on rainy days, running a toy shop together. Then there was his wedding with MC, the sound of children's laughter filling the bunker—being a whole, happy family.

As painful as it was to endure one unfortunate event after the other, it was excruciating to think none of those things would come to pass.

"Saeran, it's not meaningless," Saeyoung interjected. He barely had energy to sit up, but he forced himself to press on—to drive out the bleak countenance that clung to his brother like a leech. "It's not worth giving up. Isn't the possibility of happiness better than nothing? I don't know why we went through what we did, but we're here now. We just have to keep fighting for what we want, and one day, we're bound to find happiness. We really will."

Every one of his words was weighted with sincerity, but they only seemed to make the younger twin angrier. Saeran clenched his jaw and ripped the blanket off his legs.

"Will?" he said, his voice growing thinner and tremulous. "How do you say that word so freely? Like there's actually a future to look forward to."

Saeyoung held his ground. "Because there is."

"For you, maybe," Saeran spat. He swung his feet to the floor, now fully facing the older twin. "It's always worked out for you. You're moving forward and getting everything you wanted. The freedom, the girl, all your possessions. It's just like back then."

Saeyoung tensed at the tear that rolled down his brother's face. "It's not, Saeran. You can move forward too—"

"No, I can't!" Saeran burst. He stood from the couch, his legs wobbling underneath him as he approached Saeyoung. "Don't you get it, idiot? Because of you, I can't!"

Saeyoung did understand. He knew all too well how loneliness could eat away at one's mind until sadness rushed in and devoured the remains of a battered soul.

He stood so he could look Saeran straight in the eye. "Saeran, please. I know what I did, but I'm trying to help you now!"

Saeran lifted a quivering finger and jabbed at his chest. "I hate you for saying things like that. For saying that everything's going to be fine-that you'll help and it'll get better. But then you go ahead and leave me with nothing but your stupid lies!" His shouting dwindled into a few hushed breaths. He stared down at his own hands and something calculative clicked behind his eyes. "Well, I won't be the one left behind this time."

Saeyoung gripped Saeran's arms, snapping him out of his daze before his violent side resurfaced. "Hey, I'm not lying—"

"Don't touch me," Saeran spat. He yanked himself out of Saeyoung's grip and pivoted on his heel. "I'm not going through this again. I don't want to hear your excuses. Just leave me alone."

Saeyoung took a few steps forward but stopped when Saeran whirled around, a threatening scowl marring his features. He raised his hands in surrender. "Just one more thing, and I'll leave you be."

The stiffness in Saeran's limbs fell away one by one until he was slouching again. He lowered himself back onto the couch before giving a wary nod. Saeyoung drew a shaky breath. "I know the world hasn't been kind to you. I know people can be cruel and hurtful…even the ones we thought would protect us. But it doesn't stay bad, so…don't give up on it yet. I almost did once, but now I have you back. And that's one of the best things that's happened to me. As long as we're in the same world, I'll be here for you. I'll try to show you it's good side if you'll let me."

Saeran gripped the cloth of his pants into his balled fists. He exhaled sharply, half of the breath strangled. "If you're in this world, then there is nothing good in it," he bit out, his voice small and coated with emotion. "I heard what you had to say, now leave me alone."

Saeyoung rubbed his arms as if that would somehow relieve the ache in his chest. He watched Saeran curl into himself on the couch looking more broken and surrendered than he had ever been.

Every time this happened. Every time Saeyoung tried to get him to open up, this worsened…and he was beginning to notice the effort Saeran exerted to even look at him. He didn't even blame him.

Saeyoung's instincts kicked in, and the urge to distance himself became impossible to ignore in the renewed silence. He fumbled for his car keys on the table. "Um, I need to pick up some food and water. It'll take an hour or so."

No response. With a sigh, he turned to leave. His body acted on its own while his mind continued to replay the entire conversation without his permission. Before he realized it, he was in his driver's seat, slumping against the leather and fingering the cool metal of his key.

He was giving Saeran space. Maybe that was what he needed to recover. Distance from the brother who abandoned him and made him so skeptical about everything and everyone in the first place. Saeyoung scoffed at his own expense as he lifted the key to the ignition, but he never actually inserted it.

A cold shiver ran down his spine. The anxiety from before slammed into him like a hammer and started wreaking havoc in his stomach. He rubbed his eyes as one of Saeran's statements surfaced in his mind.

"I won't be the one left behind this time," Saeyoung echoed. What did Saeran mean by that? What was that switch behind his gaze? Why did it make him so sick?

Saeyoung banged his head against his fist several times in attempts to stop his brain which had suddenly turned into a broken record. He couldn't get that one sentence out of his head.

He forced his hands onto the steering wheel, gripping it tightly and hoping the pain would bring him back to sense.

But it didn't. That ghost of apprehension lingered, yanking at his chest and tormenting his thoughts with "what ifs." Tired of fighting it, Saeyoung shoved his keys back into his pocket and exited the car. He was probably being paranoid, but one check-up couldn't harm anything. He jogged down the stairs back into the bunker and punched in the code to enter.

Saeyoung was sure he was overreacting. He was sure that he would be greeted by that all too familiar scene. Saeran would be lying on the couch, back flat against the cushions, face glaring upwards at the ceiling.

The doors slid open, and Saeyoung realized he had never been so wrong in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder what's going on? Hm. :( 
> 
> Hope you liked the Twangst™. Hope you're looking forward to more. The next update will definitely be sooner than the last unless something really crazy happens to me. Let's hope not. Anway, thank you all for reading and being so supportive despite the lack of updates! I appreciated all your comments here and on tumblr. See you very soon~


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the part where everything goes wrong and everything goes right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look...an update. Not gonna lie, this was probably the most daunting chapter I've written for this story and I'm nervous about even pressing that update button. Lol. But I hope you guys like it!

Saeyoung noticed things in pieces. The craggy edge of a broken glass cup, the pale hand that pressed it to an equally blanched wrist, his brother's lips that contained both deep happiness and deep sadness in one twisted curve. He saw all of this but comprehended none of it.

For ten miserable seconds, a malevolent numbness overcame his body, paralyzing both his tongue and his limbs. It was as if he was trapped in a nightmare, unable to change the course of this horrendous dream. Only, this was real.

Saeran's vein strained against the pointed tip of the glass, and Saeyoung snapped. His keys slid from his fingers and desperation surged through his body, throwing it into motion. But everything was too slow.

Ten feet were like a thousand, and the abundance of oxygen was like an ocean drowning every breath. Fear weighed down his legs like a ball and chain, making every step arduous.

What if he was too late? Just one second could change everything.

Adrenaline blinded him, and he was only aware of his hands colliding with something hard before gravity displaced his balance. Pain jolted through his hand when he crashed against the floor. The piece of glass skidded aside, landing inches above Saeran's head. No blood.

Before Saeran could move, Saeyoung swung his leg over his middle and caged his flailing arms to either side of his head. A rhythmic beat hammered against his fingertips.

A pulse. Saeran was alive.

Relief rippled through Saeyoung, filling his ears with the thudding of his own heart. His lungs heaved a breath he didn't even remember holding.

Saeran lay still underneath him. His eyes were clenched shut, and the edges of his mouth curled back in a grimace. The lack of movement combined with raw fear pulsing through Saeyoung's nerves trifled with his mind. It teased him, infiltrating his thoughts with convincing arguments that he was too late. His brother was dead, despite the physical evidence bombarding his senses.

Unable to trust his own head, Saeyoung parted his lips. "Saeran," he called—or tried to anyway. His throat was so dry, the name barely grated past it.

The boy blinked in response. Slits of green peeked out from beneath his lids, adjusting to the light before flitting around the ceiling. He regained focus, finally meeting Saeyoung's baited gaze.

Saeyoung could've sworn his heartstrings snapped in that moment. Tears cascaded down his face in streams, but he wasn't sure why. Was it relief or sorrow? Either way, an unbidden sob tumbled from his throat.

Saeran jerked his hands, but Saeyoung didn't withdraw. He tightened his grip until both of their wrists turned white. Twinges of pain shot through his healing wound, but he didn't care. He wasn't letting go until that look was wiped off his brother's face. Not a look-a longing. A longing for freedom from life itself.

"Don't—" Saeyoung began, his voice catching. He bowed his head to hide his tears, but they seeped into Saeran's shirt creating a blotch that eerily resembled blood against the red fabric. The image stilled his quivering lip and fueled his resolution. "Don't go."

Saeran wriggled underneath him, attempting to free himself to no avail. A low growl rumbled in his throat. "You said you'd be back in an hour, idiot."

"I started the ignition and had a bad feeling," Saeyoung said. He shifted his weight, further binding Saeran to the ground. "So I came back right away."

The latter blew a puff of air through his nose. He gritted his teeth, turning his head towards one of his restricted hands. His legs thrashed and his wrists struggled against the older man's, but neither resulted in his release. His body deflated into the tiles beneath him, and the ferocity behind his glare fizzled into a neutral expression.

"Let go," he said. "I won't die now."

Saeyoung winced at the word "die." His brain mercilessly summoned dark images of his brother lying in a pool of his own blood. How could Saeran speak of it so easily?

He hesitated, knotted nerves impeding his mind's clarity. The broken glass loomed in the short distance, taunting him with guilty accusations. He failed to prevent this even at his best efforts. This was his fault. Always his fault.

"Don't go," he found himself saying again. Despite his sanity on the verge of shattering for good, his voice was as steady as his muscles. He dragged his attention back to the boy under him, those images prominent in his mind again. "Don't go, Saeran!"

Saeran gave no response except a sigh. "Let go," he repeated. "I won't do it."

Saeyoung only tightened his grip, unwilling to allow the possibility of another attempt. But his brother's eyes only reflected truth. He was frustrated perhaps, but that wretched pining was buried for now. He wouldn't do it.

With a prepping breath, Saeyoung released his hold finger by finger. His knuckles ached as he pressed them against the floor to stand. He regained balance before extending his hand towards Saeran.

The latter surprisingly accepted it. His bony, frozen hands trembled against Saeyoung's clammy ones. He stumbled forward when heaved to his feet, and the redhead took the advantage to linger at his wrists for one last reassurance of a pulse. It was there…but it was racing—a stark contrast to Saeran's calm expression.

"Are you okay?" he asked stupidly. His brother nearly took his own life. Of course he wasn't okay.

Saeran stared down at the ground, his focus faltering towards the glass. Saeyoung kicked it away, bringing the attention back to himself. He swallowed against his coarse throat as Saeran leveled a glowering look in his direction. "You stopped me," he said.

"Yes," Saeyoung rasped. He grabbed his shoulders, afraid Saeran would disappear if he let go. "Please-this pain you're feeling isn't permanent. Let me help—"

The ground shifted under his feet, interrupting his speech. His energy levels plummeted, and his legs buckled under the weight of relief. Two arms caught him before he hit the ground. He tried to reclaim control of his limbs, but gravity seemed to want to squash him into the ground. No…not gravity. Saeran held him firmly in place.

Saeyoung tensed when a hand threaded through his hair. The touch was neither kind nor malicious, but rather like a blind man feeling what he could not see. He craned his neck to look up.

A film shrouded Saeran's eyes, and though he was fixated on Saeyoung, his mind was absent. "I can't leave you," he said with a revelatory gasp.

"Wh-what?" Saeyoung said.

"You won't let me die, right?" Saeran asked. The words barely left his mouth, coming out small and uneven.

"Yes," Saeyoung nodded. Hope swelled in his chest, producing a strained chuckle. "As long as I'm here on this earth, I will do everything to keep you alive. Everything."

At first, Saeran remained motionless. Even his breaths were indistinguishable except for the light flutter against Saeyoung's hair. Then his scowl unfurled into a smile. It was small, arched, and familiar. But there was no warmth behind it.

It was a razor in the way it cut through Saeyoung, invoking a sudden chill down his spine. Memories of dimly lit computer room came to mind. Saeran had first faced him then…with the same smile. The same gleaming eyes. The same foreboding shadow crossing his face.

"Then, it might be right to send you off first," Saeran breathed.

By the time Saeyoung registered those words, it was too late. One moment, Saeran hoisted him to his feet, and the next his palm flattened against his chest. Light blinded his vision about the same time his head collided with the wall. When it finally cleared, Saeran stood in front of him, teeth flashing in a snarl, and both hands wrapped around his neck.

His thumb grazed against his throat, and the redhead barely sucked a breath before it dug into his skin. Oxygen was cut from his airways, and within seconds, pressure compressed his ears and head.

"You need to disappear," Saeran said, sounding muffled and distant. "Your time with me…your words…everything."

Each point was emphasized with increasing force. Out of instinct, Saeyoung clawed at the hands around his neck, fingers grasping Saeran's only to slip away from lack of energy.

His tongue formed his brother's name over and over, hoping to snap him out of it. But this was more than an outburst, wasn't it? This was despise—one that had festered inside a hurt child until he cracked under the weight of it.

Saeyoung grabbed his brother's wrist, once again speaking his name in hopes of appealing to the bond they shared as twins…as family. But, Saeran only rammed him backwards, delivering another blow to his head.

"Don't call my name!" the younger twin barked. His hand contracted, and Saeyoung stiffened against the wall. Numbness spread into his fingertips, halting his scrambling hands.

The laugh that spilled from Saeran's mouth contradicted the tears trailing down his cheeks. His eyes bore into Saeyoung with such hatred that he momentarily forgot about the physical pain. "S-Sae…ran…"

"No," Saeran interrupted. A vein on his neck twitched mirroring the anger coursing through the strength of his hands. "I won't let you speak. You won't lie to me anymore with your talk of—of being happy and second chances. You won't!"

Saeyoung gasped for air, but nothing entered his dry mouth. Panic flooded his senses when black bubbles crowded his vision. For as many times he flirted with death and the idea of an all-consuming nothingness, this should've been a welcomed relief. But this was agonizing.

Fire erupted through every fiber of his being, weaving pain into every miniscule movement. At the same time, ice gripped his core, strangling his spirit in the same way Saeran's hands wrung his neck. Both of them snared their cords around his mind, solidifying his sudden revelation. He was dying.

It was often said that one's life flashed before their eyes before death. But not for Saeyoung. His mind turned to the present—to all the happiness he gained and would now lose.

He thought of MC, the angel who saved him—who loved him. She would be left alone with his unfulfilled promises of a good life. And the RFA, his only friends, now left with an empty profile and more unanswered questions. And Saeran…He couldn't bear to think of his brother lost again.

It was ironic, really. For most of his years, he avoided happiness, thinking it a foolish endeavor. To him, it was a cruel disease seducing its victims into a euphoric state until it abandoned them to the rest of the living dead.

He wished he still believed it. Maybe then his slowing heart would be saved from its suffering. But wasn't this justice?

Saeyoung forced his wavering vision onto Saeran's contorted expression. He vowed to remember it. He would carry the consequences of what his stupid decision unto the grave.

Saeran's eyes met his, flaying him with every memory they shared together—good and bad. Perhaps God was being merciful to Saeyoung in his last moments, but he could've sworn there was something akin to affection in that glance. But, it was fleeting, quickly dislodged by familiar rage.

"Don't make that face," Saeran spat. "Even if you die in front of me, I won't fall for it!"

Saeyoung managed to lift his hand enough to rest on Saeran's arm. It wasn't a means to stop him, but rather a sign of surrender. He wouldn't fight him.

"I promised myself I'd kill you with my own hands," Saeran went on. His nails dug into Saeyoung's skin, sending fresh waves of torment through his head. "Finally, I did it. I won."

His words sounded too weak to be victorious. Still, they whipped Saeyoung's conscience, but he could only listen as his brother continued.

"Admit it," Saeran said. Tears dangled from his lips, swayed by his hoarse whispers. "You were wrong to trick me. You were wrong to…make me wait. You—You hurt me! And now you'll pay for it. You—"

He closed his mouth, barely stopping the whimper that rattled his voice. A few choked sobs still managed to escape and pierce the silence.

So much pain in one person. It wasn't fair.

The slip up caused Saeran to loosen his grip for just a moment. But it was enough time for a small spurt of air to enter Saeyoung's flaring lungs—though he didn't dare savor the oxygen. If this was his last breath, he wanted Saeran to know his true feelings.

"My…one and only…brother," the words tore at his vocal cords like a scream, but they only surfaced as a broken gasp. His tongue wrangled in his mouth, unable to form the next words.

I'm sorry…I'm sorry…

He chanted the phrase in his head, but his lips remained motionless. His body succumbed to the dullness and stripped his brain of control. It wasn't fair.

Saeran banged Saeyoung's head against the wall once more, but the pain didn't register. "Don't say that!" he shouted. "I hate you. Just die so I can be free. Then, I'll finally get what I want, right? Right?"

He shoved Saeyoung back as if he was withholding an answer. But his consciousness was ebbing away, and any encouragement he could offer perished on his useless tongue.

"Y-you said you'd die for me, right?" Saeran went on. His voice was tight and unsteady. "You said—"

A shuddering breath sputtered from his mouth, providing a trickle of warmth to Saeyoung's cold skin. Then there was silence, or maybe his ears had stopped working. He wasn't sure. He felt nothing.

Saeyoung was an agent for years. He understood how this worked. Soon, he would fall unconscious while the strangulation continued, which would leave less than five minutes to death, if he gauged the pressure correctly. Already, the ice in his chest infected every part of him, confirming his approaching end. He surrendered to it, closed his eyes, and counted down his final seconds.

One…two…three…

He got to five when searing heat whirled into his lungs. His mouth fell open, and air barraged his deprived body. The oxygen which it craved minutes ago was now distasteful, and it dispelled it in violent coughs. Pain wracked Saeyoung's entire frame, pounding against his sore ribs with every heave.

His fingers twitched against something cold. A steady thrum inside his head matched the throbbing everywhere else. A heartbeat? His heartbeat. He was alive?

He swallowed against the pain and pried his eyes open. Everything was blurry except for a white floor and the hem of worn running pants. Despite his trembling hands, he acted on some unknown strength and bunched the cloth in his fist. "Saeran?" he mouthed, his voice lost in his own throat.

The movement sent Saeran slithering to his knees. His eyes stared at his visibly quivering hands. "I can't…kill you," he choked. His fingers raked against his scalp, catching on his matted hair. "Why? Why can't I—"

Saeyoung inhaled deeply, but any attempt to speak resulted in another coughing fit. His nerves tingled as feeling returned to them, though they ached when he pushed himself to his knees. He collapsed against the wall.

"Saeran, you…" he began, already breathless. "You are another me. We are connected…since birth. You know it too…so you can't really kill me."

Saeran shook his head vehemently. "No," he said. His hands darted out and grabbed Saeyoung's collar, shaking him. "No. I hate you more than anyone in this world. I hate you the most!"

His last few words dissolved into a cry, and he lowered his face into the older man's shirt. Dampness soaked into the fabric, burning his cool skin.

"We are connected," Saeyoung insisted. "Whether you hate me or not."

Saeran abruptly recoiled as if he'd been struck. "Connected? How can you say that? You don't even know what I went through. If we're so connected, then how come I'm the only one who feels pain?"

Saeyoung let out a harsh breath, composing himself before frustration lashed out. "Don't say that," he said, throat blistering with the effort. "It did hurt me. Every day since I left you, it hurt. I thought I would go insane some days from the pain."

Saeran curled his knees into his chest, appearing more as a child than a man. His cheeks were streaked with both dry and fresh tears, and the most heart-wrenching sob escaped his mouth the moment he opened it.

"Then, how did you do it?" he asked, his voice thick and yet trembling. "How did you leave me and just go? After you told me over and over again, you wanted to live with me—that we'd be happy-you left me alone in that dark and lonely place."

"I…thought you'd be happier without me," Saeyoung replied, the explanation sounding pathetic even to himself.

"Without you?" Saeran huffed. He jabbed his shaky finger at Saeyoung's sore ribs. "You said we'd be happy—together. You said you'd try hard, and I should have hope and wait until we left—together! Do you remember?"

Saeyoung swallowed hard. "Things changed."

"They didn't change for me!" Saeran fell back against the table behind him, frantically swiping at his damp face. His shoulders convulsed with another shudder. "I still waited…weeks and weeks."

"I didn't know," Saeyoung stammered. "I thought you'd be rescued after I left."

"Well, I thought you—" Saeran stopped, frantically gasping for another breath. "I thought you died and wouldn't come back."

Saeyoung lunged for Saeran's hands, falling just out of reach. "If I would've known, I would've come back! I thought—I didn't—"

He quickly shut his mouth, face burning in shame under his brother's convicting glare. How could he ask him to believe his words after all this time?

"I wanted to die, you know that?" Saeran hissed. "Even when mom tortured me and I stayed up all night crying, I waited for you. It was so painful…just as if half of me was being torn apart."

Saeyoung winced as another series of cries poured from his twin's mouth. Each one sent a pang to his chest, reminding him of the nights where their mother insisted on being inexplicably cruel. Only this pain was his fault.

He padded forward on his hands, settling beside Saeran's shrinking frame. His hand hovered over his shoulder, but apprehension and embarrassment kept it suspended. What had he done?

"You should've killed me," Saeyoung said without thinking. But it was probably the most truthful statement he'd ever spoken to his brother.

Saeran lifted his gaze. His reddened eyes locked with Saeyoung's before trailing down his body, as if contemplating that very deed. He opened his palm, drifting towards the curve of his neck but stopped halfway.

"I can't," he exhaled shakily before his hand dropped. "Part of me wants you to experience the same pain as I did. It wants you gone from this world but…"

A gulp slid down Saeyoung's swollen throat. "You can't kill me," he said. "But you still hate me."

Saeran stiffened at the suggestion. He buried his face in his hands, hopeless frustration wresting from his next cry. "I don't know anymore. I don't know…how to hate you. I don't know how to trust you. It was always one or the other and now-How am I supposed to live?"

Before Saeyoung could open his mouth, Saeran groaned and clutched at his own chest. "I just want someone to tell me who can save me when all I have is this pain! Tell me…you said I'm another you—that we're connected. Prove it!"

Saeyoung couldn't. They were connected, yes, and the agony ruthlessly shredding at his fractured heart was the only evidence he had. And yet, how could he even begin to communicate that?

"I'm sorry," were the only words that tumbled from his mouth.

Saeran's face grew darker, if possible, and the vestiges of light dissipated from his countenance. "Is that all you can say?"

There was too much to be said—that was the problem. But he would try. Squelching the fear that held him back before, Saeyoung bolted forward and wrapped his arms around Saeran's neck, yanking his cold body to his own.

"I'm sorry," he murmured like a prayer. "I'm so sorry. I don't know how to take away the pain. I want to…I wish I could."

Saeran's arms hung at his sides, but he didn't retract from the embrace. "So, how can I live then? There's nothing for me but pain."

Saeyoung buried his face into Saeran's shoulder, breathing in the faint smell of wood that always seemed to linger on his skin even as a kid. It brought him courage somehow by reminding him that he was his twin. He knew him best, and maybe that could be enough to mend the chasm that circumstance had created.

"That's not true," he said. "There's a place for you wherever you choose. Find something that'll make you happy. Do whatever you want now."

"It's too late for me, you idiot," Saeran snapped. "I'm too…too…"

He didn't finish the statement, but Saeyoung could follow that thought all too well.

"You're never too broken," he said. "Whatever happened is over. It can only go up from here."

"Don't say that so easily. It wasn't your life," Saeran said. He wedged his hands between them but made little effort to separate himself. "What happened haunts me, and you think it'll just go away?"

"Not easily," Saeyoung admitted. He withdrew himself, planting his hands on Saeran's shoulders and ducking his head to meet his gaze. "But you're not alone anymore. You can find happiness, and this time, we really will do it together."

Hope and despair flickered simultaneously behind those green eyes. It was as if those two sides of him were at their final battle, fighting for ultimate victory over this frail body. Saeran bit down on his lip until a bead of red formed almost as a testament to the conflict within. "I…I can't. Look at all the time I've lost."

Saeyoung softened his expression. "The time given to us…is only a fantasy. It's a relative thing we create. Nothing is too late. Life goes on if you don't give up. It keeps giving you chances. Look at us now. Despite everything…we're here together again."

Saeran lowered his head into his hands, releasing a few ragged breaths. "How?" he demanded. "You speak as if it's so easy to move forward, but I can only see myself…stuck."

Saeyoung ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I never said it was easy. But we'll take a day at a time, and eventually…we'll get somewhere. As far as we've gone, the happiness we have now will shine brighter."

Saeran snorted, wiping his nose against his sleeve. "You haven't changed at all."

Despite his better judgment, Saeyoung allowed himself a chuckle. His fist nudged Saeran's shoulder. "So…what will you do?"

The younger twin turned his head, the battle resurfacing and ushering silence again. He didn't give an answer, and Saeyoung didn't press him for one. For a man forced into one situation to the next, this decision…happiness had to be his choice.

"I don't know," Saeran said. He rubbed his eyes wearily and sighed. "I don't know what it all means or how to get there—"

"Don't worry about how," Saeyoung interrupted. He stood from his place, using the couch to steady himself. His throat was still searing, and his head pounded behind his eyes. But at least he was alive. At least Saeran was alive. Both of those truths were enough to rekindle the hope he almost lost in the face of death. "It's not something that happens in a flash. It's more like…a daily decision. Choosing to wake up. Choosing to laugh when the opportunity comes."

"And what about the pain?" Saeran asked, hugging his middle. "That doesn't go away."

"No," Saeyoung said, tugging him onto the couch and draping a blanket over his shoulders. "But that's when others come in—to help you. I'll be the first…if you let me."

Saeran sunk into the cushions, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. His eyes searched the ground as if it held the answer, but Saeyoung knew from experience that the solution could only be found in the midst of raging emotions.

So he waited. As much as he wanted to upkeep his newfound positivity, he knew reality was hardly kind. Saeran would probably refuse, condemning Saeyoung to lifelong remorse for his sins with loneliness as his only companion. He couldn't even blame him if he did. But he needed Saeran to be happy—to be alive. He could hate him for the rest of his life, but if he was fine…then Saeyoung would accept it.

"Okay."

Saeyoung blinked, unsure if he actually heard the word or imagined it. Even when Saeran glanced up at him expectantly, he didn't assume. "Wh-what?"

Saeran cleared his throat and shrugged. "I said okay. I don't trust you fully. Not much at all, I think. But I'll…believe you for now."

Saeyoung wasn't even sure it was possible to experience so many emotions in one second, but he did. He lunged forward on the couch and crushed Saeran in his arms until his own ribs ached. "Thank you," he said. "For forgiving me. I'll be good to you from now on."

"I haven't forgiven you," Saeran spat, twisting out of his hold.

Saeyoung pressed the heel of his palm into his leaking eyes. "You can't kill me," he pointed out with a humorless chuckle.

Saeran swore under his breath before retreating further into his blanket. "Still."

"Even so," Saeyoung went on. "You'll live, right? That's enough for me."

Saeran's eyes widened at the confession. His mouth opened, but nothing but a broken syllable. He shifted to his side and concealed his face from view. "Just keep your word this time…Saeyoung."

Saeyoung barely contained a sob of his own. He gathered his thoughts from his internal havoc and exhaled sharply. "I will," he promised.

Saeran fidgeted against the cushions. "It's late. You should sleep."

Despite the implied dismissal, Saeyoung made no move to leave. He stretched out on the opposite end of the couch and tucked his legs behind Saeran's. The latter didn't protest. His breaths gradually evened into a soft buzz, and warmth emanated from his still form.

Saeyoung clasped the cross around his neck, mumbling a prayer of thanks but one that couldn't fully encompass the gratitude bursting inside. He wasn't sure what was next. He wasn't sure how long Saeran would take to recover or how he could help.

But something shifted between them. It was barely noticeable compared to the distance they still had left, but it was a start. A good start.

Saeyoung slumped into the cushions as fatigue finally settled. He vaguely aware of his phone sliding from his pocket and hitting the carpet with a muted thump. It vibrated incessantly against the fabric, but the temptation of sleep became too great for his will to move. It should be fine, he told himself.

His brother's leg brushed against his own, soothing the harsh whispers of anxiety and sending the thought of the phone into oblivion. His lips twitched upwards as sleep dragged him further into its depths.

Finally. They could rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pick up your frickin' phone, Saeyoung... 
> 
> So...Hopefully, you enjoyed this...rollercoaster of a chapter. Cheritz did such an amazing job with the emotions in this section, so I hope I did it justice! Anyway, thanks as always for reading. And Thanks for being so patient with the updates, guys. All your supportive and caring messages these weeks have given me life! Until next time~ 
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who'll be celebrating:)


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC is dealing with her trauma...poorly. Plus "fun" phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi....I'm not dead. Ha...I apologize profusely for the unannounced hiatus. For those of you who don't follow me on tumblr, I started grad school this January, so everything kind of imploded near the beginning of the semester. Plus, I had to step back and rework a lot of plot points for this series. Thank you for everyone who has been leaving comments on the story and encouraging me through the silent period. I promise to get to respond to each of you as fast as I can! 
> 
> But enough of that! Here's the chapter! I sincerely hope you enjoy:)

MC lurched forward in her bed, gasping for breath. The warmth pooling around her legs from her thick blanket was suffocating despite the chills trailing down her spine. She kicked it off and pushed herself forward onto her knees. Her arms wobbled under her own weight.

A whimper slid from her mouth, the imprints of the nightmare still flashing in the back of her head. "Not real," she muttered to herself. She gripped the sheets in her fists until her knuckles turned white. "Not real…not real…"

Her voice faltered at the last syllable. The fear swirling inside her body morphed into physical pain, sending sharp twinges through her chest as that horrific scene continued to appear. Bile stung at the back of her throat, and her stomach recoiled despite its empty contents. Shakily, MC lowered herself back against the headboard of the small bed, steadying her breaths as best as she could.

The gentle light of dawn peeking through the drawn curtains of her room was a small comfort to her trembling body. Its warmth rested against her bare legs, comforting rather than stifling now. Still, raw fear pulsed through her veins and tightened every muscle against her will.

She hated this. She hated how normal it had become.

For the past weeks, her brain had tormented her with those hellish nightmares until the line between past and present became ambiguous. Sometimes, she swore she was still in that dingy little cell, and other times she was with Rika in that suffocating backroom. But the worst was when she saw red.

Dull red. It was the color of his hair and his shirt, and worst of all, it was the color pouring out of his side while she remained helpless to stop it.

A shrill ring pierced her eardrums, reawakening the sharp pain at the base of her neck. Despite the discomfort, MC was glad for it.

It scattered her bleak thoughts from her head and reinstated a small sense of alertness amongst the haziness of her mind. Her hand slapped against the alarm on the nightstand, only the rattling bell didn't stop. She pressed the snooze button frantically, afraid her fingers had finally lost all strength in their quaking.

It was only after several failed attempts did her mind defog enough to recognize that it was her ringtone—not her alarm. She redirected her scrambling to the bed, following the source of sound until she found her phone amongst the tangled sheets. Her heart stopped at the picture that flashed at the top.

Saeyoung.

Her finger traced along the curve of his smiling face. Such a stark contrast to the mangled, lifeless one in her dreams. It had been fifteen days since she'd seen it in person.

She wasn't sure how she allowed the number to grow so large. Nearly every day, she convinced herself to see him—to let the truth bleed from her unseen wound. But, one day turned into three. Three turned into five. Nothing changed. The exhaustion in his voice would always be an excellent persuader, convincing her to stay silent every time she noticed its presence weighing down on his words. Adding to his long list of burdens felt selfish.

Avoidance was easier. It was easier than letting him see her as this hollow shell. It was easier than being vulnerable-even more so as time passed. MC half-wondered if it was the source of her dreams. As if her conscience was punishing her for her actions.

And yet, here she was again, her shaking fingers hovering over the phone with every intention to decline his call. Her chest ached even at the thought. She wanted to pick up…to hear his voice as a reassurance that he was there. Alive.

But, the panic of the nightmare clung to her, making her all the more aware of her quivering breaths. Blood pounded in her ears, emphasizing the erratic pace of her heart and inhibiting her ability to concentrate on anything but breathing. She couldn't talk to him like this.

The phone slipped from her fingers, landing on the mattress with a small thump. She ran her fingers through her hair still damp from sweat. Needing an anchor back into reality, she shut her eyes and focused on the sounds around her.

Her concentration narrowed on the rumbling cars passing outside…on the birds chirping blissfully…the faint ticking of the clock in the living room. Those were real. No screaming. No crying. No…blood.

"Hello? MC?"

MC startled at the faint call. Her eyes fluttered open, half expecting to see a glimpse of red hair, but she was met with her empty room. She blinked when she heard the call again, the words less decipherable, but the voice undeniably Saeyoung's.

For a moment, she thought she hallucinated in her desperation to hear him. But then, her gaze fell to the phone, the screen lit and the call connected, and she remembered who she was dating. Lacking the energy to feel anything more than mildly bothered by his intrusion, MC swallowed hard to dislodge the lump in her throat before lifting the phone to her ear.

"You really shouldn't be hacking with your arm still healing," she said. The sentence came out breathy and thin, but at least it was steady.

"Oh, thank God," came Saeyoung's relieved sigh over the speaker. MC released a bated breath of her own, but any consolation from his voice was short lived, displaced by his frantic edge. "I know. I'm sorry but-Are you all right? Did anything happen? Are you safe?"

Her mouth parted in confusion at the bombardment of questions. Involuntarily, she scanned the room, checking if there was some threat she had missed in her harrowing fight for sanity.

"I'm…in bed," she returned slowly, her nerves fraying further from her boyfriend's frazzled pants. "Saeyoung, what's wrong?"

The brief pause on the other end wasn't assuring. MC's fingers tightened around the phone, pressing it closer against her ear until she could hear his now hushed breaths through the speaker. They were still as uneven as before.

"You're okay, right?" he asked again, his voice cracking at the last syllable.

_No._

MC reclined back onto the headboard, forcing down the word before it slipped from her tongue. Her head had now joined the disorderly dance of her heart, following its every beat with a thump of pain. The remnants of that unfounded fear were beginning to ebb, but she was still shaking.

"Mhmm," she barely managed.

"You don't sound it."

Perceptive as usual. MC bit down on her bottom lip, racking her brains for something to alleviate the worry dripping from his words. "Just… a bad dream."

It was the truth at least. Not the entire truth maybe, but a start.

She winced at the long silence that followed. He was calculating her answer. Every inflection and every syllable, he was piecing together to read her like no one else could. For once, she hated it. She heard his slight inhale, but whatever he was going to say vanished in the next breath.

"But, you're safe?" he said finally, more as a reassurance to himself than a query.

If his tone wasn't indicative of the fact alone, the incessant drumming of his fingers in the background was incriminating evidence of his barely suppressed panic. MC had only witnessed him this rattled once before, and that was when there was a threat of the apartment exploding to pieces with her in it. Hearing him like that again was enough to shove down her tremors. Or at least redirect them.

"I'm safe," she began. "But, you didn't answer me before. What's wrong?"

A sharp huff crackled the speaker. "I'm turning off my phone for a little bit, okay? Just for a day. I have another phone…Vanderwood put it somewhere when he cleaned. I'll send you the number once I find it."

Despite the weakness winding through her limbs, her shock was enough to jolt her body upright. The mattress squeaked under her knees as she scrambled to the edge of the bed, as if she could dash there that moment. "Wait, you're what? Why? Did something happen with Saeran?"

"No, no! We're fine. Don't worry!" he interjected, though she was hardly convinced. She could practically feel his nervousness skittering down her own skin like electricity. Besides, his voice was so coarse, she wondered if he had even slept. "Just a precaution. There's nothing major...I hope."

"Saeyoung," she said, half in warning and half in prodding. Although, she had no right to demand secrets, did she?

He made an odd strangled sound before she heard a thud from what she assumed was his head against a table. He sighed in acquiescence. "I got an anonymous phone call last night. I…wasn't in a state to pick it up. They didn't leave a voicemail, but…"

His voice trailed off into a low, hesitant hum.

"But?" she pressed further.

"MC, how many people do you think have my personal number?"

Her teeth wore into her already raw lip. Saeyoung's life demanded secrecy since birth. As an ex-secret agent of a high-profile intelligence agency and the illegitimate son of the prime minister, his existence was blotted from most of the world. Knowing him was a rare opportunity. Precious…but rare, all the same. To be out of the shadows right now could mean…

The disfigured image of her boyfriend flashed again in her mind. MC pressed her hand over her mouth, determined not to hurl on the carpet.

"It wasn't a wrong number or anything?" she asked, aware of the naivety of the question but praying for something other than another obstacle.

He scoffed, dashing away the shards of hope she barely managed to gather. Another weary sigh prickled the phone. "I don't get wrong numbers. Besides, I tracked the number, and the area code…It definitely wasn't a mistake."

MC shook her head, trying to make sense of the broken pieces he was giving her. "Area code? I don't understand. Are you in danger?"

Another one of those grating pauses.

"I'm fine for now. I called because I'm worried about you!" he said, only exacerbating her restlessness with the subject change. "You haven't picking up my calls for the past day, you've been absent from the RFA messenger, and with this happening—I thought the worst."

Past day? MC's gaze drifted over to the bottle of sleeping pills on the nightstand. It was knocked on its side, two or three stray pills tumbled onto the wooden surface. Her stomach twisted in remembrance of her desperation to make the swirling images in her head stop. Just for a few hours. But, she couldn't remember how many doses she took—nor how many calls she ignored in the meantime.

The thought provoked the barely quelled fear to surge again. MC balled her shaking hand into a fist and jerked her concentration back onto the conversation.

"I wasn't feeling well yesterday," she hesitated. Her fingers plucked at the loose strings of her pillow, antsy with Saeyoung's patient silence that simultaneously demanded further explanation. "I was sleeping a lot, so I wasn't by my phone. I'm sorry to have worried you."

"Not feeling well?" he echoed. There was that exhaustion seeping into his voice again. "MC, is something wrong—"

"I'm managing," she interrupted before he could pry further.

He grunted on the other end, no doubt suspicious of her words. "You…you still should've texted at least to check in," he said. "And if you weren't feeling well, why didn't you call me? Or someone in the RFA? You know there's still danger while Vanderwood is out there! You can't just disappear like that!"

Despite the sudden outburst, his statements weren't harsh. They were burdened with unconditional care, but the guilt MC was harboring had dealt a heavy blow to her conscience at the reprimand.

"I'm sorry," she said, the words low and heavy as they fell from her tongue. Her next breath shuddered past her lips, and the droplets that pricked her eyes earlier now slid down her cheek. Even when she was trying not to burden him, she did. Stupid.

"No," he deflated, his voice softening. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scold you. I'm just on edge…and paranoid right now. I should've rushed over there as soon as I noticed you hadn't been taking my calls. I just got busy with everything, and Saeran…well, I don't think I should leave him alone for too long."

She nodded, though he couldn't see her. "I understand, Saeyoung. Really."

He groaned in exasperation, some part of him slamming against another piece of furniture. "You're an angel to say that, but I know this situation is frustrating. I'm frustrated at myself for this whole thing."

MC bristled at his apology. She slid her feet into her slippers with more force than necessary. "You shouldn't apologize for not being superhuman, you know."

"I should when you could've been hurt," he returned.

"Saeyoung!" she snapped with more malice than she intended. She dug her nails into her palms, forcing down her tumult of emotions. "Really, I'm fine. I'm not physically hurt, and nothing happened. You're taking care of your brother right now, so don't worry about me."

Something between a snort and a chuckle filtered through his mouth. "That's like telling me not to breathe."

Her chest constricted at the half-whispered statement. The sincere care he had towards her, it physically hurt. It made the distance she had allowed all the more painful.

"And how about you?" she said, massaging the sudden throb in her ribs. "Are you taking care of yourself? Eating? Sleeping?"

A tired chuckle rumbled from his throat, and she could hear the creak of his computer chair in the background. No doubt, he had been snooping through the CCTV feed the moment he found something amiss.

"I'm fine. Don't start nagging me," he whined teasingly. His voice cracked somewhere in between, and any further jests were curtailed by a coughing fit that seemed to attack his lungs.

MC winced at the rasp wheezing that followed. "You sure? You sound like you're getting sick."

Saeyoung calmed himself, and a few audible swallows drifted into the speaker's range. He grunted as if in pain, making his hoarse but cheery rebound unnerving. "Don't worry about me, honey," he chirped. "The only illness I ever caught was lovesickness—and that's your fault."

The corner of her lips begrudgingly unfurled into a smile. Despite the situation, his positivity could be felt through the phone, easing her tense muscles.

"Is that so?" she said, leaning her elbows onto her knees.

"I'm afraid it's incurable too. I'm doomed to love you forever," he moaned in melodramatic anguish.

MC barely mustered a small chuckle in response. It sounded flat and forced even to herself. She couldn't seem to reciprocate his energy, no matter how soothing his presence was. Judging by his long pause, he noticed.

Nothing but his soft breaths reassured her that the line was still connected. "Hey…" he said finally. He inhaled deeply as if prepping his next words. "Just take care, okay? If anything were to happen to you, I don't think I could…I think it would-"

His last words died abruptly, but MC could finish the thought well enough.

It would break him, and he would never forgive himself for it.

A sudden resolution rushed through her veins and shoved down any pain and weariness from her ongoing struggle with…well, whatever was going on with her. She had to stay strong. For him. At least until the worst was over with Saeran…with their father…right? Then they could work things out. It was the right thing. The right thing that felt horribly wrong.

She forced a grin amidst her swirling doubts, afraid he might hear its absence over the phone. "Got it, captain," she said, lifting her gaze to the clock. "Anyway, I should probably let you go—"

"Wait!" he burst. A chuckle full of bundled nerves swept past his lips. "Um, I need a favor first. Can you…come into the hall? For just a second."

MC tensed at the request. She glanced at the mirror on her vanity, catching a glimpse of her ragged appearance. It was odd, really. Her features appeared the same as they always had—though her cheeks were hollower and her eyes rimmed red. And yet, she could barely recognize the trembling girl behind the glass pane. Would he notice the same?

"Please," came his whispered plea. He sounded so desperate…just as desperate as she felt, though she couldn't seem to express the sting still plaguing her chest.

Her resolve from just a few moments before fizzled into oblivion. She was aching to look at him. Even if she couldn't see him or touch him, her heart panged just for a second of connection, just like when she was alone in this apartment-long before she knew the entirety of the RFA's secrets. Long before she knew how much the quirky hacker in the chatroom would affect her.

"Yeah," she found herself saying. "One second."

Her feet dragged against the floor of the apartment until her fingers curled around the cool metal of the door knob. With a prepping breath, she pulled it open slightly, leaning out through the small slit and searching the walls until she spotted the familiar grey camera on the wall.

Saeyoung's soft laughter brushed against her ear, and her stomach fluttered in response. "What's so funny?" she demanded, though a smile wound around her lips again.

"You have cute pajamas."

Heat blistered under her cheeks as she slowly looked down at her legs. She squeaked and covered the pattern of grey kittens and pink hearts with her palm. A series of stammered syllables strung from her mouth as she slid further behind the door.

Saeyoung huffed in displeasure. "Aww, don't hide. It's cute!"

"No fair," she huffed, feeling his gaze trained on her despite not actually being able to see him. Flustered as she was, a small part of her was glad her pajamas were all he seemed to comment on.

"I should go," he said, his laughter dissolving into concern and taking her smile with it. "The sooner I track this number, the better. I don't want to take that chance of them tapping my phone."

"Tapping? Is it that serious?" She dropped the question as soon as it slipped from her mouth. If Saeyoung's suspicions were correct, this wasn't the time for that discussion. "Just keep me updated, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," he returned, his voice heightening to a playful whine, though that bristly edge continued to taint his tone. "And you! You take care of yourself. Eat your meals. Stay hydrated. Always watch your surroundings. And if you have those pesky dreams, wake up, look to the sky and say—"

"Defender of Justice, I need you," she finished, though it was less of a joke and more of an admission. Still, his laughter whittled away her anxiety, almost making her forget the reason he called. "Is there anything else?"

"One more thing," he drawled, humming as if thinking deeply. His liveliness settled into a hushed whisper. "I love you."

They had exchanged the phrase a hundred times before, but in that moment, the simple statement wrecked her. After being able to feel little emotion but anxiety, his affection awakened her numb heart, melting it under his warmth. A lump formed in her throat, hindering her ability to speak.

Gathering her wits, she flicked a strained smile at the camera and pressed her fingers delicately to her lips. She blew the kiss towards the dull metal device, knowing it couldn't encompass the sentiment she felt so heavily, but she would try all the same. "Love you too," she scraped through her closed throat.

"Be safe," he said after a moment.

"You be safe," she shot back. His tiny laugh was the last thing she heard before the line clicked.

The soft buzz of the camera reassured her of his lingering gaze, no doubt waiting for her to return to the known safety of the apartment. Ironically, that's where she felt the least safe—from her own head.

Her fingertips pressed over her heart, still tingling from Saeyoung's contagious. She savored it, knowing that it would fade back into that paralyzed state of numbing trepidation with every passing second.

MC turned to face the open living room, the dread of impending solitude creeping into the closed walls. The door closed against her back and nudged her into the empty apartment. Well, not really empty.

RFA folders littered the floor and tables, and bags of shredded paper were piled into the corner. The only clean surface in sight was the visible edge of the kitchen counter. Yet, the clutter couldn't displace the unsettling atmosphere of place. It was the physical manifestation of the restlessness that reverberated within those four walls and gripped MC in its clutches.

She wasn't sure why the apartment affected her so much now. When she first entered it months ago, the atmosphere was mysterious, thrilling, and intimate all at once. Later, with the mystery and the bomb gone, it was homier.

But lately, every piece of furniture…every smell…every speck of dust reminded her of that woman—of that place where cleanliness was a permeating stench. More than that, it was a materialized form of the trapped feeling crushing her chest at every breath. It was as if she was stuck in this one moment of time alone, unable to escape the past of what happened and too scared to imagine what was ahead. Just…stuck within these four, beige colored walls.

She couldn't take it.

In a split decision, she snatched her jacket out of the closet while her other hand fumbled with the doorknob, almost tearing it from its position in attempts to open the door.

MC wasn't sure where she intended on going—in her pajamas no less- but she needed something other than the solitary prison. Something to revive her tattered nerves.

She had barely tossed the jacket over her shoulders when she rammed into someone waiting outside her threshold. Between Saeyoung's warning and her own overwrought state, she swore she was being kidnapped. Already a scream was edging up her throat, but then two hands clamped around her arms, steadying her before she toppled backwards.

The mixed scent of cologne and cat litter were the first thing MC noticed when she calmed. Though she didn't completely register her savior until she caught a glimpse of a purple tie tucked inside a three-piece suit.

"Jumin," she breathed. Her heartbeat settled, and she slouched against the wall from the relief. "I didn't expect you."

He nodded, releasing her to stand on his own. "I can tell," he said, with a quick glance at her dress. MC couldn't find the energy to feel embarrassed. "I did call, but the line was busy. Everyone was worried, so I thought I'd stop in while I was headed to work."

MC lifted her phone, noting the flood of notifications on the brightly lit screen. In addition to several calls and texts from Jumin, Zen had called twice, Jaehee had texted five times, and even Yoosung had sent a stray text.

A pang of guilt struck her chest. The RFA had been checking on her often, especially with Saeyoung mostly preoccupied. No doubt, her day of accidental disappearance was unnerving.

"I guess you did," she said, sliding her phone in her jacket pocket. "I appreciate the support, but there's no need to be so worried."

She added a chuckle for attempted levity, but Jumin only cast her an unimpressed frown.

"Of course, there's need. You haven't seen anyone in over a week, and you aren't exactly well," he stated bluntly. His gaze darted down her form, as if emphasizing the fact. He softened when she said nothing. "Speaking of which…how are you feeling?"

MC's nails dug into her palms at the question. It was every bit as stifling as the muggy air in the hall. How could she even express the answer? She felt nothing, and yet everything in the same stream. Tired, anxious, lonely—mostly of her own doing, if she was being honest.

"Like crap," she responded, the candid statement refreshing to admit. A quivering chuckle ghosted past her lips, but Jumin didn't seem to find any humor in it. Thankfully, he didn't press further—either satisfied with the answer or too uncomfortable to dig deeper. Still, his brows were knit together with concern creasing his forehead. Despite his neat appearance, fatigue latched onto posture. He looked just as tired as she felt.

"And how about you, Jumin?" she said, her hands slinking into the pocket of her jacket. "How are you?"

His lips pressed in a flat line. It was only now did MC his long figure stroking the edge of a manila folder tucked under his arm. "I'm keeping busy," he said, direct and immoveable as ever. "To be honest, I didn't come here to solely check on you."

MC wasn't sure whether to be offended at the admission or grateful for the distraction he was indirectly offering. "Then?"

His cool, grey eyes flickered to the door behind her as he slowly extended the envelope. One hand tightened around the edge of his blazer, pulling it taut against his side. Within the months she had known the RFA, MC had seen many sides of Jumin—serious, caring, and even teasing at times. But never had she seen him hesitate.

"Jumin?" she said.

A resolution hardened his features, and he abruptly snatched the envelope from her reach before she could even touch it. He slid it back under his arm, his chest rising in a deep breath. "I assume you haven't eaten yet. Why don't you join me for breakfast?"

MC gaped stupidly at the older man, half stunned at the non-sequitur, half confused by the purpose of his visit at all. "Um, don't you have work?"

Within a flash, his phone was out of his pocket with his thumb tapping away at the screen. MC made a mental note to personally apologize to Jaehee later. "It's taken care of," Jumin said, turning back to her. "There's something I wish to discuss with you, if you're willing. But it would be better for you to be stable."

MC took a step back. She knew Jumin had been investigating Mint Eye, even if he wasn't stating it directly, and discussing that place in any aspect seemed like a bad idea.

"I'm not even dressed," she said, gesturing to her pajama-clad legs. "And I'm not very hungry—"

"Isn't there a convenience store across the street?" he interrupted, looking back at the wall as if he could see through it. "Saeyoung had mentioned before you eat there often for comfort food, as he called it. Assistant Kang does something similar. I don't believe there's a dress code."

MC's raised a brow, taking another pace backwards from the shock. She had debated her sanity many times in the past few weeks, but that mere speech alone convinced her she had lost it.

"You're going to eat at a convenience store?" she half-laughed. "For breakfast?"

Jumin appeared so affronted, she expected him to dismiss it as one of his "hilarious" jokes. But then, he jutted his chin out with decisive resolve. "It will be a new experience."

For a moment, a refusal hung on her lips. Her stomach was tightly clenched in knots, and the idea of eating made her sick. But that beige folder sparked her interest. If its contents were enough to make Jumin wary, it had to be important.

"Okay," she said, still unsure about her decision. She reached past him to press the button on the elevator. "Can you at least tell me what you want to discuss?"

A tight smile tugged at the edge of the trust fund kid's lips, and he gestured to the open doors. "Eat first."

MC huffed. She had left the apartment to release some stress, and now her nerves were bundled into tighter knots than before. Why did she get the feeling this morning was going to end as poorly as it started?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC stop this pls. 
> 
> Ah...it's sort of a relief to get this out. Mostly, bc I did a heck ton of research for this ONE chapter, ahahahaha. I may come back and tweak things later, as I'm still trying to get back into the groove of writing and updating this fic again. Hopefully, updates will normalize again. As always, I would love to hear from you guys! Again, apologies for the hiatus.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it was worth the wait! Let me know what you think. 
> 
> For the most part, my updating schedule will differ a bit from my previous fic. The secret ends are a bit heavier in terms of content and also plot, so bear with me. I'll most likely update once a week instead of every few days, and always between friday-sunday, so keep an eye out! Anything in between the week is when I have bursts of inspiration ^_^ I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'll post the next part soon, since it's already done and edited.


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